Bengaloored

Have you ever been alone in a movie hall? If yes, do welcome me to the club. For over an hour into this movie, I thought I was the only person in the hall. Till the friendly usher @ PVR Mulund burst my bubble by informing me that there was a couple in the far right hand top corner that was coochy cooing in the dark. One of the biggest disappointments in my life to learn that I had to exit the club much too early L

Babruvahana…. If u can pronounce the name that is… is the name of Arjuna’s (Mahabharata) son during his exile in Manipur. Now why is this random piece of mythology relevant to this blog? That would be a very smart question I must say. The answer being the lead character of this movie is called by the same name. Very unforgettable name but very forgettable character.

Harish Raj (supposed to be a new star in the Karnataka circle… I wonder why) plays the lead role of an author who leaves Bangalore and returns after 10 years to complete his 2nd book. The first one was a best seller which I wonder how because the character does not show any signs of being capable of writing such a book. But then there is our respected Chetan Bhagat Sir who also is a best selling author. So I guess we can make leeway for Babbu (that’s short for Babruvahana… small mercies I say) especially since this is a work of fiction.

In those 10 years he is supposed have been in France and has returned without the faintest sign of an accent or being French. Highly protected upbringing I assume made sure that he stuck to his roots. More over, he returns to Bengaluru with a vengeance and desperation to ensure that he gets laid. He spends a good 5 mins of screen time (which is a lot) trying to call his old flames that are by now either married or surprisingly don’t want to see him coz he dumped them in his hey days. Now the latter I find it extremely hard to believe. Which girl in her right sense of mind would want to be seen or associated with someone who goes by the name of Babruvahana and looks like Harish Raj? Unless of course there are enough girls out there who do believe in Shakespeare. I would like to find one sooner than later.

Now his pursuits of chasing up old flames finally bears fruit when he literally stalks down Radha (played by one bad actress called Meghna) who tries her best to shake him off but funnily gives in to temptation. The only reason I think this happens is coz the story had to go on. Or maybe it was because Radha could speak with an American accent thanks to her stint with a call centre and poor Babbu had nothing French about him L. Within 2 meetings with Radha our hero is deeply in love with her. That was fast… or should I say desperate.

Nevertheless, in an attempt to add some new angles, there are a few other characters that come into the movie. An author by the name of Ramana who was Babbus’s inspiration and is now a 50+ year loser whose only pastime is singing “Bahaaron Phool Barsao” on his personal Karaoke system. Little do we realize that it is because of his long lost love that he refuses to marry because he does not believe in the institution.

The other is Babbu’s ponytailed dad (who Babbu hates to the extent of calling him a sick bastard… I would if my dad named me Babruvahana) has remarried and is now with one hot south Indian siren (if u know what I mean) ignoring her coz he is about to die…. Boo hoo. Babbu for sure is extremely elated but to maintain audience sympathies gives papa dear a big hug and tells him how never meant it when he wished out loud that Papa would die (LIAR!!!!).

The next character is new Mama’s aunty who as luck would have it, turns out to be Ramana’s muse and long lost love who is now married with children. Smart woman I say (if u saw how Ramana looks u would also say the same). However, our hero Babbu decides to play cupid and successfully gets them back together…. Yeah!!!!

The pivotal character in the movie is however, a tree. Yes you heard me right… a tree where Babbu's original Mama is buried. And since then the tree, which was almost dead, has grown into a huge strong one and of course Babbu credits his mama (may her soul rest in peace) with this miracle. And Babbu will not let her rest in peace. He keeps riding down in his mint condition Yezdi as often as possible to meet her and pain her with his personal problems

Somewhere along all of this, the story of Babbu’s 2nd book is revealed. It is about some dude who loses everything in life. As depressing as the movie.

I would hate to do this normally, but in the interest of saving you guys the pain of going through one of the most painful movies ever, I am going to give away the climax.

Babbu’s dad passes away, Babbu expresses his deep love for Meghna who very politely asks him to FO (you see she is married and is going to the US to stay with hubby dearie) and last but not the least Babbu’s house gets burnt down and his novel along with it. Now why does the house get burnt down? Coz Babbu in his enthu to tell Meghna about his true feelings does not stub his cigarette out well enough. 3 things result due to this
The BBMP which wanted Babbu to give his house away due to a flyover construction is now dancing with glee…. PAISE BACH GAYE BOSS… Babbu dear was refusing to part with it thanks to memories attached
Realisation dawns upon the viewer as to why the movie begins with the statement CIGARETTE SMOKING IS INJURIOUS TO HEALTH… you bet it is!!!! Burns your whole freaking house down man!!!! What if u were in it at the time??? Ho gaya na injurious.
Babbu now has inspiration to rewrite the novel….. man who loses everything etc… good lord!!!!!

I am seriously not going to waste my time on the ratings. Don’t see this movie unless u are a massive Sucker for Punishment OR you just love to get your trips from seeing boring, badly made movies.