Sunday 27 May 2012

Yeh Khula Aasman

Samarth Lahri & Gitanjali Sinha (the writers of YKA) seem to have been totally blown away by Udaan. The similarities between the posters and trailers of YKA and that of Udaan are a little too stark to go unnoticed. Now mind you Udaan was an 8 on 10 movie and probably the best one from year before last (2010) with some stunning performances. My apprehension was therefore well placed because the expectation of yet another off beat excellent movie may have been too much. And too much it turned out to be. Way Way too much.

About 15 minutes into the movie I was actually trying to figure out how not to sleep. This is actually supposed to be a true story if the press reports are to be believed. But was there a way that the true story could have actually been mashed up severely beyond a point of respecting the intent behind the story? Well, Gitanjali Sinha surely could not have mashed it up more than what the end result turned out to be. The fact that she is a newbie director is extremely obvious with the quality of execution and the errors in consistency.

YKA is the story of Avinash (Raj Tandon) who doesn’t get through to the IITs. Add to that the complications of parents who are not based in India but in London. How they decide to leave their son in Mumbai is a bit confusing. Now that he has failed to make it, he decides to leave for Bhagalpur by train to meet his grandfather Gulab (Raghuvir Yadav). Gulab Daadu is obviously very pleased to see his grandson after 10 years. Along the way to recuperation and coming to terms with taking a drop of a year (to give IIT a 2nd shot), Avinash makes some new friends, participates in a kite flying competition and finds the love of his life. And between all this, the audience can take a quick snooze.

YKA is one of the most boring movies in recent times. The direction is of course depressing to say the least. But what makes it worse is the really atrocious editing from Kaustubh Chitnis and Vivek Shah’s pedestrian cinematography. The dialogues are uninspiring. And the last straw on the camel’s back is the zero intensity acting from everyone in the cast. It is surprising that actors who are as talented as Raghuvir Yadav and Yashpal Sharma have been wasted. But a lot of it has to do with them not giving their 100% to the movie.

Anand Milind has also come up with some really average music. Overall, a waste of time this one. Don’t bother watching it even on DVD. 3 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvl9xw7y3a8

Saturday 26 May 2012

Arjun The Warrior Prince

I hate to start with negatives but in the case of Arjun – The Warrior Prince, what strikes you as most disappointing is the quality of animation. I have been browsing some reviews and comments on line and have been shocked at people calling this attempt as high quality animation. People – reality check due. If this is good animation then you guys haven’t been cued into where the world has actually progressed in the past decade. The last time, Hollywood or any international studio released a movie with this tacky animation was like – not in my life time.

And the shocker is that this is coming from Walt Disney Studios. Agreed there is a need to move into India quickly but Disney has way too many good movies to dent their reputation – and seriously at that – with a below par animation attempt on one of India’s greatest heroes. I say all of this because the animation quality seems just too artificial. Where there has been some attention paid to say shadows, there has been no attention paid to say the way people walk. Disastrous!!!

I have always been a huge huge fan of the Mahabharata and believe that it is time that either Peter Jackson or Spielberg (would be my choice) picks this up as their next 3 part magnum opus. There is just so much that can be done with the Mahabharata. The number of story lines that exist amazes me to no end. And one struggles to make a choice – which one do I like more. And therefore, Arnab Chaudhuri was perfect in his choice per se. Nothing could have sold better than the story of Arjun. It is evergreen and will always make money at the BO. Full points there.

But then Arnab, why did you have to change the story line so much? Why do you have to portray Dhritharashtra as a dwarf and Shakuni Mama as an asthmatic obese dwarf. Both these characters actually land up looking too funny to be taken seriously. Why do you portray Karna in a fashion that is most insulting to one who even in the Mahabharata has been portrayed as one of the humblest of warriors. And pray why would you portray Arjun as an absolute pansy. Agreed, he needed to be Brihanalla (a woman during the 13th year of exile) but the effort to make him look feminine was something I could not fathom. Not to mention the absolutely artificial hour glass forms of every single female character and the absolute free will with which you have changed the story line.

Overall, an extremely disappointing attempt. I was actually looking forward to it. But I guess, Spielberg and Jackson still have an opportunity to cash into India – and cash in really big time. On 2nd thoughts maybe Baz Luhrmann would be awesome. 4 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6K-R-Q0YRtQ&ob=av3e

Friday 25 May 2012

Dr. Seuss' The Lorax

I like Dr. Seuss’s stories. I was very late on catching up with the folks at Whoville. But when I eventually did, I was quite pleased with what I saw. I thought Jimmy Hayward & Steve Martino put in quite a good effort with it and would have thought they would continue. But I guess since the stories don’t have any connection, it was not an unfair call to go with Chris Renaud and Kyle Balda who have recently delivered a nomination at the Oscars with Despicable Me. So with that in mind, would you be correct in expecting another solid attempt from Renaud and Balda? Maybe yes.

