Friday, 22 March 2013

Sona Spa

I love it when horrible movies are shorter than expected.  At least that ensures limited torture.  So Mr. Makarand Deshpande, “Thank you so very much for meeting my expectations and keeping this horrific movie down to less than 2 hours.  I would have actually gone one step further and not made it at all”.

But then you tend to look at the bright side when it comes to disasters like Sona Spa.  Makarand Deshpande took the concept of sleeping a bit too seriously.  He decided that even the audience needs to get a bit of shut eye.  More importantly, he had to send a strong message to the manufacturers of sleeping pills.  HUGE COMPETITION.
I struggled to keep my eyes open through the 2 hours.  And it had nothing to do with the fact that I am on antibiotics which are keeping me groggy anyways.  Hell, I sat through all of Rangrezz despite those the medication.  I am quite certain, I could have sustained other pieces of crap also.  But Mr. Deshpande had other ideas.
The concept was outrageous to begin with but then creative liberty is allowed in the cinematic space.  You cannot sleep or do not have the time to sleep.  Your “sleeping” partner will sleep FOR you.  Not with you.  FOR you.  Like, “Don’t worry boss, I will catch up on your sleep for you”.
The inventor of this concept is one Baba Dayanand (Naseeruddin Shah) who spends most of his time in Seattle because it would seem that the maximum cases of sleep disorders exist in that part of the world.  Coincidence or plain piece of crap in the story? I think it is the latter.
If you can get over the scary advertising campaign that Baba Dayanand drones out on the screen, “Ssssssoonaaaaa Sssssssspaaaa mein aap apni neend khareed sakte hain” (At Sona Spa, you can buy your sleep) then you have to deal with the insipid and scary hostess – Indira (Pooja Pradhan) who has a mentally retarded brother for company.
And the customers and the sleep maidens (girls who work at the spa) are even more weird.  Rucha (Shruti Vyas) who has a problem with her father.  Both are alcoholics.  Ritu (Aahana Kumrah) whose elder sister is suicidal, insomniac and depressed since her mother’s death and father slipping into coma.  Minakshi (Nivedita Bhattacharya)  who used to be a prostitute and cannot get over her love for Urdu.
I am not going to touch the aspect of the customers because they are most scary.  There is really nothing to look forward to in Sona Spa.  Not even a random item number.  No music, no acting, no performances, a horrible story line, bad technical aspects and Naseeruddin Shah at his worst!!! 1 on 10.


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