Talaash

Nearly 2 years since Aamir Khan’s last movie. January 2011 to be precise with Dhobi Ghat aka Mumbai Diaries. So it wasn’t too surprising to see that the paid preview shows @ Cinemax Versova were kept as the world’s best secret. Or is it just me? That I was too lazy to actually look it up is probably the reason I missed out on a show on the 0th day . Made a mental note to myself to ensure that I am more active (fat chance)

Honestly I have been cautiously optimistic about Talaash since the first trailer. This weird feeling that told me that whatever exciting was present in the movie has already been put into the trailer has been hounding me for a bit. Thank God it doesn’t fall under that genre and Reema Kagti has not really followed on the footsteps of her best friend – Zoya Akhtar. Also quite certain that Reema credited Zoya with the story along with herself because of the friendship and nothing else.

Talaash follows the life of Surjan Singh Shekhawat (Aamir Khan) aka Sury (imagine being called Surjan your entire life =))) who is married to Roshni (Rani Mukerji). He is a Senior Inspector who is in charge of an area in Mumbai where the ill fated Sea Face Road lies. A few accidents have occurred over the past few years which have been unsolved. And on a fateful day, a well known Bollywood star – Armaan Kapoor (Vivan Bhatena) decides the take the aerial route into the Arabian Sea. Sury is called to investigate.

Along the way, Sury’s back story comes to life that involves a fateful accident where he loses his first born 8 year old. Roshni is to date recovering from it. Sury finds his work as a release out of it. A part of the story that need not have been stretched to the extent that it eventually has been honestly. And as he goes about digging dirt, he bumps into Rosy (Kareena Kapoor) who starts helping him out by dropping clues. All of them, at times when Sury has all but given hope of solving the case.

While I have made light of the story for purposes of easier reading, Talaash is a very intense story directed by someone who is only 1 movie old but has a long way to go in Indian Cinema. Reema Kagti gave me a few reasons to dislike Talaash. The stretched back story of Sury and Roshni’s son & the séance (planchet) scenes with Frenny (Shernaz Patel) were over the top. Kagti could have also cut a bit on Rani’s midriff and her impeccably manicured nails – especially when everything else about the look of Rani was that of a distraught housewife and was done well.

Talaash does get a tad predictable in several places but on the whole Kagti manages to hold the suspense thriller well enough for over 2 hours. The seasoned movie goes will take about 10 minutes to figure out the bad guy and about an hour to figure out the suspense element.

As regards the acting on display, Rani has very little to do. Aamir, as always has a commanding presence on screen despite his limited repertoire of 5 expressions. Nawazzuddin Siddiqui is brilliant as always. And for some reason, Kareena’s best performances come in the role of a prostitute (Chameli I hear was her last best one). The support cast holds its own. Ram Sampath’s music is perfect for the movie. This one should have been a Diwali release. 7.5 on 10. Very close to GoW but not as good is my final verdict.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi860529689/

Life of Pi

Always a good idea to read the book before you see a movie. Especially if it is a well known adaptation. I read very little of Life of Pi (honestly due to my own sloth) since the night before. So I have no clue to if David Magee (Finding Neverland) has cut a few important parts from the final rendition of Yann Martel’s best seller. But from what I hear, the ones that were required were retained. And retained well at that.

Ang Lee has always been one to pick movies that are painstakingly painted. At the expense of being horribly slow. Life of Pi is actually fast as compared to most of his previous ventures – almost like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (both in terms of pace as well as special effects).

Life of Pi has its stunning moments which can come to life only on the big screen. The flying fish in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the bright Jelly Fish in the middle of the night with the Blue Whale deciding to rocket through, the carnivorous island that turns neon green at night or the scenes of Richard Parker roaring to define his territory like a Royal Bengal Tiger would. While I saw it in 2D in a random theatre in Goa, I am quite certain, the 3D version would be brilliant.