First of all, The Lorax is an absolute kiddy movie. There is very little that an adult can look forward and definitely lesser for a movie critic – amateur or otherwise. But I must say that the movie has been made extremely well for the audience of the said age group. There were quite a few of these 3 footers who were running around the aisles of the cinema hall having a good time both during the movie and the interval.

What makes it watchable is the simplicity of its story. Much like Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who. This one tracks the life of The Once-Ler (Ed Helms) who stays in a place far far away from the closest settlement of Thneedville – a place so perfect that it seems obvious that it is artificial. Thneedville is run by this 2 foot man called Mr. O’Hare (Rob Riggle). O’Hare not only owns Thneedville but most importantly, runs a business that supplies clean water and air to the residents. Something that would not have been possible otherwise in that part of the world.

How did it all come to this? That’s what our hero – Ted (Zac Efron) decides to trace back. Thanks to a wish that Audrey (Taylor Swift) makes about wanting a real tree. The story goes that The Once-Ler in his desire to create the biggest invention of time – The Thneed – chops down the first tree. This calls in The Lorax (Danny De Vito) – the protector of trees – who warns the Once-Ler about the consequences. But when the Thneed becomes a rage, Once-Ler succumbs to family pressures and chops all of them down leaving the world tree-less.

Every Dr. Seuss story has a message and this one is could not have been more relevant to today’s day and age. And the quality of animation is definitely top class. If anything is a bit weak – it could be the simple nature of the story line. But as I said earlier, kids will love this for certain. Don’t watch The Lorax expecting too much from it. Watch it if you have about an hour and a half to kill and don’t want to stress yourself too much with some heavy movies. 6 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1238212889/

What to Expect When You're Expecting

There are RomComs with hot women all over the place like sesame seeds on a Big Mac. And there are RomComs with hot PREGNANT women all over the place like sesame seeds on a Big Mac. This one falls in the latter section. I did try to get a look at the trailer before I went to watch What to Expect when you’re expecting (WTEWYE – sounds like a weird computer anagram).

And the trailer was uninspiring to say the least. Should have taken a cue I guess. But then old habits die hard don’t they? The sucker for punishment continues to take the road not travelled – sometimes on a ridiculous whim (makes note to self that he should try and avoid it as the days go by).

There are a whole host of characters in the movie and I will try to describe them over the next few sentences. There is ex race car driver Ramsey (Dennis Quaid) who is forever in competition mode – even with his son Gary (Ben Falcone). Ramsey is with a woman half his age – Skyler (Brooklyn Decker) – who can make your tongue fall to the ground. Gary on the other hand is married to Wendy (Elizabeth Banks) who doesn’t come remotely close to Skyler – so even here the contest continues because both Wendy and Skyler get pregnant at the same time.

Then there is Jules (Cameron Diaz) who is the host of The Biggest Loser and a fling with her choregrapher – Evan (Matthew Morrison) and gets knocked up. There is Alex (Rodrigo Santoro) who is married to Holly (Jennifer Lopez). Holly cannot conceive and has been pushing Alex to consider adoption for quite sometime now and is slowly making progress. And lastly there is Marco (Chace Crawford) & Rosie (Anna Kendrick) who were in high school together but now are competing stall owners at the local park.

I have not had the opportunity to watch any Kirk Jones movies (Everybody’s fine / Nanny McPhee) but I am not brimming with confidence after my experience. The entire cast seemed to be going through the motions more than anything else. As if there was a desperate need to finish the movie on a tight deadline. There was not one sequence where there was any attempt at getting intensity. It was one hell of a drifter of a movie.

I wasn’t the most thrilled about acting, directing, screenplay, editing or anything for that matter. It was a chick flick which wasn’t close to being great. Now you all are aware of my weakness for chick flicks. But I didn’t think this was worth it. 4 on 10 is what I say. Watch at your own risk.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2841223449/

Men In Black 3

Now this franchise is 15 years old… or should I say 15 years young!!!! 1997 is the first time we were saved from the scum of the universe. 15 years and a sequel later, we have the same team – and that to me is THE most surprising part of MIB III – the same team, coming back to save us from some more scum. Now how is that for a benchmark of commitment towards consistency? Take a bow people. Take a bow!!!

And Barry Sonnenfeld doesn’t disappoint. The director of other hits such as RV and Wild Wild West, teams up with his favourite star – Will Smith – once again to give us some vintage MIB stuff. All with upto date techniques of visual effects. Add to that some really good Alien Effects from Rick Baker – in a movie like this it deserved to be called out separately in the credits. What you get at the end of the day is the MIB essence which people in my age bracket have grown up with. But you also get a product that will appeal to the “children” of today ;) (notice the evident sarcasm).

