Katti Batti (Hindi) (2015)

Nikhil Advani is definitely not known for brilliant movies with the one exception of D-Day where he made his only genuine attempt to aid the effort of quality cinema in Bollywood.  Back to Back releases in a week may indicate that Shri Advani over estimated his prowess in the field of direction.  Regretably he has botched up both stories – one which was a classic and the other that had a lot of promise.

Gori Tere Pyaar Mein!

Half of the Gori Tere Pyaar Mein!’s battle against me was already lost when I realized a couple of minutes into the movie that it has been set significantly in THE VILLAGE.  Now, now people, don’t get me wrong.  I have nothing against villages.  But I have a lot against one particular village.  For those who know me, this particular village is also known as – BENGALURU.  I call it the largest village in the world.

Once Upon Ay Time In Mumbai Dobaara!

When I first saw the trailer of “Once Upon Ay Time in Mumbai Dobaraa!”, the A was just A and not Ay.  There was no “!”.  It was “again” and not “Dobaraa”.  Surely there were some consultations held behind closed doors to make so many changes to the name.  A pity it didn’t work out too well.  They could have well saved the numerology fees.

Matru Ki Bijli Ka Mandola

Dear Mr. Vishal Bharadwaj

I write this note to you in immense pain. When this year started 10 days back, I was hoping that MKBKM was the first movie to be released. It may have given the year a much needed kick start for good measure. But after leaving the hall around an hour back, I was actually thinking to myself that it was a good decision to move your release by a week. Actually you could have done by deferring the release for good.

Ek Main Aur Ekk Tu

Disclaimer – My disdain for Kareena Kapoor has nothing to do with my comments or views of the movie in the following paragraphs. The disdain has, is and will always be there but I am committed to giving a neutral and unbiased view of the movie and will not be swayed by my absolute disgust with the lady in question.

Shakun Batra was the assistant director of some sorts for Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na & Rock On and something random with Don as well. So it was only a matter of time that she was given an opportunity for her first full length picture. And the part that she has written the story too (as claimed in the credits) should be taken with a pinch of salt. Shakun joins the mainstream Bollywood band wagon in true Bollywood ishtyle with an “inspired” movie – partially inspired from that Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz starrer called What Happens in Vegas. The similarity of course doesn’t extend to the winning of a few million dollars but moves on to instead build fraandship etc. etc. Thoda “yawn” ho jaata hai (gets you a bit sleepy u see).

But then what else would one expect from a Valentines weekend release. I was in fact quite pleased that there were no tear jerking moments in the entire movie. Some which make you feel a little bad for the half an expression hero (read Aamir Khan’s nephew) but that’s about it. A pity though that the expression count has gone back in time to where he started from.

And the controlled excitement that the disgusting lead actress has is a welcome change from her earth shattering, chalk on the board squeaky types, performances that we are used to in the past. Boman Irani is as always picture perfect in his role as the over bearing father who believes in the adage from a shoe company (am I sounding too much like Times of India?) which said that at the Olympics you don’t win silver you lose gold.

Very disappointed though with the performances of the rest of cast with the wreckers in chief being Ratna Pathak Shah and Ram Kapoor both of who are fantastic actors in their own right and have needlessly gone over the top this time around with really bad performances. It was as if they had to do something to make the lead pair look good. So they decided to look pathetic in the bargain.

What is good though is the way Batra has ended the movie. A not at all corny end to an otherwise very corny movie all through. 5 on 10 after great deliberation. A point or 2 from the ever reliable Amit Trivedi for his music takes this movie to watchable levels.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi443325977/

Mere Brother Ki Dulhan

Indian Audiences are probably very easy to please. What else could explain the extremely positive reviews that a way below par movie like Mere Brother Ki Dulhan has received since its release. First of all there is the aspect of a story line. Yawn. Everyone knows what is going to happen at the first look of the trailer itself. Boy (Imran Khan) is entrusted to find an ideal wife for his brother (Ali Zafar) who is based in London and has no idea about the concept of being on a rebound. Boy sincerely but unconvincingly goes about the formalities to complete his duties and is aided by his rhyming bum chums Shobhit (Mohammed Zeeshan Ayyub) and Rohit (cannot remember who plays this). After several unsuccessful attempts he finally receives a call that seems to have truck loads of potential thanks to the prospective bride’s father (Kanwaljit Singh) being employed with the Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Turns out that the bride (Katrina Kaif) is an old rebellious college friend from Lady Sriram College (does this institute pay money for in film placement? That would probably explain the 100% cut off they had for admissions this year). With the aid of technology, the bride to be and the groom to be have a chat and voila we have a “middle class” Indian wedding which is nothing short of a BIG FAT INDIAN one!!! Not to mention the obvious – boy and bride to be fall in love and a comedy of errors ensues.

