Fifty Shades of Grey

The trailer on imdb (http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2636688921/?ref_=tt_ov_vi) very proudly proclaims

1. Books Sold – 100 million
2. Trailer Views – 250 million
3. Fantasies Provoked – Countless
4. Are You Curious?

Very honestly, to me, that sounds like a cheap rip-off of a Master Card advertisement and not the best lines to be used for a movie that is a goulash of tastefully but half heartedly shot pornography and a Mills and Boons book from the previous century.  Add some edge to it with some 21^st century camera work and you have Fifty Shades of Grey.

For those who haven’t read the book (like this author), I am not sure if it matters or not.  I did start reading it last night (a day before the release) but sleep got the better of me by the end of chapter 1.  The first few minutes of the movie stay true to that chapter and if I were to extrapolate that to the rest of the movie then I am not terribly excited about reading it anyways.

Probably the most anticipated movie of 2015 turns out to be more of a wet blanket. It drifts across a variety of sex scenes interspersed with some romantic moments and ends a bit too abruptly for my taste.  Needless to say, rights for the entire trilogy have been purchased and audiences have to be driven back into theatres to watch the next two parts.  I doubt that plan succeeded.

Lovers of erotica will also be disappointed.  I do believe that the version played in Australia was uncut and while most of the scenes were well shot, one really doesn’t understand the purpose or story behind it all.  I can only assume that the next two parts will divulge the deep dark story of Mr. Grey and his dominatrix tendencies.  For now, a Mrs. Robinson kind of story has been referred to in passing.

Fifty Shades seems to be the result of inexperience and I mean that with respect to cinema.  Dakota Johnson hasn’t had any massive lead roles to date.  Ditto for Jamie Dornan and director Sam Taylor-Johnson.  While the movie is fast paced and doesn’t stall midway or put you to sleep, there seems to be little or no agenda.

In summary – it sold a 100 million books so lets try and maximize the revenues sooner than later.  Get two fine specimens on humanity together on screen.  Ensure that they are respectable actors.  Put some of the erotic scenes from the book into the movie so that the audiences have their share of excitement.  The cash registers should sound like music to the ears.  5 on 10. Downloadable for a one time watch.

Watch the trailer on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfZWFDs0LxA