Monday 27 September 2010

500 Days of Summer

YEAH!!!! 50 REVIEWS AND COUNTING!!!!!

“This is a story about boy meets girl. But this is not a love story”. 500 Days of Summer starts with this claim. But when your cast includes the boy faced Joseph Gordon Levitt and the even more sweet looking Zooey Deschanel, that’s a tall claim to make. Nevertheless, around 90 minutes later, one has no other choice but to agree with this claim. 500 Days of Summer is definitely not your run of the mill love story. In fact it isn’t a love story.

Tom Hansen (JG Levitt) is a greeting card writer. He is a qualified architect. But it doesn’t quite work out and now he finds himself writing cards. His life revolves around his 2 best friends, McKenzie (Geoffrey Arend) and Paul (Matthew Gray Gubler). And his little but not so little sister Rachel (Chloe Moretz). He believes that there is “The One” for every person in the world. He is your regular Romeo in search for his Juliet. Summer Finn (Zoey Deschanel) – yes the movie isn’t about the season – joins the organization as an assistant to Vance (Clark Gregg). Tom is instantly smitten. But he is too scared to make any moves. But he does manage to make some small conversation. First when Summer tells him about her love for the band “Smiths” and then at a small office get together.

Things however start building up only when they get together at a Karaoke session where they have their first real conversation. Turns out Summer is not one to believe in “Love”. What does it mean anyways. Life is too short. Best have as much fun and not get into any sort of commitments. “I don’t want to be known as anybody’s somebody” is the motto that she lives by. But there’s something about Tom that she finds attractive. She is not able to put a finger on it but one thing leads to another and the 2 just hit it off. But at no point of time does she want to solidify the relationship by taking it to the next level. She just wants to be best friends – with benefits of course. However, she does go on behaving like a girl friend would.

500 days of Summer is made in a non-chronological fashion. A method of movie making which one Quentin Tarantino is a complete expert. But director Marc Webb does full justice to the style of movie making. There is very little use of music. Webb has made great use of the term “pregnant pauses” and also flirts with being an arty kind of movie as well. The movies deals with a topic that is not been explored too often – in fact I cannot quite remember any movie that has dealt with the pain of a break up. The process of healing after you have been hit really hard squarely on the face with the fact that all the effort has come to naught. The pain of playing back every little scene in an “endless loop” just to figure out if there is a little moment that you missed out. All this in a relationship that you have put everything you had into and left no stone unturned whatsoever.

Joseph Gordon Levitt has for the better part of his life been associated with teeny bopper movies. But of late, I must say, he has come of age. With Inception and 500 days of Summer, he has probably taken a step in the right direction of maximizing his potential. Zooey Deschanel is one of the prettiest (not gorgeous – pretty) faces you can see in Hollywood. Totally girl next door. And quite a decent actress. In her role of Summer Finn I think she was very good to say the least. She looked most comfortable as a mid twenties girl who is comfortable without giving a relationship any status or name. Not the happiest of movies to watch but a very different topic. Peppered with decent performances from the support cast. Definitely worth a dekko. 6 on 10.

When in Rome

Beth (Kirsten Bell) is a workaholic curator @ the Gugenhiem in New York. Her life revolves around her job which she uses as an excuse for her singledom. For her apparent lack of faith in a concept called love. Although she secretly pines to find “the one”, she doesn’t have the courage to take the plunge. She is in for a not so pleasant surprise when her baby sister, Joan (Alexis Dziena) decides to tie the knot within 2 weeks of knowing Umberto (Luca Calvani), an average hot blooded, gorgeous Italian. Beth is shocked out of her wits because her rational side cannot accept the fact that her sister has decided to settle down within a time that is not even sufficient for a reasonable “credit check”.

Now Beth has an exhibition of art centred around the theme of “pain” coming up and her boss Celeste (Anjelica Houston) all but threatens to fire her if she is unable to ensure that the main exhibit reaches the venue on time. Assuring her of being on top of her job, she rushes to Rome for her sister’s wedding where she bumps into the clumsy best man Nick Beamon (Josh Duhamel). Nick and Umberto were together @ university where Nick was labeled “The Hit” thanks to being struck by lightning during a football game. That successfully ended his career in football and he finds himself now writing copy for the sports section in a local publication in New York.