J (Will Smith) and K (Tommy Lee Jones) are going about their business as usual saving the earth and reporting to their new boss O (Emma Thompson). But on the last 2 stake outs, J starts noticing something out of place and is not the most comfortable with K informing him that it is above his pay grade. Some more investigation and he finds out that Boris The Animal (Jemaine Clement) who has recently escaped the world’s most secure prison has something to do with this.

Boris, with the help of his hot aide, escapes the Lunar prison and using a time machine goes back to alter the course of the universe. He kills K – and that’s only because K didn’t kill him the previous time – and now J finds himself craving for chocolate milk. Are you confused already? Don’t be. Coz all of the above has been done really well in the movie. And rest assured you will not be as twisted around as you are now.

The essence of MIB is retained all through with the quirky dialogues which may make little or no sense to the young and uninitiated. But fear not – coz they have nothing to do with the movie . What has improved dramatically is the quality of visual effects and the emphasis on the aliens. The story line is as always very straightforward but complicated with the use of unpronounceable galaxies and species.

I read this in another review and I quote, “That old canard is right: comedy is not easy. Science fiction comedy is even less easy”. I cannot agree more. 7 on 10 for certain.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3916407065/

Saturday 19 May 2012

The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel

I saw the trailer of The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (TBEMH) over 3 months back down under. I was actually quite certain that some moron somewhere in this country will find some of the things said offensive enough to file a Public Interest Litigation and ensure that the movie never sees the light of day in India. Something like the powers that be did with Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Thankfully that didn’t happen unless of course there is something that was done behind the scenes that we are unaware of. I was not complaining either ways.

TBEMH traces the lives of 7 people who have one foot in the grave – each with a secret of their own who find themselves in India at the same time. Evelyn Greenslade (Judi Dench) has just lost her husband who she was severely dependent upon. Graham Dashwood (Tom Wilkinson) leaves London on a whim of sorts – just like that in the middle of a speech from his colleague – he packs his bags and heads off to India. Douglas (Bill Nighy) and Jean (Penelope Wilton) Ainsley are a couple who are dealing with coming to an age where they cannot afford to buy more than very basic accommodation in an old age home.

Muriel Donnelly (Maggie Smith) has come to a point where her hip bone has given way but she is some sort of a racist and doesn’t like to be touched by anything that’s not white. Norman Cousins (Ronald Pickup) and Madge Hardcastle (Celia Imrie) are 2 people who do not believe that age has anything to do with being sexually active. In the case of Cousins, he just wants to get laid. But Madge’s desires extend to finding a single man of royal blood.

Norman and Madge are actually the funniest characters in this geriatric Romantic Comedy from the table of John Madden (Shakespeare in Love, Captain Correlli’s Mandolin) who is known for spinning stories that touch your heart. Madden has once again stuck to his strength of fleshing out each character beautifully. Each of the 7 people are introduced in just under a minute right at the beginning before the actual credits start. The sequence is really well done.

Madden need not have worried about the acting department in this one (or previous ones) because he has picked up his cast to a perfection. To me the outstanding performance came from Maggie Smith who will definitely stake a claim to Uncle Oscar this year. Add to the performances some vintage British humour and dialogues that will stay with you for a really long time such as, “I am single by choice. Not just my choice” OR “When I want your opinion I will give it to you” or the more serious, “The only real failure is the failure to try. And the measure of success is how we cope with the disappointment that comes with trying”. Beautifully written words from Ol Parker. Adapted from the book Foolish Things by Deborah Moggach, this is one Brit RomCom you must add to your weekend watches. 7 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi929996313/

Dark Shadows

There are 2 kinds of people in this world – Tim Burton fans and people who are not Tim Burton fans. How the latter could exist is beyond my comprehension. It would classify as one of the few unexplained, unfathomable mysteries of the world that we live in. How someone can turn a blind eye or not like one of Hollywood's best exponents of dark fantasia is beyond me. I sometimes wonder if I like Burton for his simple stories or more for his creative brilliance.

Both aspects are amply visible in his latest release – Dark Shadows. The simplest of love stories made absolutely fascinating by the fertile Burton imagination. Barnabus Collins (Johnny Depp), Brit born boy moves to the other side of the Atlantic with his parents who come to money with loads of hard work. They build their own mansion – or should I say palace where Barnabus grows up. When he comes of age, he first falls prey to the charms of Angelique (Eva Green) who is stunningly gorgeous alright but is also a serious witchcraft practioner.

