Khamoshiyan (2015) (Hindi)

My best friend and I were having a drink last night and discussing today’s releases.  When I mentioned Khamoshiyan he said, “I don’t go to Vikram Bhatt movies any more because they claim to show a lot of skin but end up showing nothing”.  He was bang on in terms of his assessment much like many of us.  The unfortunate few involved in writing about cinema don’t have a choice per se.

Hawaizaada

First of all let me request Vibhu Virender Puri and of course all other directors listening – Pick a language and stick to it.  Shuttling between Hindi and Marathi turns out to be a disaster. Firstly the dialogue goes flat.  Secondly, when you have a cast that is uncomfortable with either language, it turns out to be the equivalent of several eggs on face – not just one.

Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance)

When you have Alejandro González Iñárritu directing a movie you can be rest assured that it has to be at least a little bit “hatke” (off the beaten path).  With movies like Amores Peres, 21 Grams, Babel and Biutiful under his belt Birdman (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) could not have been straightforward.  It would not have been Iñárritu.

Seventh Son

Sergey Bodrov is not a very famous director.  He has been around for a while actually.  Over 40 years since his first short film and about 15 full length features with some documentaries thrown in, Bodrov finally gets his first truly big banner kind of movie with Seventh Son

Foxcatcher

Steve Carell in a role that is not comic and over the top would be perceived by most people as laughable for sure.  But believe me when I say this – Steve Carell as John Eleuthère du Pont will be spoken about for time immemorial.  It is a stroke of casting brilliance and Carell grabs the opportunity with everything that he possibly can.

Mortdecai

Kyril Bonfiglioli was an English art-dealer, actor, science fiction editor, champion swordsman, and comic novelist. He is the author of what is apparently a famous series with a lead character called Charlie Mortdecai (Johnny Depp) was supposedly eccentric and witty.  The novels that attained cult status were loaded with dry satire and black humour – Wikipedia.

Dolly Ki Doli

It is always pleasantly surprising to walk into a movie that you didn’t expect to be even remotely watchable and it turns out to be just that a little better for you to walk out satisfied.  Although I will not allow it to affect my overall rating, DOLLY KI DOLI, falls into this category and was a good start to my Thursday.

Baby (Hindi) (2015)

One day…. Maybe someday soon, we will see a refreshing and reassuring Bollywood Espionage movie that is action packed from start to finish.  Stuff that most of our aspirations are made of right? Well fasten your seatbelts and get ready for a ride that has been most strangely named BABY.

Imitation Game

The toughest movies to review are those that leave you enamoured.  I saw Imitation Game last Saturday and over the past 6 days I have been thinking about whether I was blown away by the person called Alan Turing or the actor called Benedict Cumberbatch or was it the story and the narrative that eventually turned into an end product called The Imitation Game.

Paddington

The first kiddie movie of 2015 is here and it draws itself from a 1997 series of children’s books called “The Adventures of Paddington Bear”.  It was probably only a matter of time before the little bear from Darkest Peru found its way to the silver screen.

Sharafat Gayi Tel Lene

The biggest challenge in watching Sharafat Gayi Tel Lene begins from frame one. That challenge goes by the name of Zayed Khan - the second worst actor in the world (the worst would be Fardeen Khan). Thankfully the trailers prepare you for this challenge and it doesn't come as an unpleasant surprise. Thank God for small mercies.

Alone (2015) (Hindi)

"Kabeer ke Bina birthday cake nahin kaatungi" says Sanjana (Bipasha Basu) at her surprise birthday party organised by Kabeer (Karan Singh Grover) himself but in absentia. Her friend says, "Kaun kiss se zyada pyaa karta hai pata nahin". (we don't know who loves the other more). That's the story for the rest of the world.  But at home Sanjana doesn't want anything to come between her and Kabeer and is mighty cheesed about His hard working and social ways.

Crazy Cukkad Family

Ritesh Menon's debut full length feature film is about the super eccentric Beri family. The patriarch Shri Beri (Yusuf Hussain) doesn't have much of an opinion about his children. Not that they have done anything noteworthy but Shri Beri doesn't leave any stone unturned when it comes to rubbing their face onto the ground. He uses the choicest of sardonic language available at his disposal to make them feel like scum of the earth.

American Sniper

From frame one American Sniper screams Clint Eastwood.  With his last 2 movies being well below par (J Edgar and Hereafter – and I mean as a director), an ageing Eastwood probably desperately needed a movie that could have a shot at Uncle Oscar.  With American Sniper he gives himself 6 nominations and a truly deserving one for Best Picture.

The Theory of Everything

In the recent past, most of you would have heard or experience something to do with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS) thanks to the Ice Bucket Challenge.  Also, many of you would have heard of Stephen W Hawking purely thanks to references in The Big Bang Theory.  Sadly, few of us have read A Brief History of Time or have followed one the most brilliant minds of our time – I hope I am wrong.

I (Tamil) (2015)

To the average Bollywood movie goer, the passion and crowd support associated with Tamil cinema will be alien to say the least.  How can one explain a sell-out crowd for the 1030 am show at PVR Mulund of all places? Us “Madrasi” fellows follow cinema and our heroes with a passion that only Bhai’s followers can think of matching and even they will fall short because Bhai has a following in Chennai which is higher than Mumbai.

Nevertheless, larger than life director Shankar’s latest Pongal venture is titled “I”.  Why? For that you will have to sustain 3 hrs and 10 minutes of Madras Mirch Masala which the average Bollywood fan may compare to climbing Mt. Everest.  Imagine the plight of us amateur critics who believe that they know enough about cinema to write about it.