But all of this comes at the expense of a lot of factors. To begin with, there is very little acting on display. The entire cast except Suraj Sharma has very little time on screen. Irrfan Khan, Rafe Spall, Tabu, Adil Hussain and Gerard Depardieu are all fantastic actors to say the least but all of them put together have lesser screen time than Suraj Sharma. But Suraj Sharma has done brilliantly well to say the least.

There are also startling consistency errors that one would not expect from Ang Lee. Starting from how in the blazes does Richard Parker, manage to get the goat through the bars of its cage? Or how is there absolutely still water in the middle of the Pacific? Or how Pi (Suraj Sharma) can speak English without an accent and Pi (Irrfan Khan) suddenly develops one.

I would have also liked it if Ang Lee had stuck to Tamil with the entire Indian cast instead of pushing the screenplay in English. It would have turned out to be far more believable and distracted the audience from some of the obvious errors. I personally liked Life of Pi because of its stunning effects and so am giving it 7 on 10. Definitely watch over the weekend and decide for yourself.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2646320921/

Drive

This one is a very tricky one to review. Because once you have seen Drive you will know that there can be only two kinds of people. Those who loved Drive OR those who hated Drive. There can be no in-betweeners. Now one can argue for the sake of arguing that s/he found it OK but that would probably a giveaway for the seasoned movie watcher that actually, you have probably not seen the movie.

And if you find it difficult to believe what I am saying, you need to put yourself upto watching Drive. And don’t worry. It will not be too much of a risk that you will take. Because if you come from the latter group of people, you would just walk out of the hall without batting an eyelid. The first few minutes have very little spoken word – in fact that’s how the rest of the movie is as well.

I am going to go out on a limb and question why Drive was not nominated for a screenplay Oscar this year. You had the likes of Ides of March which I thought was one of THE most over rated movies last year. But the striking effort of Hossein Amini (screenplay) to convert James Sallis’ 2005 novel to the screen has been overlooked by many. It is an art to just say what is required and leave the rest to imagination and Amini (Shanghai) does just that. I thought this was the best aspect.

And then there is the courage that Danish director Nicolas Winding Refn gets to the table in terms of going ahead with the screenplay. The courage to make the right cuts. The courage to leave a lot unsaid and give the audience credit for its intelligence – much as the world is moving towards spoon feeding. I thought Refn did a fabuous job and would have been in the running for a nomination. BAFTA acknowledged it, the Academy didn’t. Tough luck for Refn.

And why the academy thought that Drive was not good enough to make the top 10 for last year can make it to Reader’s Digest’s “Mysteries of the Unexplained” easily. Firstly, they had only 9 nominations and Drive could easily have been the 10th. More importantly, they had Terence Malik’s Tree of Life that made it to the top 9 and Drive didn’t. Weird I tell. But then, I am no one to comment on why Tree of Life made it. Maybe there was a subtle, higher than life message that I missed.

Closing off with remarks on how Ryan Gosling and Carey Mulligan who were amazing in the lead. Gosling has definitely come of age over the past year of two. And Mulligan could have easily pipped Melissa McCarthy (Bridesmaids) for a nomination. You may or may not like Drive as I pointed out earlier but my verdict would still stand @ 8 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2772212761/

Amelia

Thank God for DVDs. Else this Diwali would have been a disaster of sorts. Firstly, the movie houses make way for the grand releases, both of which turned out to be duds to put it very mildly. What peeves you more is the fact that despite being duds, they are assured of screening for over 2 weeks. And that gave us a good opportunity to squeeze in a few movies that we have been wanting to watch for quite some time.

One of them being Mira Nair’s Amelia. The biopic, based on the life and times of the first female pilot in the world, whose life has been an inspiration for many a woman – and man – Amelia Earhart. Amelia (Hilary Swank) comes from Kansas where she grew up watching aircrafts in the early part of the century. A fascination that Nair, beautifully, yet briefly, brings to life with the titling.

And it was a matter of time, with the right encouragement that she finds herself in the office of a leading publisher of the 20s – George Putnam (Richard Gere). Putnam enlists Earhart’s services for a Trans Atlantic flight due to leave from New Foundland and find their way to St. Patrick’s country. Putnam intends to sensationalize the flight as the first one with a woman commander. A wonderful play on words – because Amelia is expected to do very little other than just stay on board.