As they go along, Barnabus realizes that there is something fishy about Angelique and she is actually obsessed with him. Her obsession causes her to even kill his parents in what would have seemed like an accident. Barnabus’ doubt and the entry of Josette (Bella Heathcote) leads to further desperation with Angelique. Spurned by the love of her life, she curses Josette to suicide and Barnabus to life as a vampire. She also gets the town folk to bury him alive. But Vampires don’t die do they? 2 centuries later – 196 years to be precise – Barnabus has returned to claim his home back.

Dark Shadows – as the name suggests is actually Dark. But then most Burton movies are. So that’s not surprising at all. All elements of a Burton flick are absolutely intact which would be great news for fans. The humour is very understated but very ice cold. And the overall cinematography makes it even more spine chilling. Most of the make up is eerie but with so much attention to detail that one cannot help but admire.

Burton continues to put his trust on his regular star cast. And why not I say. Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter would easily make it to the list of best actors of our time. And with Burton orchestrating things, we see one of Eva Green’s best performances to date. Her essaying of Angelique makes you want to actually get into the screen and strangle her. At the same time, much like Barnabus, you also would find it difficult to keep your hands off her. Michelle Pfeiffer is just right. And Chloë Grace Moretz continues to impress.

I am a Tim Burton fan and Dark Shadows has done nothing to ruin it for me. Loved it totally. 8 on 10. One of the better movies of the year. Definitely in the running for the Oscars for categories such as Art Direction, Set Design, Make Up etc.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi397582361/

Dangerous Ishhq 3D

I am totally convinced that I am a complete sucker for punishment. As I was growing up and took to my movie affliction really seriously in the early 90s, the person who I hated the most would have been the elder of the Kapoor Khandan ki betiyaan. Many moons ago, the founding father of India’s first family had put down a rule that “Koi Kapoor Khandaan ki Beti will not enter Bollywood” (No daughter from the Kapoor family will enter Bollywood).

But then a rebel faction of a deranged wife and her two daughters decided to move away from this archaic rule. What they forgot and refused to give credit to is that the senior most Kapoor would have thought about something before the not so great rule. He had the vision even before his grand daughters were born. A vision that none of the women in the family would be safe in the big bad world of Bollywood and that the acting genes find its way only to the men in the family. The women would never know how to act.

After sustaining the elder of the 2 sisters for over a decade, and a welcome decade of a break in between, we have to go through the trauma of sustaining her in the latest of Vikram Bhatt’s methods of torture. It goes by the name of Dangerous Ishhq (note the spelling) and before I forget – 3D. I saw it in 2D and Vikram ji in his most cost conscious method has done nothing much to differentiate between the 2D and 3D version. It seems tackily executed because some work done to create the 3D effect continues to exist in the 2D version as well.

Enough of the Vikram Bhatt and Karisma bashing. Lets move to the story or the lack of it. There is this woman who looks well into her 30s if not 40s who is actually picked up by Manish Malhotra to be the show stopper. All of 4 ft and nearly 40 is not a great combination per se. But what the heck. Whats life without a bit of risk. So what if the person needs to wear 7” heels and still doesn’t get to 5 ft. Anyways, Sanjana (Karisma) is not only a sought after model but is also required to go to Paris at the drop of a hat.

But Before she leaves, her boyfriend who looks half her age (now now we are open minded about these things here. Don’t get me wrong) gets kidnapped. News is that he is a massive industrialist. Enter cop in command (Jimmy Shergill) who has no qualms of involving a dim witted woman in the crime scene. Especially after she starts getting visions about her boy friend from a past life which will eventually transcend 6 centuries and 3 lives. Aaaaargh!!!!

As always, a concept that may have passed off as a good one but then one Vikram Bhatt and a cast of insipid actors ensured that whatever little hope existed would not see the light of day. It is a truly dangerous expedition this one. Even if one were to pay you for it. But then if you like your cheap thrills, you can go ahead. 2 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi23307033/

Saturday 12 May 2012

The Raid : Redemption (Serbuan Maut)

It is official. I have seen my first Indonesian movie. And I am actually glad that I picked this one over Dangerous Ishhq 3D – not that it was a very difficult choice. I had absolutely no clue to the origins of The Raid : Redemption OR Serbuan Maut which is the actual name. I was utterly confused as to why am I not able to sync with the people on screen, their lip movements and the utterly pathetic dubbing with Indian sounding voices. Now please don’t call me a prude but I would rather you retain the dialogues in Bahasa and add sub titles.

Another interesting fact would be the director Gareth Evans who is actually of Welsh origin but based in Indonesia. Most of Raid Redemption is an exhibition of the Indonesian martial art – Pencak Silat. The lead actor Iko Uwais is an expert in this form and was probably an obvious choice. That he has reasonable screen presence is an added advantage I would say.

