Stolen

2 movies from Simon West in about the same number of months and in both of them he comes kind of a cropper. Expendables 2 did not have anything worth writing home about at all. Stolen, again, doesn’t give too much to look forward to. I wonder when it will start turning around North for West (that was really corny wasn’t it? :-p).

Written by David Guggenheim (as if it matters to anyone – I just picked out the name because Guggenheim sounded exotic :-p. Geez this review is getting cornier by the sentence. Just like the movie), Stolen is Nicholas Cage’s answer to Liam Neeson. It is as if Cage has decided that if Neeson (who is 60) can search out his daughter in 72 hours in Paris then he can do better. As if that wasn’t bad enough for Cage (who is 48), Neeson does it again and this time faster.

So Cage says, lets make a movie where my daughter (in the movie) gets kidnapped by a friend who is also an ex-con like me. OK hang on. Lets spice things up a bit. Lets make Nicholas Cage the best bank robber in all of the US. Lets give him a name – Will Montogomery aka Gom. He is being sought by the FBI for multiple robberies in New Orleans. And is responsible for many a sleepless night for Tim Harlend (Danny Huston) who is the FBI lead on the case.

A tip-off to Harlend and Gom who has planned a heist with Vincent (Josh Lucas – what the hell is a gorgeous RomCom lead actor doing here?). 2 other people in the heist – The absolutely gorgeous Riley Jeffers (Malin Åkerman) & the utterly misbehaved and ugly Hoyt (M C Gainey). When Vincent decides to do away with an innocent bystander – a janitor – after the heist, Gom stops him and in the process, Vincent gets his leg blown off – figuratively of course.

The three stooges make away but Gom gets left behind. A chase sequence that reminds you, why Gone in 60 Seconds is one of the best car chase movies ever made, ensues. Gom gets captured but before that happens, he burns $10 million of hard cash. Yep. He burns it. So he doesn’t get 18 years. But gets away with 8 years in the slammer. But that’s when the party begins. On the day of his release, One-legged-Vince, now has kidnapped his daughter Alison (Sami Gayle). He wants $10 million.

While Stolen has its moments, overall, it is a yawn feast. Thankfully, it is only about an hour and a half short. And the fact that I am not a Nicholas Cage fan didn’t quite help much. Thank God for the brief period of time that Malin Åkerman comes onto the screen. Helps have some eye candy. Quite avoidable. And if you have seen Taken then immensely avoidable. 5 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3234440473/