Friday 28 September 2012

OMG! Oh My God!

If the net is to be believed, then Umesh Shukla, the director of OMG! Oh My God! is also the writer of the play – Kanji Viruddh Kanji (Kanji v/s Kanji). That’s a significant amount of credit to the man I must say. Not sure if he came up with the concept himself because in 2001, there was a Hollywood movie starring Billy Connely and directed by Mark Joffe called The Man Who Sued God.

Chances are that he was inspired by the Hollywood flick. But mind you, I have nothing against inspiration – provided the inspiration was translated well. And Umesh Shukla does a fine job with the screenplay for OMG – yep; it would seem he has written and directed the movie. With a little help from one Bhavesh Mandalia as well. Most of the dialogues are simple and high impact dialogues.

2 of them stand out more than the others. One when Om Puri tells Kanji Bhai, “Mazhab Insaanon ke liye banta hai. Mazhab ke liye insaan nahin bante” (Religion is made for man. Not the other way round). And the killer one is the star of the show – Mithun Da – when he tells Kanji Bhai towards the end, “Aastha, Shraddha, sab hafeem ki nashe ki tarah hai. Aasaani se nahin chhoot ti hai. Because these people are not god loving. They are God Fearing people” (Faith is like an addiction. It is not easy to give it up).

For those, who are unaware of the story, OMG! – as the name of the Hollywood movie suggests, is about a man who decides to sue the man upstairs. Kanji Bhai (Paresh Rawal) is a non believer in religion and idol worship – perceived by most people as an atheist. When a small quake hits the city, surprisingly, only his store is razed to the ground. The insurance company says they cannot reimburse him, because it is “AN ACT OF GOD”. Kanji Bhai decides that his only option is to take God – to court.

OMG is kept alive thanks to some stunning performances by the old guard of Indian Cinema. Paresh Rawal is so supremely convincing in his role of Kanji Bhai that one would be fair to assume that he was convinced about the concept. Om Puri – albeit in a brief role – was solid. But to me, the piece de resistance was the quiet (very few dialogues) performance from the Disco Dancer himself. Mithun Da shows why most of us believe that his performance 40 years back in Mrigaya was not a one off. Stunning!!!

Despite the loose inspiration from Ghost Rider and some obvious gaffes like everyone on the football ground wearing David Villa T Shirts, I still thought OMG was well made. What I liked about OMG was the message of belief in supreme being but not by making a business out of it. A message which the audience seemed to enjoy – but I am afraid will be quickly forgotten once people leave the hall. I am hoping against hope that I am wrong. 7 on 10 and a strong possibility of a support actor award for Mithun Da.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyQAFhBv4Ts

Kamaal Dhamaal Malamaal

There are 2 kinds of movies that Priyadarshan makes. Either the totally roller coaster, supremely slapstick, excruciatingly painfully loud kind of movie like Hulchul or that Malamaal Weekly. Or the average, sensible, semi-serious kinds, with a little bit of slapstick and loud in parts kind of movie like Bhool Bhulaiyya or Tezz. Mind you, I am not including his classy Malayalam movies which are a treat to watch.

Very rarely will you come across a movie from his table that is without a sense of purpose or which leaves you wondering – What was the purpose of this movie. Priyadarshan is exactly the kinds who stays true to the adage – Love him or hate him but you cannot ignore him. For a change, he has made a movie that leaves you totally flabbergasted at the end of it all.

Why did Priyadarshan make Kamaal Dhamaal Malamaal? Was it because he did not have any work at all? Not possible right? He just released Tezz earlier this year. Which was his 67th movie in some 26 years. That’s a lot of cinema isn’t it? Maybe he was paid so much money that he could not say no. Or just maybe he wanted to give the out of job Nana Patekar, an opportunity to come back into cinema.

Whatever the reason maybe, KDM would easily qualify as one Priyadarshan’s most insipid pieces of work. It starts with a background story which involves 2 friends from Bijnor in UP. David (Om Puri) and Peter (Paresh Rawal). They are the thickest of friends with the exception of Maria (Sona Nair) who is Peter’s girl friend. But when Peter gets his servant knocked up, David steps in to marry Maria. Why was all this back story given or required in the first 3 minutes – beats me. It has nothing to do with the rest of the movie whatsoever.

And then we cut to the current day where David has been pulled down by life to only ringing the bell @ the local church. He has 2 daughters who are of marriageable age. And a good for nothing son, Johnny (Shreyas Talpade) who believes he can get rich by buying lottery tickets. But he is also a “piss in his pants” scaredy cat who cannot stand up for either himself or the love of his life – again Maria (Madhhurima). All of this till his long lost brother – Sam aka Kallu (Nana Patekar) reappears.

