Cars

OK. Here we go. Focus. Speed. I am Speed. One winner. 42 losers. I have losers for Breakfast…. Breakfast… wait, maybe I should have had breakfast. A little brecky could be good for me. No no no. stay focused. Speed. Faster than fast. Quicker than Quick. I am Lightning. Oh Yeah!!!! Lightning’s ready!!!!
Now how many movies do you know that start off with something as fascinating and memorable as this. Right from the first shot, John Lasseter (Toy Story 1 and 2) and Joe Ranft have you captivated. The story of Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) starts off with the build up to Lightning’s chance at winning the Piston Cup in the final reason of the year. The build up to the stand-off between The Legend, The Runner Up and The Rookie – The Blue Car No. 43 The King, Strip Weathers (Richard Petty), The Green Car No. 86 Chick Hicks (Michael Keaton) and The Red Car No. 95 Lightning respectively who are tied @ same points at the beginning of the final race. And as luck would have it, the final race doesn’t prove to be the final race. Despite the mean efforts of Chick Hicks to cause the other of all crashes, Lightning squeezes through and is about to win the race and become the first rookie to win the Piston Cup. However, the haughty McQueen doesn’t heed his team’s instructions for a tyre change and finds himself at the last corner with two blown tyres, barely manages to cross the line and is tied with The King and Chick forcing a play off or should we say race off in California in a week. Phew!!! So much excitement in the first 10 minutes of the movie!!! You just know it that you have on your hands a phenomenal next 90 minutes.

What strikes you about Cars and puts it comfortably in the top 10 Animation movies of all time in my list – one that includes Lion King, Finding Nemo, Toy Story, Wall E, Up, Ice Age & Kung Fu Panda – is the clearly fleshed out characters. Even the insignificant ones such as Jay Limo or the hottie twins i.e. Tia and Mia or the “Biggest Lightning McQueen Fan” are so nicely called out. The more important ones have almost nothing that is not clear by the end of the story. And the voice overs are simply perfect. I could not have thought of anyone better than Owen Wilson for Lightning and Paul Newman for the Hudson Hornet – a classic combination of a rookie learning from a veteran. Package all of the above with a solid message of humility and you have yourself an entertainer par excellence. One that can be seen with the entire family in town – correction – one that MUST be seen with the entire family in town. Don’t ask me how Happy Feet won the Oscar in the same year as Cars. I would not have in my wildest of dreams thought of handing over Uncle Oscar to anyone else in 2007. Cars 1 is definitely an 8.5 on 10 at least and one that everyone must not only watch but also own.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2483750681/

Transformers Dark of the Moon

Now that’s what you call a partnership!!! We are talking about Steven Spielberg and Michael Bay. And the reason I am gushing over this is because of the common sensical approach to making sequels which most people seem to have forgotten. Retain the director for all parts!!!! The same reason why an X Men turns out to be average is the reason why Transformers turns out to be executed with a significant amount of consistency. By now, Bay knows the concept of The Transformers so well that making one more would be a mechanical effort – almost robotic. One may argue that it gets boring for audiences but it would be quite contrary. A person who knows the concept inside out would be able to experiment equally well and do justice to the end product. On the other hand, someone who comes in fresh not only may struggle to do justice but also be working under the pressure of the performance of the previous movies. I take X Men as a classic example because it is just obvious. The last 3 directors have failed to get X Men upto the level that Bryan Singer took it to.

Transformers : Dark of the Moon, in all honesty has one of the corniest build ups that I have seen in cinema to date. It starts off on the premise that the mission to put man on the moon wasn’t driven by some desire to see the moon but more so because of an alien aircraft crashing into it. This was way back in the 60s. It also puts forward that the Russians could not get man on the moon but did get a camera which got some good shots of this space craft. The last corny part was that the Chernobyl disaster was caused by Aliens. Once we get these trivial parts of the build up out of the way, the movie picks up pace. And how. The space craft is actually an Autobot craft designed and piloted by the legendary Sentinel Prime (Leonard Nimoy) and the mission is initiated to retrieve the aircraft. It leads to the discovery of 5 pillars but when Sentinel awakes he informs the team that there were hundreds of these pillars. No wonder that Megatron is interested in the entire concept. Probably his last chance to take control of Earth or Cybertron.

Like the previous 2 movies, this one too is nearly 2.5 hours and the first 30 minutes is quite wasted in the long build up. As mentioned earlier, it does pick up pace but I personally believe that neither of the movies deserved more than 90 minutes of overall time. That Michael Bay can hold your attention for so long is credit to his directing capabilities. Also, I wonder what was the need to end the relationship that Sam (Shia Le Bouf) had with Mikaela (Megan Fox) and replace it with the fresh and “amazingly hot but don’t know whats wrong with her face” Rosie Huntington-Whiteley – don’t get me wrong folks, I think she is hot alright but was there a need to change the eye candy as such. Didn’t quite understand the reason. Overall, entertaining and as good as the first part, Transformers Dark of the Moon is a must watch @ 7 on 10

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi543989017/

Transformers Revenge of the Fallen

It was quite obvious at the end of the first edition of Transformers in 2007 that the sequel was only a matter of time away. And 2 years from the original is near perfect timing for any sequel. Not a rocket scientist in these matters but it kind of gives enough runway for the movie to settle down in people’s minds and with the correct marketing that starts about 6 months before the sequel you have created a solid platform to cash in on the hype that is created. All of this of course on the back of a successful first movie of course. And Transformers 1 left quite a mark on most of its audiences with superb use of special effects and more importantly, a tech breed of super heroes which no one has seen before. And especially so in India where the Hasbro Toys probably went on sale only after the movie released. I am not sure if the comic books were in circulation before. I hadn’t heard about the Transformers till I saw the movie – probably a deprived childhood I guess ;).

