Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster

I think here is a movie that turns out to be a slight disappointment simply because of the sheer expectation that was built up before I managed to see it last week. It released right at the beginning of a 2 week movie drought for this writer. One of those periods which I dread because the choice that I need to make is between sleeping for 6 hours v/s 3 hours and the body is just not capable of handling those long long days without sleep. All courtesy that magic four letter word – WORK (what was your dirty mind thinking). But during those days, I was probably the only person at work who had not seen Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster. And the rave reviews of the movie only aided in getting my expectations to a high. Therefore when I walked into the movie hall, I was expecting a 6 on 10 at least, if not a 7 on 10. Ergo the disappointment of getting a movie which was probably a 5 on 10 to be absolutely fair.
Tigmanshu Dhulia’s debut as director was the Jimmy Shergill movie Haasil which, I was given to understand, was an extremely intense movie and a welcome change for Jimmy Shergill who had till then been labeled as a chocolate boy hero thanks to his mushy roles in the likes of Mohabbatein. Something that I have personally held against him all this while – Jimmy Shergill that is. Nevertheless, coming back to Dhulia’s capability to direct a motion picture – lets be fair and call it solid. He could definitely use some more effort in paying close attention to the final product along with the editing team to cut certain parts which got this movie into drift mode more times than I was comfortable. You could catch yourself just about drifting off at least a couple of times in the movie. I personally felt that he could have done with about 15 minutes off.

His capability to get the actors to emote on screen doesn’t seem to be questionable from what I saw in SBG. I have always felt that Mahie Gill was a one movie wonder and she did show signs of the commitment behind Paro, that got her fame and credibility in the first place. I guess the credit here goes to Dhulia. And I would say the same of Jimmy Shergill and surprise surprise – Randeep Hooda who for my money’s worth was the pick of the cast. Where were you all this time Hooda Saheb??? Release the true Hooda and his capabilities out more often I say. The only wasted opportunity by any of the cast would have been Shweta Narayan who could have done so much better with her small but pivotal role but I guess Dhulia could not get her to come up with the goods. The cinematography was again solid. And that’s what the movie was I guess – at the risk of repeating myself – SOLID. Nothing more. Nothing less. 5 on 10. Watch it. Doesn’t matter if it is on cable. Worth a dekko.

Trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MpB95_ArXA

RA One

I had passed judgement on RA. One after seeing the first trailer itself. It looked so much like Tron Legacy that I was completely turned off with the idea of RA.One. You could argue with me that I get too biased too soon but my regular readers would agree with me that of late, I have tried my very best, not to be biased at all – and successfully at that. I was in fact hoping and praying for a good movie to begin an otherwise dull Diwali day. However, it was not meant to be. Approximately 100 seconds into the movie, when you come across the characters of Lucifer and Desi Girl (Priyanka Chopra), you do check if you are in the right movie hall. And then the corniest characters of all come in – Bruce Lee’s sisters i.e. Iski Lee, Uski Lee and Sabki Lee and you are left, yet again praying that it is just a bad start to an otherwise good movie. But the final nail on the coffin is drilled about 2 minutes later when the Khalnayak i.e. Villain (Sanjay Dutt) says, “Abhi Spiderman ko maarke aaya hoon – Baygon Spray se”.

About 140 minutes later (if you survive that long), you are left with teeth that have almost been chewed and hair that is disheveled to say the least. You have just been subjected to the latest method of torture (cannot venture to comment on the country of origin because I have yet to discover the same) – movies designed for the IQ of a 2 year old. It progressively reduces itself over time to the IQ of a 1 year old over the period as defined 2 sentences back. Not surprising therefore that the cricket team of kids to my right had a blast. I can assure you that us adults would not get what the hullabaloo is all about. The guy at the snacks counter did mention to me, “Bachchon ki film hai sir” (It’s a movie meant for kids.

Anubhav Sinha is not best known for producing block buster movies as such but Cash and Tathasthu weren’t really atrocious if you know what I mean. They were slickly made and had reasonable consistency. At least they didn’t show Karwa Chauth before Dushera… duh!!!! Come on Mr. Sinha you could have at least sequenced your movie well. And lets not go down the direction track because poor Anubhav seems to have lost whatever basic capabilities he had in this department.