Why would a debutante director, who has only part of his name different from one of his lead actors, dabble with such a predictable plot is beyond me. It is anyways difficult to direct a movie for the first time – so what if you have the experience of being an assistant director for 7 movies prior to this? But it is simply sacrilegious if the audience knows the entire plot and the ending within a 2 minute trailer. To make matters worse Ali Abbas Zafar is not helped with the quality of the script which can be described as stale at best. And wait a minute. That is just the beginning of his woes. He has as part of his cast the nephew of one of the most successful actors in India whose repertoire of expressions can be summed up with the use of just one finger. And the bride to be manages to hold audiences simply because she is super sizzling hot. The elder brother has done his chances of a career no good at all. Disappointing – considering that his first movie (Tere Bin Laden) was such a well made one and his performance was very good to say the least. The rest of the cast is uninspiring as well.

I would consider MBKD to be yet another movie made with the “chalta hai” (anything goes) attitude that has plagued Bollywood since time immemorial. Barring a few light moments, some decent music and leching at Katrina Kaif, there is nothing that would hold you back. The trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi1376033817/ and save time and money. 3 on 10 is my verdict. If you still decide to go ahead – my best wishes are always with you.

Delhi Belly

I was quite apprehensive about Delhi Belly and was in the same breath quite disappointed because I could not watch the movie till this morning. I was just hoping it was not yet another case of the trailer being better than the movie – like it has been quite often in the recent past. However, turns out this time it was not the case. I guess it had to be a case of “In Aamir Khan we trust”. Although I am not sure if Aamir would be saying, “In Imran Khan I trust” for too long if the nephew keeps at his mediocre levels of improvement and singular dead pan surprised expression for too long. One begins to feel a bit sad about it after a while because there does seem to be a lot of effort or sincerity in Imran Khan’s approach to acting. Add to that his chocolate boy looks. But over generations I guess the expressions reduce. Aamir does a brilliant job with 5 expressions. Imran has only one. Seriously Imran dear – I like you for your sincerity and the fact that u seem like a really clean guy which is not too common in the industry – but seriously you need to start acting… really well and really soon before the public sticks to liking you only for your looks and good behavior.

Delhi Belly is marks the 2nd movie of director Abhinay Deo who not too long ago released his first movie – Game. How lucky can one get I say. 2 movies in 3 months of each other!!! That’s really lucky!!! And whats better – the first one was a directing disaster and my has Abhinay Deo made a turn around or what? Delhi Belly is compact, with very little nonsense and one with is cut really well. It is indeed shocking that Game was such a disaster on all counts. So I guess Abhinay dear has redeemed itself. Yes, Delhi Belly could have been finished a tad better than the final product. That Deo had the services of Kunaal Roy Kapur, Vir Das, Vijay Raaz and Poorna Jagannathan… let me catch me breath here……………….. and I was saying – Poorna Jagannathan who is probably the best face to hit Bollywood this year – just made his job a hell of a lot easier. Right from the first shot as Meneka, a visiting journalist who is assigned to Tashi Dorjee Lahtoo (Khan) to interview a bimbo singer, Poorna stamps her authority on screen. So yes, here is a hottie who can act as well. And yes people – she can kiss for sure. Probably the most comfortably that I have seen anyone on screen in a Bollywood movie. And yes… did I mention that she is HOT!!!! She is Tunisian – I mean how much more exotic can it really get. And another warning – DO NOT LOOK INTO THOSE EYES!!! They will captivate you and cast a spell out of which there will be no getting out – period!!! And for the first time since I started using a desktop I have on my wall paper an actress who starred in a Bollywood movie – I am officially in love *sheepish smile*

