Half Girlfriend (2017) (Hindi)

So if you haven’t seen Fitoor Mishra's CommentArré on the Half Girlfriend Trailer then believe me, the 2 minute narration by this man is definitely better than the 2+ hours of Half Girlfriend – Damn I have to stop stating the obvious.  Have a dekko at the Fitoor Mishra CommentArré first https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rMLg6s68HIc.  And for those who aren’t familiar, Shuturmurg = Ostrich.

Coffee Bloom (Hindi) (2015)

Any of you ever been through a break-up? One in which both of you (or at least you) were so deeply involved that it has left you scarred for life? I can probably see hundreds of hands go up in the air (I say hundreds because that’s how many people follow my blog – showing off ;)).  What are the emotions that go through your head if you were to meet the love of your life (at some point in time) in totally unexpected circumstances.

Roy (2015) (Hindi)

In my books, Roy, was one of the movies of 2015 that I was really looking forward to.  The posters gave a feel of a slow but different and dark movie with Ranbir Kapoor and Arjun Rampal.  The rumoured story was one of a love triangle and Ranbir Kapoor playing a thief.  Enough to get your intrigued and want to watch.

I (Tamil) (2015)

To the average Bollywood movie goer, the passion and crowd support associated with Tamil cinema will be alien to say the least.  How can one explain a sell-out crowd for the 1030 am show at PVR Mulund of all places? Us “Madrasi” fellows follow cinema and our heroes with a passion that only Bhai’s followers can think of matching and even they will fall short because Bhai has a following in Chennai which is higher than Mumbai.

Nevertheless, larger than life director Shankar’s latest Pongal venture is titled “I”.  Why? For that you will have to sustain 3 hrs and 10 minutes of Madras Mirch Masala which the average Bollywood fan may compare to climbing Mt. Everest.  Imagine the plight of us amateur critics who believe that they know enough about cinema to write about it.

I is the story of Lingesan (Chiyaan Vikram) who is a body builder.  He is enamoured by a certain model called Diya (Amy Jackson) who, surprisingly makes a ton of money out of modelling assignments.  Not that she is an actress and endorses products.  She is just a pretty face with a hot bod who has Softy Ice-cream, Bru, Stayfree and Nature Power Soap as some of the brands in her portfolio.

Lingesan is all but in love with Diya and even buys all the products she models for – yes, including Stayfree.  When our hero wins the Mr. Tamil Nadu he gets an opportunity to meet our heroine and before you know it gets catapulted into the big bad world of modelling for high end products.  It involves shooting in exotic provinces in China where a certain flower blooms only in September.

Along the way, Lingesan becomes Lee and also love (read louv) happens – first as make believe to help Lee get comfortable in front of the camera and then actual louv happens.  Of course success does not come without rubbing some people the wrong way who eventually believe that they have had enough and something has to be done about Lee.

Like most Tamil movies with Shankar, I is extremely over the top on almost all counts.  Amy Jackson’s incapability to act is compensated through efforts such as a liberal focus on her assets.  Gimmicks like morphing her into a phone with the call buttons on her breasts do little to help.

Refer link for actual view J (http://content.bollywoodhungama.com/movie/display%20image/300x275%20jpeg/97151571.jpg).  The morphing moves forward with a Royal Enfield, sprouts, fish, a dhobi ghat and of course weights.

There are 3 major fight sequences.  One that involves BMX bicycles over rooftops in China.  Another with Lee’s hands tied behind his back.  But the piece de resistance has to be the first one in a gymnasium before Lee goes onto become Mr. Tamil Nadu.  That has Lingesan fighting the baddie body builders lathered in oil and in nothing but body builder underwear – if you are into that kind of fetish then it is probably a wet dream come true.

Besides the liberal presence of brands from Sunfeast Dark Fantasy to 3 roses tea and of course an entire song titled “i” perfume made in vanilla, I the movie is not short on everything that stands for Tamil cinema.  A transvestite, body builders flexing their moobs (man boobs), an ode to Beauty and the Beast, some great make-up – everything!!!