Transformers – Revenge of the Fallen (TROTF) takes us back a few millennia where the ancestors of the current Transformers have been searching the universe for more sources of Energon - Energon is the life source of inhabitants of Cybertron in case you have forgotten, through something called the All Spark. The Dynasty of Primes as they are called – probably because they were the first few ones – built a machine that would go from planet to planet and harverst / drain the energy from the suns / stars of the respective planets and convert it to Energon which would power the All Spark. They also decide that all life bearing planets would not be used for this purpose. However, one Prime decided that it was a silly rule and constructed a harvester on earth. Needless to say, the rest of the Dynasty wasn’t too pleased with this and tried to stop him. Left with no choice, they take the Matrix of Leadership – the key to the harvester – and hide it in a secret location. To protect it further, they build a tomb around it with their own bodies thereby making it untraceable. The defector Prime has since been dubbed – The Fallen. The dynasty does leave some clues about its existence through some markings and that’s where our heroes Sam (Shia LeBouf) and Optimus Prime (Peter Cullen) come in. The former to crack the code and find the matrix. The latter because only a Prime can kill The Fallen.

TROTF would make one believe that it has almost been inspired in Star Wars style where in Episode 5, The Empire Strikes Back. Also clearly indicating in Star Wars style that there will be another one to follow where the “Jedi Return” in all probability. One would not be too far away from the truth but the essence of the 2nd edition, I believe is to familiarize people with what happened before and more importantly set you all up for a fantastic 3rd edition. Not a movie with stellar performances in any way. Just brilliant effects on lines of the first edition. Continued emphasis on sound which was the hallmark of the first edition and continues to be so even in TROTF. Whether the 3rd one turns out to be as good as part 1 or better remains to be seen. Transformers – Dark of the Moon releases today in India. Considering that the combination of Michael Bay and Steven Spielberg are still involved, I am betting on it being as good as the ones before. TROTF gets a 6 on 10 from my side. Little lower than the first part but quite solid.

Watch the trailer of TROTF at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2982019609/ and TDOTM at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi543989017/

Transformers

Four years since the first edition of Transformers too this world by storm if I were to put it very mildly. The world was introduced to characters which weren’t seen before and which were fascinating and unimaginable to say the least. Cars which converted themselves to robots which were larger than life itself and ditto for airplanes and cranes in fact anything to do with automobiles. We were introduced to the fascinating existence of Cybertron and its inhabitants – The Autobots led by Optimus Prime and The Decepticons led by the vicious Megatron. As the story goes, a war between the 2 major tribes or so to speak in a galaxy far far away leads the Autobots to flee with their immense source of power – the AllSpark – and hide it in our very own planet earth. The All Spark has the immense capability of giving life to all technology be it a mixer grinder or an air conditioner or a computer. All of this was over 150 years back. In the current day, the Autobots are back to claim what was rightfully theirs in the first place – The All Spark – and yet again, they are not alone coz the Decepticons have gladly joined the party. Fasten your seat belts folks cause if you haven’t seen this one then you have missed one of the best ever Sci Fi / Action movies made to date.

Steven Spielberg could not have picked up a better person to direct the first of his trilogy (to date and hopefully many many more to come). Michael Bay shot to fame with Bad Boys and then The Rock. It wasn’t surprising because not too often do you see a director of an action movie paying as much attention to detail as Michael Bay. He makes use of sound like very few other directors that I have seen – not that I have seen too many very honestly but the use of sound in Transformers especially when the Autobots actually Transform themselves is quite superb. The special effects with Michael Bay are unquestionable and without them it would obviously be impossible to get Transformers to life. All of this was from a bunch of toys which eventually got converted to a comic book series – Incredible!!!!

Don’t look out for much on the acting front although Shia Le Bouf is definitely quite solid. Wonder how they got Hugo Weaving’s voice to sound like it does through Megatron. Amazingly eerie. Megan Fox provides the required levels of eye candy (sizzling eye candy actually).

All in all, Transformers has shows right from the first release that there is room for a sequel and considering that Spielberg had the foresight to sign up Bay for 3 editions, we are on the verge of the release of Transformers Dark of the Moon tomorrow. Have a wonderful time folks. Transformers I gets a 7 on 10 from my side. Hope TDOM is as good.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi973209625/ and that of and TDOTM at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi543989017/

Double Dhamaal

The occupational hazards of being an amateur critic. I have mentioned this in the past. And I guess it is too beaten to death to expect any sympathy or empathy. I asked for it I guess. Double Dhamaal is way up on the charts when it comes to inane comedy. But what keeps beating me is that why would a bunch of actors who are known for their comic timing and their skill in front of the camera actually make such a compromise and be part of a movie that is just downright ridiculous. I just don’t get why the likes of a Sanjay Dutt, Arshad Warsi and Javed Jaffrey would stoop to the levels of making it so obvious that their cash flow situation is in dire straits and they need the money really bad. I can still understand the situation of Kangana Ranaut and Mallika Sherawat and even Ritiesh Deshmukh but the former 3 put me at sea completely. Nahin Samjha :S

