Warning 3D

The only person who could possibly answer a basic question is Gurmmeet Singh, the director of the movie.  Why was the movie called Warning? Who warned whom? Was someone supposed to warn someone else? Was I supposed to hear some sort of warning?  There was some red board with the word on it somewhere during the movie.  But other than that why not call it what it was – A SHIPWRECK!!!

Prague (Hindi 2013)

There are various ways to tell a story and it is upto the director to decide which way a story is going to be narrated.  Should I keep it simple so that the junta (general public) can understand it and appeal to the masses? Or should I make it into a complicated one that has so many layers that the audience is left to decipher the story.  Ashish R Shukla chooses the latter approach for his first full length feature.

Raqt - Ek Rishta

One reason I love blogging / writing is that it gives me an opportunity to research and thereby learn quite a bit.  Before I started writing about this particular movie, I decided to run a google search for the word R A Q T.  If you search for the meaning in Urdu then you get 2 possible options – pathetic and deplorable.  Both words can be used easily to describe the movie in question.

Local Kung Fu (Assamese)

I am a huge fan of first time directors.  Especially those who buck the system to follow their dreams.  They may stumble and stutter and fall all over themselves in an attempt to prove a point or 2 to those who called them stupid.  I am quite certain Kenny Basumatary faced the brick bats when he dropped out of IIT Delhi (yep. U heard those three alphabets right) to follow his dream – cinema. Read more about Kenny here - http://www.westlandbooks.in/author_detail.php?author_id=320

Gambit (2012)

Gambit released in the UK towards the end of 2012.  Apparently the makers didn’t think it worthwhile to release it in the US at all.  It released in India tomorrow (27^th September 2013) nearly 1 year after its UK release.  The US date is not yet fixed.  Now why would they keep an entertaining movie like Gambit away from the screens when they are fine with unleashing a whole load of other crap on us? Beats me.

Prisoners

Apparently Canada is looking forward to that annual ceremony held by AMPAS (Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences) more than anyone else.  The person responsible for this is one Denis Villeneuve.  His attempts to date haven’t been under a banner as big as that for Prisoners.  However, he has been much lauded over the years both within and outside Canada.

Elysium

District 9 was one of THE most critically acclaimed motion pictures of 2009.  It received 4 nominations including Best Motion Picture at the Academy Awards in 2010.  Why are we taking a few lines to mention District 9? Because, South African director Neill Blomkamp is back with yet another science fiction movie that may not get the best of points for story but will definitely make a mark on visual effects & editing.

Satyanweshi (Bengali)

Rituparno Ghosh was one of India’s finest film makers as per many.  To me, he was someone who made cinema that was too slow for my comfort.  Whether it was the adaptation of the The Gift of the Magi (Raincoat) or that of one of Rabindranath Tagore’s novels (Noukadubi / Kashmakash), Rituparno Ghosh ensured that the pace was never compromised – if you know what I mean.

Dabba (The Lunchbox)

Some of the most difficult reviews to write are the ones where you have just seen a movie that is so good that you cannot come to terms with its perfection.  So you get caught in the vicious trap of being on a witch hunt.  That my friends, is exactly what I got drawn into with Dabba aka The Lunch Box (for international audiences).

Phata Poster Nikhla Hero

With no offence meant to anyone or any fans or the person in question itself, the only time Shahid Kapoor can be and actor (excluding Kaminey) or at least pretend to be one is when he is playing and actor in a movie. Or should I say playing a wannabe actor whose mother, Savitri (Padmini Kolhapure) actually wants him to be a police officer - and an honest one at that. Now if that doesn't get you laughing then nothing else in Phata Poster Nikla Hero will get you to laugh.

Alik Sukh (Bengali)

The essence of Alik Sukh is captured in the title for those who are familiar with the language.  For the others (like this writer) you would need google.  Alik Sukh translates into “unreal happiness” – a concept that most of us would be familiar with, given the sedentary and work driven lifestyle that all of us lead.  The message is pointed at most of us to take a long hard look at whether we are “truly” happy or it is all just an illusion.

Malavita (The Family)

Acclaimed director Luc Besson directs Robert De Niro & Michelle Pfieffer in their first movie together - sharing screen space that is (they have acted in the same movie twice before this - Stardust and New Year's Eve - but never shared screen space). The combination of these 3 names, who otherwise have nothing to prove, unfortunately falls a bit short of my expectations. But then, maybe my expectations were ill placed to begin with.