But the high point or 2 high points have to be mentioned.  One that involves replacing weights with human beings on a 7 foot barbell and performing a lift.  But nothing could probably beat tying your shoe laces by deftly flicking your feet in a manner that only Chiyaan Vikram could.  Simply sensational.  5 on 10 in terms of quality but even 10 would be insufficient to rate the antics that make this movie. Simply awesome.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3484134937/?ref_=tt_ov_vi

Kill / Dil

Shaad Ali is known for making movies that please the heart more often than not.  Saathiya to begin with and then Bunty Aur Babli.  But for some inexplicable reason after that, he made one called Jhoom Barabar Jhoom and now he has all but indicated of his lack of interest in cinema with Kill / Dil.

The Best of Me

There is soppy cinema and there is really really really soppy cinema.  Michael Hoffman’s The Best of Me falls in the latter category – and quite comfortably at that.  Hoffman’s track record includes the George Clooney RomCom called One Fine Day.  He now forays into mainstream romance with a writer who is without doubt the King of Sop – Nicholas Sparks (The Notebook, Message in a Bottle).

Winter’s Tale

Its Valentine’s Day (or it was yesterday :-p) and one had to expect a slew of either RomComs or Romance movies.  Surprisingly, Akiva Goldsman’s adaptation of the 1983 Mark Helprin novel, A Winter’s Tale is the only Valentine’s release that is truly targeted at all those couples who are very much in love (read louv).

Karle Pyar Karle

Hot on the heels of Yaariyan, we have a movie that wants to strongly stake its claim for the most coveted title in Bollywood these days – The Worst Movie of the Year.  In addition to coming close to this title (yep – Yaariyan was horrible.  This one didn’t go that low) this one will stake the claim for Worst Actor / Worst new face in the form of one Shiv Darshan.

Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram Leela

Extravagant. Lavish. Profuse. Gargantuan. Giant. Excessive. Vivid. Rich. Intense. Passionate. Erotic. Sensual. Sinister. Scheming. Blatant. Luxurious. Romantic. Foolish. Stupid. Tragic. Brilliant. Beautiful. Bright. Radiant. Lustrous. Lambent. Splendour. Flagrant. Bold. Dramatic. Stretched. Exciting. Busy. Sharp. Inspired. Massive. Magical. Emotional. Amazing. Superb.

Lootera

O Henry’s stories have been an inspiration for many a story on screen.  Closer to home, Raincoat (Aishwarya Rai, Ajay Devgn) was an adaptation of “Gift of the Magi”.  Only a matter of time before another one was used as inspiration.  This time around it is the turn of “The Last Leaf”.  Vikramaditya Motwane pays homage to O Henry with his adaptation of this classic short – with a little bit of Indian spice thrown in for taste.

Raanjhanaa

I must admit that my initial thoughts about Raanjhanaa were not the most positive.  That Dhanush was part of the movie was one of the prime reasons.  I really didn’t see the reason for picking up a one song wonder as a lead actor.  I wasn’t aware that he was a National Award Winner (Aadukalam – 2011).  Needless to say, the 30 year old, Venkatesh Prabhu Kasthuri Raja aka Dhanush has made most critics (including this amateur one) eat humble pie.

A Little Bit of Heaven

Star World seems to be on a Kate Hudson spree for their segment called Movie Magic.  Sometime back it was Fools Gold.  The week before last we saw that RomCom titled Something Borrowed.  And last week it was this Romance / RomCom movie called A Little Bit of Heaven.

Ishkq in Paris

She turned 38 earlier this year.  So she would have been say a little over 36 when she shot for the movie.  Not an age that one would expect leading ladies to look terribly old right? But all efforts by the make-up man to mask the strained look on her face fail miserably.  Much like the movie itself.  Ishkq in Paris is as disastrous as Preity Zinta looks in her home production.  Will no one produce a movie for her going forward?