But when the flight fails to take off, Amelia uses the opportunity to actually lead the expedition the next day. So what if the effort finds them reaching St. James’ country instead. Amelia finds herself in the record books for being the first woman to complete a Trans Atlantic flight. The first of many records that she would set. And fall short eventually of only her first attempt to circumnavigate the globe. A record that – most people in aviation would agree – should have been rightfully hers.

Nair, through the little under 2 hours of the movie, uncovers various facets of Earhart’s life. Her love affair with Putnam. Her affection for Gene Vidal (Ewan McGregor) and his son Gore. Her pioneering effort with respect to aviation in general and the formation of the 99ers, the first flying club for ladies in the US. Her pure love for flying without any desperation to be called the best – because she firmly knew that she was.

A good watch overall. Swank has as always given a 100%. Gere as always is understated and yet charming. Everyone else has very little to do. I thought this was as good an attempt that Mira Nair has ever made. You can decide for yourself. 7 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2446393881/

All The King's Men

Before you watch the movie, first watch this snippet of about 7 minutes. This is a speech that is given by Willie Stark (Sean Penn) when he first realizes that he is being played for, in the upcoming election. More importantly, he realizes somewhere in his head that he has what it takes to be Governor.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pw_uTjf6VPc&feature=related

Based on the 1946 novel by Robert Penn Warner of the same name, All The King’s Men tracks the life of Willie Stark who is married to a school teacher. An accident in his county where a school caves in due to poor construction moves him to take up the cause of ensuring standards. One thing leads to another and before you know it, he is running for governor.

But as mentioned earlier, he was only being played for the part to ensure that there is a vote split between the other chief competitors. The scheme fails thanks to some great campaigning by Stark and he wins the race. The rest of the story is Stark’s movement from being an up-country politics unfriendly person to one who climbs the learning curve of dirty politics at the speed of light. He moves into being a dark scheming character – continuing to fight for the deprived – but playing his cards like a pro.

The director, Steve Zaillian, is actually better known for his prowess in screenplay (Schindler’s List, Gangs of New York, Moneyball, The Millenium Trilogy) and has had several nominations in the category. But when it comes to direction, he had two, not so well known but decent movies to his credit before he made ATKM. Arguably, ATKM was his best effort to date. There are a lot of segments where you maybe a bit lost but the pieces fall together as the movie trudges along.

One can fault Zaillian for pace but as I have always said, there is a thin line between slow and intense and I thought Zaillian did a good job flirting with the line. What works for him are the right cuts that ensured that moves the unnecessary stuff out. And of course the screenplay that’s Zaillian’s forte anyways – rocks.

ATKM is otherwise an actor’s movie. Sean Penn, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Mark Ruffalo, Anthony Hopkins, Patricia Clarkson & James Gandolfini. All Zaillian had to do was not screw up. And these 7 names would have done the rest. That’s exactly what happened. You will not get bored for certain. But as warned earlier – slow. 7 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hV_Yad1i36w

Son of Sardaar

And after a painful start at the movies to Diwali, I moved from Screen 4 to Screen 2 @ PVR Mulund for the 1305 show of Son of Sardar. By this time, I was quite certain that it would be a “Dud Diwali” @ the Box Office in terms of quality of movies. But in terms of collections, the cash counters would ring in like most Diwalis to date. I must say that I was hoping against hope when I walked into screen 2. My hopes were going to be ill placed once again.

You are all aware of my aversion to slapstick comedy. And Ajay Devgn seems to be taking to that genre quite seriously. Salman Khan and Sanjay Dutt had already made themselves comfortable here and to see 3 of these on the same screen was probably my worst nightmare coming true. The only other person missing who would have completed the horror would have been AK. Thank God for small mercies. Thank God once again that Salman makes his presence felt only for about 30 seconds in all.