If the complete lack of even a semblance of direction doesn’t get to you, I am certain that the disgusting performances would easily do that. I am quite certain that most of you would be aware that the first edition of this series was based on the fantabulous comedy directed by Stanley Kramer “It’s a Mad Mad Mad World” which starred the evergreen Spencer Tracy. It was bad enough that Indra Kumar copied one of the better comedies made in the world to date – one that was extremely clean in humour as well as execution – and made it into a mockery of comedy. 4 years down the line, he has put us through one more such pain. And this time around he has kind of mished and mashed some kind of a spoof on Oceans 11 – or any other movie that you can think of which has a casino robbery in it. Basically nothing much that you can look forward to.

I am not delving too much more into the story coz it is quite bad. The same 4 irritants – Adi (Arshad Warsi), Roy (Ritiesh Deshmukh), Bomman (Aashish Chaudhary) and Manav (Javed Jaffrey) realize that Kabir (Sanjay Dutt) is now a big man into real estate but is all thanks to his wife Kamini (Mallika Sherawat). They decide to teach him a lesson but in the bargain get conned themselves of Rs.250 crores. The chase moves to Macau where they now try to get even once again with Kabir who owns a casino by now. The idea is to rob the casino and make Kabir suffer.

Watch Double Dhamaal if you are a fan of the slapstick and the ridiculously pathetic versions of comedy that have be show cased in the past in the likes of Masti, Dhamaal, Dhol, Thank You, Welcome etc. etc. etc. If you don’t like these attempts at comedy then I would recommend that you stay away from the halls. But then as always, I went out of the theatre feeling quite disappointed not because of the movie but because a significant chunk of the audiences actually laughed at some of the pathetic jokes. Sad sign for the days to come.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi3551894553/

Cycle Kick

I was in a nutshell, “circumspect” when I walked into watch Cycle Kick this afternoon. My experience with trailers, as most of you would know by now, hasn’t been the best to date. And therefore – circumspect. It was the 3rd movie of the day for me and I was quite bored after having watched Resident and Always Kabhi Kabhi before this. Hence the hope in my heart that the movie turns out to be as good as the trailer and not another damp squib. Adding to my doubt was the fact that it came from the stables of Mukta Arts and Dr. Ghai hasn’t been at his best for over a decade now.
But about 20 minutes into the movie, I was quite at ease. The story had built up pace well and there were some really good performances to watch. The entire cast was fresh. I haven’t heard of Nishan Nanaiah, Sunny Hinduja, Girija Oak, Ishita Sharma & Dwij Yadav – Ramu, Ali, Shrishti, Suman and Deva respectively. These are the lead characters in a movie that is about hope – ala Iqbal – Aasha Niraasha se Nikalti hai. Bas Nikaalne waala chahiye (From despair springs hope. It just depends on the person who can generate it – very loosely translated). Again ala Iqbal there is a coach but this time he isn’t a drunk and desperate Nasserudin Shah. Cycle Kick marks the return of Tom Alter in the role of Coach Thomas – the spirited, principled coach of St. Joseph’s College who refuses to accept a team built with kids who are present only because their father is a reputed trustee or provides the institute with money. He gets into a disagreement with the school principal, Gaitonde (Ashok Beniwal) and moves to the local Government College in the hope of teaching football to the economically deprived. All of this is happening as the characters of Ramu and Ali are getting fleshed out as two young kids who can play football but are poor enough to barely afford 2 square meals a day. Their only aspiration is to own a cycle – for the former it is about making more money by putting up more movie posters in a day and picking up his kid brother after school each day; for the latter it is about impressing his lady love.

Newbie director Shashi Sudigala, who has also written the story – an original one – based on old concepts however. But the good part is that it is written sincerely and from the heart. The difference between this one and AKK is perceptible to say the least even to the unseasoned eye (Roshan Abbas are you listening???). Sudigala builds up the story very well in the first half with great camera work and editing in a manner that is very natural to say the least. The emotions and worries of 2 young kids and their passion for their broken down cycle have been represented very well indeed. We do seem to have a good prospect on our hands with Sudigala. Before I close I would like to call out an outstanding performance by Dwij Yadav in the role of Ramu’s little brother Deva. Super confident in front of the camera and exceptional dialogue delivery. And I am not taking anything away here from Nishan Nanaiah but to see a 3 foot kid performing the way he did was superb to say the least. Cycle Kick is a great way to spend a Sunday afternoon with the family. Probably the best movie released this weekend – 6 on 10. Would have loved to give it a 7 had Sudigala not goofed up on his execution post the interval.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1jB9dZfto0