2 Guns

It has been a while since we have seen a movie that has some mindless shooting (some accurate shooting as well) in a climax that involves blowing up $43.125 million. Hey wait a minute. We have not seen any movie that involves blowing up that kind of money. But we have seen movies that have mindless shooting towards the end in the hope that the bullets find some target or the other. Sorry for the spoiler to begin with but that to me was the high point of 2 Guns.

Rush (English 2013)

It will be quite easy to list down the things that Ron Howard did wrong with RUSH.  A full day of research after being swept away by RUSH, I could find 5 mistakes. Nothing more

1. An F1 Car doesn’t fly over a hill when it is trying to catch up especially when it is a driver as safe as Niki Lauda
2. Not sure if Hunt beat up a reporter for asking Lauda a question about his wife accepting him after half his face had burnt off
3. Nürburgring was not known as the Graveyard.  It was called Green Hell.
4. Howard has chosen not to cover the aspect that Hunt & Lauda were friends who actually stayed together when in London.
5. The penalty to Hunt for the Brands Hatch race resulting in disqualification wasn’t covered.  This was actually a very pivotal point in the season.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

I started blogging a few months after the first installment of this very average adult fantasy series.  Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief was the first in the series by Rick Riordian that was a much awarded book but an average movie.  I am told by reliable sources that the book is readable.

Grown Ups 2

This was my review for Grown Ups that released over 3 years back, almost to the date

http://kartikr.blogspot.in/2010/08/grown-ups.html.  My review for Grown Ups 2 is going to have very little different to offer because it is yet again – an Adam Sandler – Denis Dugan combination that gives you nothing different from any of their previous attempts.

JohnDay

The posters claim, “An Edge of the seat thriller from the makers of A Wednesday”.  The similarity with A Wednesday unfortunately ends with the fact that Naseeruddin Shah was part of both movies.  The premise and story of JohnDay is significantly different from that of A Wednesday.

Grand Masti

Let me starts with 10 vignettes from Indra Kumar’s latest blockbuster where the only thing cornier than the name is the movie itself. I refuse to translate them because of the trauma I will be causing my readers who are unaware of Hindi.  I cannot have their blood on my hands. Here goes

1. Nirodh ka Virodh
2. Pussy kahaan ghusi
3. Pichwada hai kya Vijayawada
4. Kahin iska joke hamein thok na de
5. Get cozy in the jacuzzi
6. Pocket mein koi rocket hai
7. Chooha mota hai par khali tera lota hai
8. Only one thing can save us from maran – Vastraharan
9. Is se pehle tumhari choote grip, we have to strip
10. Its not the spring boys. Its the thing.

You are free to interpret the context in which these lines were introduced into the script.  Grand Masti is nothing but an attempt to mash up all editions of American Pie upto the last one – American Reunion (2012).  There is little that can be called original or not slapstick.

But to be fair - let us look at what was great about the movie? It wasn’t an unnecessarily long movie – unless you consider that the movie itself was not required and could have been done away with – it finishes in under 2 hours (2.5 including the intervals).  And the other good part was that no one associated with the movie made any bones about what it is before the release – we were promised a senseless sex comedy and that’s what we got.

No matter what I say, the audience will have its final say and in this case I am reminded of a tweet from Mihir Fadnavis, “Every time someone tells me Shuddh Desi Romance is a 'boring' film I'm convinced that we deserve films like Zanjeer only. Bas goo hi khao”. (Apologies for not seeking permission Mihir – but the tweet was too apt for GM as well). I am going to avoid ripping GM to shreds because it will not matter.

The audience was not just laughing at the below standard humour.  They were jumping in their seats while splitting their sides.  I can guarantee that I was the only person who had a poker faced expression.  The only thing scarier than Grand Masti – and I mean “SCARIER” – was the trailer of WARNING before the movie. No comments on the movie or any aspect related to it from my side.  2 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L4qT6-fNzQ

Zanjeer

I am a fan of remakes and movies that are inspired from an original script.  My only expectation is that the guys who remake it add value to it and not degrade the good work done by someone – in this case, a monumental piece of work that threw in the concept of “The Angry Young Man” into Bollywood.  A piece of work that has just been smashed to smithereens by a team that obviously doesn’t understand the value of Zanjeer (1973).

Shuddh Desi Romance

They say experience teaches a man better than anything or anyone else.  Not that you need to commit your own mistakes to learn from – you can as well learn from other people’s mistakes.  I have no clue to where Maneesh Sharma got his sum total of learning.  Whether it was from his solid effort with Band Baaja Baraat or his just about par effort of Ishaqzaade.  Either ways, he seems to have learnt.  And learnt well.