I is the story of Lingesan (Chiyaan Vikram) who is a body builder.  He is enamoured by a certain model called Diya (Amy Jackson) who, surprisingly makes a ton of money out of modelling assignments.  Not that she is an actress and endorses products.  She is just a pretty face with a hot bod who has Softy Ice-cream, Bru, Stayfree and Nature Power Soap as some of the brands in her portfolio.

Lingesan is all but in love with Diya and even buys all the products she models for – yes, including Stayfree.  When our hero wins the Mr. Tamil Nadu he gets an opportunity to meet our heroine and before you know it gets catapulted into the big bad world of modelling for high end products.  It involves shooting in exotic provinces in China where a certain flower blooms only in September.

Along the way, Lingesan becomes Lee and also love (read louv) happens – first as make believe to help Lee get comfortable in front of the camera and then actual louv happens.  Of course success does not come without rubbing some people the wrong way who eventually believe that they have had enough and something has to be done about Lee.

Like most Tamil movies with Shankar, I is extremely over the top on almost all counts.  Amy Jackson’s incapability to act is compensated through efforts such as a liberal focus on her assets.  Gimmicks like morphing her into a phone with the call buttons on her breasts do little to help.

Refer link for actual view J (http://content.bollywoodhungama.com/movie/display%20image/300x275%20jpeg/97151571.jpg).  The morphing moves forward with a Royal Enfield, sprouts, fish, a dhobi ghat and of course weights.

There are 3 major fight sequences.  One that involves BMX bicycles over rooftops in China.  Another with Lee’s hands tied behind his back.  But the piece de resistance has to be the first one in a gymnasium before Lee goes onto become Mr. Tamil Nadu.  That has Lingesan fighting the baddie body builders lathered in oil and in nothing but body builder underwear – if you are into that kind of fetish then it is probably a wet dream come true.

Besides the liberal presence of brands from Sunfeast Dark Fantasy to 3 roses tea and of course an entire song titled “i” perfume made in vanilla, I the movie is not short on everything that stands for Tamil cinema.  A transvestite, body builders flexing their moobs (man boobs), an ode to Beauty and the Beast, some great make-up – everything!!!

But the high point or 2 high points have to be mentioned.  One that involves replacing weights with human beings on a 7 foot barbell and performing a lift.  But nothing could probably beat tying your shoe laces by deftly flicking your feet in a manner that only Chiyaan Vikram could.  Simply sensational.  5 on 10 in terms of quality but even 10 would be insufficient to rate the antics that make this movie. Simply awesome.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3484134937/?ref_=tt_ov_vi

Tevar

Tevariffic is what the campaign building up to the movie said.  A nice play on words and a decent campaign leading up to a decent movie.  But barely there.  If there was any way to pay tribute to Bollywood to begin a fresh year, Tevar is exactly the way it should be.  Music, Masala, Action, Drama – almost everything that you could expect from B-town and all reasonably packaged.

Taken 3

Every franchise has a particular life span.  A lot of it is dependent on consistency.  But a significant factor of longevity is also, "What is different this time around"? Taken 3 scores low on both counts.  The similarity ends with the characters from the Paris and Istanbul editions.

There is a significant departure from the basic premise. It is not a story of someone being kidnapped OR Taken to begin with. So it may as well have been called by another name like Non-Stop or Unknown or A Walk Among Tombstones. It is a genre of movies that has been formed over the past 5-6 years.  It is a genre called Liam Neeson.

The third and final installment (as the posters proclaim) finishes as a meek attempt to squeeze everything possible from the audience that had lapped up the earlier editions of this franchise.  Regrettably they do not get the formula right and have given it a less than memorable send off (provided they do not go back on their word).

Taken 3 gets off the blocks very slowly with Bryan Mills (Neeson) bringing a giant panda 🐼 as a birthday gift for his daughter Kim (Maggie Grace). The Hindi music in the background seemed as out of place as the panda itself. Bryan's hope of surprising his daughter falls flat. He finds a shoulder in his ex-wife Lenore (Famke Jenssen) who is having some trouble with her marriage to Stuart St. John (Dougaray Scott).

In fact, Stuart goes onto ask Bryan to not speak to Lenore any more. Bryan obliges only to receive a message from Lenore the next morning to meet over bagels. The good ex-husband that Bryan is, he walks across to pick bagels only to return to Lenore's cold body with a slit throat. The chase then begins.

The slow build up is compensated with some great chases soon after. First on foot with some exhibition of Parkour thrown in for garnish (it has become mandatory these days).  It then moves onto a frenetic car chase on the freeway which is in typical Taken fashion.  But that’s all you will get to keep you happy.

There are some classy dialogues in between that keep the audience entertained.  Liam Neeson excels in the dialogue delivery but does look a tad jaded and probably bored of reprising the same role over and over again.  The support cast is as good as furniture.  Really nothing exciting in the acting department per se.

Oliver Megaton has great action flicks to his credit like Transporter 3, Colombiana and even Taken 2.  But even with such solid backing behind him, Megaton struggles to put up a respectable showing with Taken 3.  I think the franchise had just run out of steam.  Watchable on TV.  5 on 10.  Disappointing end to the series.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2340859673/?ref_=tt_ov_vi

The Woman in Black 2: Angel of Death

The Woman in Black (2012) starring Daniel Radcliffe wasn’t something that made you feel creepy.  It was scary in bits and parts but nowhere close to what horror freaks and fanatics are used to, or demand these days.  The Woman in Black 2 : Angel of Death, is no different.

Big Eyes

My first preview for 2015 was a movie that released last year in the US.  I had in fact asked a question about this movie at the Entertainment Quiz @ Oasis 2014, BITS Pilani around 2 months back. I must admit that I had no idea who Keane was till I researched stuff for my question – such is the importance given to art and artists out here.  Sad but true.