I saw KDM only because I had nothing better to do and because it is an occupational hazard. But you really do not need to. There is nothing really worth looking forward to. Even the attempted item number featuring Anjana Sukhani is without purpose or direction. A very disappointing attempt that truly leaves you feeling cheated. 3 on 10 and extremely avoidable.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKGrDahdu3w

Saturday 22 September 2012

Moonrise Kingdom

My first experience with Wes Anderson was with a very quirky animation movie called The Fantastic Mr. Fox. If you haven’t seen it, then it should be on your must see list. And very soon after Mr. Fox, I encountered The Darjeeling Limited. Another fabulousl effort from Anderson – this time with music from Satyajeet Ray and Merchant Ivory movies all through. This too should be on your must watch list. Then pray, why should Moonrise Kingdom not make the cut?

It will not make the cut, if you are not into the quirky, dark satire that Anderson flirts with throughout the ninety odd minutes of the movie. You will not like Moonrise Kingdom because you do not have the patience to go through a rather slow start. You will not like Moonrise Kingdom because for about 30 minutes you would be scratching your head as to why the guy at the counter insisted that this is an “A” rated movie when all you can see is a bunch of Khaki Scouts in uniform and one twelve year old girl who comes from a rather demented family.

You will not like Moonrise Kingdom because you have not been able to, are incapable of and will not be ever in a position to sift through the finer nuances of sarcasm and irony that Anderson is such an expert at. Because you do not have a liking for comedy of the darkish variety that involves a bunch of fantastic kids taking a dig at the lives of us older people.

I must admit that I walked into the hall only because I had seen Anderson’s earlier movies and loved them. I also found it quite surprising that the distributors in India had managed to keep such a compelling and talented star cast under wraps till the date of release i.e. yesterday. Why would you not want to maximize your opportunity when you have the likes of Bruce Willis, Edward Norton, Bill Murray, Tilda Swinton, Frances McDormand and Harvey Kietel on your rolls? Add this to the mysteries of the unexplained that comes from Reader’s Digest.

Look out for the superb, understated performances from each one in the cast particularly the two twelve year olds – Kara Hayward & Jared Gilman – who play the role of 2 kids who claim to be in love and elope at the tender age. Set in 1965 in an otherwise desolate New Panzace Island which you can reach only by ferry or a bumpy propeller powered experience, Moonrise Kingdom is as quirky as quirky can get. And yet, totally enjoyable. Don’t leave the hall till you view the final credits. The music is simply superb. 7.5 on 10 for Wes Anderson. One of the better movies of the year to date.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi562733337/

Dredd 3D

When I saw the trailer of Dredd 3D a few weeks back, I was actually taken back 17 years to that Stallone starrer called Judge Dredd based on the same character. A character that was actually created 18 years before Stallone decided to make a movie on it. It was part of a magazine called 2000 AD and coincidentally its longest running character as well.

This one is directed by Pete Travis (Vantage Point) with the assistance of a significant amount of Special Effects and current day technology. Travis takes the story of Judge Dredd to the level that it probably should have deserved the first time around. But then, the technology one had access to was as archaic as the 19th century at that point of time.

Now don’t get too far ahead of yourself. The technology doesn’t do much to change an otherwise plain storyline. But there is an change this time. It is not an exact replica of the flick from 17 years back. This time around, we have something that was distinctly missing the last time.

This time, we have Madeline Madrigal (Lena Headley) – appropriately called Ma-Ma. A hooker from a few years back who now has control of a full fledged 200 storey complex called Peach Trees. She has slowly but surely removed all the other clans from the place. And now, more than 75000 people are under her control. And she is mean as mean can be or do.

And she is also producing the latest drug known to mankind – Slo-Mo – because it makes the world go around at less than one tenth its normal speed. Although there is a fundamental disconnect I have with the concept I will save that debate for later. Ma-Ma now intends to ensure that the rest of Mega City 1 i.e. about 800 million people have access to Slo-Mo.

But, she has our protagonist to deal with. A street Judge. Someone who in this day and age – mid 22nd Century – is allowed to dispense justice on the fly. So s/he can walk into a crime scene for e.g. a homicide scene, catch hold of the killer and blow his brains out. Simple right? And very effective. Dredd takes over a homicide case where 3 men are skinned and thrown off the 200th storey of Peach Trees.

He arrests one of Ma-Ma’s henchmen – Kay (Wood Harris). Ma-Ma does what she is best at. Locks down Peach Trees and tries to do away with Judge Dredd. By the time she realizes that she has bitten off more than she can chew, it is a bit too late. Dredd has already started wreaking havoc – single handedly.

Superb special effects is the hallmark of this version of Judge Dredd. The first scene with the credits itself comes straight at your face. But I did think that the use of slow motion (the drug and the way it was shot) was a bit over the top. Not much of a story line per se but made in an extremely slick and compact manner with little or nothing that was unnecessary.