Serbuan Maut is literally translated into Deadly Invasion and I can say after watching the movie that is a deadly invasion alright. One which is lead by Seargent Jaka (Joe Taslim) and his SWAT Team. Rama (Iko Uwais) is one of the better resources that Jaka has at his disposal. They are at a decrepit building somewhere in Jakarta where they meet a source of Jaka – a Lt. Wahyu (Pierre Gruno).

They are all here to take down notorious Don Tama (Ray Sahetapy). One who is infamous not just for the drugs that he runs all across the country but also for his absolute ruthless nature. He runs the building as a tenancy of sorts and what our SWAT team is not aware is that to get to Tama they have to go through 14 floors or drug manufacturing and tenants who are basically Tama’s guards. Who are kept there primarily for a situation like this.

What follows is an exceptional exhibition of action cinema backed with some really good camera work. Sequences such as the ultra slow motion of the bullet leaving the gun and the resultant light that throws shadows across the dark aisles of the building are really well done. What gives the movie some substance is that fact that it is not just a random action movie which goes “wham bam thank you ma’m”. There is a sensible story line as well around Rama and why it is important for him to be there.

Evans’ direction is probably aided by the fact that he writes his own stories as well. For the action lovers in the house this one is a must watch. It lives up to its poster which says, “probably the best action movie in over a decade”. Not as good. But definitely up there in terms of quality action. 6 on 10 for certain.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3329270041/

Ishaqzaade

If there was ever a movie which could have been a great launch pad for 2 newbies in show business, it would have been Ishaqzaade. Writer Director Habib Faisal has given the proverbial lion’s share of the script and screen time to the lead pair in this story line which can be best described as Qayamat Se Qayamat Tak meets the true story of Bonnie and Clyde. Both the protagonists cannot remotely complain about not being given a chance to show what they are capable of or for that matter not capable of.

Habib Faisal is the director of what I called out as one of the top 5 movies from last year – Do Dooni Chaar. Not only did he leave a solid impression with his direction but also with his writing skills. One would have expected him to take his film making to the next level with Ishaqzaade and I would guess that he has given it his best. But this time around, one doesn’t leave the hall with a feeling of 100% satisfaction. I cannot really point out any flaws in the direction or writing per se. I can only say that it probably didn’t come together as well as DDC did last year. Nothing to be disappointed per say Habib Sir. No question about your skills out here.

The Chauhans and the Qureshis are the leading political rivals of a small town in UP called Almor. The youngest son of the Chauhan clan is your atypical village MLA’s son who believes that he owns the town simply because his family is a powerful one. He goes by the name of Parma (Arjun Kapoor) and as per his mother has actually taken the family name to a new level of disgrace. He is however not highly regarded by most of the family and chiefly his grandfather, Suraj Chauhan (Anil Rastogi).

The Qureshis on the other hand are the residing MLAs which just one concern – their firecracker daughter Zoya (Parineeti Chopra). She harbours hopes of being an MLA one day and is always @ loggerheads with Parma in college. One such violent encounter gets Parma to fall head over heels with Zoya. He is floored by her fearless approach to life in general. And over time Zoya begins to reciprocate. But the two are flirting with a possibility of a failed relationship. When was the last time a Hindu Muslim romance succeed in UP?

With music from Amit Trivedi which is probably below par, Ishaqzaade’s best performance actually comes from the support cast. Gauhar Khan in her role of the local village dance girl with precisely 10 minutes of screen time actually steals the show. I have always wondered why she doesn’t get more meaty roles. Even the aged Anil Rastogi was exceptional in his role as the Sr. Chauhan. I for one thought Arjun Kapoor was not remotely bad as the world seems to be saying. He did reasonably well to make the cut and can make it to better roles. People may not like his face though. Cannot classify his permanent scowl as good looking by a country mile.

People are raving about Parineeti Chopra but I think she has loads of confidence which typically gets confused with great acting talent. Give her time. The true talent will come to the fore if there is any. For now, she has had one role of an atypical Dilli girl in Ricky Bahl and this one. Not enough to make up ones mind regarding acting talent. Definitely strong and I am taking nothing away from her at all.

Ishaqzaade is not a bad movie at all like people are making it out to be. It is definitely worth a dekko. It has a lot of intensity. Could have been chopped at a few places. Also is predictable in a lot of places. But what it lacks in cuts, it makes up with intensity in all aspects. As I mentioned earlier, I thought Habib Faisal could have done a tad better than the 6 on 10 I am going to give it.

Trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg1mnWqUu_I

Sunday 6 May 2012

Fatso

If one were to go by the posters of Fatso, one would probably imagine that you will be getting into a movie that’s probably a bit slapstick. But then you would look at the star cast which has in the past given us good comedy. The likes of Ranvir Shorey or Purab Kohli for example. Not that you could say the same about Gul Panag who has been going through a patch which can be described as desperate of late. And then there is the aspect of the movie being directed by Rajat Kapoor. The story rritten by Rajat Kapoor and Saurabh Shukla. One will not blame you for giving the movie a chance right?

Fatso comes a cropper in each one of these points (except that of Gul Panag). Firstly, it is heavily inspired from the Hollywood flick Down to Earth which features Chris Rock and was released in 2001. So much for the originality that Rajat Kapoor and Saurabh Shukla were to get to the table. So we have Navin (Purab Kohli) who has proposed marriage to Nandini (Gul Panag). In a freak accident that was supposed to claim his close friend Sudeep aka Fatso (Ranvir Shorey), he gets picked up by the minion instead.

He figures this out when the mistake comes to the fore at a government like office which is the transit point before you get complete freedom from life. The bureaucracy upstairs is not able to correct the mistake in time. So Navin now doesn’t have a body because it has been cremated already. In the interim, Navin finds out that his close friend Yash (Neil Bhoopalam) has the hots for Nandini and is going to gun for her now that Navin is – erm – out of the way. After much persuasion, the General Manager upstairs provides him the option of swapping places with Sudeep which Navin takes gleefully.

The one aspect about Fatso that sticks out like a sore thumb is that it adds to the complete and utter capitulation that Gul Panag has seen in her acting. Where is the person we saw in the likes of Dor and Manorama Six Feet Under? I am sure she has been taken away by some ghost. What remains is the palest of all pseudo shadows that you can think of. Purab Kohli is very good in the limited screen time that he gets and the rest of the cast is above average except one Gunjan Bakshi who desperately needs an class in acting.

The music by Sagar Desai cannot keep you glued onto the screen in any manner. The script / dialogues is not very inspiring again. It would suffice to say that whoever was responsible did a below average job. Rajat Kapoor seems to have made this movie in some kind of a hurry because he has not paid any attention to details at all. Just went ahead and closed the movie out before the required deadlines. 4 on 10 is the best I would give Fatso. Watch it at your own risk.

Trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=otKcvjhj6B4

Safe

When you have Jason Statham in the lead in any movie even if it were the most serious of Shakespearean tragedies, you would walk in expecting a series of edge of the seat action sequences that leave you in a tizzy over a 3 minute segment. You would then get a 30 second break and then another 5 minute chase followed by a couple of minutes of a jog and a 4 minute breath taking action sequence that would blow your pants off in the literal sense of the word.

So if and when you would walk into watch Safe, why would you think anything otherwise I say. And with your due permission I would like to put your doubts to rest immediately and declare that Safe is all of the above and more. If you are a Statham fan or not, you are bound to enjoy the action sequences in this Boaz Yakin (director of Remember the Titans) movie. Before I go any further, I would say, grab yourself a popcorn, fasten your seat belts and enjoy the bleddy ride!!!

Mei (Catherine Chan) is a less than 10 year old Chinese girl who has her way with numbers. Numbers talk to her. She hates mathematics but is sadly really good at it. When her principal realizes this, he sets her up with Uncle Han (James Hong) who actually gets her kidnapped and sent off to the Big Apple to “help” with the family business. Now this aspect of the movie I really didn’t get.

But it doesn’t take rocket science to figure out that her next assignment is to remember a code. A series of numbers on an A5 paper that to her mean nothing but mean a lot to the local Russian Gangs who are perennially at war against the local Chinese Gangs. But all of this is without the involvement of prize fighter Luke Wright (Statham). Not till he gets into trouble with the Russians for winning a fight that he was supposed to lose in the 2nd round. The result – The Russians kill his wife and leave him in the lurch. It takes a few minutes of screen time before Mei and Wright cross paths. The rest as they say is A grade testosterone.

A complete “Man Movie” from about 15 minutes in for the next 75 odd minutes with slick direction and some ice cold looking performances from the one and only Jason Statham. I have seen only 2 expressions from Statham to date. One which is what everyone is familiar with – the pug faced one which really can be described only as expressionless. And the smile that he gives @ the end of The Italian Job. Don’t expect anything more this time either. But Safe is a safe bet to watch. Not for kids mind you because there is some mind numbing violence to put it mildly. 6.5 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2055184665/

Saturday 5 May 2012

Jannat 2

I believe that it is time for Mahesh Bhatt to open a school or write a book on the art of making successful cinema – mind you, the operative word here being successful. Not brilliant cinema. Just a book that gives young movie makers an insight into what goes into making a hit movie. A few tricks that I have picked up from a genre of cinema that I would like to call – Mahesh Bhatt as under

