Shaadi Ke Side Effects

Many moons from now, there will be a question asked in any number of quizzes across the country. What is the significance of the dialogue, "congratulations - its a baby girl" in Indian cinema. The answer is that it is my good friend Sudhendra Sharma's first dialogue on the silver screen. To make things better, it is a credited performance. Notice Doctor in the Delivery Room in the end credits.

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag

If there was any doubt about whether Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra’s family had a long-standing feud with that of Milkha Singh then it cannot be more obvious.  I say this because of the several methods available for revenge, ROM has resorted to the one that is cheapest, meanest and downright scumbaggish.  He has successfully destroyed the legacy of who “was” probably India’s best athlete to date.

Karthik Calling Karthik

It was only a matter of time before I got around to writing the review for this one.  Yes you can get the snide remarks started in response to this post.  Or even the corny jokes because nothing lesser would be expected as a response.  I am well aware and totally prepared for the same.

Rock On!

Rock On! was an absolute hit when it released. Personally, I was quite surprised at the huge success that it had at the BO. I wasn’t too impressed when I saw it for the first time. I thought it was good alright. But I didn’t quite get what the entire hullabaloo was about. But then as the days have gone by and as you see the re-runs on TV and start looking at the story again and again I guess it kind of grows on you.

I really cannot put my finger on one thing that makes Rock On! a good movie to watch. Would it be the story which has a genuine aspect of making things work against all odds? Possible. Magik is a rock band that has 4 people – Aditya Shroff aka Adi (Farhan Akhtar) – lead singer, Joseph Mascarenhas aka Joe (Arjun Rampal) – guitar, Rob Nancy (Luke Kenny) – keyboards and Kedar Zaveri aka Killer Drummer aka KD (Purab Kohli) – Drums.

They are quite a rage with the crowds and win the annual Rock Band Hunt. En route to cutting their first album, the hang ups that come with the producers and the record labels get them quite worked up. And when Joe decides that enough is enough, it comes down to a fist fight with the Music Video Director and eventually Adi. Of course the band breaks up.

A few years later now and each one of them are on different ways. Some – like Adi are successful but unhappy Investment Bankers. Others – like Joe are unsuccessful but unhappy out of work guitarists. A chance meeting occurs between KD and Sakshi (Prachi Desai – Adi’s wife – at the jewelry store that KD helps his dad with. One thing leads to another and the band slowly but surely gets back together.

Another success factor of the movie could have been the sincere effort put in by the entire cast. Sincere and really good too. Actually, I cannot think of a single person – even the small role that the likes of Suraj Jagan played – who did not come up with the goods in terms of what the role demanded. I thought the band – together – was very good. But the find of the movie had to be Shahana Goswami in her first major role.

However, what I believe has kept Rock On! in the minds of everyone since then has to be the music from Shankar Ehsaan Loy which was as rock as it could have been – at least in this country. They even experimented with a hard rock number in “Zehreelay” which was sung very well by Suraj Jagan. Not surprisingly, it wasn’t the most popular number. And much as I am not a huge fan of Javed Akhtar – I think he was fantastic this time around.

Much as I hate to correct myself on my initial assessment of the movie – Rock On! is one of the better ones to come out of Bollywood in the past decade. It could actually make it to the top 10 of the decade quite easily. Different. Brave. Well treated by Abhishek Kapoor. All the ingredients that go into making a good solid musical. Watch it if you can. It keeps playing quite often on TV these days. 7 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugzdDjnqfW4

Don 2

I liked Don when it was remade. The secret to that was to look at it as a completely different movie, independent of the Big B block buster which released some 3 decades earlier. A lot of people I know loved Don (2006) and the so called “purists” hated it to the core. I was, as accepted earlier, part of the former set of people. I thought Farhan Akhtar’s adaptation was superb and deserved a 7 on 10 on my scale to say the least. It was slickly made. It had great music. And most importantly it was finished beautifully.

The twist towards the end has kept people waiting for the past 5 years. Everyone who left that hall knew there was a Don 2 coming. It would have been stupid not to have capitalized on the brilliant opportunity that Farhan had created. Now why would he wait for 5 years to come up with Don 2 is a question only he can answer. It baffles me to no end. The concept of making the sequel along with the first movie and only delaying the release was not new to the industry when Don released. I would have released Don 2 within a year of Don. Excel Entertainment thought differently I guess. Excel was wrong.

Don 2 opens 5 years after the dramatic escape that Don (Shah Rukh Khan) manages to pull off under the noses of Roma (Priyanka Chopra) & Malik (Om Puri) and Co. By then Don has complete control of the Asian Drug Market and is hot on the heels of the Europeans who have created a cartel to kill him. But then as everyone knows “Don Ko Pakadna….”. So killing him would be out of the question right? After escaping from the attempted murder, he turns himself into the Interpol which continues to be led by his favourite Junglee Billee. All a build up to get into the same Malaysian jail that Vardaan (Boman Irani) is housed in and use his help in his next venture – stealing the plates for that are used to make the Euro from the DZB.

