Hello Darling

You would watch Hello Darling for any of the following reasons

1. You went for the show of Madholal Keep Walking (which I am sure would have been a far superior choice of a movie) but the show got cancelled.
2. Your definition of a good time is watching a slapstick sex comedy where characters are named “One Hung Low” (Chinese customers of course).
3. You get your cheap thrills by looking @ Celina Jaitley’s cleavage and it is sufficient for your fantasies for the next 30 odd days.
4. You are a movie critic and it is an occupational hazard.
5. You strongly believe, “Never Judge a book by its cover” and therefore you thought the posters did not do justice to the high quality of cinema that you expected it to be.
6. You ran out of places to make out and what better a place than a half empty hall.
7. You simply are a sucker for punishment.

Take your pick folks but avoid the movie like the plague.

Mansi Joshi (Gul Panag) is a department head in a local fashion house. Her boyfriend (Anil Mange) is in London waiting for her to say yes to his proposal. Her boss, Harddick Vasu (Javed Jaffrey) is the epitome of sexual harassment. He is married to Purvi (Divya Dutta) who believes that her ever horny husband is actually “Dudh Ka Dhula”. HDV’s secretary is Candy (Celina Jaitley) who is the atypical office blonde who strongly believes that what she wears is not skimpy at all. Candy’s boyfriend (Chunky Pandey) is a run of the mill musician who lives in with her. Rounding off the shebang is Satyavati Chaudhary (Eesha Khoppikar) who has been recently hired for a position in Mansi’s team.

All the women in the office are quite frustrated with HDV’s sexual advances towards them. But thanks to Mansi’s convincing powers, they stay back for as long as womanly possible. Mansi keeps resisting his advances and keeps swearing to herself that she will kill HDV someday. His favourite way of ticking her off is to ask her to make coffee. In a frustrated moment, she inadvertently adds Rat Poison to his coffee. When she realizes her folly, she finds HDV on the floor of his office. Total chaos ensues.

Hello Darling is definitely the outcome of a bet that the producer had with someone that even a lousy movie can make money in India. What surprises me is that there were quite a few people in the hall and more importantly, enough who were actually amused with the cheap slapstick comments. I guess the producer definitely won his bet. What surprises me even more is that quality actresses like Gul Panag and Divya Dutta are actually jobless. What else could explain the fact that they have willingly accepted to waste their talent on a senseless piece of work. Ladies – you must surely have been in some severe financial strain. Celina Jaitley as always can do no better than show as much cleavage as allowed by the censor board. Eesha Khoppikar doesn’t have much of cleavage to show but she tries to make up with as much skin as possible. Chunky Pandey is almost non existant & JJ is at his pathetic best.

Manoj Tiwari, it would seem was the Assistant director for the Subhash Ghai debacle – Kisna the Warrior Poet. Not that it would have made any difference if it was someone else coz the story in itself is crappy to say the least. A sheer waste of 2 hours is what is say. 1 on 10 just for the attempt I guess.