1. Ensure there is a super hot woman in the movie even if she has no clue about the first thing that goes into acting. If she knows a bit of acting as is the case with Esha Gupta then you have a better chance of success
2. Ensure that there is at least one hit song in the movie. One which people remember for a really long time and identify at the first note that this is from a movie called XYZ – in this case Jannat 2
3. Ensure there is enough use of language that people can identify with. One that they don’t associate with regular cinema and therefore gets people a bit amused. For e.g. “Mere sar pe kya CHUTIYA likha hai”? Or get the hero to mouth the words “Iski to maa ki” and ensure that it is visible
4. Ensure that the story line is one that doesn’t put people to sleep. Preferably pick up a new topic like illegal small arms dealing – one which is right there for the taking and has surprisingly never been dealt with before.
5. Pick average stars who can hold their own on the screen and hope and pray that one of them comes up with a stellar performance like Randeep Hooda does in the movie under consideration. Even if that doesn’t happen, you haven’t paid too much and will ensure with the previous 4 points that you at least break even. If you get a hit performance they you will laugh your way to the bank.
6. Just enough of action, short chases, some shooting etc. that acts as the seasoning on a salad. The right amount to spice things up.
7. Throw in a sex scene and around 4 to 5 kisses for good measure. As they say – salt to taste

So my dear readers, if you guys were to follow the above instructions and ever make a movie then ensure that you pay obeisance to the great Mahesh Bhatt who mastered this art and has been magnanimous enough to pass it on to directors such as Kunal Deshmukh who are now well on their way to mastering the art. I thought Jannat 2 could have done with a name change at least. The title sounds very corny. Even if they had named it Sonu Dilli KKC (what a campaign I say!!!) it would have been great. Try catching up with this one whenever you can. You will not be bored. 6 on 10.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi387949337/

Friday 4 May 2012

Mirror Mirror

Tarsem Singh Dhandwar’s first directorial attempt was with a movie that very few could understand. I was part of the other half of people. The Cell starring J Lo was a movie that had so many layers in it that one got lost in a matter of minutes. Regretably, it didn’t work out. I haven’t seen his next movie – The Fall – but a curious fact presented itself to me while researching for Mirror Mirror. Tarsem was the Assistant Director for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. Now I haven’t heard of any director who would have gone back to being an Assistant after directing 2 full length features. Speaks volumes about the man’s courage and I guess it did manifest itself a bit in Immortals which released last year (and was part of the list of movies I missed ).

With Mirror Mirror, Tarsem has given himself a chance to be considered as a director of substance and more importantly, one who wants to stick around for a while. Tarsem’s take on Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs is made very slickly with the right mix of special effects and performances. I guess it was only a matter of time that someone took the story of Red Rose’s sister to the big screen in a big way. And it was also only a matter of time before Julia Roberts played a negative role isn’t it? So Tarsem kills 2 birds with one stone.

The Evil Queen (Julia Roberts) has schemed away over the years and finally uses her magic to get rid of the king (Sean Bean). Over the next few years, she fritters away all the money that is available to her and resorts to more and more taxes to take care of her lavish lifestyle. She is assisted in this effort by her timid and reluctant aide Brighton (Nathan Lane). Her source of power comes from the Mirror which is beautifully shown at right angles to the world. The Mirror keeps warning her about the fact that magic comes with its own price and is never without any adverse effects. But she pays little heed and continues with her ways.

When Snow White (Lily Collins) turns eighteen, she ventures out of the castle and first bumps into Prince Alcott (Armie Hammer) and then into the seven dwarfs who play giants by using flexible stilts. Their names – Butcher, Half Pint, Grub, Napoleon, Chuckles, Grim and Wolf. Together, they get the evil queen to her knees and regain control of the castle.

Mirror Mirror is a wonderful adaptation of the Brothers Grimm classic. Jason Keller (Machine Gun Preacher) and Melissa Wallack (Meet Bill) have combined to give us an exciting adventure. It is peppered with some nice corny dialogues – corny but really nice. Like, “Don’t do that. The prince has to come in to save the princess. It has been focus grouped and it works the best”. And the performances across the board are near perfect with Julia Roberts taking the cake. I really liked this one. I am going to stick my neck out and give it a 6.5 on 10. Try and catch up with it on the big screen.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3708919321/

Thursday 3 May 2012

The Avengers

Bleddy Hell!!! If there was ever a super hero movie which was every man’s dream come alive then it has to be this one right? Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.), Captain America (Chris Evans), Thor (Chris Hemsworth), Hawkeye (Jeremy Renner) and The Incredible Hulk (Mark Ruffalo) all packed into one adrenaline pumping, edge of the seat riot in an attempt to save the world from Thor’s psycho brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston). And yes, before I forget, the glam quotient is covered by undoubtedly the hottest woman in Hollywood today – Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson).

