Bodyguard

Eid Mubarak to one and all and much like previous times, the much awaited Eid release starring Salman Khan is out today. And I obviously had to ensure that I catch up with it at the earliest but this time around I had the misfortune of watching the movie in a really cramped PVR screen 4 at Ambience Mall Gurgaon. And that too from the 3rd row. Sorry about that Renu and thanks for patiently sitting through what turned out to be the least entertaining of the previous 3 Salman Khan flicks that released on Eid. There was a joke that has been doing its rounds over the past few days. 2009 – IPS Officer; 2010 – Inspector; 2011 – Bodyguard; 2012 – Chowkidaar?; 2013 – Chaprasi? Has Salman come to the end of his winning streak so to speak which started with Wanted that I would have easily rated as a 5 on 10 if not more. Dabangg was not a great movie from a perspective of quality of movie making but it was 100% entertainment to say the least. I had given it a 4 on 10 but also a 10 on 10 on pure entertainment value. Bodyguard sees Salman getting down to the abyss from a perspective of quality of movies over the past few years. One can only hope that the positive is – you can only get better from here. Only time will tell.

Bodyguard definitely gives the die hard Salman Khan fan and all the women in the house a lot to cheer about and drool over respectively. There are the magical Salman moments that can only be described as simply stunning & outstanding to say the least. The burst of water from a pipe that sprays itself with utmost force onto Salman’s torso forcing the buttons of his tight black uniform open – actually sending the buttons flying all over the place – and the shirt in itself is forced off those rippling muscles (at age 46 mind you) and onto to face of his villain who has to really put in some effort and goes by the name of Aditya Panscholi. An act that can be pulled off only by Salman and no one else (apologies to Rajani Saar but we are talking about Bollywood here). And then there is the most kick ass of all dialogues – Mujhpe Ek Ehsaan Karna… Ke mujhpe koi ehsaan na karna (Do me just one favour… that you don’t do me any favours). Just that the best Salman dialogue in this movie pales in comparison to – Ek baar mein commitment kar deta hoon toh mein apne aap ki bhi nahin suntan (once I have made a commitment then I don’t even listen to myself).

That there are a dime a dozen cheap dialogues thrown in by the ridiculously fat new comer Rajat Rawail who plays the role of Tsunami do nothing to add value to the movie is just one of the low points. These dialogues not only dilute the punch that Salman carries all the way through to the end. Performances from anyone else just don’t come upto the level that he has. Kareena will prove to be just well dressed eye candy to most people who are her fans but to those who aren’t fans like this writer it is just one painful scene after the other. The music by Himes bhai (Himmesh Reshammiya – with all the m’s in the world) is decent but not one of his better works. Overall, you will struggle through Bodyguard and will survive if you are a Salman fan. And of course Katrina looks heavenly in the 2 minutes that she comes on screen. 3 on 10 overall.

The trailer can be viewed on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoF4OJkWH3U

I Hate Luv Storys

Jay (not Jai) Dhingra (Imran Khan) is your average twenty something dude living in the city of dreams who has time for almost everything in his life but for love. He works as an Assistant Director to Vir Kapoor (Samir Soni) who is the leading director in Bollywood. Vir’s passion is to make sobby, atypical, Bollywood, style love stories which involve scenes where the heroine should have pink bedrooms and precisely 4 drops of water on her face in a rain sequence. Ironically, Jay, as the title suggests, hates love stories.

Jay’s best friend is Nikhil (Aseem Tiwari - the fat guy in the sprite commercials) who spends the better part of his life (wonder where he gets the time) making graphs on various parameters related to love. In their spare time, Jay and X spend hours @ the local joint living their singledom to the fullest through litres of beer. Atypical youth of today I say… sigh…. reminds me of my heydays. Wish I cud go back 

As luck would have it, Jay is sent by Vir to watch the latest love flick in theatres and voila… he bumps into Simran (Sonam A Kapoor) who as luck would have it, is watching the movie alone. Another twist of fate gets them to be seated next to each other. I only wish I was as lucky. Now u know why I don’t mind going to movies along (Roshni Gomes are you listening???)

Jay manages to chew Simran’s brains to the hilt and ruins her movie experience but doesn’t realize that yet another twist of fate is going to land him working for the lass since she is Vir’s new art director.

Jay’s initial attempts to flirt with Simran come to naught since she is already engaged to guess who – Raj (gawd – how much will we stretch this Raj Simran story) Dholakia who is probably the one of 2 things that could be labeled as over the top in the movie. Raj’s is a Gujju boy and Simran’s mum wants her to get married to one and definitely not a Punjabi Munda (a mistake she made some twenty years back).

A very close friend of mine once told me that the best person you could get married to is someone who works with you. You just spend so much of time with each other that the familiarity and more importantly the respect is second to none. Although I don’t believe in the same, this is exactly what happens over the few weeks that Simran and Jay spend time over work. The Bad Boy gets the nice girl to fall for her. What happens next? Watch it to find out.

Other than the colour co-ordinated clothes of Jai & Simran and the over the top acting of Jennifer (Bruna Abdullah), the rest of the movie is good fun and worth a Sunday afternoon watch along with the family

Imran Khan continues the freshness that he got to the table with Jaane tu Ya Jaane Na. I hope he forgets about Kidnap and moves on. Sonam A Kapoor, I have always believed will metamorphise into a good actress. She has improved with each of her performances, albeit marginally. But I am betting on her giving a great performance in Aisha which is up next. The supporting cast is above average and delivers what is expected of them.

Vishal Shekhar’s music takes us back to the Dostana days. Similar genre of music. Easy listening. 2 songs which stand out are Bahara and Bin Tere. Will be the caller tune for quite a few people in the days to come.

Punit Malhotra, the 28 year old debutant director gives us a lot to look forward to in the future. I am quite sure he will come up with a couple of really good ones in the days to come.

I Hate Luv Storys plays the numerology card with the title Luv Storys not Love Stories. Sonam A Kapoor not just Sonam Kapoor also seems to have worked. I think it is so so much better than Sonaam Kapur or some other permutation. Either ways, both of these seem to have worked as the front page of TOI earlier this week proclaimed. I “HIT” LUV STORYS.

Verdict – Worth a watch. 5 on 10…. Lets make that 6 on 10 for good first time direction and my new found love for Sonam A Kapoor and the fact that I am a sucker for happy endings.