One cannot expect much in the acting department when King Khan is sharing screen space with the appallingly irritable Kareena Kapoor – some may argue that she looks heavenly in the movie but I can assure you that the only angels you will find in the movie are those which are referred to in a couple of sentences. Newbie child artiste – Armaan Verma looks more like a girl than a boy throughout the movie. I mean whats with his hair yaar??? And girls who thought would get a glimpse of the chiseled Arjun Rampal would be disappointed with his 4 minutes and 38.5 seconds on screen in the role of Pi / 2 aka Ra.One. Shahana Goswami is much too talented to be wasted on movies like these. Please to be reconsidering your choices in future.

Overdoing the Tamil angle also didn’t quite go well with my roots. And whats with “Paityakaran (Mad Man)” playing continuously in the background for about 10 mins after the movie started. The only Tamil angle and probably the only good part of the movie was the 30 seconds that the one and only superstar of today made his presence felt. As the joke goes, Shah Rukh made a 2.5 hour special appearance in the movie that was led by Thalaivar. Rajani just dazzles in the role of Chitti.

Discouraging you from watching RA One will fall on deaf years because it is destined to beat Bodyguard in terms of first week collections. But try to avoid it. Its no more than a 3 on 10 and that too for some good special effects and of course the track that is going to be around for a while – Chammak Challo

Oh yes and as I had tweeted – taking inspiration from Tron or Hancock or Iron Man or Terminator is definitely acceptable. But doing the same from “You Don’t mess with the Zohan”???? What??? Zohan??? Come on Anubhav Sinha – what in the blazes were you thinking.

Sorry about the longish review. An extremely frustrated viewer here as you can see.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi1860607513/

Whats Your Number?

How many men does a woman have to be with (read sleep with) before she finds the “right” man. Quite a sacrilegious question to ask of an average every day woman in this part of the world right? Even if the number was hovering towards double digits, it would be the best kept secret in the world I guess. As the number increases, it isn’t a matter of pride – and that would probably be embarrassing anywhere in the world. Most of us would be thrilled to cross 5? Or is the number 9 a good one to target? Or is a double digit goal realistic. I can speak for all men when I say that the higher the number, the better it is for our self esteem . But for women – What’s your number?
With Ally Darling (yep that’s her family name) played by the absolute version of the girl next door – sweet, funny, pretty, charming – Anna Faris, the number has touched 19 and will soon be hitting 20. The magic number when the chances of getting a husband reduces to almost zero. A number which is almost twice the national average. Awww!!!! Such a slut right? Not really - just plain unlucky and gullible would be the words that come to mind when you look at her. Just fired from a job that doesn’t really interest her - marketing (sigh). She has to quickly find herself a person who fits the bill and isn’t like the stud boy next door, Colin Shea (Chris Evans) whose mantra in life is to find a girl each day of the week – with looks like his, he doesn’t find the matter challenging in any aspect. He just picks them up like a lizard would pick flies off the wall. What would any man out there to have this rarest of rare talents. But since Anna has crossed the magic figure of 20, and a chance instance of bumping into an ex boyfriend gets her thinking – what if one of my ex boy friends have become successful. It may be well worth it to investigate and find someone who would get suckered right back in. And who can help with this – If you didn’t guess Colin then I suggest an immediate brain scan to figure out if there are any grey cells there which are working. The rest of the story is extremely predictable and I will leave it to you to find out.

WYN is an average everyday Romantic Comedy or Chick Flick. For those who have been following me – you know that I am a sucker for the genre. Especially the ones which are super predictable. With WYN you can actually call out the dialogues that would come in next. To me, it was a wonderful way to start the weekend. Women will love the movie for sure. The men can ogle at some of the hotter babes which make passing appearances coz Anna Faris is not exactly letch material right? The screenplay is quite decent with some good one liners thrown in for good measure. Watch it only if you like the genre. Plus it is very long. Nearly 2 hours. At one time I was wondering if it will ever end. But entertaining nevertheless. 6 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2886245657/

The Three Musketeers

Just last week I was watching Alexander Dumas’ Count of Monte Cristo – the movie. One of the movie channels. I think it was Zee Studio if I am not mistaken. Probably the only adaptation of the classic to date. It has so much potential to be an absolute pot boiler even today and I wonder why no one has gone for it once again. But The Three Musketeers has been attempted thrice. First in 1973. Then in 1993 which featured the cult classic by those 3 rock stars – Sting, Rod Stewart & Bryan Adams – All for Love. And the 3rd one released yesterday. Wonder why they did not keep up with the 20 year window and released this one in just 18 years. The ’73 and the ’93 versions were exact adaptations of the classic. The 2011 version has just that little bit of spice and slickness that is expected of a modern day adaptation.
And it has a cast that is – how do I put it – adventurous. Milla Jovovich is the hottest and I repeat THE HOTTEST ACTION WOMAN to ever have hit the silver screen. One may argue that it is Angelina Jolie but I guess Jolie is more versatile that Jovovich. Jovovich sticks to what she knows best – Action, Action and more Action. Her portrayal of Milady DeWinter – one of the most gorgeous and scheming villains of all time – is filled with all the elements that would scream out “JOVOVICH! JOVOVICH!! JOVOVICH!!!” And Mila does full justice to the role. Along with a not so great attempt at being a villain from chocolate boy Orlando Bloom as the Duke of Buckingham. And a an effortless portrayal of the sinister Cardinal Richlieu by the super talented Christoph Waltz ensures that The Three Musketeers is a movie to be watched for the villains and not the heroes by far. The lead roles of the fabulous four French fencers (now that’s an alliteration) is played by Matthew Macfadyen as the lover boy Arthos, Ray Stevenson as the brute Porthos, Luke Evans as the pious Aramis and Logan Lerman as the enthusiastic D’Artagnan. Not sure if it was the best possible cast.

This version kind of disappoints you with the final product which seems to have experimented with a truck load of action and loads of special effects. Now I am perfectly fine with the slick action sequences and they only add a lot of character to the movie. I am however, not able to point a finger on a particular aspect that seemed to have let me down. It was just average across the board and great in no aspect. If I can think of one aspect, it would probably be the acting and the fact that a bunch of French Musketeers sound like British Agents. Milla Jovovich fans are in line for some stunning sequences with the gorgeous heroine… oops villain. But overall disappointing. 6 on 10 at best. Paul Anderson does a better job with Resident Evil.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1451924505/

My Friend Pinto

The Assistant Director of Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na and Guru has definitely learnt something from his experiences but he still has a long way to go as can be seen with his directorial debut with My Friend Pinto. That UTV and SLB have both backed this new fellow on the block would seem to indicate that he has some talent. And it does show up in bits and pieces in what is largely a comedy of errors and multiple story lines that will confuse the hell out of even an avid movie watcher. Raaghav Dar, in his attempt to create a dark comedy of sorts lands up creating a goulash of silly sequences barely holding on to each other. All of this woven into a story line that is trying to tell you that one of the most amazing relationships in life are with your closest friends and one must value it to the hilt. Dear Mr. Dar – we are all aware of this and appreciate your effort to try and remind us of the same. But you surely picked up one convoluted way to communicate it. The good news though is that there is definite potential and with just a little bit of hard work and dedication (blah blah blah), you will find yourself on greener pastures.
I have always described Prateik (who has chosen to drop the Babbar from his name to avoid embarrassment I am sure) as a sincere, yet inadequate actor. He seems to have picked up most of his acting genes from papa and not from mama (which could also be one more reason to drop Babbar). With MFP he does nothing much to redeem himself or take it one notch higher in my books at least. The attempt to play the innocent village boy from Goa, Michael Pinto, falls pretty flat. The exceptionally talented cast of Kalki Koechlin, Divya Dutta, Rajendranath Zutshi and Makrand Deshpande seem to find themselves in a fair bit of trouble. Quite certainly, the script did not match their expectation. I think they have been wasted throughout the movie. While I was aware that Mak Deshpande had already lost it and Divya Dutta has never been done justice in Bollywood despite her exceptional talent, I would have hoped that Raj Zutshi and Koechlin sign up for roles that demand the intensity that one has come to expect of them.

Somewhere along the way – I would guess about 15 minutes into the movie – you are actually left wondering about the number of story lines that have cropped up. You would have to be really engrossed into the movie to keep in touch with every single thing that is happening – because there is just so much going on. And the humour is silly at best for most of the time. The music from Ajay Atul is borrowed – especially the last track (from The Mask). The interesting part was the start credits which did not call out a single member of the cast. Very different. And of course there is Kalki when she smiles who looks stunning to say the least. Overall a watchable movie but I am going to drop my rating from a 5 on 10 to a 4.5 on 10. Didn’t stay with me. MFK is a tad better watch for the weekend.

Trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-KEteB1u38

Mujhse Fraandship Karoge

I was forewarned and therefore forearmed when I gathered all my courage to attempt the 2045 show of Mujhse Fraandship Karoge last evening. As I walked into the screen, I also incorrectly messaged a friend of mine - the problems with too much technology - and all he could say is "Vijayi Bhava"!!! And the measures to generate confidence were not gaining any momentum when another friend was nice enough to actually call out Fraandship as more promising than my next movie of the day - The 3 Musketeers. I thought that she had lost it. Talk about ill placed expectations. This was at 6:30 pm last evening. By 1 am this morning when I walked out of PVR Mulund after 3 movies (the 2nd of which was MFK) I was actually wondering to myself that Madam Preyoshi was actually correct. MFK turned out to be a movie that I would rate at par with 3 musketeers. Talk about twists of fate. Or should you call it plain and solid movie making but a whole bunch of newbies.