The much awaited Avengers was actually a sequel of sorts into which we got a sneak peek at the end of both Iron Man 2 and Thor if I am not mistaken. The Avengers programme run by the secret organization S. H. I. E. L. D. had been disbanded many years back by the Council. But Director Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson) chose to keep the programme dormant over time with our six super heroes.

He didn’t kill the programme completely. All for the day when there would be something undesirable that would take us by surprise. He was also working on a secret programme to build a machine using THE CUBE (a source of unlimited energy) that would be capable of taking on any alien invasion whatsoever. Therefore, when Loki decides that he needs to pay earth a visit so that he can trade it for getting back onto the throne, Director Fury has no other choice but to activate The Avengers.

Non Stop Action is the hall mark of The Avengers. As they say in advertising parlance – You wanted it. You got it!!! Whether you are watching The Black Widow take on the Russians in a supreme display of acrobatics and fist fighting OR you are watching The Avengers, together taking on the aliens which come in towards the end. Either ways, you are in for a visual treat that you will remember for a really long time. One can argue that it is only special effects all the way but then the effects are completely mind blowing!!! It could so easily have been ruined with a lack of attention to the minor details.

I walked into The Avengers expecting a damp squib. While it may not have the class of great Oscar block busters or not find its way into the imdb top 250, it sure checks all the boxes that good action movies do. Do not go expective performances – one cannot when you have the likes of Evans and Hemsworth playing pivotal roles. The rest of the cast is however quite good. Expect some super one liners from Iron Man such as when Captain America tells him, “Stark – we need a plan of attack” and he responds, “I have a plan – Attack”!!! Non stop entertainer as I mentioned backed with a good story. 7.5 on 10. Watch it!!!

Oh and yes, once again – released one week prior to US release in India (so the press releases said)!!! WOW!!! We are getting there folks.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3899040025/

Tezz

Akash Rana (Ajay Devgn) is has just completed his engineering and wants to start a business of his own. He is in love with Nikita (Kangana Ranaut) who is a British Citizen. Much against her father’s wishes, she marries him. Akash becomes successful to the point of teasing his father in law with a new Mini Cooper that he purchases within no time. The father in law of course drives a Bentley and looks the other way.

All is hunky dory to the extent that Akash even helps out a couple of people. Firstly, he saves Megha (Sameera Reddy) from the hands of the police who are about to deport her. He also helps Adil (Zayed Khan) with a job at his engineering firm. Now the tricky part is that all of the above is illegal. Hilarious isn’t it? The Brits are trying to get illegal immigrants out of the country and our people have started a mini racket of sorts.

Akash of course gets caught and deported. The other 2 escape. Everything that Akash had saved up for is over. Now he seeks revenge. Revenge against the people who were basically doing their job right? But no, Akash believes in the concept of a world without borders and wants the Brits to suffer – Kyonki aaj izzat milti nahin hai. Chheen ni padti hai (You don’t get respect these days. You have to snatch it). Therefore, he decides to leave a bomb on Train no. 121 from London to Glasgow. That’s when the ride begins.

Now the basic premise of the movie is really ridiculous but then there are crazy people across the world who believe that they should be allowed to work in other countries without proper permits. That kept aside, Tezz has some really good work from Priyadarshan for a change. All chase sequences are really well shot. The outstanding one being where Megha is being chased by half the cops of Great Britain.

There are also sequences of Zayed Khan’s body double (quite obviously) providing a fantastic exhibition of Parkour or free running as they call it. The funny part is Anil Kapoor being able to emulate them at the same pace. So on one hand, the finishing is much better than most of the movies seen of late but on the other, you have too many inconsistencies. I guess, one can never get a perfect Hindi movie that needs effects.

Decent performances from most of the cast including the otherwise insipid Ranaut – except one scene where she is totally over the top about communicating her pregnancy to Akash. The only person who forever surprises me with his capability of getting movies is Zayed Khan. No acting classes can help this person. Not even Vishal Bharadwaj with all due respect to VB. Mohanlal and Boman Irani are outstanding in their respective roles.

If you have seen Taking of Pelham 123 and Unstoppable and Speed and any other runaway train movies then there is nothing new in Tezz. If not, you could actually enjoy it. 5 on 10. Worth a dekko for certain. You will not leave disappointed.

Valid point also to be noted – and we need to give credit where it is due – Tezz is shot predominantly in English and dubbed in Hindi later for Indian audiences. I would love to see the English version sometime. It would actually take up the movie a notch I am guessing.

Trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi1057359641/