The Randhawa and The Sandhu families are at each other’s throats for a while and just the smallest of sparks sets off a blood bath of epic proportions. Enough for the surviving mother to send her child off to Rani Ka Des (The Queen’s Country). Many moons later, Jaswinder aka Jassi (Devgn) gets a notice from the government (wonder how they got his address) that he has received land worth Rs.50 lacs as part of a will (wonder whose?). So he has to get back home and claim it.

Of course, before he leaves, he is briefed about the long standing family fued. A fued that has left Shri Billu Sandhu (Sanjay Dutt) unmarried to Parminder (Juhi Chawla) for the past 25 years – some vow about not getting married till the last of the Randhawas are turned to ash (what is with this Diwali and promises to God and sundry???).

Along with Billu are his cousins who have promised not to have ice cream and Coca-Cola respectively – erm? But somehow Jassi finds his way into their house and conveniently refuses to leave. And the Sandhus don’t kill anyone within the four walls of their house. A matter of principle. So we need to wait for over 2 hours to figure out what will happen at the end of all this crap.

In between you have to sustain a barrage of slapstick dialogues. Lets give you a flavor of some of them.
1. Mein waapas nahin jaoonga. Wahan pe log mujhe “Hindustan Lever” bulayenge. (I will not go back. They will call me “Hindustan Lever” when I return)
2. Power waale chashmey aur Billu ki kasmey, ek baar chadh jaati hai to utarti nahin. (Powered glasses and Billu’s promises cannot be changed – apologies for the crude translation)
3. Yeh Real hai? Nahin ji yeh NaReal (Nariyal - coconut) hai (No translations for this one. I just cannot come close to what it means).
If you enjoyed this sneak peak, then there are 30 or more such absurb one liners waiting for you. You will love whats in store. I have not shared some of the more atrocious ones in this forum. Lest, I lose a few followers.

If you ask me whether SOS is better or JTHJ, I would go with the latter because it is the better of both evils – but that’s because I don’t like slapstick. If you want some mindless fun to ensure that your Diwali is not ruined by a fake Yash Chopra movie then SOS it should be. Either ways both rank a lowly 3 on 10 on my rating scale. A “Dud Diwali” indeed. After RA One last year – expected much better.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOlcpr7qEv4

Jab Tak Hai Jaan

Samar Anand (Shah Rukh Khan)… oops… I am sorry… Major Samar Anand (Shah Rukh Khan) is pushing 40 I would guess. His hobby is on the lines of what James Bond says in Skyfall – reincarnation. Only, Samar believes in playing an extremely risky version of Russian Roulette. And he isn’t doing it with a gun which has one bullet. He is doing it with Bombs. Yep. Our hero is labeled as “The man who cannot die”. He disposes bombs for a living – without protection that too.

And why does he do that? The nosy and extremely irritating Akira Rai (Anushka Sharma) is about to find out. How? Because she decides to dive into the freezing waters of what one can only assume was the Pangong Lake. Did I mention it was in her Puma bikini (Saurabh – please ensure you pay me money for the additional publicity). Well, as luck would have it, Major Anand waits for her to drown and then rescues her. Army protocol you see. Watch when a half naked woman jumps into the water and rescue only when she goes under (if you know what I mean).

Army protocol also dictates that after resuscitation, you should leave your fatigues with the chick and your personal diary so that the back story comes to life where Samar Anand is a 25 year old who can barely speak English and makes a living by doing multiple jobs including singing the same Punjabi song on the London Bridge everyday. Coincidentally, the woman – Meera (Katrina) who he makes the song for is willing to pay 500 sterling to learn the song and impress her father – Mr. Thapar (Anupam Kher who has been wasted) – who turns 50 in a month.

A passionate love story develops but when Samar has an accident, Meera, who has a current account with Mr. Jesus of Nazareth (Samar saw her first @ the church where she swore to give up chocolates in return for… never mind), asks for Samar’s life to be spared. In return, she promises never to see him again. Erm. WTF????

By this stage of the movie you are half tearing your hair apart. And if you check my twitter post out, I refuse to believe that Yash Chopra directed this movie. So what if the end credits show video footage of the great man directing people who look like the cast of the movie. Impossible!!! I request the Chopras to come clean of this cheap marketing gimmick. I am quite certain, this is an Uday Chopra directorial venture. Even Adi and Karan Johar cannot make such pathetic cinema.