Always Kabhi Kabhi

Dear Roshan Abbas – When someone makes his first movie it should ideally be an original story line. If not there should be at least some semblance of originality if not completely original. But ripping off an entire Hollywood flick to the extent that it has been – GAWD!!!! Have some shame. We are definitely an Indian audience but we definitely have our resources to watch Hollywood flicks. Plus the DVDs of High School Musical 1, 2 and 3 have been sold as a box pack for over 2 years now. You have actually made Anu Malik look like a walk in the park. Copy dude. But copy well. At least respect the original to the extent of replicating it well. Each and every frame of your debut flick has been so tackily shot that after 15 minutes it doesn’t seem funny. And your talk about speaking to the Gen Y or Gen Next or whatever you want to call them hasn’t really worked. There were enough and more kids between 13 and 19 who were in the hall and actually struggling to get through the first half. By the time the 2nd half started they were already contemplating an exit and planning the next hour and half in advance.
And Roshan – the script is also written by you. Now why would you put in dialogues such as, “IIT aur MIT mein sirg ek akshar ka farak hai” (The difference between IIT and MIT is only one alphabet) and “Life me koi keyboard ka shortcut nahin hota hai. Isse google nahin kiya ja sakta. Isse experience kiya jaata hai” (Life doesn’t have a shortcut key on the keyboard. You cannot google it. You have to experience it). Of course there was one good dialogue somewhere in between which said, “Is generation ki nazar tab jhukti hai jab SMS milta ho” (This generation will bow its head only when it receives an SMS). Quite deep I must say Mr. Abbas.

And do kids start drinking like fish at the age of 17 these days and walk into school with hangovers the size of Mt. Everest? Gawd if that is true then we sure are headed for some trouble soon enough. What the hell is the local government talking about an age limit of 25??????

And then there is the cast of when the guys are probably the saving grace. All students of the St. Marks College. Decent debuts from Ali Fazal (Shortcut Sam Sameer) and Satyajeet Dubey (Taariq Einstein Naqvi). And the Brazilian beauty’s follow up movie has 20 times as much dialogues as the first one. She spoke 2 lines in the first one and she speaks 40 lines in this one. So that’s progress. Bringing up the tail is the pocket rocket Zoa Morani (Nandini “Nandy Bull” Oberoi). The lead cast has a meek attempt for support from the rest Pritika Chawla, Navneet Nishan, Akash Khurana, Lillete Dubey, Satish Shah & Ashwin Mushran (Why do you take these roles really???). The ever reliable balance cast of Manoj Joshi, Mukesh Tiwari & Vijay Raaz are solid as always. Most of the music is also quite uninspiring. Net Net, Always Kabhi Kabhi is quite a waste of 2 hours if you have seen High School Musical. If you haven’t seen HSM then I suggest you watch it and not waste your time on AKK. It’s a 3 on 10 from my side thanks to a couple of songs and a couple of good performances.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi558275865/

Green Lantern

Everyone associated with movies in this world would have this in their bucket list for certain. It is not debatable and anyone who denies it is bound to be a liar. I mean its just too obvious right. Surely you guys know what I am talking about considering this is the review of the Green Lantern – Its being associated with a Super Hero movie in some way or the other. Look at it. Its just such an obvious money spinner. So why do you think acclaimed director Martin Campbell (2 Zorro movies, 2 Bond movies under his belt) and chocolate boy hero Ryan Reynolds or for that matter Gossip Girl (ooops – Blake Lively for the uneducated) be any different. I mean even Tim Robbins and Angela Basset want to be in one for crying out loud!!! And if all of these can crave to be in a super hero movie then why not Geoffrey Rush also.
What do you need to make one? Simple – a comic book superhero that not too many people have heard of. Something with a very reasonably interesting story line. With a little different angle on the source of the power of the super hero – now this is very important – some rock from a different planet or radioactive arachnoids are passé I say. Too predictable. Then there is the woman in the scheme of things who has to be gorgeous and exceptionally understanding (yeah right!!! No wonder they call it fiction) – someone who is strong as a rock face but yet vulnerable enough for the hero to help her out. And yes there has to be some conflict in the romance right. How else can it get romantically exciting as well right? A super hero movie would be incomplete without a villain with a bent of mind that is kind of similar to the hero – mind you this is extremely important – the villain has to be appear a bit humane in a super hero movie. He has to have been cheated of something very important in his life and has to have some hope of getting back to being a good guy – but alas he will die in the end because it has all happened too late. Alternatively, the villain can be a really bad ass guy with no hope for return which the audience would love to see pulped. Studies have however revealed that the more humane villain is more successful than the bad ass villain. Lastly there has to be a narrator – someone with a strong voice to carry audiences all the way through. Now how is that for a guaranteed formula for success – and of course, if reasonably made and finished with just that little bit open then there will be sequels for follow.

What will intrigue you about Green Lantern is the concept of using emerald energy in the form of will and fighting against yellow energy which comes in the form of fear. DC Comics will celebrate 75 years of the Green Lantern in 2015 and considering that 6 people have been Green Lanterns - Alan Scott, Hal Jordan, Guy Gardner, John Stewart, Kyle Rayner & the gorgeous daughter of Alan Scott – Jade, you can be rest assured that there would have been one more edition of the Green Lantern before that if not 2 more. This one deals with Hal Jordan. It has all the ingredients of a super hero movie that’s got most of the points right. It is an easy watch with reasonable 3D (Avoid PVR thanks to the huge glasses which could fracture your nose) and good special effects. You can take your kids along as well. 6 on 10 is what I say.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3445005593/