I liked Delhi Belly. It is fast, pacy, funny in parts, outrageously slapstick in parts, “bimbo”ish in parts (read Shenaz Treasurywala and Anusha Dandekar), young, energetic, brave, short and to the point. The music from Ram Sampath is excellent and the fact that is used as a background score makes it even better. Watch it for sure. U will not regret it and if you do get bored then keep looking out for Poorna coz she is never too far away from any scene. *sigh* 7 on 10 folks – 25 on 10 for Poorna for sure *sighs again*

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xcKn9BxTg1A

Break Ke Baad

I had predicted 2 successful flops for Deepika in the current week with Break Ke Baad (BKB) and then next week with Khelein Hum Jee Jaan Se (KHJJS). The rushes didn’t enthuse any confidence in me. But I am pleasantly surprised and happy to have been proven wrong in the case of BKB. But in the same breath, I wasn’t too far off. Its not a very good movie but it isn’t too bad either. And this doesn’t come from the soft spot I have for RomComs.

Aaliya Khan (Deepika Padukone) is a rebel without a cause. Her core motive in life seems to be to do something that the world doesn’t want her to do. OR not to do what the world expects her to. As a child she doesn’t do her homework and actually convinces her teachers that she cannot because her actor mother, Ayesha (Sharmila Tagore – Coincidentally Ayesha is Mrs. Pataudi’s name after marriage), doesn’t have the time to pack her lunch box. She is more into movies than anything else and her only dream is to be an actor one day. Always on tenterhooks and living life on the edge, her pillar of support is Abhay Gulati a.k.a. Gulati a.k.a Gelato who is her exact opposite. Calm, composed, stable head on his shoulders, petrified of adventure sports and 100% dependable. Although he doesn’t quite know what he really really wants to do in life, he is currently biding his time helping in his father’s business as Vice President of Jeet Cinemas. No points for guessing that Abhay’s father is Jeet Gulati (Naveen Nischol)

All seems to be going well other than the fact that for a couple who has been seeing each other for nearly 10 years and has known each other for over 10 years before that, there seems to be little or no chemistry between them. I mean the only kiss they share is also very bland. But as expected, there has to be a break. I mean whats the point in calling the movie BKB if there is none right. Aaliya decides to pursue her acting ambition through a University in Australia. But has disguised it as a course in Mass Communication instead. However, mum is smarter and sees through the ploy. All hell seems to break lose. But with the Gelato’s support, she makes her way to Oz under the condition that she will focus only on mass com. Now how does a couple manage a long distance relationship. They go about it under the garb of just a break from each other and not a break up. Easier said than done as our leading couple finds out soon enough.

BKB is Danish Aslam’s first directorial venture. There is definitely some talent there but there are also some obvious faux pas. Like Mr. India and Tezaab seemingly released in the same year. Or if it is around midnight in India, it cannot be broad daylight in Australia. And how in the blazes does one get to Australia overnight – has getting a visa become that easy or is Oz Visa on arrival (I hope so considering I am travelling next month). Obvious to the movie buff like me but may not be for the not so particular right? Although Danish keeps it fairly compact throughout it does drag towards the end quite a bit. Luckily the movie is under 2 hours and the drag lasts for only about 10-15 mins.

The support cast is fairly decent. Shahana Goswami (Nadia) continues where she left off from Rock On. Strong performance but again a very cynical role. Sharmila Tagore is as ethereal as ever. Pleasantly surprised to see Navin Nischol back on screen doing what he does best – play understanding daddy. DJ Yudi plays the role of the over excited, promiscuous Cyrus (Nadia’s brother) and should probably stick to only VJing. But even there he would be too old for it. The star of the support cast is however Lilette Dubey who plays Pammi Gulati and gives a 100% to her role as the supporting Aunt for our hero and has excellent crude and crass dialogues to back her up as well – chief among them includes referring to our heroine as a “Chudail” (Witch for those who are unfamiliar with the local lingo). The music is way below Vishal Shekhar’s best. Just about makes par. The timing of the songs also is fairly awry. Something that young Danish can look at. But overall BKB is an average movie. Average Songs, Average Story, Average Direction, Great Titling, Average acting from the lead cast, some strong performances from the support cast, Decent editing – AVERAGE – 5 on 10.