Shortcut Romeo

Consider a husband who has a 13000 crore business believes in meditating in front of a wall size picture of a bearded swami baba. After that, he doesn't quite bother about his sex-starved wife - one that is described by our hero Suraj (Neil Nitin Mukesh) as Makkan jaisi jawaani (crudely translated as sizzling hot). Usually the result is infidelity of some kinds. No?

Thats what happens with Monica (Ameesha Patel) who stoops down from the level of her billionaire baba believing boy to a golf instructor. Mother of downgrades!!! Unfortunately for her - karma is a bitch. Our opportunistic hero tapes the two of them using a pristine golf course in Mumbai for more than just golf. Our hero braves even a cobra to shoot this - but our infidel couple don't quite c the cobra. Thank God for that.

 

All this happens because Suraj also happens to be a psycho who believes in smashing a bottle over his brother's head over a piece of bread. But he is a psycho with brains. Instead of a one-time settlement of even a crore ($250K), he asks Monica to be his atm. The deal is that he can dip into her endless source of funds at any time. Extremely smart move I say. Not that he knows how to manage the situation frugally.

 

Some interesting fun facts (note the sarcasm) from the movie

1. Doodh ke saath karela khaoge toh ulti hogi (Bitter gourd & milk, make you pewk)
2. If your wife blows 75 lacs ($150K) on a credit card, you really don’t care
3. In today's day and age, if someone doesn't ask your name but pushes you to find it, then s/he should be from mumbai
4. Also if you are pushed, you would swear in your mother tongue, only your mother tongue and nothing else but your mother tongue.
5. Cinderella got a gold slipper in the fairy tale - not a glass one.
6. If you are being chased by goons in Mumbai, you should lead them to the race course and tire them by running 2 rounds.

It is no secret that Ameesha Patel is desperate for movies and will do anything in her capabilities to take a movie. All Susi Ganesh would have needed to do is ask. But is it the end of the road for Neil Nitin Mukesh as well? This one would easily rate as his worst performance to date. It is embarrassing enough to be used as an abuse going forward. For e.g. "who did u learn to act from? Neil Nitin Mukesh"?

 

One cannot quite blame Susi Ganesh here because this is the kind of movie that he makes - crappy. So the over the top action sequences, no attention to detail, below par music etc. are only expected. But, the acting is so bad that it adds to the pain like very little. Consider that I have written this entire review during the movie and before the interval. There are very few movies that come close to Shortcut Romeo. Very few movies should be given 1 on 10. Maybe 0 on 10. In short don’t waste your time.

 

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnfoDyxjb4o