For that reason alone, I thought it was a good watch. Unfortunately, the SFX demands that the movie is seen on the big screen. It will not create an impact at all if you watch it on TV. And the 0915 hrs show @ PVR Mulund @ 80 bucks was like totally worth it. If you are an action fan, then this is a great movie. If not, avoid like the plague. 6 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3033834521/

Heroine

Dear Mr. Madhur Bhandarkar – a few pointers that I picked up from Heroine

1. What is the necessity of getting in so many characters into the movie to support your main cast? After a while, I actually lost count of the number of characters. Aryan (Rampal) is boyfriend 1. Angad (Randeep Hooda) is boyfriend 2. Rashidbhai (Govind Namdeo) is secretary. Pramita (Shahana) is lesbian fling. Mummy (Lilette Dubey) is having affair with politician. Rhea Mehra (Mugdha Ghodse), Shaheen (Pooja Chopra)and Gayatri Reddy (Meenakshi – I think) are competitors. Tapan Da (Ranveer Shorey) is an eccentric Bengali director. Abbas (Sanjay Suri) is the hot shot lead actor. Zara (Shilpi Sharma) is Abbas’ wife!!! Like WTF??? The average movie watcher would go half psycho by the time s/he finishes the first 45 mins.

2. And why is everyone after ruining Randeep Hooda’s image as an actor by forcing him to over act like his life depended on it?

3. Arjun Rampal is one of the – if not THE MOST – constipated in this performance of his. He was always challenged but this time the struggle was super obvious.

4. Why in the blazes would you make up Kareena to look even more heinous than she looks normally? Seriously – some of the shots with mascara running down her face made me believe that Heroine was a horror flick ala Vikram Bhatt.

5. And as if that weren’t sufficient, your actual run time is 2 hrs 29 mins!!!! What???? Seriously???? SERIOUSLY???? Why do you have to stretch all your stories to an extent that it starts competing with Ramanand Sagar’s Ramayan – in my time it was called the Height of Elasticity.

6. And what makes you believe that everyone and their uncle and their mother in the movie industry is a chain smoker? The “Cigarette Smoking is injurious to health” disclaimer at the beginning was apt for Heroine. There was barely a shot in which there was no cigarette. Now don’t get me wrong – I am a smoker myself but with so much smoke around, I would have contracted cancer even by watching. And if the idea is true then at least try and get your actors and actresses to smoke naturally and not like they have been forced into it.

7. For future reference – Please do not use terms such as Bi-Polar disorder loosely. It is a serious psychiatric issue. Mahie Arora (Kareena Kapoor) showed any indication of a “frenzied state (as described by Wikipedia)” probably only once in the entire movie. Eccentric – yes. Bipolar disorder – you fell way short of that. – not the first time you are doing it.

8. But fear not. The movie is not fraught with only bad points. There are some high points in acting for certain. I thought the support cast – no matter how unnecessary they were – actually put in a solid effort. Govind Namdeo, Shahana Goswami, Divya Dutta, Helen and even Ranveer Shorey as the eccentric Bengali director were all superb.

9. So much that they kind of overshadowed a performance from Kareena that was much better than her usual performances to date. Maybe she really took a leaf from the role of Tarannum that she played in the movie. All this despite the sad make up. Overall, a decent watch, despite all the negatives.

10. Yet again, you have delivered an average flick that will be received reasonably at the Box Office, make some money and maybe get a national award (much as I would hate Kareena pipping Vidya Balan’s performance in Kahaani).

11. Will the audience get bored? No. But is it essential to watch on big screen – No again. 5 on 10.

Thanks & Regards

An avid movie watcher and a hopeful that someday you will deliver a superb movie

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZWB_h91HqP0

Saturday 15 September 2012

Raaz 3

The last Vikram Bhatt movie that I saw was Haunted 3D. The man and his obsession with the horror genre is truly commendable. By that I mean – how many times is one person willing to go out there and hang himself on a clothesline to be the object of ridicule of the rest of the world? It must take a truck load of guts right. I can understand that the Vishesh Films banner has to oblige family. But when oh when will this man stop fighting for the position of the worst director in the country?

I missed Raaz 3 on the Friday of release. And I was told that I didn’t miss much. I cannot say that it was a horrible movie. But I cannot say that it was above average either. In terms of a score out of 10, I would give it 3 on 10 because the story was definitely better than Bhatt’s previous attempts. So after trying for so long, he finally got a story that was not too bad.

You have Aditya Arora (Emran “Kiss Me” Hashmi) who is one of the most successful directors in the past few years. He has reached this far thanks to a few favours that he picked up along the way from Shanaya Shekhar (Bipasha Basu) who is an actress on her way down. She is fast losing ground to Sanjana Krishna (Esha Gupta). Sanjana has won the best actress award for the past 2 years.

So when Sanjana does a threepeat, Shanaya loses her faith in the person upstairs. She gets lured into the fascinating world of Black Magic. She sells her soul to Dutt (Manish Choudhary) – a spirit who is in the world between humans and the after-life. She gets some magic water from Dutt and with the help of Aditya gets Sanjana to consume the water. That unlocks Sanjana’s soul for the evil world to come into. A spate of eerie events occur back to back. Sanjana begins to lose it much to Shanaya’s delight.

Vikram Bhatt takes a bit to gore instead of the pure horror of the unknown. So we have an evil spirit that is made up reasonably well as a human with dark circles under his bloodshot eyes and some black scars for good measure. But in a minute he turns into a gory bloody lump with creepy crawlers coming out of every square inch. Quite hilarious actually when I play it back in my mind.