There is an instant chemistry between Beth and Nick and despite her best efforts Beth cannot stop herself from making the first move. However, her excitement is short lived when she sees Nick kissing a hot chick in a red dress @ the famous fountain of love in Rome. Beth, yet again, is disappointed with love and spends the rest of the evening getting drunk @ the fountain. In her dismay, she also decides to pick up 5 coins from the fountain to prevent the 5 wishes from coming true. Whats the point of being in love anyways right? Wrong. Not when u try this stunt at the fountain of love. Legend has it that if you pick up a coin from the fountain then u have accepted the love of a person and therefore have cast a spell on the person who has thrown the coin into the fountain. The next thing you know, Beth has 4 men who are running after her in New York city. An unsuccessful Italian painter – Antonio (Will Arnet), A model who is a narcissist personified – Gale (Dax Shepherd), A street magician who doesn’t have the confidence in performing live – Lance (John Heder) and A Meat Baron who has recently broken up with his wife – Al Russo (Danny De Vito). Now wait a minute… who is the 5th person? Will Beth find true love? Will she be able to get rid of her 4 stalkers? You will need to watch WiR to find out!!!

Mark Steven Johnson’s first attempt @ a RomCom doesn’t come off too well. His previous efforts were with Dare Devil which flopped quite badly at the BO and Ghost Rider which did pretty well. The direction in these 2 was nothing close to stellar. With WiR he maintains the un-stellar direction. Must give him points for consistency. The story though is compact and well narrated. Not dragged around too unnecessarily. Finishes off in under 90 minutes. With some slapstick situational humour thrown in. Keeps one reasonably entertained. But nevertheless is not too inspiring in any ways. In a nut shell there is nothing too new really other than the fictional spell that is cast by the Fountain of Love. Acting is at best average with the exception of Danny De Vito who in his bit part continues to fascinate you with his ease of essaying any role that is given to him. Ditto for Angelica Houston. But it beats me why these 2 great actors chose to play a part in a below average movie like WiR. I had missed this out when it hit the screens a few months back. Would probably say it was worth the DVD but then I am an addict to movies. 4 on 10 for this one. Thoda disappointing.

Shanghai

Sincerest of apologies to my half a dozen followers. I had seen this one a week ago but for some reason completely missed out posting the review. I assure you that such lapses will not occur in the future.

The year is 1941. Most of china has been taken over by Japan. But for a small sea port towards the south east of China – Shanghai - A cosmopolitan pot pourri which hosts people from several nationalities. America has not yet entered the war. Paul Soames (John Cusack) comes into Shanghai looking for his close friend Connor (Jeffrey Dean Morgan). Soames is an undercover spy who poses as a journalist who would be working for the Shanghai Herald. To add to his cover, he writes articles that also provide readers the counter point of view – a softer stand in favour of the German position in the war. Most people don’t like his stand but the Germans aren’t complaining. It helps Soames get into several parties hosted by Germans.

By the time Soames gets into Shanghai, he has made friends with Mrs. Meuller (Franka Potente) who has moved to Shanghai with her husband who is a Naval Engineer. But he doesn’t land up in time to prevent Connor from being murdered in a dark alley. Soames is positive that Connor has stumbled upon something which is of great importance but didn’t have complete concrete evidence of the same. He tries hard to convince his boss about it but without proof it falls flat. So he sets off on his own little adventure to uncover what Connor knew.

Now Shanghai is controlled by Anthony Lan Ting (Chow Yun Fat), a gangster who is married to Anna (Gong Li) – the daughter of the leader of the resistance in China at that time. Knowing fully well that it will be difficult to swim against the tide, Anthony bites the bullet and does key odd jobs for Tanaka (Ken Watanabe) who is a Japanese colonel based in Shanghai. Soames knows that for him to make any headway to uncover Connor’s killer, he has to get through to Anthony

It has been a really long time since a quality war movie has been made. The last one would have been the double header that we were treated to from Mr. Clint Eastwood. I guess the wait will have to continue. But then Shanghai cannot be termed as a war movie in the true sense of the word. Its got a heavy dose of romance and loads of espionage also thrown in for good measure. Although Mikael Kalstrom’s direction is just about at par, what takes this movie to the next level is the absolutely amazing screen presence and execution by our Asian Stars. Ken Watanabe has been and continues to be one of my favourite actors. And Chow Yun Fat has come a really long way from his days of Kung Fu. Gong Li in her role of the distraught daughter of the slain resistance leader is simple magnificient. Not to mention that she looks ethereal. John Cusack suddenly pales in comparison to these phenomenal actors. And mind you, Cusack is no push over when it comes to the acting department.

The rest of the cast is quite passé. Nothing else really stands out in the entire movie. I was a tad disappointed. The edge of the seat excitement is definitely missing. The story winds as much as the yellow river I am sure – for a little under two hours. What makes it worse is the predictability of the entire plot. Doesn’t take more than 20 minutes into the movie to figure out what and how its going to end. Full credit, however, to the art director. The sets were superb!!! That, unfortunately cannot carry the entire movie on its own. Shanghai gets a 5 on 10 from my end.

Friday 17 September 2010

All About Steve

Quiz question – Who or what is a cruciverbalist? Its not a random tongue twister that I am teasing you with on an average Friday. It is someone who makes crosswords for a living. I am serious. Newspapers pay serious monies to the people who make those black and white checkerboards with clues around them that make you go completely insane. So what would a cruciverbalist be like. Someone who is very good with words right? And someone who would be extremely good with information which can be twisted along with words to give you amazingly warped clues. In short someone who in most parlances is referred to as – A NERD. Sigh!!! The story of life. If you know lots of stuff they call u a nerd. If you don’t then they call you daft.

Nevertheless, one such nice looking lady cruciverbalist is Mary Horowitz (Sandra Bullock). She works for the Sacramento Herald. She wears Red Boots that stand out like a neon sign. And she is nerd personified. She is single and stays with her parents under the pretext that her house is getting fumigated. Despite the best efforts of her parents and friends, she avoids meeting any guys. However, things change when she goes the local school for career day to explain what she does. The kids are first of all surprised to hear that people get paid for doing crossword puzzles. They also mock her when she mentions her residential status and salary. So she changes her mind about the blind date that her parents have set up for her that evening. Hoping to find someone who is reasonable she is elated to find the gorgeous cameraman for CCN Steve (Bradley Cooper).

Now Mary has a problem other than the fact that she is a nerd. She is a really talkative nerd. Talkative enough to drive most people up the wall. More importantly she hasn’t been laid for quite a while now. Once in the confines of his truck / station wagon, her enthusiasm gets the better of her and she is all over Steve – right outside her house if I may add. Now Steve maybe good looking but he is severely taken aback with the enthusiasm. Not to mention the Verbal Diarrhoea. In the immense pressure, he fakes an official emergency and scoots off. However, he does make the cardinal error of telling Mary that he would have loved to take her along with him to Boston but unfortunately Mary has work to attend. Smitten by Steve, Mary spends the whole night making her crossword which turns out to be “All about Steve”. Steve’s eye colour, hair colour, his job, his shirt etc. etc. etc. In short, she gets fired for being unprofessional. But Mary takes this as a sign to hit the road with Steve. En route she meets Elizabeth (Katy Mixon) and Howard (DJ Qualls) who help her in the chase for Steve.

AAS takes a look into 2 broad topics. Firstly the nonsense that the media covers these days and the extent to which anchors are willing to go to “generate” saleable news. The other more important aspect is the search for the answer to the eternal question – what should I look for in my partner? Who is normal? It aptly finishes by asking people “To find your own normal” and not change who you are for anyone. After all if you have to stalk someone then what is the point really? The narration is tight and doesn’t go all over the place. Director Phil Traill has kept the movie short and crisp with nothing that you can call unnecessary or force fitted. Sandra Bullock essay’s the role of the nerdy Mary Horowitz extremely well but her age definitely showed. I am sure there are better makeup artists in Hollywood. Never been a huge fan of Brad Cooper and he doesn’t give me enough reason to change my stance. AAS is definitely an entertaining RomCom. I give it 5 on 10.

Sunday 12 September 2010

Resident Evil - After Life

Clones of Alice (Mila Jovovich) attempt to destroy the Umbrella corporation base @ Tokyo. All the clones get eliminated when Albert Wesker (Shawn Roberts) manages to escape and self destructs the entire base. However, the original Alice manages to find her way to the aircraft. As she is about to kill Wesker, he injects her with a neutralizer for the T Virus which is responsible for making her super human. Before he can kill her, the aircraft crashes onto the terrain and only Alice emerges from the wreckage. Six months of searching for life and a place called Arcadia leads her to Alaska where she finds the helicopter which Claire (Ali Larter) had used for her escape in the previous edition. Just as Alice is about to give up hope, Claire appears but attacks Alice. Alice manages to subdue Claire and finds a spider like gadget attached to her chest which she removes. When Claire regains consciousness, she is unable to recognize Alice or what happened before.

Claire and Alice take to the air once again searching for life. After cruising through the west coast of Canada and San Francisco, they finally arrive @ LA where they see the first sign of life atop a building. Alice crash lands the plane atop the building and meets Luther West (Boris Kodjoe), Bennet (Kim Coates), Crystal (Kacey Barnfield), Kim Yong (Norman Yeung) and Angel Ortiz (Sergio Peris – Mencheta). These guys have also heard the broadcast of Arcadia but know that it is a ship docked off the coast of LA, visible from the building top. They are disappointed that Alice was not the help they were expecting but they take her into the fold. After a bit, Alice finds out that there are 2 other occupants, a suspected criminal Chris (Wentworth Miller) and another human, Wendell (Fulvio Cecere). Together, they start plotting for a method to get out of the building and towards Arcadia.

REAL is the 4th in the franchise built out of a video game. The absolutely awesome special effects are retained in this edition as well. If anything, it gets better. Despite the fact that the lead pair is made of 2 women, the action is at par if not better than any of the so called “Man Movies” that I keep speaking about. The 3D experience would be totally worth it although I did manage to catch up with just the 2D version. All the action sequences are not brilliant but a couple of them are totally superb. The first one which involved the re-entry of Alice with her clones and the second one which is outstanding is with Claire and Alice taking on the Axe Man.

REAL retains the blood and gore that has come to be associated with the previous editions. And it also retains the gaffes. I have always wondered how Alice and Claire manage to retain their makeup even after they come out of a fight sequence, completely drenched. Some advertisement for permanent lipstick I am sure. Not to mention the fact that their acting talents leave a lot to be desired…. A LOT!!!! The support cast is pretty quite average. But Paul Anderson’s direction helps REAL retain the niche and fan following that it has created for itself. The amount of green screen sequences used would probably take REAL into the record books for sure. If you are a fan of the series then this one is a must watch. Not too many points for quality of movie making but 5 on 10 purely for the action sequences that are quite good. And for those who think this is it, Anderson leaves room for a fifth edition as well. I had mentioned it in the past but at the risk of repeating myself, “A successful franchise is one that is scaleable”. RE definitely is!!!

We Are Family

The bane of “We Are Family”, surprisingly is the fact that it was probably not positioned or marketed to the right target audience. If there was a compelling effort made to get across the relevant middle class housewife in India, it would have managed to achieve much much much more success than it actually achieved @ the BO. But then KJo these days manages to make most of his monies from the US and UK markets. So much so that it would seem clearly that he has forgotten that there are a billion plus people in this country who would probably enjoy a movie like WAF.

Aman (Arjun Rampal) & Shreya (Kareena Kapoor) are a couple very much in love. Aman, however, has been married before to Maya (Kajol). Its been 3 years since their divorce but there are also 3 children in question – Aaliya (Aachal Munjal), Arjun (Nominath Ginsberg) and Anjali (Diya Sonecha). Aman wants Shreya to meet the kids and get to know them. And 3 years seems sufficient time for the kids to have gotten used to the concept of their father not being married to their biological mother anymore. With this in mind, he gets Shreya along with him to Anjali’s birthday party. But getting the kids to accept Shreya turns out to be a whole different ball game. Hell breaks loose in the first meeting when Shreya ruins the birthday cake and then Aaliya takes off in a few minutes when she sees Aman consoling Shreya. The kids call Shreya a witch for spoiling their party and Maya is not of much help either.

Shreya, swears never to get to know them. But as luck would have it, she has no other choice on a weekend where Aman doesn’t land up to pick up the kids because he misses his flight and Maya is not reachable. Shreya does her best to get on the right side of the kids but they continue to give her a really tough time. Shreya sweet talks here way with Anjali and Arjun but then Aaliya is your average 13 year old who continues to be a tough nut to crack. Nevertheless, Shreya keeps at it and takes the kids with her to work where Anjali saves the day. She takes the kids after that for ice-cream. And just as everything seems to be falling into place, Aaliya plays spoilsport. She tells Anjali that Shreya is trying to butter them because she wants to take their father away from them. Anjali runs away but is quickly found at the cop station with Maya. Aman also joins them. After a few heated words, Maya very clearly asks Shreya to stay away from the kids unless supervised by her.

WAF, as most of you would know by now, is a copy of “Step Mom”. But I am not sure if most of you know that it is a Columbia Tristar Release. Yes my dears, the influence of the west is slowly but surely creeping into the country. And therefore, you are seeing producers such as KJo being very candid in accepting that the movie is a copy. Does a lot for the goodwill in the export market eh? Better late than never I say.

And the era of the debutante director also continues in Bollywood. Siddharth Malhotra, I m sure would have liked a less soppy project to start with. But with him proudly proclaiming that KJo is his guru and that he will stay with KJo till he is kicked out, one does have doubts about his orientation. Nevertheless, he does a pretty decent job with WAF. He could not have influenced the story much. But he does his 2 bits by getting as much he can out of an otherwise quite uninspired star cast. Kajol is way off her best, Kareena better than average and Arjun Rampal pleasantly better than average. The kids do their best to get the cutey pie image to the fore. However, the make up department totally sucks. Kajol looks anything but suffering from a terminal disease. Kareena in the final scene doesn’t look a day older considering that it would have been at least 10 years after the scene before. Arjun Rampal’s beard in the final sequence is totally eew!!!! But then again, consistency is not what one would expect from a KJo movie.