Bhindi Bazaar Inc

Assimilate these 3 sentences
1. “Kisi Ne Kaha Hai ki khel harne ya jeetne ke liye nahin kheli jaati. Woh usne zaroor haarne ke baad hee kaha hoga”!!! (Someone once said that it doesn’t matter if you win or lose in a game. He must have surely said that after losing a game).
2. What goes around – comes around
3. Maro yaa Maaro (Eat or be eaten)
The entire concept of Bhindi Bazaar Inc. can be explained with just these 2 sentences. A simple concept of every subsequent person in the food chain wanting to grow a bit too fast for his own good in the race to be at the top of Mumbai’s biggest area for crime – organized or unorganized – Bhindi Bazaar. The story of Fateh (Prashant Narayanan) and Tabrez aka Tez (Gautam Sharma) who grow up as the best of buddies and as protégés of the local “Maamu” (Pawan Malhotra). But what does Maamu do? He is the local handler for all the pickpockets in a part of Bhindi Bazaar. And extremely organized set up. And one that comes with its own hassles of restricting yourself to the area that has been assigned to you. As was found out by one of Maamu’s men who strayed into the area of their arch rivals from next door, the area across the tracks, led by Bhaiyyaji (Piyush Mishra) and his right hand man, Sankat Pandey. Superimpose all of this with a Pharma Company that is trying to use this network of crime to spread flu so that their drug starts flying off the shelves and of course the most important person of all – the guy who controls it all from his air conditioned sprawling Apartment – the big boss – Shroff (Kay Kay Menon). That my friends is the best way I could give you a synopsis of what you are in for when u walk in to watch BBI.

In a bit over 2 hours, newbie director Ankush Bhatt tries his best to get a bunch of people of act but fails quite miserably at it. Kay Kay Menon and Piyush Mishra need not be told usually what to do on screen and have the capabilities to figure out what is to be done by themselves. Kay Kay however has a staid role which is more of a Sutradhar that a lead character. Prashant Narayanan and another newbie Gautam Sharma both flatter to deceive. Somewhere I have always thought that Prashant can be a much better actor but keeps getting into these roles which require him not to shave and speak in a very “Mawali” (Rowdy) fashion. Gautam Sharma will take a long long time to get upto speed with the concept of acting. We then come to the 4 pieces of furniture. Firstly Shilpa Shukla who has been out of a job since Chak De and is desperate to get her 15 minutes of fame back. Then there is new comer Shweta Varma who is as frigid on screen as a polar ice cap with no sight of global warming. And the last but one piece is the very slutty winner of an MTV VJ or model Hunt – Vedika Pratap Singh – whose only job it would have seemed was to to show off her cleavage (which was clearly enhanced) and have 3 sex scenes with different men. And rounding off the entire shebang with the disappointing cousin of Jenny from the block – Caterina – who was being spoken about over the radio as the next big thing in item numbers – NAH!!! Nothing u will miss.

In the end what would have been basic fodder for the likes of an RGV turns out to be a damp squib to say the least. To summarize – Strong but beaten to death concept, below par direction, Under utilized actors, inconsistencies galore, one reasonable song, 3 sex scenes, one item number and Jackie Shroff (yuck!!!) & Deepti Naval in special appearances – if you believe this whets your appetite then go right ahead with BBI. I kinda wasted my time on this 4 on 10 movie.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fKqEwde6Rb4

Bheja Fry 2

It is never easy to make a sequel to a movie. Especially if the first one has been a stupendous success. The expectations of the audience have already been set extremely high. What it does though is ensure that the cash registers at the Box Office are continuously ringing. Music to the ears of the movie hall owners who are anyways having a tough time getting people to come in. However, a not so great sequel leaves the audience feeling distinctly cheated and more importantly ensures that there are no further sequels. May not be completely the case with Bheja Fry as a franchise thanks to one Vinay Pathak who carried the first edition ably on his shoulders - with support from a solid cast and a great script. The makers were sure enough to succeed with BF2 @ the BO. If and when there is a BF3, it will definitely break even thanks to the first one. And if it doesn't do well then u know what the reason would be.

The makers did get the first thing right in retaining Sagar Bellary as the director to ensure consistency of thought. But who was to know that Mr.Bellary had already fallen victim to the commercial aspects of cinema. BF2 is the classic case of, as I had tweeted, the fall of classic comedy to the levels of cheap slapstick humour and just glimpses of classic comedy which were too less for the normal movie goer to catch. What stumps me is that having tasted success with the evergreen genre of classic comedy, why would Bellary take a turn towards the slapstick? And why in the blazes would he get superb performers of the likes of Amol Gupte to stoop down to the levels of inanity on screen. Amol Gupte was surely desperate to get some money into the bank. Vinay Pathak continues to excel at his role of the irritating, "shudh hindi" (chaste hindi) speakinng, simpleton who goes by the name of Bharat Bhushan. The rest of the cast however changes to feature Kay Kay Menon who seems to have forgotten how to act. Minisha Lamba starts slow and seems have been picked to compensate for being just eye candy but then shows glimpses of decent acting before getting relegated the the level of Aditi Govitrikar who was furniture anyways to begin with. The only other noteworthy performance was from Suresh Menon as the sincere uncorruptable IT Officer MT Shekharan who is chasing Ajit Talwar (KK Menon) for IT fraud.

A tacky script, several inconsistencies (like Lamba jumping into the pool and coming out dry with her hair band intact and then again dripping wet in the room still with hair band perfectly held in place), very average music and not so great editing make BF2 a let down. But then most people would have got that from the trailers itself. Just the hope that people live in which dragged them into the halls. 5 on 10 for this one Mr. Bellary - regretably u have disappointed us!!!

