Mumbai Mirror

 OK it is time for honesty.  I was pissing in my pants before I walked into the hall that was screening Mumbai Mirror.  I mean, have you seen Sachiin Joshi and the way he is looking at you on the poster???? I dare you to look at him once again.  For the benefit of those who haven’t seen the poster, I have added it to the blog.  Take a look.  Go on.  It is scarier than Gabbar Singh.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

 

 

Those bloodshot eyes are the closest anyone can come to murder in a movie.  And the fact that he has pursed his lower lip to make the look more menacing actually works. Don’t you think so?  Come on.  Don’t lie.  And what about those rippling muscles in clad in a white banian – that should surely make you sense fear? 

Oh come on!!! Be honest guys.  There is a lot of money that has been put into this movie poster.  Everything is fair in love and war and the movie business is nothing short of the latter no? So what if Sachiin Joshi paid money to people to play him as the hero in a movie (http://viikingventures.com/aboutus.html). I mean look at the number of people who have done it.  Um. Erm. Never Mind.

And then there is Ankush Bhatt.  He made this average flick called Bhindi Bazaar Inc with Kay Kay Menon and Prashant Narayanan in 2011.  But his obsession with the Bombay lingo and streets hasn’t quite spared him as of now.  Move on to a new topic Ankush Bhatt!!! Better still – just move on.  Average direction the first time around.  But this time it has gone below par.

Lets not even go down the technical aspects of the movie.  There is little to be spoken about there.  The music from Anand Raj Anand & Amjad Nadeem is uninspiring.  Instead of one random item number thrown in, they have 2.  Some more random songs as garnish.  And nothing else.

A quick look at the dialogues that should get Salman Khan to the courts.  For a change, Salman Bhai will be suing and not getting sued (don’t mind bhai. Just kidding)

1. After winning an award, Inspector Patil (Joshi) is asked to speak a few words. He goes onto the mike and says, “I deserve it”.  APPLAUSE!!!!
2. Jis haddi ke liye tum dum utha sakti ho, us haddi ke liye main dum nahin hila sakta? (If you can get your tail up for a favour, cant I wag my tail).  MORE APPLAUSE!!!
3. Is duniya mein ek hi cheez se dar lagta hai – ki mujhe kisi bhi cheez se dar nahin lagta (I fear only only thing – that I fear nothing).  WHISTLING AND CAT CALLS BEGIN
4. Mein ek hi baat pe bharosa karta hoon.  Ki mein kisi bhi baat pe bharosa nahin karta hoon (I trust only one thing – that I trust nothing) STANDING OVATION!!!!

Mumbai Mirror marks the continuous tragedy that Bollywood has gotten itself into in 2013.  Bad start leading to movies that seem to be contesting for which one will be worse than the other.  Sorry folks – 3 weekends into the year and I do not see too much of light at the end of the tunnel.  As of now, it is a small speck of light that is struggling to survive with the limited oxygen it has in a dark cave.  Someone better do something and soon at that.  1 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E__fc8xl_sw