The number of loop holes that the story has can substitute for perforated sheets. The execution is tacky – green screens for jumps into water @ Ladakh should at least look right. Yash Chopra could not have signed off on this final product. Other than the title poem (lyrics at the end of this review) there is no semblance of a dialogue or screenplay worth mentioning. The direction seems non existant – which is why I repeat – THIS IS HAS TO BE UDAY CHOPRA!!! NOT YASH CHOPRA!!!

And the movie just doesn’t seem to end. It took about 90 minutes to get to an interval which was also cheating. It first seems that the interval has come in and your much needed loo break is around the corner. And then they continue for 5 more minutes. Unfair. I call for a ban on such cheap tactics.

Shah Rukh Khan makes it 2 flops in a row with this Diwali. But the movie will make tons of money and cross 100 crores within this week. Sad but true. 3 on 10 only driven by a reasonable performance from Anushka (although she could have toned herself down a bit). And of course – the ever dependable A R Rahman who saves the movie with a soundtrack that can be heard.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v0UXgoJ9Shg

Teri aankhon ki namkeen mastiyaan
Teri hansi ki beparwah gustakhiyan
Teri zulfon ki leharati angdaiyan
Nahi bhoolunga main
Jab tak hai jaan
Jab tak hai jaan
Tera haath se haath chhodna
Tera saayon se rukh modna
Tera palat ke phir na dekhna
Nahi maaf karunga main
Jab tak hai jaan
Jab tak hai jaan
Baarishon mein bedhadak tere naachne se
Baat baat pe bewajah tere roothne se
Chhoti chhoti teri bachkani badmashiyon se
Mohabbat karunga main
Jab tak hai jaan
Jab tak hai jaan
Tere jhoote kasme waadon se
Tere jalte sulagte khwabon se
Teri be raham duaao se
Nafrat karunga main
Jab tak hai jaan
Jab tak hai jaan

Chasing Mavericks

This one is based on a true story and released last week. Didn’t post the review earlier because most of you would have missed out on reading it on Sunday. Diwali typically assures me some solid hits :-P and more importantly, I thought you should not miss out on a good movie – at least a good concept.

Jay Moriarty lived for all of a little over 22 years. 1978 to 2001. But in those 22 years he set an example for people across all fields of work. A simple concept of being in love with something so much that you don’t need to be asked twice to do it. A concept of having a passion in life that supercedes everything else that you have. For Jay Moriarty it was surfing.

He grew up in Santa Cruz, California where there were myths of what were called Mavericks. Waves which could touch upto 80 ft – all rumoured with absolutely no confirmation whatsoever. As a child of nearly 9 years, he is saved from drowning by Frosty Hesson (Gerard Butler) who eventually goes on to become Jay’s father figure of sorts. Jay’s father leaves him and his deranged mother, Kristy (Elisabeth Shue) around the same time.

Jay grows upto be a champion surfer at the age of 16 and rules the roost in the Santa Cruz circuit. But there is something about Frosty that Jay intends to catch up on. Every once in a while Frosty leaves home @ the unearthly hour of 4 am. One such morning Jay jumps onto the van (the back side) and gets to where Frosty goes. Only to be introduced to – The Mavericks – they actually exist. This time around they were only about 30 ft or so but that itself is quite a bit right?

What follows is a rigorous training programme that Frosty puts Jay through so that Jay can ride the mavericks before the end of the season – something similar to what Miyagi does in Karate Kid. But a very effective programme focused on the 4 pillars of human strength – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual.

I liked Chasing Mavericks because of the inspirational story that it provides. Unfortunately that is where it ends. Gerard Butler is less than his usual intense self. Michael Apted (World is Not Enough) & Curtis Hanson (L A Confidential) are both Academy award nominated directors but don’t really come up with the goods this time.

