Katti Batti (Hindi) (2015)

Nikhil Advani is definitely not known for brilliant movies with the one exception of D-Day where he made his only genuine attempt to aid the effort of quality cinema in Bollywood.  Back to Back releases in a week may indicate that Shri Advani over estimated his prowess in the field of direction.  Regretably he has botched up both stories – one which was a classic and the other that had a lot of promise.

D-Day (Hindi) (2013)

Nikhil Advani’s rap sheet in Bollywood is not the most attractive to begin with.  Salaam E Ishq was too long, Chandni Chowk to China was horrible, Delhi Safari was an animation disaster.  He was tolerable in Patiala House.  But with D-Day he seems to have learnt the fine art of Bollywood cinema – doesn’t say too much about him though. Because it is still B Town.  Not H Town.

Delhi Safari

I must admit first of all that a few minutes into Delhi Safari, I started losing interest and my ability to stay awake for too long. I, however, managed to stay awake all the way through using quite a bit of my will power in the process.

Now, Delhi Safari is not just an outright bad movie by any stretch of imagination. It is just that we may be the biggest suppliers for animation world over but when it comes to creating animation movies ourselves, we fall woefully short. I wonder why?

Delhi Safari tracks the story of a bunch of animals who stay in the Sanjay Gandhi National Park in Borivili, Mumbai. Thankfully, the animals are the same ones that are found around this area. A family of leopards – Sultan (Suniel Shetty), Begum (Urmila Matondkar) and their cub Yuvraj (Swini Khara).

Then there is the laid back and sensible Bagga the Bear (Boman Irani). But the chief mischief maker and the grey character is the monkey – Bajrangi (Govinda) who harbours hopes of ruling the jungle because as per him – the monkeys used to rule the world much before man came in.

Trouble starts brewing when rampant construction starts moving into the park and in the bargain, Sultan gets killed. The rest of the animals, pushed by Yuvraj’s innocence and confidence decide to take their voices all the way to Delhi – to the powers that be. Accompanying them is Alex (Akshaye Khanna), a parrot – who is the only animal who can speak the language that us humans understand.

Now, here was a superb opportunity to pivot India into the fascinating world of animation. There was a story that had a strong social angle. There were characters which were created quite well and true to the local landscape. The voice overs were to be done by a bunch of really talented people – Govinda, Boman Irani, Sanjay Mishra, Saurabh Shukla and even Prem Chopra were really good with their voices.

But there were the tacky dialogues and weak one liners that fall flat. And most importantly, when you feel that the paws of the animals don’t look like they are touching the ground – you feel the disappointment. Why not spend that extra bit of money to get the end product finished well. Always the case with Indian animation – penny wise, pound moronic – not just foolish. 5 on 10. Watch on TV if ever it comes up there.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMem1yAmAQw

Patiala House

In marketing parlance, hype is defined as “an ingenious or questionable claim, method, etc., used in advertising, promotion, or publicity to intensify the effect” or simple put exaggerated publicity; hoopla. And why are we discussing the concept of hype? Isnt this supposed to be a blog that reviews movies and not give a lecture in marketing and choicest terms. You would be right on both counts. But how in the blazes am I supposed to explain a character called Askhay Kumar who is the least talented of all actors that Bollywood has to offer today but is still one of the highest paid actors around – and if sources are to be believed – THE HIGHEST PAID ACTOR in Bollywood today. It has been nearly a decade that we saw AK with any semblance of acting talent left in him. I am referring to his comic timing in Hera Pheri which has since then deserted him. In what can only be described as a desperate attempt to try and portray himself as a versatile actor, our man has attempted Patiala House and has come up with one of THE most insipid performances that one could have expected out of anyone. The only way he is going to get somewhere is if he ensures that the producers pick up a cast who is worse than him. On current form, it would still be difficult for AK to make any headway.

Gurtej Kahlon (Rishi Kapoor) is a man who is obsessed with the idea that all Brits are part of this large scheme that is ensuring that he and his family are treated like second grade citizens. And everything can be sorted out by shouting and screaming of course. Now all of this stems from a series of racially discriminating incidents in South Hall and the death of a key member of the community which is often referred to as Mini Punjab. Gurtej takes it upon himself to get him and his people a right to a first grade citizen life. Only, somewhere along the way he also forgets that his mission has been achieved a long time back. He continues to run Patiala House like a dictator would with no one in the family or for that matter the community being allowed to have a mind of their own. He also doesn’t let his own son Parghat Singh Kahlon aka Gattu and eventually aka Kaali (Akshay Kumar) pursue his dream of playing cricket (which he is damn good at) for England. Gattu now runs a store in South Hall. Till Simran (Anushka Sharma) and Zeeshan (Devansh Daswani) walk into his life and start asking questions. Along with the rest of the oppressed family they force Gattu to take his 2nd lease of life (he gets a call 17 years later) seriously and go for the trials. Obviously you know what will happen next.

Nikhil Advani doesn’t seem to have learnt from his CC2C debacle or for that matter his previous 2 attempts. Maybe they should make it mandatory for people to have experience before they get into mainstream direction. To make matters worse, he also takes the credit for writing the story. Its fiction but there should be some logic or consistency in the story. How can the cricket board of a country decide to sack every single player for lack of performance. At least call it out as some fraud or match fixing allegations. Just sacked. Right from the insipid titling of the movie one can make out that the next 150 minutes are going to be a bit of a challenge. There are moments when the screen light up with Anushka’s smile (does anyone in Bollywood have a better one today) and some quirky moments and yes the overall concept is endearing but that doesn’t qualify it to be even an average movie. Rishi Kapoor, I thought for the first time took his role a bit too seriously and was just that wee bit over the top. Dimple shows her class in the 3 minutes of screen time that she has and does a far better job of it than AK. I have said this earlier and I say this again – Anushka Sharma is the next big thing in Bollywood. Solid talent and huge levels of talent to boot. A bit over the top here but only a wee bit and that too in parts. Other than that, music is the only saving grace of Patiala House. Shankar Ehsaan Loy again delivers a solid performance here. Overall a 4 on 10. Oh and yes, a minor highlight of the movie would be the actress who goes by the name Selina Hotwani. How Hot I say. Have a lovely weekend folks

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_EqgIh5lEu8&feature=fvst