Don 2 may as well have been called Mission Impossible (Hindi). The list of inspirations from Hollywood is endless and that’s what probably disappointed me about this movie. Why? Because I think Farhan Akhtar is one of the finest directors and story tellers we have in our time. Why he would stoop down to “inspiration” is a bit beyond me. It will be for the first time that I would give a Farhan directed movie less than 7 on 10. Also disappointing is the finishing which is really Farhan’s forte. The effects seem “chipkaoed” (Stuck) and not seamless. The screenplay and dialogues lacked the impact usually associated with him with the exception of some instances such as “No Autographs please”. The story was well – nothing we haven’t seen before. The editing was just about acceptable. The consistency errors were just shooting through the roof!!! All very unlike Farhan. Seriously wonder if he was on LSD or something while shooting.

In the acting department, Boman Irani was head and shoulders above everyone else by a country mile and a half. No one but Shah Rukh can pull off this role which demands so much of arrogance – a trait that comes naturally to the King. Piggy Chops continues to look good as the Interpol officer who has time for a French Manicure and the best of fashion – but only look good. Lara Dutta is the sincere water girl, room service girl, courier girl, odd job girl etc. with no role per se and also ill fitting clothes. Kunal Kapoor’s role is pivotal but really badly essayed. To make matters worse the Shankar Ehsaan Loy music is lack luster to say the least.

In all, is Don 2 worth watching. Yeah I guess so. Is it close to Farhan’s best – nowhere. Worth spending time on? You would have booked your tickets by now and so go ahead I and watch it. Will you come out of the screen feeling happy – nope. Disappointed? – nope. It is the feeling of being let down by some of India’s finest coming together and delivering a product that is barely average which is worse than being disappointed. Is it better than MI4 Ghost Protocol – hell yes!!! 6 on 10 I say.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2265947673/

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Welcome to Spain – one of the most gorgeous countries in the world. It is seemingly out of a picture postcard and has oh! so many things to see and do – and when you are done with it, you can just laze around doing well… nothing and still feel great about it. A visit to Spain must include and start with this gorgeous place which is arguably the best city in the world – Gaudi’s City aka Barcelona. The Catalan province offers sights that are absolutely out of a picture postcard. One can also choose to indulge in a bit of art especially those from Indian artistes who have fathered children back in India and run away – petrified at the thought of being a parent.

And then you move onto the absolutely gorgeous Costa Brava towards the north east of Catalonia where the probability of meeting a gorgeous diving instructor of Indian origin who stays in London and goes by the name of Laila (Katrina Kaif) is like 100% - especially if you book in advance. The ocean @ Costa Brava defines the term “Clear Blue” and is perfecto for diving. So what if you haven’t dived before and are petrified of the water, the gorgeous instructor will ensure you are at peace and while you are at it, you find some as well…. Inner peace that is. After you have learnt diving, and found inner peace, you move to Valencia where you must spend a few days in a swanky villa courting the diving instructor and then make your way thanks to her request to the La Tomatina festival @ Buñol, Spain. Here you will also meet a cute Spanish girl who will fall in love with you without knowing a word that you speak.

The next stop in your trip would be the all the way down south from the north east, to the all time famous district of Seville which offers you crash courses in Sky Diving – an activity that I have always wanted to do but cannot thanks to me being only about 20 kgs above the admissible mark of weight for sky diving. After your have finished your thrills in life, you have to make your way back up North because a visit to Spain cannot be completed without the Pamplona Running of the Bulls – another brilliant way to have a near death experience. Now mind you, La Tomatina happens late August and the Bull Run in early July but time travel is possible in a Zoya Akhtar movie. After doing all of the above, you would figure out that one must live life for today because Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (You only live once).

By far the biggest advertising campaign that I have seen for Spain in India, I would not be surprised if ZNMD was sponsored by the government of Spain – a brilliant new business model cracked by the smarter breed of movie makers. The only difference between a programme on TLC or Times NOW or Discovery Channel would be decent humour thrown in and some crappy dialogues with some good performances from the likes of a Farhan Akhtar make this movie a decent one time watch. Hritik has always been a good actor but tries too hard as always. With Abhay Deol & Kalki, I am not quite able to figure out if the role demanded it or they were just too uncomfortable with the idea of being in mainstream cinema. Katrina was gorgeous as always. Zoya shows marginal improvement over her first attempt @ Bollywood but she will still come on an pre-Oscar show and pretend to know everything about movie making. And yes, the final dance sequence is blatantly borrowed from Hitch – frame by frame. So much for originality. Overall the movie was average at best.


And any rumours that you hear about ZNMD being close to DCH are just that – RUMOURS. DCH was miles ahead of its time and will continue to be picked in the list of path breaking cinema from Bollywood. ZNMD doesn’t stand a chance. 5 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkpoBIseGAc