Hindi Medium (2017) (Hindi)

A good cast and a good plot / storyline doesn’t necessarily make a good movie.  No other movie in recent times can come close to this adage as much as HINDI MEDIUM.  The movie has Irrfan Khan in it and therefore it must be good. Keep in mind that Irrfan also have non-movies such as Jazbaa, Thank You and Acid Factory amongst others to his credit.  He is human.  He makes mistakes.

Prem Ratan Dhan Payo

It has been nearly 2 months since I put the proverbial pen to paper.  I have watched movies in the interim – they are like the air that I breathe – but a combination of writer’s block and just plain lethargy prevented me from writing.  Not that cinema of the likes of Pyar Ka Punchnama 2 or for that matter Shandaar didn’t inspire me to overcome the lethargy.

Sooper Se Ooper

To Vir Das I would like to say this – Having been a stand-up comedian for the time that you have been, one would have guessed that you would understand the fine line between a really bad script and an acceptable comedy.  Why then would you justify your choice of actually doing a movie that was as bad a script that it could have been.

Dabanng 2

Did you know that in a Zeus phone you can play songs and the package includes a camera as well? And did you know that in that phone, you cannot figure out that your own son is calling you to poke fun by pretending to be a woman who is cheating on her husband.

And did you know that the only way to be Dabanng other than being Salman Khan is to buy a Suzuki Hayate? Did you also know that you need to buy insurance to keep the future of your family safe? In fact, you can buy insurance products where you will earn continuously after death as well.

Did you also know that Hajmola is the best cure for an upset stomach? And that you could have more Hajmola to cure an upset stomach because of having too much Hajmola. And lets not forget www.xoom.com. That’s the latest word in money transfer. It gets your money across to your loved ones within 24 hours!!! WOW!!! I mean how cool is that? 24 hours??? Who could have thought of that???

Lastly, did you know that it takes a few weeks for Makkhi Singh (Arbaaz Khan) to figure out it was he who came back from the jungle. Oh come on!!! What am I ranting about? Maybe it is just my frustration and disappointment with all the irrelevant crap that I was put through for over 2 hours!!! Thankfully it was just a little over 2 hours but the 40 mins for ads and fillers also contributed

By now you would have figured out that there is very little to speak about in Dabanng 2. I know sequels are difficult to make and especially if you do not have the same director (Abhinav Singh Kashyap). But in case of Dabanng 2, it didn’t matter much. Arbaaz was as bad. Actually he was probably a bit better also. But that could not compensate for an absolutely stale story.

There was a title song, a street romaans (romance) song, a song in Dubai, a song with cops getting drunk and an item song. All by Sajid Wajid. Al sounded near identical if not actually identical. There were a few fight scenes. Actually lesser that Dabanng. And this time they weren’t even believable. Either ways, I should not have expected too much. Disappointing. It will do well but nowhere close to Dabanng. 3 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7nPN1M9zVcI

Delhi Safari

I must admit first of all that a few minutes into Delhi Safari, I started losing interest and my ability to stay awake for too long. I, however, managed to stay awake all the way through using quite a bit of my will power in the process.

Now, Delhi Safari is not just an outright bad movie by any stretch of imagination. It is just that we may be the biggest suppliers for animation world over but when it comes to creating animation movies ourselves, we fall woefully short. I wonder why?

Delhi Safari tracks the story of a bunch of animals who stay in the Sanjay Gandhi National Park in Borivili, Mumbai. Thankfully, the animals are the same ones that are found around this area. A family of leopards – Sultan (Suniel Shetty), Begum (Urmila Matondkar) and their cub Yuvraj (Swini Khara).

Then there is the laid back and sensible Bagga the Bear (Boman Irani). But the chief mischief maker and the grey character is the monkey – Bajrangi (Govinda) who harbours hopes of ruling the jungle because as per him – the monkeys used to rule the world much before man came in.

Trouble starts brewing when rampant construction starts moving into the park and in the bargain, Sultan gets killed. The rest of the animals, pushed by Yuvraj’s innocence and confidence decide to take their voices all the way to Delhi – to the powers that be. Accompanying them is Alex (Akshaye Khanna), a parrot – who is the only animal who can speak the language that us humans understand.

Now, here was a superb opportunity to pivot India into the fascinating world of animation. There was a story that had a strong social angle. There were characters which were created quite well and true to the local landscape. The voice overs were to be done by a bunch of really talented people – Govinda, Boman Irani, Sanjay Mishra, Saurabh Shukla and even Prem Chopra were really good with their voices.

But there were the tacky dialogues and weak one liners that fall flat. And most importantly, when you feel that the paws of the animals don’t look like they are touching the ground – you feel the disappointment. Why not spend that extra bit of money to get the end product finished well. Always the case with Indian animation – penny wise, pound moronic – not just foolish. 5 on 10. Watch on TV if ever it comes up there.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMem1yAmAQw

Not a Love Story

Ram Gopal Varma could not have picked up a better time for the trailers of his movie to be released and then the eventual movie release. It was bang at the time when the verdict on the Maria Susairaj case was about to be announced. A couple of weeks into the trailer and one of the most absurd verdicts (that’s what I believe – it is totally personal) ever by the Indian judiciary was announced. I guess it has been a little under a month since the verdict and unfortunately for RGV, Anna and the World Champions, for totally different reasons, have hogged the lime light. As of now, everyone in this country is interested only in the Jan Lokpal Bill. And maybe a few would be interested in knowing the build up of the Susairaj case and where it finished.