Nothing in terms of performances to look forward to. Bipasha is as plastic as ever but for some reason she always gets a great bunch of clothes which accentuate her curves better than anyone else. Hashmi is as good as he is ever been in a Vishesh Films production. Esha Gupta I disappointing. I expected better. On the whole, nothing you have missed @ 3 on 10. Don’t bother catching up.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MdGMo3fffkg

Jeena Hai Toh Thok Daal

On one hand we had The Tabloid (read TOI) calling out Barfi! as a 4.5 on 5 – mind you that’s a very very very high score for any movie. In the same breath, the same tabloid called out this super low budget movie with a bunch of really good actors – a 1 on 5. That’s like the abyss in terms of movie ratings from the tabloid. What it also proves is that the tabloids reviews have to be taken with a pinch of salt – make that a table spoon the way reviews have been written in the past few years.

With a name like Jeena Hai Toh Thok Daal (JHTTD) I didn’t have too much of a choice to skip the movie. And I must say that in the first few minutes I wasn’t too disappointed. Set in a place that I have personally visited – Purnea – in North East Bihar, JHTTD is the story of 4 very close friends – as close as brothers. Together they form a gang that is quite dreaded in that part of the world and used by the incumbent Senior Inspector – Hanumant Singh (Murli Sharma) – for running contract killings as the situation may demand.

Yashpal Sharma (Mehkoo) is the eldest in the gang and has actually picked up Atka (Manish Vatsalya), Bitwa (Rahul Kumar) and Chandrabhan (Ravi Kissen) from the streets. He has actually bought them up in his backyard. Chandrabhan is the most respected of the lot because he is the only one with a stable head on his shoulders. The others have a short fuse.

The four have to now run a contract for a big don from Mumbai called Rana (Sharat Saxena). A contract that has been set up by Hanumant. The job is to kill Shrishti (Hazel Croney) – the daughter of a media baron called Pawar (Govind Namdeo). Pawar has been running a series of exposes on Rana and his more than dodgy operation. Despite several threats from Rana, Pawar doesn’t budge from his stand.

I must put in a disclaimer here. My call out I the earlier paragraphs was only to indicate that the movie is not as bad as the reviews claim. It is a standard gangster movie with some good performances from the usual suspects – Yashpal Sharma, Govind Namdeo, Murli Sharma, Sharat Saxena and Ravi Kissen do a damn good job. Director Manish Vatsalya should consider sticking to acting because he is quite good at it.

In sharp contrast, the female cast is really sad. Pooja Welling who is the narrator is one of the most lifeless faces and voices I have seen in recent times. Hazel Croney is the lead actress and has added little or no value to herself or the movie. And the screenplay at times makes you want to strangle the writer. Random lines like, “If you cannot save the innocent, then kill the bastard” or “Kya rakha hai zindagi mein. Laga aag pani mein”. Totally “duh” lines which had no reason to be there. Add to that the 30 minutes which could have been easily chopped.

Overall, if you have nothing better to do, this is not a bad way to spend an afternoon. But don’t expect too much. 4 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maKP9c2Bsoo

Barfi!

Written and directed by Anurag Basu would typically give you a “don’t know” feeling if and when you had considered what Barfi! would be like. Isn’t it? What with his previous debacle with Kites. One can never predict what our man is capable of. But with Ranbir Kapoor and the trailers, one would have expected a good fare.

The only worry in my mind was the 4.5 on 5 rating that India’s #1 tabloid had given the movie yesterday. That is something you can never trust. I was expecting a good story with a stellar performance from Ranbir and Priyanka. And that’s exactly what I got. Definitely not a 4.5 on 5. Closer to a 3.5 on 5 as a movie ergo 7 on 10 by my scale.

Add to that, the music from Pritam was also different – but then again it will probably be a matter of time before you are told that it was ripped off from the music of some exotic Central African country. Till such a time, I think we can enjoy the very classic 60s tunes made in a very jazzy fashion.

Murphy (Ranbir Kapoor) aka Barfi! is a twenty something (one can only assume) young man somewhere in 1972 in Darjeeling. A gorgeous tweenager, Shruti (Ileana D’Cruz) enters his life and Barfi! is floored out of his wits. He maybe a deaf mute but his eyes say a lot. And in a matter of a few hours, he proposes his love for Shruti. But, as luck would have it, Shruti is already spoken for by Ranjit a college senior and the engagement is three months away.

Simultaneously, a story is developing between Barfi! and Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra). Jhilmil and Barfi! grew up together. Jhilmil is autistic and responds to only her Daju who runs a home for special kids. When Barfi!’s father needs to be operated for a kidney failure and all attempts to raise money fail, our hero decides to play along with a kidnapping that’s gone wrong. He uses Jhilmil to get the 7K required for the surgery.

If I were to wear my critic’s hat then I thought a few things were really bad in the movie. To begin with, from the first frame itself, Ileana’s make up is atrocious to say the least. Ditto for the young cast who were required to look like they were 70+. And there were several over the top sequences. Lastly, it could have done with at least 30 minutes of scissors.