There has been an effort put in to give a feel of the 80s / 90s visually. And the surf sequences are quite well done and keep you on the edge of the seats. But the overall finishing, the attention to detail, the finer nuances that one would expect from the likes of Apted and Hanson are sorely missing.

To end with, I quote, “We all come from the sea. But we are not of the sea. Those of us who are, we children of the tides, must return to it again and again”. Inspiring story. Average movie. But watch it. 6 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3341722905/

Trouble With The Curve

When Clint Eastwood is involved in a movie, you can expect it to be nothing short of intense. And first time director Robert Lorenz should not have been a stranger to this fact. Lorenz has assisted Eastwood in several of his movies – Million Dollar Baby and Mystic River to name a couple. So it would have come as no surprise to see Eastwood, all over his movie at the end of the day – not just as an actor but also as a director – Trouble With The Curve seems to be directed more by Eastwood than Lorenz. And I speculate that it is not because Lorenz is Eastwood’s protégé.

Bo Gentry (Joe Massingill) is a teenager who is THE most talked about baseball player in recent times. He has been hitting the right notes with the press and the big home runs in the college leagues. Rumours are that he is going to be the first pick in the upcoming draft for the Red Sox. But the people at Atlanta Braves believe that they have a chance of pipping them.

The Braves’ best scout, and arguably one of the best in the business, is Gus Lobel (Eastwood). Gus is not the most popular of all scouts in recent times because of his crabby behavior – people get senile and crabby beyond 60 is what I have heard. As if that were not enough of a worry for him, technology is taking the game into the computer and scouts are no longer the “in thing”.

Complicating it further is Gus’s rapidly deteriorating eyesight. Thank goodness for this daughter Mickey (Amy Adams) – named after the inimitable Mickey Mantle – still is concerned about his well being albeit reluctantly. So when Pete Klien (John Goodman) who is Gus’ boss, asks Mickey to accompany Gus on his latest road trip, she is caught in two minds. The first one that asks her to stay back and work harder than she has for the past 7 years so that she makes partner. The other that tells her to join her dad on the road; for what its worth, he is her father.

The movie carefully peels the layers on a complex relationship between father and daughter. It adds the nuances of how traditional scouts went about their lives and their roles in identifying the best of the best. It builds a case for that age old adage – you cannot sit in air conditioned cabins and decide who is a better player. No substitute for being right where the action is.

What works further for TWTC is the strong star cast. Eastwood, Adams and Goodman are as always superb. And there is this young man who I have firmly believed is a far better actor than a singer. He answers to the call of Justin Timberlake. Now why would Justin sing when he can act so well. I see a few nominations here – Screenplay, maybe movie, all 4 acting nominations. Will it win any? Not sure. What I am sure of though is that you should not miss it. 7.5 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2083383/

Stolen

2 movies from Simon West in about the same number of months and in both of them he comes kind of a cropper. Expendables 2 did not have anything worth writing home about at all. Stolen, again, doesn’t give too much to look forward to. I wonder when it will start turning around North for West (that was really corny wasn’t it? :-p).

Written by David Guggenheim (as if it matters to anyone – I just picked out the name because Guggenheim sounded exotic :-p. Geez this review is getting cornier by the sentence. Just like the movie), Stolen is Nicholas Cage’s answer to Liam Neeson. It is as if Cage has decided that if Neeson (who is 60) can search out his daughter in 72 hours in Paris then he can do better. As if that wasn’t bad enough for Cage (who is 48), Neeson does it again and this time faster.

So Cage says, lets make a movie where my daughter (in the movie) gets kidnapped by a friend who is also an ex-con like me. OK hang on. Lets spice things up a bit. Lets make Nicholas Cage the best bank robber in all of the US. Lets give him a name – Will Montogomery aka Gom. He is being sought by the FBI for multiple robberies in New Orleans. And is responsible for many a sleepless night for Tim Harlend (Danny Huston) who is the FBI lead on the case.

A tip-off to Harlend and Gom who has planned a heist with Vincent (Josh Lucas – what the hell is a gorgeous RomCom lead actor doing here?). 2 other people in the heist – The absolutely gorgeous Riley Jeffers (Malin Åkerman) & the utterly misbehaved and ugly Hoyt (M C Gainey). When Vincent decides to do away with an innocent bystander – a janitor – after the heist, Gom stops him and in the process, Vincent gets his leg blown off – figuratively of course.