MFK marks the debut of quite a few people in Bollywood. Nupur Ashtana to begin with seems to be an average but refreshing director. She will make it in the world of RomComs / Chick Flicks / High School Romances and probably nothing else. She only had a couple of TV serials to show off with as of now but MFK will catapult her into the big league. At least for a brief period. The other person is someone who I have always liked for his definitive brand of folk rock and haven’t missed out an opportunity to promote within my friends circle – Raghu Dixit. This time isn’t going to be much different. Although quite a few tracks mark a significant departure from a genre of music that you would directly associate with him, there is at least a tinge of – if not a spoon of – Raghu Dixit in almost every number. Catchy tunes which will linger around for sometime to come.

Other than the director and the music director, the 2 male leads – Nishant Dahiya (I am surprised he choose to go with this as his screen name – tip my hat for courage and self belief) & Saqib Salim were the debutantes in the acting department. I must say both showed a sense of confidence and ability that you have come to associate with the generation of today. They may be the generation of which people say, “Ek Zamaana tha jab log teacher se ya apne parents se chhup ke pyaar karte thay. Aaj Kal Log ek doosre se chhup ke se pyaar karte hain – facebook pe” (there was a time when you would keep your love story hidden from parents, teachers etc. These days people keep their love stories hidden from each other – on facebook). The female leads are both in their 2nd movie. Saba Azad played a role in Dil Kabaddi some 3 years back. The sizzling Tara D’Souza played the hottie british girlfriend in Mere Brother Ki Dulhan some 3 weeks back.

Mita Vashisht in her insignificant role rounds up the acting department in this RomCom where 2 people pretend to be each other’s hot best friends. They hate each other in the real world like nothing else. But they love each other on FB. To find out what happens in this rather predictable High School / College romance which has loads of consistency errors but is rather refreshing and fast paced overall, you would need to visit the Haribhai Ramniklal Mehta College or HRMC as it is called in Mumbai which is the background of the surprisingly good Mujhse Fraandship Karoge. I give this a 5 on 10 for sure. Very Watchable. Very tweeny bopper. Very Pyaar Ka Punchnama types. Yenjoy Karo!!!

Trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iJMKeXigSUs

The Zookeeper

Not sure how many of you like Kevin James but every time I see him, I am reminded of The King of Queens. I am also encouraged and immensely thrilled at the end of a not so believable movie or an even more unbelievable episode of any serial that he is part of. Now how else do you think us wide at the centre folks would generate any hope of finding the woman of our dreams and all that crap that people keep giving us stories about . So we generate inspiration in a manner of speaking from watching the likes of Kevin James making a complete and utter fool of himself in front of hotties such as Leslie Bibb who in her right sense of mind would not have given a second glance to the likes of a James but then this is Hollywood and this is the movies. They are meant to show the impossible to provide us with – as I mentioned earlier – LARGE DOSES OF HOPE.

And as if the ego boosters and the hope were not sufficient with one girl in the frame, director Frank Coraci gets in the angle of a second woman played by Rosario Dawson – who I must say was a complete revelation. I haven’t seen her look as good as she did half way down The Zookeeper. Enough to make me change my priorities from wanting to get back my ex-girlfriend of 5 years back who dumped me on a beach when I proposed to her saying, “I don’t think I want to be with a Zookeeper for the rest of my life”. Now why would one go back to exactly the same girl? But unfortunately, it is the truth as I see so often around me. What is it that they say about the known devil? So anyways, our hero is suckered into the known devil and doesn’t notice the absolute goddess that is standing right in front of him with her arms open because she doesn’t look like much of goddess when she is playing the vet in the zoo right (Sigh!!! Men with always be men). All of this after the animals in the zoo decide to gang up and teach him how to attract the female of the species in their own animalistic manner. Cute eh? Not really. Starts getting on your nerves after a bit.