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VUUBTnqTWc8

Shaitan

One of the reasons I did not put up the review of Shaitan up earlier was because I was quite certain that people would watch it – review or no review – and not be disappointed with it. The other reason – the more important one – was that I was and still am running the movie back in my head to piece a few things together to figure out if they were really required in the movie. I probably have missed a few points when I saw the movie for the first time and may manage to latch onto the finer nuances when I watch it again (which will probably be this week). Its worth it when you are debating whether to give a movie a score of over 8 or was it really that good.

What makes Shaitan a magical experience is not just the direction. In fact that’s a small part of the entire mix is what you would feel at the end of it all. I have not seen a movie in a long time where the performances of every single person in the cast was near outstanding. If there was a blemish in the performances it would have been Nikhil Chinappa who appeared the weakest. Even the dialogue deprived (actually no dialogues at all) Sheetal Menon was inch perfect in her essaying of the peeved wife of a cop who decides to leave him albeit for a couple of days. Kashyap and Nambiar have taken very true to life actors and led them to probably their best performance possible not only to date but maybe for good. How else can you explain the likes of a Kirti Kulhari coming up with what she has. Her last performance was as Pammi in that slapstick movie – Khichdi. What a transition I say!!!! I tip my hat to you M/s Kashyap & Nambiar – like several others in this country are doing as we speak.

There are 3 reasons why I will not give Shaitan a score of more than 8 – Firstly I did not find the reason to introduce Shomu (Rajat Barmecha) into the story at all. Yes, it was a nice way to call out a kidnapping plot but I personally felt it was too stretched out. Secondly – I did not find any reason to introduce a chase scene with a Dahi Handi in the background. It could have been a regular chase. Difficult cut to make for any director but I guess that’s what differentiates the tough directors from the not so tough. Lastly, I felt the movie lost tempo somewhere in between. Cannot really point a finger on the exact spot where it started dropping and it picked up again but I did feel a sense of the movie drifting a little bit for about 15 minutes. In atypical Anurag Kashyap style, Bejoy Nambiar gets the movie from an absolute high down to the very low abysses and then shoots it again through the roof. I am quite certain that the movie was ghost directed by Anurag Kashyap – every frame reeks of Kashyap. Unless Kashyap is not only a great director but also a fabulous teacher and has trickled his learnings down to his protégé better than anyone else can.

My final verdict - 8 on 10. Undeniably the best movie of the year so far. MUST WATCH. And yes – Don’t miss the chase sequence with the evergreen Khoya Khoya Chand Remix playing in the background. Completely blows your mind!!!! And this is my official protest against the makers for not carrying such a brilliant track on the Audio CD.  Please release the uncut version with a couple of more tracks and i will still be standing in line to spend another 150 bucks for it.  Hope u have it on the DVD when u release it.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1kk_5OohaM

X Men First Class

This one is actually a slight dampner of sorts. Although the effects make up for a lot that it seems to have been missed in other departments and the fact that the number of X Men fans across the world aren’t going to reduce with probably the first effort that has been just over average would put the owners of the franchise at some ease. The mutants are here to stay just as they sign off by saying – MUTANT AND PROUD. You can expect many more stories going forward from this “different” bunch. In fact, X Men First Class has set it up beautifully for several sequels in the coming years. Rest assured, the impact from the previous 4 have left enough of an impact on fans and non fans alike to keep coming back to the movie halls. It will take quite a disaster to make any dent on the fan following.

The producers, however, have to really take a long hard look at the past 3 directors and they would probably find an answer there. Brett Ratner (X3), Gavin Hood (Wolverine) and Matthew Vaughn (XMFC) just don’t measure up to the magic that was created by Bryan Singer in X1 and X2. Ratner, Hood and Vaughn seem to rely much more on the effects and really don’t focus as much on building a story that is irresistible. Although XMFC does try to build up the background on the entire concept, I felt they tried to do just that little too much and lost out on the story somewhere in between. I wouldn’t be wrong if I were to say that the term First Class actually came to life – The movie seemed more like a class room session. Something like Course - XMen Class – 101 – I hope u got what I meant to say. It would be clear when u do watch the movie.

My intent till now has not been to blast XMFC at all and I must apologise if it was perceived as a whipping. The movie is definitely worth a watch and you will not get bored. The classic fan though may land up being a tad disappointed. But his passion will drive him to give the movie a score that is more than what it deserves. I would give it a 6 on 10. Maybe a bit harsh. But I am also pegging it against the previous editions and I find that this one was just about par for the course. And if the characters were not fleshed out as well as they were – especially Xavier, Magneto and Raven – I would have given it 5. But for these aspects, there is nothing much other than effects. Acting is just about there to create some aura around the characters. The casting is apt but then this is as much as what McAvoy and company can get upto in terms of acting in a super hero movie. It’s a big screen watch for certain – you cant watch XMFC on the small screen and miss out on the effects.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi168926489/