As a movie I would give WAF 5 on 10. It’s a sad movie :’), A complete tear jerker. But it is definitely not a bad movie. It doesn’t do justice to Step Mom but then one cannot replace the performances of Susan Sarandon, Julia Roberts and Ed Harris. And Sid Malhotra can in no way be compared to Chris Columbus. Worth watching with the family.

Friday 10 September 2010

Dabangg

Whenever I see a Salman Khan movie, I am reminded of my time in Chennai for a couple of years. 1998 Diwali saw the release of Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. What I wasn’t expecting though is the reaction that the crowd gave to the entry of Salman. The only other time that I have seen such adulation for any actor in Chennai would obviously involve “Rajni mera god, rajni mera bhagavan, rajni mera sab kuch”. I was seriously surprised that the PVR Mulund crowd turned out to be very well behaved with just a little bit of whistling and cat calls when Chulbul a.k.a. Robin Hood Pandey (Salman Khan) makes his appearance sporting an absolutely fabulous new look which most people that I have spoken to have liked. Yes Salman, the verdict on the pencil moustache is that you must keep it on… at least for a while.

Anyways, getting to the story. Chulbul and Makkhi Pandey are step brothers. Prajapati Pandey (Vinod Khanna) and Naini (Dimple Kapadia) get married when she loses her husband and is left with a 2 year old son – Chulbul….. yes you can laugh your guts out at this stage itself…. I mean parents would have really hated their kids to name them Chulbul and Makkhi!!!!! Nevertheless, CB grows up under the shadow of a step father with no bonding whatsoever and swears that he will make it his mission in life to be more respected that either of them when he grows up. 21 years later, we find CB chasing down a bunch of dacoits who have just looted a bank. In the ensuing fight, he gets the money back but decides to keep it with himself (don’t ask why OR how). Turns out that the money belongs to Chhedi Singh (Sonu Sood) and Mr. Dacoit was part of his band of goons collecting funds for the upcoming elections. CB, however, refuses to pay obeisance to Chhedi and a delectable rivalry develops.

In the meantime Makhanlal b.k.a. (“better known as” for the not so logical ) Makkhi (Arbaaz Khan) has grown up to still disappoint his father and continues to be good for nothing. How he manages to find himself a woman is beyond me but he is romantically involved with Nirmala (Mahi Gill) and they want to get married. But Nirmala’s father (Tinnu Anand) will hear nothing of it coz Sr. Pandey wants a huge amount in dowry. So he asks Makkhi to first sort out his differences with papa dear. As luck would have it, Makkhi gets his hands on big brother’s cupboard keys and promptly steals the money, gets cot by mummy in the process, but with no choice, keeps the money. As all of this is going on, CB has already gone bonkers over Rajo (the oh so gorgeous Sonakshi Sinha).

Yes it is true… what the promos are calling out… He is back this Eid… And he is back with Dabangg!!!! An amazingly cheesy movie with absolutely nothing new in the story. And yet the crowds go gaga and were whistling and cat calling through the little over 2 hours that first time director Abhinav Kashyap dishes out. A repeat of Wanted from last Eid. But this one is kind of pale in comparison. Sallu Bhai retains his pivotal role and brilliant dialogues which take some time to grow on you. So if you are not a fan of the movies such as Wanted then avoid Dabangg like the plague. But seriously…. Why would you not be a fan of movies such as Wanted would be difficult for me to comprehend. To give you a flavor of some of the viginettes - , “Varna Chhedi Singh hum tum mein itni chhed karenge ki conphuse ho jaaoge ki saans kahan se le rahe ho aur paad kahaan se rahe ho”!!!! No one can beat Sallu Bhai in a role like this one. With all due respect to Rajni Sir and our younger gentlemen friends sprinkled South of the Vindhyas.

I personally thought, Abhinav Kashyap’s direction was pretty good and he makes the cut. The action sequences were good but finished just a bit tackily like they do in the movies that come out of Ramoji Film City. He does his best to get whatever he can out of yet another debutante in Sonakshi Sinha who I am not sure can act. That she barely had a role didn’t help. Also under strict instructions from Papa dear there was not much skin showing. But who says u have to show skin to look sexy???? On that count, I am glad to inform that we have a sizzler on our hands folks. The rest of the cast is pretty much relegated to the back seat. The music is quite good with a guarantee that “Munni Badnaam” will be playing through the year @ discos and is definitely part of the new years eve list. Signing off with a big Thank You to Sallu Bhai for giving us yet another entertainer. I am giving this 5 on 10 purely because as a movie there were way too many gaps. But out of personal choice - SUPER HIT HAI BHAI… I would not mind seeing Dabangg again…. Anyone game????

