Rise of The Zombie

Lets have a look at the trailer of Rise of the Zombie before we go through the review.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=60fyPQcHi6M. It says – “Prepare to witness – The Death of Love, The Regret of a Father, The Loss of a Friend.  This February – Survival is a Dream and the end is one step closer”.

Yeah right.  The end is definitely one step closer.  At the end of the movie i.e. if you manage to survive till the end – you will definitely be one step closer to taking your own life.  Because if it means that you have to live through meek attempts at cinema (marriage videos offer more entertainment) then you may as well end your life.

 

And before you start having any doubts, let me clarify that the other parts on the trailer are also pretty much a load of crap.  The Death of Love survives for all of 2 minutes.  The Regret of a Father lasts for a minute.  And the Loss of a Friend for 20 seconds.  That’s the screen time given to dialogue or anything sensible during the movie.

 

Out of the remaining 90 minutes you are treated to about 35 minutes of a Discovery Channel documentary (without commentary) of some exotic locales in India (Sikkim or Gahrwal I am assuming).  There is one dialogue that is as cheesy as ever, “Cheers Mother Nature – The best company”.

 

Then there are about 55 minutes that begin with a bee sting.  Our protagonist who is one of the most famous photographers of our time doesn’t deem it fit to see a doctor when the sting turns into a nasty rash and then into a field of pus emitting spheres (read boils).  He doesn’t bother even when he pukes his guts out a couple of days later.

 

Rise of the Zombie is a movie that is sprayed all across with such lack of logic, inconsistency and random unsteady camera (I am assuming that the opposite of a steady camera is an unsteady camera :-p) work that the directors – Luke Kenny and Devaki Singh – will call classy cinema.

 

Sorry dudes.  You cannot be more far from the truth.  The one thing that I will give you credit for though is the prosthetics.  Whoever it was in your team that was responsible for this aspect should be given a pat on the back.  There is some future for them.  And if, you thought that the music would be a saving grace then you will be more disappointed.

 

Rise of the Zombie is the kind of movie that you would not watch even if you are paid to.  And if you are a horror flick fan then you will be splitting yourself with laughter.  It is indeed more of a comedy than a thriller / horror.  And guess what – there is a sequel already planned for 2014 – Land of the Zombie.  Guess who is lining up for that one? 2 on 10.