Lauri Mauritz
Harjola is better known as Renny Harlin.
Why do we know Renny Harlin? It is because he gave us movies like Die
Hard 2, Cliffhanger and Long Kiss Goodnight.
Were any of them stunning award winning movies? Not at all. But they were really solid entertainment and
very good for their times. I would not
find it difficult to watch any of these movies once again.
Unfortuately, these
were made when Harlin was probably in his prime as a 30 something sensible
director. At 50+ maybe he is way past
it. I think people have been really kind
to rate this movie @ nearly 4 on imdb.com or it could be because of the SFX /
CG (Special Effects / Computer Graphics) saved the day. It proved that out of $70 Million, a big
chuck was spent on beautification.
If only the
makers could have spent a bit more on getting the basics right. There is just
so much wrong with The Legend of Hercules that I cannot do justice to the job
of finding mistakes (if there could be a job of that kind). Despite my best
efforts, I am quite certain that there would be a few more that could be added
to the list.
I am going to
start with casting. Kellan Lutz?
Seriously? There is always a time for someone to get into a lead role. But Hercules? There is just no merit in that
choice. Yes, he is a well-built chappy. There
is a point of time where he screams, “Tonight we fight” and you are so thankful
that Russell Crowe and Gerard Butler existed to give you a timeless moment and
that you can easily forget Lutz’s momentous gaffe in cinema.
There is the
insipid Gaia Weiss who can compete with a coffee mug for who can be more
expressionless or emotionless? The
kicker had to Rade Serbedzija (a tongue twister of a 2nd name) who
plays the role of Chiron – the Queen’s advisor.
Where everyone else is speaking American here is a guy who jumps out of
nowhere speaking with a East European Accent – erm WTF????
For those
unaware of what TLOH is all about, it is the story of the origin of Hercules –
son of Zeus (the god of gods) and Alcmene (a mortal queen – Roxanne McKee). It shows how Hercules was conceived (it was
hilarious!!!), treated like the 2nd grade child (what do u expect if
the king walks in to his queen orgasming like there is no tomorrow) and then sent
on a suicide mission – only to come back to claim what was always his.
The most
disappointing aspect of TLOH is that instead of portraying a Greek epic that is
meant to evoke excitement and inspiration and pride, it lands up being comic. There is a point of time where Hercules
fights with 2 champions who have never lost.
Guess their names – Half Face and Humbaba!!!! That fight lasts for 5
minutes or so. The next one with 6
champions of world lasts for 2 minutes. Talk
about getting priorities wrong.
The piece de
resistance is when Iphicles (Liam Garrigan) has Hebe (Gaia Weiss) by her throat
and is threatening to kill her unless Hercules spares King Amphitryon (Scott
Adkins). Hebe instead pushes the knife through her own chest (or shoulder – its
confusing). The blade cuts through her
and pierces Iphicles’ heart – all the way out!!! Game Over!!! 3 on 10.
Watch the trailer
on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1685301273/?ref_=tt_ov_vi
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