Monday 6 September 2010

Crank – High Voltage

Just as I was beginning to think that the era of quality man movies is back, we have the 3rd one which does not come upto expectations this year. After the resounding success of The A Team, there was Knight & Day which was average, Expendables which was average and now the ultimate disaster – Crank High Voltage. I say this probably coz I haven’t seen Crank and was not well placed to relate to the movie. But even in isolation if you consider the basic elements – Acting, Directing, Story and overall production, Crank High Voltage, miserably fails in an attempt to give us that something different. In marketing terms, we would call something like this a “niche product”. There was a segment of the audience which seemingly enjoyed the mindless stunts. So I guess there is a market for such inane productions. But then, there is a market for almost anything in this world


Chev Chelios, as the tag line says, “Was dead….But he got better”. An obvious reference to the fact that in the earlier part, he jumps off a helicopter from 14000 ft. The movie begins with the shot. But what do you know…. A straight dive from 14K feet isn’t sufficient to kill a man these days… and definitely not if you are Chelios. A few guys come up and clear the mess and before you know it, Chev has no heart left in him… I mean literally, in case you thought it was figurative. Turns out that the guys who picked him up are black marketing human organs and are harvesting him. Poon Dong, a wealthy don who has 1.9 feet in the grave is in dire need of a strong heart for which he would like the strongest heart in the world…. Who else would have that other than our close friend Chev.

Now Chev is not one to give up easily and he wakes up when they are about to harvest you know what. Rapid fight ensues and Chev successfully escapes. What he doesn’t realize though is that he doesn’t have his heart and it has been replaced by an artificial one which needs to be charged at frequent intervals. On advise from his close friend Doc Miles (Dwight Yoakham), who has been suspended from the medical fraternity, he goes about “charging” himself in a variety of ways such as – Jump Starting from a car battery, getting himself electrocuted and in the most pornographic of manners by having wild sex with his girlfriend, Eve (Amy Smart) in a race course in front on a few thousand people. As I was informed later, it would seem this was their regular pastime and nothing surprising.

Nevertheless, Crank - High voltage, as mentioned earlier is a movie filled with mindless action. Now I am a big fan of hard core action flicks but there has to be some remote method to the madness I say. Mark Neveldine & Brian Taylor seem to have no talent for direction. Jason Statham as always seems to have a disagreement with life in general. The rest of the cast is vastly unmentionable. The attempt to create something different leads to a severe headache. The use of Sepia / black & white for a lot of the shots, interspersed with colour and a morbid use of the steady cam all in the name of cinematography is everything but entertaining. The only reason I could sustain the movie was the fact that I had seen “Hello Darling” before this . Maybe I was unable to digest the concept like a boy being initiated into Heavy Metal till it grows on him and he cannot do without it. Quite a sad attempt. 2 on 10.

Thursday 2 September 2010

Hello Darling

You would watch Hello Darling for any of the following reasons

1. You went for the show of Madholal Keep Walking (which I am sure would have been a far superior choice of a movie) but the show got cancelled.
2. Your definition of a good time is watching a slapstick sex comedy where characters are named “One Hung Low” (Chinese customers of course).
3. You get your cheap thrills by looking @ Celina Jaitley’s cleavage and it is sufficient for your fantasies for the next 30 odd days.
4. You are a movie critic and it is an occupational hazard.
5. You strongly believe, “Never Judge a book by its cover” and therefore you thought the posters did not do justice to the high quality of cinema that you expected it to be.
6. You ran out of places to make out and what better a place than a half empty hall.
7. You simply are a sucker for punishment.

Take your pick folks but avoid the movie like the plague.

Mansi Joshi (Gul Panag) is a department head in a local fashion house. Her boyfriend (Anil Mange) is in London waiting for her to say yes to his proposal. Her boss, Harddick Vasu (Javed Jaffrey) is the epitome of sexual harassment. He is married to Purvi (Divya Dutta) who believes that her ever horny husband is actually “Dudh Ka Dhula”. HDV’s secretary is Candy (Celina Jaitley) who is the atypical office blonde who strongly believes that what she wears is not skimpy at all. Candy’s boyfriend (Chunky Pandey) is a run of the mill musician who lives in with her. Rounding off the shebang is Satyavati Chaudhary (Eesha Khoppikar) who has been recently hired for a position in Mansi’s team.