But on the good side, Anurag Basu manages to keep you glued to the screen for nearly 2.5 hours. Amidst all the tears (Cannot deny that I shed a tear or two), the story definitely touches you in the right places. The performances pretty much seal the deal. Probably the best performances of the year to date. Ranbir maybe in line for a back to back. Piggy Chops flirted with some overacting but was very good overall - may not bag the best actress thanks to Miss Balan but will run her really close.

Barfi! may not be the movie of the year but it will definitely be in the top 5 of the year to date. My top 5 in that order would be Gangs of Wasseypur, Vicky Donor, Paan Singh Tomar, Barfi! and Shanghai. Make it a part of your weekend for certain. And carry some tissue paper. You are bound to need it.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZxrao3zou4

Wednesday 12 September 2012

To Rome With Love

Another screenplay nomination for Woody Allen? Probably yes. If the academy is used to and will continue to endorse his eccentric but totally hilarious style of script writing. Woody Allen – to my knowledge has got the maximum awards for screenplay to date – 4 (none of which have been collected by him because of his commitment to jazz – or the story goes). I personally would not be surprised if this is a 5th. What I am surprised about – and pleasantly at that – is the braveheart distributor in India who decided to release the movie in line with the US Markets – a phenomenon that hasn’t been seen to date with most of his other movies. Good for us I say.

To Rome With Love is, as the name suggests, an ode from the master writer to the city of Rome and the nuances that come from being there. It traces 4 stories through the length of the movie – 2 of which are in Italian and 2 in English. Probably an experiment from Woody – I don’t remember having seen such a combination before. However, unlike our funny Indian film makers, the Italian parts are in – guess what – Italian!!!! Not like a Hindi hero talking to an American or of late Australian cop in pure Hindi

Nevertheless, we have Jerry (Woody) and Phyllis (Judy Davis) who have to make a trip down to Rome because their daughter Hayley (Alison Pill) has fallen for an Italian lawyer called Michelangelo (Flavio Parenti). The name is Michel – not Michael. Mind it. Michel works pro bono (free) most of the time for the oppressed classes and has strong views on stuff like unionism – almost Communist in nature. Jerry is a retired Music Producer and Phyllis a psychiatrist.

In another part of Rome, we have John (Alec Baldwin) who has returned to the Rome that was home to him around 30 years back. He relives the entire time in Rome through the character of Jack (Jesse Eisenberg) who is currently seeing Sally (Greta Gerwig). But is soon to find himself torn between Sally and her best friend Monica (Ellen Paige) who visits the couple to get over a break up with a gay man who she hoped to change.

If you don’t think this is funny then there is the comedy of errors story of a newly married couple – Antonio (Alessandro Tiberi) & Milly (Alessandra Mastronardi). The former is in Rome to network with his uncles who are extremely well known in the business fraternity. Milly is a demure, naïve school teacher from a village in Italy. When Milly goes off to get her hair done, Antonio’s friends decide to send in a high class call girl – Anna (Penelope Cruz) to make his day. This story is truly funny.

And if all this fails to excite you about the movie then I suggest you skip the 2 hours because you are not going to be too excited about the prospect of the extremely funny and quirky Roberto Benigni essaying the role of Leopoldo – an ordinary office worker whose life gets thrown into fame thanks to the Italian media who makes him into a larger than life character.

If there is one thing I would love to learn from Woody Allen it would be his capability to bring to life so many characters. Even the most insignificant traffic policeman who begins the movie is fleshed out in a matter of seconds. If you are a Woody Allen fan then this one you cannot miss. If you are not then this one may just about get you to fall for this genre of alternate humour – I love Woody Allen – and let me assure you that it is not because I should love him or it is a very cool thing to say. I think you will enjoy To Rome With Love. 8 on 10. Don’t miss it. Potential Oscar nomination for Penelope Cruz - Best Actress in a supporting role.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3170738201/

Finding Nemo 3D

For those who came in late, Finding Nemo (Alexander Gould) is the story of Marlin (Albert Brooks) – Nemo’s father – who is a single father of a single fish thanks to a shark attack that leaves only one egg and takes Nemo’s mother away. He is over protective about Nemo to the point of suffocation. But on the 1st day of school, it takes a silly challenge for Nemo to leave his natural habitat and swim out into the open sea. His excitement is short lived thanks to P Sherman who lives @ 42 Wallaby Way in Sydney. He is a dentist who is on a diving trip and promptly picks up the clown fish for his monster niece – Darla.

Marlin isn’t one to give up easily. He decides to chase after Nemo. He meets a the forgetful Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) who offers to help in his search. And the adventure takes you from the Great Barrier Reef – Nemo’s habitat – all the way to Sydney. En Route they make friends with 3 “Vegetarian” Sharks, some really old turtles, ride the East Australian Current aka the EAC and manage to spend sometime inside a whale. All in a day’s work for the typical Aussie I am quite certain .

Nemo, in the meantime, finds himself in a fish tank with 5 other fish who are characters in themselves. Together, under the passionate leadership of Gill (Willem Dafoe), they hatch a daring plot to escape from the tank and more importantly save themselves from the deadly Darla.