Zookeeper is a weak comedy and if that wasn’t enough, it is also slapstick. There is nothing much to write home about the direction, acting, screenplay, editing or whatever it is that makes a good movie. It is an all out average movie with all the departments coming up only to a base level score of 4 on 10. Some sequences of the animals talking are reasonably shot but that’s about it. Really nothing to look forward to. 4 on 10 as declared a couple of lines back. Easy to give a miss.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi593927449/

Abduction

Nathan (Taylor Lautner) is a rugged looking character and Karen (Lily Collins) is a pretty looking girl. They are both in high school and have been next door neighbours for quite sometime now. The chemistry between them is thick enough to be cut by a knife for certain (or so the makers would like us to believe). But an incident during their growing up years has left some kind of a soreness between the two. Karen continues to speak to Nathan only on a need basis and vice versa. Nathan on the other hand keeps harbouring hopes that one day, he will be able to muster up the courage to ask Karen out once again and re-kindle their relationship in a manner of speaking. Nathan’s friends keep egging him to do this but our hero doesn’t quite have it in him. Oh the magic of being in high-school…. Hey now wait a minute… why the hell am I making this into a mushy high-school romance when Abduction is actually an above average flick with loads of action sequences and especially the peppy chases which add to the drama – cant call it edge of the seat drama but it is entertaining nevertheless.

Taylor Lautner is going to be or already is quite a hit with the girls – that I am quite certain of. What with his boyish yet chiseled looks and to make matters even better for the women – he can fight like few others… at least when it comes upto mixed martial arts. Would be interesting to check up his history. And he is a decent actor also. Nowhere close to good as of now but decent. Will not make it to the level of serious actors but that’s what most of us said of Leo DiCaprio when he started. So Mr. Lautner – I guess u have some hope. However, I would, in the interest of your career strongly advise you to avoid screen space with the likes of Alfred Molina and Sigourney Weaver. More importantly the former because he can make you look like you are the scum of the earth. Will someone tell me what Alfred Molina cannot do? Is there a more versatile actor that has been born to date – I am completely amazed at his talent. Whether it is the frustrated pastor in Chocolat or the CIA agent in this movie, it is simply amazing to see what this person can achieve – despite this being one of his weakest roles to date.

Abduction could have done with some consistent tempo instead of the movement from the mushy romantic to the non-stop action (which is what confused me in the first paragraph ). The movie slows down at times to almost a drawl!!! And then speeds upto frenetic action and then turns mushy like nothing else and then back to drawl and then back to frenzied action. A bit difficult to keep up. John Singleton to look into the matter for future reference I say. As such quite entertaining and definitely worth watching once. Overall a 6 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3861355545/

Johnny English Reborn

There are a variety of genres of humour in the world. One such brand which I typically avoid like the plague is the one dished out by Rowan Atkinson in Mr. Bean. Although I believed the genre called “Johnny English” was far more tolerable as compared to Mr. Bean – based on my previous experience. Let me at this stage clarify that I am not a Johnny English fan either. It is only my love for movies and the fact that I have made reviews my passion that dragged me to the screen. And did I mention the lack of any other option which had the same convenience of timing when you have the option of running a triple header from 7 pm to 1 pm. The one in between was Johnny English Reborn and I just went with the flow. With what followed, I was actually pleasantly surprised and pleased. Sometimes one gets lucky I guess.

Rowan Atkinson continues with his bungling ways in the sequel but over a period of time, I guess these bungling ways seem quite endearing – or should I say, these bungling ways have evolved to make themselves endearing and a bit funny to the avid movie goer. Johnny boy is called back from exile by his boss played by Gillian Anderson to get to bottom some fishy business. The agent from MI7 is quick to report on duty and heads off to Japan where he discovers the involvement of the secret group called Vortex which is planning to kill the Chinese Premiere during his talks with the British Prime Minister. Vortex is a lethal combination of 3 secret agents – one each from the KGB, CIA and MI7. Will Johnny manage to get to the bottom of all this and manage to redeem himself of what happened in Mozambique (or was it Mauritius) 8 years back. Only time will tell the story. If you are able to sustain the Johnny English brand of comedy that is.

Now don’t get misled by the last statement. JER is a much better made movie that the first one that released in 2003 which I believe I saw in Sterling Cinema when it wasn’t a multiplex. The humour has distinctly improved to stuff that is more classic British humour. Add to that a touch of Bond and the class of the humour is distinctly superior to previous Mr. Bean attempts – more often than not… so don’t get ahead of yourself and assume that you will find nothing wrong at all. Quite a few gaffes actually but you would lose them because of the looks of one Rosamund Pike – who would actually qalify as probably the only perso in the world who has now acted n both an original Bond movie and its spoof. Interesting piece of trivia to close out the review of a 5 on 10 movie. That’s all I can give JER. Sorry for misleading you to believe that it was better.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi293772313/