Ready

Before you go to watch Ready, please follow the steps as under
1. Open Skull
2. Carefully pull out brain – make sure you don’t damage anything else the purpose of saving the brain from trauma would be defeated.
3. Now, place brain in a bowl of ice cold water and leave it in freezer for the next few hours
Now that you have no sense of pain or pleasure or excitement or humour, you are in the perfect situation to watch one of the most brainless pieces of work that Bollywood could have given to you. This one takes the cake and makes David Dhawan look like an Oscar winning director. This freak of nature has taken slapstick and cheap comedy to a completely different level. And what is shocking is that the audiences are loving it and lapping it up. Every single piece of crap that is dished out from his table seems to be going so well with the audiences that his sense of false self belief is getting bloated beyond recognition and repair. And no we aren’t talking about Salman Khan who was probably the only saving grace in Ready other than Paresh Rawal. We are talking about this phenomenon (what else can you call him) called Anees Bazmee!!!! Its truly ridiculous that someone like Bazmee can get away with all the bull shit that he dishes out. But as I said – the audiences are loving it to say the least :’(:’(:’(:’( Other than the 4 of us who had braved the Saturday rains in Mumbai to watch the 2250 show (and I was doing this after watching 5 decent movies before), everyone else seemed to be having a stupendous time. Maybe they followed my instructions to the T and were informed earlier by someone else.

Prem (Salman Khan – for the nth time being called Prem) is a Chartered Accountant (can you believe that!!!!). But wait… there has to be a twist right. He is based in Bangkok – wonder whose accounts he was balancing there??? He is the sole heir to millions (of Bahts I am assuming) owned by his father Ram (Mahesh Manjrekar) and his uncles Laxman (Manoj Pahwa) and Bharat (Manoj Joshi). But the families have given up on him per se thanks to his mischevious ways. His favourite pastime is to get single girls hitched with the guys of their dreams – especially if the single girls are hot and happen to be the neighbour’s daughter – AAAARGH!!!!! But the folks finally manage to get him to consider a girl recommended by the family Baba. A chick coming in from the US. And heres is where the 2nd and ultimate twist happens of a girl exchange. Instead of a certain Pooja who no one in the family but the Baba has seen, Sanjana (Asin) lands up taking her place. Chaos and of course love happens soon enough. And yes… a tuk tuck chase is thrown in as garnish

None of my closing comments will save you from the torture that you will go through. Although I don’t owe any apologies to Sheena, Hersh and Vivek because they willingly accepted the proposition of going through this mindless piece of crap, I believe I still will apologize to them because I came up with the idea. What prevented me from watching Hangover 2 I will never know – wait of course I know – the 3 of them had already seen it :’(:’(:’(. The positives however include some foot tapping music and some extremely cocky dialogue delivery from Salman. For e.g. “Is duniya mein 3 cheezon ko kabhi underestimate mat karna – I, Me and Myself” (For the non educated in Hindi – Never underestimate 3 things in life – I, Me and Myself!!!) AAARGH ^ infinity. 2 on 10 for the above 2 points and some decent comic timing in patches from Paresh Rawal (more out of respect).

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ACvDgKuTxnA

West is West

In some cases, it is only correct that the launch of a movie in India is delayed. That West is West was released within 4 months of the release in UK will remain one of the unsolved mysteries in the world. For my money’s worth, West is West could have well avoided its release in India. By no means is it as bad as some of the recent Anees Bazmee flicks that have torchered us. But by no means is that a benchmark to take when u release a movie in India right?
So insipid and boring is the script of WiW that even the exceptional capabilities of the likes of Om Puri and Vijay Raaz fall short in their attempt to lift the script and narration to the next level. There is just no content there for either of these fantastic actors to even try and deliver. I did read a candid confession from Om Puri sometime back that he does take up movies for just the money and now I am quite certain that he was referring to WiW. And I don’t think I should forget to mention that the better actors had to sustain quite a horrendous set of performances from the other half. WiW has just no consistency of performances. And that would speak volumes about the director’s inability to generate anything of substance from the cast. Andy DeEmmony continues to add to the list of TV directors who have cut a sorry figure in front of the world and continue to add fuel to the speculation that TV directors cannot make good directors on the silver screen. What gets to you even more is that all of this points towards a movie that has been made without any heart whatsoever. Everyone just seems to be going about their motions in stereo typical fashion – we have been paid for it, so may as well get it over and done with. Disappointing to say the least.

The insipid story is about Sajid (Aqib Khan), the youngest son of George / Jahangir Khan’s (Om Puri) second marriage to Ella (Linda Bassett). His is probably the worst life one could have bargained for. On one hand, he is the manifestation of, “Daddy mujhko bola – tu galti hai meri” (Dad tells me I am the mistake he made – literal translation of latest hit from new Bollywood movie Delhi Belly) and on the other hand the bullies at school make him suffer for being the Paki that he is. To make matters worse, he has a principal, Mr. Jordan (Robert Pugh) who keeps boring him with the starting lines of Kim by Rudyard Kipling – so much that he starts liking the idea as well. And then there is Maneer Khan (Emil Marwa) who is the elder brother, now in Pakistan and dutifully taking care of the farm there. George decides that he has had enough and takes the route known to most traditional Indian parents. He decides to take Sajid to Pakistan to get him familiar with his roots and try and get some Paki sense into his Brit brain. YAWN. 4 on 10 thanks to Om Puri and Vijay Raaz and maybe a little thank you to the “Hit by a truck” look that Ila Arun puts up through the entire movie.  I would have given -10 for the weak attempt at mixing British humour with Paki / Indian humour but i am in a kind mood this morning.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3248528153/

Hanna

If I am not wrong, this is the first time that acclaimed director Joe Wright has made a departure from his forte of movies under the genre “Drama” and moved to “Espionage”. But then again, Hanna is actually one of the slowest action movies that I have seen in a long time. So it maybe correct to classify it as just Drama. In typical Joe Wright fashion (Atonement, Soloist, Pride & Prejudice), the movie pays painful attention to detail and consistency. It uses the right camera angles and the right cuts to create the maximum possible impact that Wright can deliver. Unfortunately, Wright is probably not cut out to deliver action / espionage movies the way a Tony Scott (Spy Game) or a Stephen Gaghan (Syrianna) can manage. Mind you I am at no point discounting Joe Wright’s capabilities as a director. He has been up there with his movies to date. But Hanna just didn’t cut enough ice with this amateur critic. At times, it just drifted too much for my comfort. Maybe it was the exceptional slowness that got to me.