Finding Nemo is the kind of movie that makes your scream out at the Academy and demand that voice overs should be nominated along with regular actors and actresses for mainstream awards. Performances from Willem Dafoe and Ellen DeGeneres will leave you spell bound to say the least. Finding Nemo is the kind of movie that should have made it to the Best Movie category in 2004 and I can only say that it is a travesty that animation is not treated at par with regular feature film.

Andrew Stanton must be an extremely talented person. Not only has he co-directed what is arguably in the top 5 animation movies of all time but he also lends his voice to one of the characters – Crush. Dig a bit deeper and you will find that this is the 6th time he is doing the voice over in a mainstream animation movie and has been part of quite a few good ones. Finding Nemo – undoubtedly – was and will probably be his best attempt. Because, in my books, there can only be 2 movies better – The Lion King and Jungle Book. Emulating them in itself would be asking too much from Stanton leave along beating them.

When Finding Nemo released a couple of weeks back – or should I say re-released in 3D – I was quite certain to be in line for the tickets. Took me till the Sunday of release to get around to finally watching it unfortunately. Now while the movie in itself was and has been an 8.5 on 10 in my books for nearly the decade since its release, I must say that the technology used in movie houses in India probably did not do justice to the 3D version. It is a damp squib at best. The saving grace is that the movie on its own will keep you riveted to the screen. Watchable – Now and Forever

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2687214105/

I M 24

One of the few saving graces in September was this off beat movie called I M 24. When you have a movie with a cast that includes the likes of Rajat Kapoor, Ranvir Shorey, Vijay Raaz and Lilette Dubey, it is a safe bet to spend a little bit of money on. This was part of the triple header that was planned for the 2nd September 2012 (not Finding Nemo – which was on the previous Sunday) and thankfully it turned out to be a decent watch. Else my death warrant was pretty much sealed.

Shubendu Roy (Rajat Kapoor) – and I kid you not when I say that I burst out laughing loud when I heard the name itself – is a thirty something writer who has come in from somewhere in the Indian hinterland to the city of dreams. He shares his lovely house in Ghatkopar with his childhood buddy Gagandeep Singh (Ranvir Shorey). Gagan is a struggling actor himself and uses his smooth talking skills to get odd jobs. Given a choice, Gagan would never speak the truth. Shubhendu is the magnetic opposite.

Gagan lands up a small time job with a leading producer, director of small time serials played by Saurabh Shukla. The only worry is that the house is notorious for not making payments. On the sets he meets Sheela (Neha Dhupia) a struggling actress. Using the same slick talk, Gagan starts wooing Sheela. In the meantime, Shubhendu bumps into Kanak (Manjari Fadnis) on a chat site. When Kanak asks Shubhendu his age our man replies – I AM 24.

I M 24 is a bitter sweet movie that may have several inconsistencies and probably doesn’t stay true to its central theme that is – BE HONEST. But the lies and inconsistencies Saurabh Shukla (as the director) throws at you are petty ones with a certain endearing quality to them. From the first shot, you know that it is a super low budget movie that will offer not too much in terms of quality of movie. But what it lacks in quality of execution, I M 24 more than makes up in terms of story.

And then there are the performances of the cast that I had called out earlier in this review. True to their reputation – Rajat Kapoor, Ranvir Shorey, Saurabh Shukla, Lilette Dubey and Vijay Raaz all deliver very strong performances. Neha Dhupia is slowly but surely getting some quality roles to keep hopes alive on people believing that there is an actor somewhere there. Overall, a pretty decent way to spend a Sunday evening. May have left the screens by now. But the DVD would be a safe pick. 5 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HVJtPfPAuE

From Sydney with Love

Now this was the day after the great party that happened on the 31st August 2012. Actually 2 days later. Not surprisingly, it took me a day to recover from the “great gig”. So on the Sunday – 2nd September 2012, we decided to run a triple header beginning with the movie in question.

After a debacle with Joker (2 days back), one would have exercised more caution right? Not me. The idiot in me had to go for the noon show of a movie that wasn’t well publicized. Hope Floats as they say and I asked discretion to take a back seat. I knew that The Campaign was slotted next and we were signing off with Finding Nemo. So if FSWL turned out to be a downer, we had Hollywood coming to the rescue.

And how badly did I need Hollywood!!!! From Sydney with Love didn’t turn out to be a dampner at all. It was worse. It touched the abyss that Joker had, a little over 36 hours back. Newbie director Prateek Chakravorthy (Grandson of Pramod Chakravorty of Nastik and Love in Tokyo fame) ensured beyond a shadow of doubt that his grand daddy was suffering from the proverbial “rolling in his grave” syndrome.

FSWL is the story of Meghaa (Bidita Bag) who decides to pursue her further studies in Australia so that she can return home better equipped to help people @ Shantiniketan. @ the University, she meets Raj (Prateek Chakravorty) over a bicycle collision. Raj of course falls instantly and Meghaa of course tries to put the distance between Sydney and Shantiniketan between the two.