All the women in the office are quite frustrated with HDV’s sexual advances towards them. But thanks to Mansi’s convincing powers, they stay back for as long as womanly possible. Mansi keeps resisting his advances and keeps swearing to herself that she will kill HDV someday. His favourite way of ticking her off is to ask her to make coffee. In a frustrated moment, she inadvertently adds Rat Poison to his coffee. When she realizes her folly, she finds HDV on the floor of his office. Total chaos ensues.

Hello Darling is definitely the outcome of a bet that the producer had with someone that even a lousy movie can make money in India. What surprises me is that there were quite a few people in the hall and more importantly, enough who were actually amused with the cheap slapstick comments. I guess the producer definitely won his bet. What surprises me even more is that quality actresses like Gul Panag and Divya Dutta are actually jobless. What else could explain the fact that they have willingly accepted to waste their talent on a senseless piece of work. Ladies – you must surely have been in some severe financial strain. Celina Jaitley as always can do no better than show as much cleavage as allowed by the censor board. Eesha Khoppikar doesn’t have much of cleavage to show but she tries to make up with as much skin as possible. Chunky Pandey is almost non existant & JJ is at his pathetic best.

Manoj Tiwari, it would seem was the Assistant director for the Subhash Ghai debacle – Kisna the Warrior Poet. Not that it would have made any difference if it was someone else coz the story in itself is crappy to say the least. A sheer waste of 2 hours is what is say. 1 on 10 just for the attempt I guess.

Once Upon a Time in Mumbai

Beyond the myth... Lies Mumbai's greatest betrayal

And that’s what DCP Agnel Wilson (Randeep Hooda) thinks he is to blame for. Its that guilt that leads him to attempt suicide. He believes that he gave up a chance when he had the best one. Unfortunately his attempted suicide fails and he finds himself in front of the commissioner of police explaining himself and the story of Sultan Mirza (Ajay Devgn) and Shoaib Khan (Emraan Hashmi).

Sultan Mirza comes to Mumbai after a flood in Chennai forces him out of the city. He would not be more than 10 years old when he starts working in the dockyard. At an early age he starts showing people that he cares. He makes just 4 annas (25p) every day (mind you it’s a really long time back) but gives away 1 anna to a beggar when she asks him to. All he says is, “Dua mein yaad rakhna” (remember me in your prayers). He starts doing odd jobs for the local goons and gains their trust and over time starts controlling the docks. The other gospel truth that he lives by, “Jab Dost banake kaam ho sakta hai to Dushman kyon banaye” (When one can get work done by making friends then why make enemies). Realising that there is no point in fighting with rival gangs, he calls the 4 big players – Vishnu, Pathan, Vardhan and Verghese – where he successfully suggests the division of Mumbai into clear territories for each one. In the bargain he retains control of the 5 territory – the sea.

Enter Shoaib Khan. Son of Inspector Khan who reports into ACP Agnel Wilson (at that time). He has always been severely stubborn and convinced that there is no point in following the right path. He keeps indulging in petty crimes to make a living. On the insistence of Inspector Khan, Sultan provides Shoaib with an opportunity to start a small electronics store. But when he gets caught for some of his past crimes, Sultan has no other choice but to induct him to the core business i.e. Smuggling. Patrick (Naved Aslam), Sultan’s right hand man, is not comfortable with the idea but lets it pass.

In between all of this, Sultan’s love life comes alive thanks to him sweeping leading actress Rihana (Kangana Ranaut) off her feet with some sheer persistence. Also, the only piece of furniture in the movie, Mumtaz (Prachi Desai) makes her appearance as Shoaib’s love interest. Rihana and Sultan share a publicly known relationship but aren’t married. However, when Rihana is diaganosed with Congenital Heart Disease (Hole in the heart) he decides to get out of managing the core business to a more supervisory role (read politician). When he goes to meet the home minister, he leaves the responsibility of the business with Shoaib.

OUATIM is a well made period movie which deals with one of the favourite topics for most audiences – gangsters. The similarities between the story of Haji Mastan and Dawood are unmistakable – no matter how much the producers may put a disclaimer. But at the end of the day that’s what rakes in the moolah I guess. The fact that the movie has been around for over 4 weeks now and running fairly successfuly is a fair indicator that the crowds like it.

All in all, I think Milan Luthria does a good job with the direction. There are some gaffes that could have been managed well like the nice 21st Century heels that Ms. Desai wears in the song “Pee Loon” under her Sharara. This could have been hidden better I thought. Also, Sultan and Rihana are seen having dinner or lunch @ the Renaissance which I am quite sure didn’t exist in the 70s. Could have gone in for a more relevant location, especially since the map of Mumbai very clearly calls out only greater Mumbai. Now how did they get to Powai when it didn’t exist. And then there is the cigarette that Shoaib smokes which clearly is a B&H – wonder if they were around at that time in India. These kind of eliminate the overall good attention to detail in aspects such as costumes which are very well designed and apt for the period. If only the finishing at the cutting table was better.

