Baat Ban Gayi

Sayed Asif Jah (the writer), Shuja Ali (the director) & Akshay Singh (one actor) have come together to make an attempt at a story that leaves you gasping for breath.  The less tolerant ones would make their way out of the hall to catch some fresh air frequently.  The even less tolerant ones would walk out in the first few minutes.  Such is the absence of anything that resembles decent cinema in Baat Ban Gayi.

Baat Ban Gayi begins with a scene that shows Kabir (Ali Fazal) who is running through the streets of Singapore and eventually huffs and puffs when he meets Rachna (Anisa Butt).  He is late for their date.  Their love story starts when Kabir is rejected by his then girlfriend who throws away the ring and it rolls all the way to Rachna.  She attempts to return the ring and conversation ensues conveniently.

If that didn’t choke you, then the “punishment” that Rachna gives Kabir for coming late will make your stomach churn for sure.  She forces him to get a tattoo of her name on his back (more like ass).  The pain is felt more by the audience. An uninspiring song later, Kabir is seen proposing to Rachna around a Singaporeans who were probably aware of what the audience in India is going to be put through.

Apparently Rachna is obsessed with her brother (qualified earlier) and will not agree to marry Kabir unless her brother approves.  Also apparently he brother Laxmi Nivas (Gulshan Grover) prefers the nerdy types.  A fact that Rachna conveniently forgot to mention to Kabir.  Not to be undone, Kabir decides to become a nerdy philosophy researcher and lands up at her brother’s doorstep.  The comedy of errors starts over nearly an hour into a movie when the doubles enter the story.

Each minute spent watching Baat Ban Gayi is an experience that familiarizes you with a different level of pain.  Gulshan Grover seems to be making a habit of picking roles that show him as a 30 odd year old and not the 60 year old that he actually is.  Funnily, he is probably the only saving grace in the movie.  Ali Fazal was born with a helpless expression on his face and that’s the only one he has all the way through the 2 hours.

Amrita Raichand is best known for her 6 year presence as the whirlpool mother.  Where Gulshan Grover is a 58 year old playing a 30 something fellow, Raichand is a 27 year old (yep – you got it right) playing a 30 something and I wonder why.  Her role is restricted to wearing chiffon sarees with designer blouses that show her cleavage and midriff.  The costumes are nowhere related to the movie particularly for Raichand.

The less said about Anisa Butt the better. As if the story wasn’t bad enough, the performances make it just horrible.  The low point was when Sulochana (Raichand) tells Rachna (Anisa), “Tum irritated hoti ho toh aur bhi cute lagti ho” (you look even more cute when you are irritated) – And I mean it when I say that it seemed more like she was hitting on Rachna.

The story could have been better executed and with some decent acting and even reasonable dialogues, we could have had an average entertainer.  Instead we get yet another situation where someone abuses the concept of “Freedom of expression” to dole out a movie that is way below par.  1 on 10 for what can be best described as a severe waste of time and money.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bTQ121XI4_A