Along the way, Megha gets close to Rohit (Sharad Malhotra) and befriends Lubaina Snyder (Evelyn Sharma) who coincidentally has the hots for Raj. Why Raj cannot see that Lubaina is miles hotter than Meghaa is beyond any reasoning – logical or otherwise. Also, why are Raj and Megha and Lubaina and Rohit in the same class although Raj has been at University for over 4 years is another conundrum that cannot be solved. But in between all of this, Megha gets knocked up by Rohit and suddenly runs away back home without any conversation with Rohit.

Random long shots, pregnant pauses, insipid and senseless music with little or no purpose, a complete absence of acting talent, horrendous screenplay, slimy dialogues, even slimier attempted item numbers with the director cum lead actor prancing around between several half naked women on an Australian (whats this new found fascination for the land down under) beach is what greets you in the first 5 minutes. I swear, I tried my level best to crawl under the seat so that Prarthana doesn’t beat me up. But the patient soul that she is, she not only survived the movie but didn’t beat me up either – something that I would have undeniably deserved. We have our 2nd 1 on 10 for the year and hopefully the last one.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePI6go0sTxw

Expendables 2

Barney Ross and his band of old but extremely well built (they can kick a lot of ass even today for certain) men are back. One would have thought that better sense would have prevailed on them with the not so successful previous attempt. But then Sly Stallone chooses to live by the maxim that he preached to his screen son as Rocky Balboa, “It is not about how hard you can hit but about how hard you can get hit and keep picking yourself up”. Only that would explain a 2nd installment of The Expendables.

Lets look at the list of dialogues that would qualify for the Razzies in screenplay
1. Bruce Willis to Arnold – “You’ve been back enough. Now I’ll be back” :S:S:S
2. Terry Crews when he is asked to hand over his weapon – “My big weapon is hanging exactly where it is” – Like what???
3. And then there is “Rest in pieces” and “I now pronounce you man and knife” – AAAARGH!!!!
4. Jason Statham – “That thing belongs to the museum”. In reply we have Stallone – “We all do”. Probably the only dialogue that made any sense.
5. Someone to Arnold or vice versa – “If I don’t get this back, your ass is terminated” – somebody please stop!!!
And I realized the reason for all of this. Guess who has written the screenplay – of course in an attempt to save a truck load of money – Sly Stallone himself.

If all of this doesn’t get to your nerves then you have a random Belarusian village where all the women can speak impeccable, grammatically correct English albeit in an attempted Belarusian accent. I think Sly uncle’s visit to the sets of Kambakht Ishq rubbed off on him in more ways than we could have imagined. Of course there is the absolutely unnecessary but not unwelcome return of Chuck Norris as Booker who always works alone.

All of this for making a movie that should not have been made in the first place. But for posterity, lets give you a glimpse into the story. Church (Willis) catches up with the old man’s team and asks him to complete an assignment to absolve the team of all pending cases against them. Barney (Stallone) accepts and finds himself somewhere in Eastern Europe to recover a digital map for a few tons of Plutonium. In the bargain he loses the youngest member of the squad – Bill the Kid (Liam Hemsworth) to the ruthless JCVD in his first villainous role. The chase begins.

The Expendables 2 is a vastly avoidable movie. Even if you are an absolute fan of action movies and the men who made Hollywood action a reality, I would request you to avoid it. Because it is those very men who are sinking deeper and deeper into an abyss that they may never return from. Quite a heart breaker in that sense of the word. I was extremely disappointed. 4 on 10. The past few weeks have been disappointing with a couple of exceptions I guess.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi839492121/

The Campaign

I will not lie about it. The only Will Ferrell movie that I have really enjoyed is Stranger Than Fiction. And Zach whatshisname hasn’t inspired any confidence in me since Hangover. In fact, even in Hangover, I wasn’t really thrilled about his performance. Like seriously folks – irritation and humour are not synonyms by any stretch of imagination. However, I am quite certain that there are millions out there who love both of them.

Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) is a hugely successful Democrat who has won from his constituency for four consecutive terms. And the fifth term is only a matter of completing a formality. One would have assumed that he will coast into yet another unopposed win with the least of worries.

But his promoters – the Motch Brothers – Wade (Dan Aykroyd) and Glenn (John Lithgow) have other ideas. Primarily to ensure that their selfish motives of moving a huge plant for toys from China to the US. That would need a bill to be passed in the Senate and therefore a puppet who will do as s/he has been told. Enter – Marty Huggins (Galifianakis) s/o Raymond Huggins (Brian Cox).

Marty runs a not so successful domestic tour business. And he doesn’t have his father’s favour – rightfully so – thanks to his weird ways that inspire no confidence. But the Motch brothers need a fall guy – a scapegoat. So instead of Junior Huggins who would be the normal choice, they pick Marty. And what follows is an attempted comedy that falls sorely flat on its nose.