I Don’t Love U

This review is due for over a week.  I saw I DON’T LOVE U last Saturday afternoon thanks to a conveniently timed show @ Fame Neelyog, Ghatkopar East.  Or should I say no thanks to them.  It was one of the most painful experiences in cinema in recent times.  Thankfully the rest of the weekend was uneventful.

The Great Gatsby

This one can be easily termed as a classic. And it shows under classics on Amazon.  I tried to download and speed-read but I guess there wasn’t enough time.  I was expecting The Great Gatsby to release only next week.  I guess I need to be a bit more cued in.  But I must say that, 10 minutes into the movie, I thought it was actually true to the book – because that is all I could read before walking into the movie.

Aashiqui 2

First of all, why is it that movie makers these days resort to using the name of a movie that is over 20 years old to mislead the audience? Is it because they know that their movie is so bad that if not for these cheap efforts, no one will come to see it? Can you think of any other reason for them to do this?

I Me Aur Main

Kapil Sharma is a first time director who picks up a topic that is actually quite bold for this part of the world.  That he, like most others in this country, makes a hash out of it comes as no surprise.  I was expecting a crappy movie right from the beginning and hence was probably saved from the disapointment.

Premachi Goshta (A Story about love)

I have been watching quite a few Marathi movies as you may have noticed by now.  Mumbai is unfortunately (or at times fortunately) swamped with Bollywood and people really do not make time for regional cinema of any nature.  Either, the quality of regional cinema has just gone through the roof or I have just got plain lucky.  A string of good movies in Marathi – just the lease of life I was looking for.

Veer Zaara

Now this is the kind of movie that reeks of Yash Chopra all the way from start to finish. And it also reeks of being written by Aditya Chopra. Because it is a larger than life and unbelievable kind of romance. The one that transcends all sorts of boundaries – in the literal sense of the word. One that can be described using the word – unrequited. Very few instances where this ten letter word can be used.

Playing for Keeps

When you have the name Gabriele Muccino associated with your movie, you have to expect a lot of – and I really mean it when I say it – A LOT OF TEARS. He has that innate capability to build in moments that are poignant and force your lachrymal glands into overtime action. And if you don’t believe me then you have to watch Pursuit of Happyness and Seven Pounds.

But, if you walk into the screen expecting a tear jerker but intense movie like what you have seen Muccino make in the past – you are in for one hell of a shock. Playing for Keeps has only some amounts of background music that shows some semblance of his previous work. If anything, PFK, looks more like Nancy Myers has somehow found her way into Muccino’s mind.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am a huge Nancy Myers fan. But Muccino is expected to get some really intense and gut wrenching scenes into the movie. He is supposed to make you think about stuff. He is supposed to make you debate about right and wrong. Not trail the life of an erstwhile soccer player who is separated from his wife and kid and is now looking at some kind of redemption by trying to get back with them.

George Dryer (Gerard Butler) is our victim of a failed marriage. A famous soccer star in from Scotland in his hey days, his relationship with the love of his life – Stacie (Jessica Biel) – has always been strained thanks to his priorities being slightly warped. It has nothing to do with the fact that Stacie comes from across the Atlantic. However, when the marriage fails, George makes the arduous trip across the Herring Pond to do the right thing – finally.

He tries his hand at sports-casting without success. And after watching his son Lewis’ (Noah Lomax) soccer coach teaching the wrong things, he steps in to be the school soccer coach. Of course, doing that comes with its benefits (read – 3 soccer moms). Denise (Catherine Zeta Jones), Patti (Uma Thurma) & Barb (Judy Greer) are either divorced or cheating on husbands with guess who – George!!! – I thought you would never guess.

By now, you are sure that this is anything but a Muccino movie right? So you will agree with the disappointment that I faced. However, to its credit, it is only the story that is not Muccino. Everything else is. I am also convinced that if there is a serious romance movie that you need a lead actor for then Gerard Butler has to be your man. No one else can get the male emotions of being in love better than Butler. And of course it is an added benefit for you women that he is eye candy. 6 on 10. Decent watch. But wait for the DVD.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3070338073/