The three stooges make away but Gom gets left behind. A chase sequence that reminds you, why Gone in 60 Seconds is one of the best car chase movies ever made, ensues. Gom gets captured but before that happens, he burns $10 million of hard cash. Yep. He burns it. So he doesn’t get 18 years. But gets away with 8 years in the slammer. But that’s when the party begins. On the day of his release, One-legged-Vince, now has kidnapped his daughter Alison (Sami Gayle). He wants $10 million.

While Stolen has its moments, overall, it is a yawn feast. Thankfully, it is only about an hour and a half short. And the fact that I am not a Nicholas Cage fan didn’t quite help much. Thank God for the brief period of time that Malin Åkerman comes onto the screen. Helps have some eye candy. Quite avoidable. And if you have seen Taken then immensely avoidable. 5 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3234440473/

Love Shuv Tey Chicken Khurana

What is it about Punjabis and Punjab in general that makes them an ideal target for movies of any kind. Is it their loud nature that gives them a character that is quite unique as compared to any other sect, caste, creed or society? Or is it the fact that they are super colourful. Or maybe it the fact that they drink like there is not tomorrow. Or is it that they are just very large hearted characters - especially the Sardars.

Or is it just their Chicken and their capability to gorge on tons of the 2 legged creature that has become an integral part our lives as well? Considering that the earlier points were already beaten to death, Sameer Sharma - himself a Punjabi probably - must have definitely said to himself that it was time to get the humble creature into tinsel town. Not too many movies have been made which have a chicken as its central character right? Talk about identifying and opportunity.

For those who are getting other ideas, the central plot of the movie revolves around a chicken dish eponymously named by the inventor's wife. The inventory - Shri Khurana aka Darji or Grandfather (Vinod Nagpal) who figures out by chance, a recipe that sets the village of Lalton in Punjab on fire. But the recipe remains a secret. One that only Darji knows and now that he is senile with one foot in the grave, it would, in all probability go with him to the grave.

And so, when Omi Khurana (Kunal Kapoor) comes back in the hope that someone back home will help him solve the gangster problem of £50000 that he has got himself into, he is in for a not so pleasant surprise. Now, he doesn't have the money. The family doesn't have the money. Darji doesn't remember him or the recipe. And the deadly gangster (hilariously deadly) Shanty is after Omi's life. To help Shanty,a we have his absurd younger brother - Manty.

So, as you can see for yourself, there is very little that upon have to look forward to with LSTCK in terms of a story. The screenplay and dialogues are also nothing out of this world. They suit the purpose of the movie and give it a major Punjabi flair for certain. Maybe there were some nuances that the Punjabis would get but I wasn't too excited to be honest. Amit Trivedi's music is also not his best performance to date by a mile.

Kunal Kapoor has always been and will continue to be a director's actor. As Sameer Sharma is definitely not the kind of director who could inspire much confidence in any of the cast. Huma Qureshi takes off from where she left in Gangs of Wasseypur. Here is a girl who is here to stay. A pity that she will never move into commercial cinema coz she is just to large for the screen.

The rest of the cast are people who come from theatre and give the movie the fillip that it needed to stay afloat. But for them, Luv Shuv could have been a disaster. 5 on 10. Worth a demo but u could wait for the DVD or see it on TV.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xB9oO8bd7qM

Ted

Ted is one of the movies that has seen the light of the day, a bit late in India. A phenomenon that isn’t too common place. Especially with movies of this genre. Ted is nothing but a randomly made, slapstick, very predictable, romantic comedy with no class, that is labeled as entertainment by various segments of society that we live in. Something that has ceased to surprise me over the years.

John Bennet (Mark Wahlberg / Bretton Manley) is a loser. He has no friends whatsoever and is more often than not, bullied by the kids in his neighbourhood. Ergo he is also a loner. And like most kids, he hates to be a loner / loser. One Christmas, he prays for his Teddy Bear to come alive and be his friend. Well guess what – it is not for nothing that they say we should choose what we wish for very carefully.