If you are a Ferrell / Zach fan – and by that I mean that you really enjoyed movies such as Due Date (Zach) or The Other Guys (Ferrell) – then The Campaign should be on your must watch list. Even the director – Jay Roach – comes from the slapstick genre. His previous exploits include the Austin Powers series and that painful series involving the most over rated actor in Hollywood who goes by the name of Ben Stiller.

There is nothing different that The Campaign has to offer in terms of entertainment. You may see Hollywood stoop to lower levels of degrading people in the name of comedy but nothing that compares or holds a candle to good healthy entertainment. Crass dialogues, really sad twists in the story and slapstick humour are all you can look forward to in this one. I didn’t quite enjoy it too much. But then it is much better than some of the other trash that’s playing these days. 5 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi277390617/

Friday 7 September 2012

Joker (2012 Hindi)

Last Friday (31st Aug 2012), we had a lot of work aligned and a very exciting day planned in store. It was my girl friend’s birthday and I had been planning a surprise party for quite a while. Over a week at least if memory serves me right. And helping me out with it was a very close friend Prachi Tiwari – who unlike me is already gainfully unemployed (I will be joining that band wagon quite soon). She was the first person I could think of and boy does it help to have some assistance when you are planning a surprise party.

True to her reputation Ms. Tiwari did a fabulous job of organizing for the party and was ably assisted by Shri Hersh Kathuria and Shri Pruthviraj Patil who assigned the chores of arranging for the food and getting a whole bunch of stuff for the party. The list of things that Pruthvi organized for – on the fly – included exotic stuff like wine glasses (which were never used eventually :p) and not so exotic stuff like milk and elaichi. But thanks to their timely intervention, the food was well taken care of.

I cant even begin to tell you how fortunate I am to have a bunch of complete buffoons as friends. Miraculously, all of them – except the younger ones (read Nikhil, Purnima, Sumantra and Deby) came in well on time. And if it hadn’t been for some gel nail polish which took about 30 minutes longer than normal and 250 bucks to remove we somehow managed to retain the surprise element when we got back home @ 2115 hrs.

We also played host to 2 of Prarthana’s closest friends – Shwetal and Anshu. Both of them made it with family in tow which was kind of risky considering the buffoon friends I referred to in the previous paragraph. I must tip my hat to their openness because they had absolutely no clue to the riot that we are capable of being once we have a little bit of blood in our alcohol stream we can be a senseless riot. And a senseless riot we were.

An hour and the term “Rock the party” was getting to be as real as the maker of the phrase intended it to be. There were drinks being mixed. Candles being blown out. Cakes being cut. Cakes being smeared on the birthday girl’s face. Cult tales from Café Mondegar’s being recalled. Some more drinks being mixed. Bouncers (read Pruthvi and Eddy) getting drunk…. Hey wait a minute… I thought this was a review for Joker isn’t it? Never mind… our party was more exciting by many country miles. 8 on 10 for the party (and we have had better). We have our first 1 on 10 for the year folks!!!

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrbKp5N74zE

Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi

I love Boman Irani. As does most of the country I am certain. And I also like Farah Khan for the movies that she makes. Except the last one which bombed miserably and I must say was really baaaad. But I hadn’t quite expected that the bad luck and loss of talent in direction would rub off on the sheer confidence that is required on screen. What is worse is that it seems to be contagious as well. And that it has rubbed off so badly on Boman Irani that he seems to have forgotten how to act.

Never – and I seriously mean NEVER – have I seen Boman Irani so much at sea with a concept that is like second skin to him. Even when he was playing really weird characters like the principal in Main Hoon Na, Boman has always regaled us with his comfort on screen and commitment to the role. But I guess with SFKTNP he has been successfully downgraded to the level of a bad actor. A below par Boman still overshadows the lowly mortals around him as the 45 year old Parsee Underwear salesman who doesn’t seem to be able to find a suitable match – Farhad Pastakia

And one of them is the latest presenter of movies in the style of a documentary – Farah Khan. All through SFKTNP you cannot help but feel sorry for the moments that the audience has to look at her constipated expressions. Even news readers present with so much more passion. I am sure Bela Bhansali Sehgal was high on some really potent stuff when she decided to cast her in the role of the middle aged woman who has chosen to stay single because her father is in a coma – Shirin Fuggawala.

Shirin and Farhad meet when Shirin walks into the store where Farhad is the salesman to buy a bra. Over the next few days, the two of them bump into each other several times and love (read louv) happens. But the Fuggawala – Pastakia union is fraught with risk from day one. Simply put because of the fact that Shirin has successfully managed to get Mrs. Pastakia (Daisy Irani) really upset by removing the illegal water tank that was build by Mr. Pastakia before he passed – The last memory that they have of Farhad’s father.

What could have been a really sweet love story turns out to be a weak attempt at entertainment with several corny one liners and some really bad jokes thrown in as garnish. It was as if Bela was trying to say, “You thought my direction was bad? Look at the screenplay. Its worse”. But definitely not worse than Farah Khan on the other side of the camera. That has to take the cake this time around. The insipid music doesn’t do much to help things either. 3 on 10 for a movie that has proven once again that our critics are bought out straight through.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJq9nU1FFpc