Purani Jeans

Fresh talent always spurts new ideas and gives the industry a positive momentum.  However, that is not the case when aspiring talent – more often than not in this part of the world – is terribly incompetent. Tanushri Chattrji Bassu despite the missing e and extra s is just one of those incompetent new age directors who, by means best known to them, got a lousy movie like Purani Jeans green-lighted and released.

I don’t mean to say that Ms. Bassu can never be good.  As on date, she should not have been given the onus of making movies that have budgets of over 7 figures leave alone 9 figure budgets like PJ. What I would definitely like to learn from Ms. Bassu is the secret behind making that pitch to a bunch of producers.  Surely she must have a passion that is unparalleled.

To Ms. Bassu’s credit she wasn’t armed with a cast that is remotely aware of the basics of acting.  They are all aspiring actors and with a lot of hard work – AND A LOT OF IT WILL BE REQUIRED – they may make it somewhere in the world of cinema.  I don’t envy Ms. Bassu’s position at all.  There is little she could have done to make these stone faced, expressionless young men and women perform in front of the camera.

Samuel Joseph Lawrence aka Sam (Aditya Seal) is a rich kid whose mother was the Maharani or Kasauli (Sarika) and estranged father was the Viceroy of Himachal.  Maharni is now married to their smart, opportunistic Estate Manager (Rajit Kapoor) who is also bonking their secretary on the side.  Sam is aware of all this but can do little because Maharani ji is blinded by love (read louv).

Sam studies in London and is back home after 2 years.  In those years, he has got straight As in college (yeah right!!), heads the Shakespeare Society (someone get me a rope) and also makes it to the rowing team (hang me. Hang me please!!!).  He hates his family so much that he first meets his Cowboy Gang (aaarggh!!!) galavants with them the entire day and then meets his mom who is back after getting drunk at the club.

The Cowboy Gang is formed of Sam, Sid (Tanuj Virwani – also the narrator), Tinu (Kashyap Kapoor), Bobby (Param Baidwaan) and Susi (Raghav Kakkar).  To qualify them as cowboys, our hero also gets them cowboy hats from London (what better a place for them hats I say).  Also, their friendship is supposed to be like a pair of old (Purani) jeans that gets better with age – whoa!!!! Standing ovation please.

To complicate this mix in walks Nayantara (Izabelle Leite) short for – wait for it – Nayantara!!! (Wow!!! Applause!!!).  She falls for Sid.  Sid falls for her.  Sam falls for her.  Sid doesn’t tell Sam.  Sam assumes N loves her.  Sid and N get hot on rainy night in Kasauli.  Sam walks in but threesome doesn’t happen.  Sam drives new jeep off cliff and commits suicide. Sid leaves for US and 12 years later narrates full story in flashback.

That in summary is one of the corniest, sexist stories I have ever heard in my life.  The cowboy gang has a code in which one line reads, “Marry only a virgin”.  That Ms. Bassu allowed that line is in itself a reflection of her capabilities as a director.  There is also a part where Bobby refuses to own up to knocking over N’s sister Alisha (Kashika Chopra).  Thankfully he gets ostracized from the group.

Funnily Alisha’s abortion happens at a hospital run by the local parish – Has the church started endorsing abortion Ms. Bassu? Are you serious Ms. Bassu? That, my friends, is the “gaffe–a–minute” ride that you will be subjected to with PJ.  That abbreviation stands for something else as most of you will be aware.  Unfortunately, the joke is on the audience this time.  2 on 10 for some decent music from Ram Sampath.

Watch the trailer on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ht0Nj0oxsFo