Hanna is a story of revenge. Erik Heller (Eric Bana) is a CIA operative who has defected a few years back – over a decade ago. He is betrayed / cheated by his handler Marissa Wiegler (Cate Blanchett). But if u view Marissa’s actions through the lens of the CIA, she was entrusted with a job and she got it done like any effective agent would have – ruthlessly. Nevertheless, Heller holds a grudge against Marissa not just because she tried to kill him but in the bargain also killed Eric’s wife. Heller escapes with his daughter Hanna (Saoirse Ronan) and over the years equips her with all that he has learnt during his years as an operative to be a vicious assassin. All with a single minded intent of killing Wiegler. All of this, in the jungles of Finland – how exotic I say. 17 years from Hanna’s birth, she tells her father that she is “ready” and switches on a tracker which gets the CIA to her (and not the other way round) – the mission begins.

I must say, I was a tad disappointed with Hanna – yet another case of the cover being better than the book… or in this case the trailer being far superior to the movie. The performances from all 3 lead actors were extremely good. Saoirse (pronounced SEER sha – never hurts to repeat it as often) Ronan proves yet again that she has an extremely bright future in Hollywood. I must watch The Lovely Bones sooner than later to figure out how she was in that one. But in 3 movies – Atonement, The Way Back and now Hanna – she has been very good to say the least. Cate Blanchett is and will be one of THE most versatile actresses to hit the screen. Her negative role as Wiegler was exceptional but a little below par on the Blanchett scale. Eric Bana was ice cold as always. Overall, Hanna survives more due to the performances and not as much due to the narration. I give it a 6 on 10. Worth a dekko positively but be prepared for a slow movie with some very strong moments.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi984063257/

Kung Fu Panda 2

Kung Fu Panda 2




While there are enough and many more than enough movies that make you cringe and make you kind of border on regret the option of being a minor movie critic, there are many and more that make you eagerly wait for what they term as AWESOMENESS. And you are watching the trailers that build up to the actual movie and really find it difficult to wait any longer because you are so close to the real thing that the excitement is killing you. The saving grace though is the trailer of Cars 2 that plays in between giving you that respite. But then again you are waiting for only Awesomeness to begin. And then it does. And how!!!!!

Long long ago in China (of course) – somewhere to the south east – in a place called Gongmen City, there lived the Peacock King and the Peacock Queen. They lived a completely peaceful existence and had a son Shen (Gary Oldman). Shen was a pyromaniac of sorts and started dabbling with fireworks and over a period of time had built a love for them that bordered on insanity. Like all courts in China, this one too had a Soothsayer (Michelle Yeoh) who foretold that the passion for fireworks would lead Shen to nothing but disaster at the hands of “a warrior of black and white” – rings a bell somewhere doesn’t it. And it did ring a bell in Shen’s head as well. What no one anticipated is the rampage that Shen would go on to prove the prophecy wrong. He coloured the misty white and green and blue landscape of the hills of the south in a colour that no one had imagined. He coloured it RED – The red blood of the Pandas – every single panda that he could get his hands on. He retuned with the feeling of being victorious but his parents had other ideas. Displeased and disappointed with Shen’s reaction – shell shocked was more like it – they banished Shen from Gongmen City. Shen leaves but returns 30 years later – this time with a weapon that threatens the very existence of Kung Fu in China. He takes the lives of the most prolific Kung Fu artist in China and the master of the gaurds of Gongmen City – Master Rhino (Victor Garber). He spares the lives of Master Croc (Jean Claude Van Damme) and Master Ox (Dennis Haysbert). Now, the only people who can stand in his way are the Furious Five – Tigress (Angelina Jolie), Monkey (Jackie Chan), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Viper (Lucy Liu) and Crane (David Cross). And of course there is Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) who gives his discourse on Inner Peace to the ever puzzled Dragon Warrior – Po (Jack Black).

First time director Jennifer Yuh retains the essence left by Mark Osborne & John Stevenson and gives you a wholesome entertainer. I need not say anything about the star cast coz in the spirit of KFP they are just TRULY AWESOME!!! For fans and non fans alike, KFP2 proves once again that if it is touched by SKG DreamWorks then Pixar better watch out. This one is definitely up there in the nominations for the Oscars next year. Kung Fu Panda 2 relives the magic that was created by the first edition and also leaves enough scope for its loyal fans to be excited – yes my dear Kung Fu Panda friends… there will be, soon enough a Kung Fu Panda 3!!!! This time with Po’s biological dad. As my close friend Dhammo would have said, “The excitement is KILLING me”!!!! 8 on 10 without doubt.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1639488793/