Jannat 2

I believe that it is time for Mahesh Bhatt to open a school or write a book on the art of making successful cinema – mind you, the operative word here being successful. Not brilliant cinema. Just a book that gives young movie makers an insight into what goes into making a hit movie. A few tricks that I have picked up from a genre of cinema that I would like to call – Mahesh Bhatt as under

1. Ensure there is a super hot woman in the movie even if she has no clue about the first thing that goes into acting. If she knows a bit of acting as is the case with Esha Gupta then you have a better chance of success
2. Ensure that there is at least one hit song in the movie. One which people remember for a really long time and identify at the first note that this is from a movie called XYZ – in this case Jannat 2
3. Ensure there is enough use of language that people can identify with. One that they don’t associate with regular cinema and therefore gets people a bit amused. For e.g. “Mere sar pe kya CHUTIYA likha hai”? Or get the hero to mouth the words “Iski to maa ki” and ensure that it is visible
4. Ensure that the story line is one that doesn’t put people to sleep. Preferably pick up a new topic like illegal small arms dealing – one which is right there for the taking and has surprisingly never been dealt with before.
5. Pick average stars who can hold their own on the screen and hope and pray that one of them comes up with a stellar performance like Randeep Hooda does in the movie under consideration. Even if that doesn’t happen, you haven’t paid too much and will ensure with the previous 4 points that you at least break even. If you get a hit performance they you will laugh your way to the bank.
6. Just enough of action, short chases, some shooting etc. that acts as the seasoning on a salad. The right amount to spice things up.
7. Throw in a sex scene and around 4 to 5 kisses for good measure. As they say – salt to taste

So my dear readers, if you guys were to follow the above instructions and ever make a movie then ensure that you pay obeisance to the great Mahesh Bhatt who mastered this art and has been magnanimous enough to pass it on to directors such as Kunal Deshmukh who are now well on their way to mastering the art. I thought Jannat 2 could have done with a name change at least. The title sounds very corny. Even if they had named it Sonu Dilli KKC (what a campaign I say!!!) it would have been great. Try catching up with this one whenever you can. You will not be bored. 6 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi387949337/