Ajay Devgn comes in with yet another stand out performance. Yes its true that actors mature with age. One cant imagine that this was the same “Charsi” looking face that hit the screens with Phool Aur Kaante nearly 20 years back. Mr. Devgn (without the a) – you have definitely come a long way. And the dropping of “a” seems to have helped too. Emraan Hashmi needs to drop his constipated looks which he believes makes him look like an “Angry Young Man” and stick what he does best – kissing his leading ladies. Prachi Desai is furniture and if it hadn’t been for the controversial love making scene that her family seems to be extremely upset about, she would have been relegated to furniture. Surprisingly, Kangana looks extremely stunning. Brilliant work with the make up I must say. This is the best I have seen Kangana and in all fairness, one cannot take eyes off her.

The movie keeps you quite involved all the way through. Narration is strong enough to keep audiences interested. Overall a 6 on 10. Must take time out to watch if not done yet.

Peepli Live

Is Aamir Khan the man with the Midas touch in Bollywood? His first movie through production house AKP went all the way to the Oscars. The second one was a raging hit within the country and a launch pad for his nephew. The third, it would seem is as big a hit but from a completely different genre and with absolutely no “stars” in the true sense of the word – barring of course one gentleman who goes by the name of Naseeruddin Shah. I really would not call Peepli Live a comedy, unless of course it is preceded by Dark. The correct term would probably be Satire.


Natha (Omkar Das) and Budhiya (Raghuvir Yadav) are brothers who are deep in debt. Their farmland has been mortgaged with the bank who now wants to auction the land off since our brothers have not been able to pay the money back. The brothers stay with their Mother (Farrukh Jaffer), Natha’s wife Dhania (Shalini Vatsa) and Natha’s 3 kids. On their return from the bank, their only hope rests with Bhai Thakur (Sitaram Panchal) the local politician / representative for the ruling party of the state of Mukhya Pradesh. Thakur tells them in jest to commit suicide and that the government pays upto Rs.1 lac for families of farmers who have committed suicide. The two poor illiterate souls actually take this seriously, find out details and debate on who should commit suicide between them.

Parallely, on ITV, Nandita Malik (Malaika Shenoy) is interviewing Union Minister for Agriculture, Mr. Salim Kidwai (Naseerudding Shah) who more or less trivializes the issue of farmer suicides by claiming that a lot of them are natural deaths. He also turns it into a point of putting down the Government of Mukhya Pradesh which is led by the opposing party. ITV’s editor in charge is not happy with his falling TRPs and the fact that Bharat TV the Hindi National Channel is raking in the big numbers thanks to some ridiculous programming. Nandita is instructed to do whatever it takes to up the ratings. As luck would have it, a local newspaper journo, Rakesh from Jan Morcha over hears Natha and Budhiya planning their suicide. The ensuing article begins to create waves but Rakesh, smitten by Nandita, informs her first. Not for too long though coz the entire country now wants to see the man who is going to commit suicide on live Television.

Peepli Live is a superb satire on 4 issues that the country faces today. The fact that the progress from being an agri economy to a service based one has left a whole host of farmers completely high and dry. The favourite victim as most people who has seen the movie perceive it, is the media; and rightfully so. Watching the news these days, is as good as watching a daily soap. The only way most news channels understand is sensationalizing how Salman Khan takes a leak and not really addressing the core and more important issues at hand. Lastly it takes a royal dig at the existing political system in the country where politicians and bureaucrats would rather point fingers at each other or join hands with rival parties for their own personal gain or provide irrelevant support to people like giving a farmer who is struggling for his survival a Television and attempting to generate mileage out of it. I say 4 issues coz somewhere I believe Peepli Live is trying to push us into a specific direction of saying no the kind of crap that we are put through these days, either by the political system or the media. It seems to be an earnest plea to all of us to not just wait for a change but to be the change. Remains to be seen how many of us actually take the message forward into action.

As regards the quality of execution, it is indeed very good. The performances of all the actors are excellent. Casting is superb. The costumes even more. Direction is only aided by the fact that the cast is really good. But one cannot take away credit from Anusha Rizvi and Mohammed Farooqui even more so since this was their first movie. Music is also very well managed between Ram Sampat, Indian Ocean and Nageen Tanvir. No questions about the story line which deals with the 4 issues in an extremely humorous manner that leaves you feeling good and not upset or depressed. The peak point in the entire movie would be when Natha’s son comes to him and asks, “Baba, aap kab maroge”? Overall a 7 on 10 surely from my side.