Miraculously, Ted is alive the next day and goes onto become an overnight sensation that is lapped up by most Television channels. However, he never forgets that John is his best friend and ensures that they spend a lot of time together. Needless to say, John cannot imagine a life without Ted. What the wish however came with is a lifetime guarantee.

And now, 27 years later, John is a not so ambitious car salesman making about $30K per year and the best thing that has happened in his life after Ted is the gorgeous Lori Collins (Mila Kunis) – a successful executive in a large organization with a boss who doesn’t lose half an opportunity to hit on her. John and Lori have been in love for nearly 4 years now. People grow up out of Teddy Bears and isn’t it time to move away from Ted, now that John has pretty much decided to spend the rest of his life with Lori?

You may just about enjoy the first few minutes of cheap humour because it doesn’t quite feel too cheap honestly. With director Seth MacFarlane also giving the voice of Ted, there are some dialogues that will bring a smile to your face. But soon, most of the screenplay starts getting boring and half way into the movie you are suffering from an overdose of slapstick.

The performances are also nothing much you will really look upto. The story is quite good but lands up becoming kind of an overkill. You don’t leave the movie hall feeling happier than when you walked in and that to me is a clear indicator that you don’t need to waste your money on watching Ted on the big screen. Wait for the DVD or actually better still, watch it on TV if and when it airs. 5 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3048383257/

Skyfall

It’s a dark corridor in a not so great looking room. Just that kind that James Bond (Daniel Craig) would find himself in. He takes a few steps. Prepares to take aim, walks into a slightly brighter room where 2 bodies are lying on the floor. In the next room, lying on a single seater sofa is Agent Ronson (Bill Buckhurst) who has been shot and is losing blood. Bond helps Ronson by putting some pressure on the wound to stop the bleeding but duty calls.

There is a laptop that’s lying smashed on the floor. The Hard Drive is missing. The drive that contains the identity of every MI6 agent under cover with several terrorist organizations across the world. Bond is asked to give chase and joined in a by-lane by an unidentified gorgeous dark lady (Naomie Harris) and a chase ensues. They bring a black Audi down but the killer – Patrice (Ola Rapace) gets away on a police bike.

A superb chase sequence ensues that leads you across the streets of Istanbul and then onto the roof tops. All through the chase, you are holding onto the arms of your seat. Unidentified gorgeous dark lady cuts off killer on bridge. Killer is smart and jumps off the bridge onto a train that’s passing by. Bond follows suit. Gun Shots flying all around the place. One gets Bond on the right side of his chest when he is getting into an excavator that is being transported by the same train.

Killer is smart. Tries to delink the two bogies. Bond is smarter. He uses excavator to grab onto the top of the bogie that’s ahead. Crushes a few VW Beetles in the process and jumps onto the front car. Fist fight time. That goes over a few kilometers inside tunnels across the hills. In the meantime, unidentified gorgeous dark lady has overtaken train and is setting up to take a shot.

No clear shot available. M (Dame Judie Dench) orders her to, “Take the bloody shot”. Bond is hit. Falls off the train into a ravine and a river a few hundred feet below the bridge. Cut to Skyfall by Adele that reminds you of Shirley Bassey singing the early Bond tracks. By now, you are quite certain – this is a great Bond movie coming up.

The entire cast oozes complete class. The classic Bond sarcasm still intact. Just enough chases and fights to ensure that the concept of Bond doesn’t take the back foot. Very slow and intriguing build up to the climax. A villain that makes your blood crawl and has unfortunately not been given sufficient screen time – Bardem enters halfway into the movie. If anything was missing, it would have been the women who weren’t available in plenty like they usually are.

For a Bond fan – superb movie. For someone who isn’t – you may not like it. I loved it. Especially the Sam Mendes touch – not someone who you would associate with a Bond movie but then – once a class director, always a class director. Ensure this is part of your weekend. 8 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi973841433/