And why in the blazes would RGV start the movie with a disclaimer that this is a work of fiction. Surely all of us know that the movie is about the Susairaj case and it would only mean that Maria Madam and Jerome Sir refused to co-operate with the RGV Factory in terms on the money that was offered. Maybe they will cash in on it over time at a much higher level – crime is after all a very lucrative profession as has been proved in the past in more developed economies.

That being said, RGV also ends the movie with 4 dramatic statements – please don’t hold me to this because it may not be verbatim but I am quite certain it was something to this extent.
“The Prosecution wanted both of them to be killed
Their lawyers wanted them to kill each other
The two of them wanted to die together
Finally the verdict is still awaited”
RGV Sir – Gross!!!! How much cornier do you want to get?

The movie starts off with great promise and intensity thanks to Deepak Dobriyal who has put up another stellar performance and kind of keeps the movie alive. I was quite intrigued though with the choice of Dobriyal for this role but he comes out on tops. RGV uses his signature camera angles which are a bit off beat and it does make you think that RGV is back. But then one starts feeling a tad giddy in a bit. But for a couple of specific shots which gave the output that was desired, the other angles only made the movie look more like a horror story and not one that was based on a crime of passion. Mahie Gill has never been able to get back to the near perfect performance she gave in Dev D. I guess it will continue to be her nemesis in a manner of speaking. Needs to stop trying too hard to get there. The same syndrome as Jr. B after Yuva. Not much of a support cast with the exception of Zakir Hussain (remember Rashid in Sarakar) who is the only person who comes close to Dobriyal’s performance.

Overall disappointing. I was so hoping that RGV was back. I really like RGV and find it quite sad that he seems to have gone onto a different planet. Either we need to join him there or he needs to get back to Mother Earth. 5 on 10 is what I would give NALS. Watchable but don’t expect too much.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wrbcn2k-FMI

Teen Thay Bhai

Teen Thay Bhai marks the debut of two people onto the big screen. The first is Mrigdeep Singh Lamba who makes his entry as a director. The other is the super star of the idiot box, Govinda’s niece - Ragini Khanna (Bhaskar Bharti / Sasural Genda Phool). When ROMP would have looked at the resume of this Assistant Director of hits like Don, misses like Yuvraaj and would have said to himself that this dude seems to be a decent bet. But I would also hazard a guess that ROMP has not kept himself as part of this production venture and has allowed Lamba to take as many liberties as he wanted. The resultant movie is one that seems significantly over the top, peppered with slapstick humour and a mish mash of sorts. And during the entire sham you are left wondering what 2 class actors who usually go by the names of Om Puri and Deepak Dobriyal are doing on screen.


The story primary revolves around 3 brothers who can barely look at each other or listen to the other’s voice, leave along staying under the same roof for a few minutes. The Gill family has been bought up by their Dadaji (Yograj Singh) who like any traditional Punjabi from the village is passionate about his land and doesn’t want to sell it off to anyone and brushes off a prospective buyer much to the disappointment of his eldest grandson Shikharjeet aka Chixie. So when Chixie decides to se. ll of his portion of the land, he gets a dose of “Tu apni maa to bech aaya”!!! (you have sold off your mother – when loosely translated coz these villagers treat their land like their mothers). Chixie thinks he has had enough and walks out of home to try and make something out of his life. A few decades later Chixie (Om Puri) finds himself married to a nag and the father of three extremely large sized daughters who are not able to find any suitable grooms. Most of them run away on sight. Chixie’s younger brother Harpreet aka Happy Gill (Deepak Dobriyal) is a dentist whose diagnosis of every single problem is “Shifting Pain”. The youngest, Fancy (Shreyas Talpade) is passionate about riding, acting and his brown Pomeranian Shanky and is absolutely good for nothing. Their gory lives are turned better when Dadaji passes away and leaves them a fortune of sorts. But to earn the fortune, they have to spend 3 days every year for the next 3 years under the same roof. Quite a challenge for these nitwits.

Other than Om Puri and Deepak Dobriyal who make the script look better than it actually is, there is not much to look forward to in TTB. Ragini Khanna is refreshing and can probably give Anushka Sharma a run for her money for the best smile in Bollywood but that’s about where it ends. Too small a role for me to make any judgement about her acting skills and I would be unfair if I didn’t say there was some potential there. Rounding off the acting department with the biggest misfit in this movie – Shreyas Talpade who cannot speak Punjabi to save his life and has done his capabilities a lot of damage with this movie. He is much better than what you see in TTB. Should make some better choices in the future. Overall TTB, as mentioned earlier doesn’t have too much of direction, script or editing. Could have done with a truck load of cuts. Vastly disappointing. 4 on 10 thanks to some acting from Om Puri and Dobriyal. Coimpletely forgettable other than that.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd6XG8ZO5UI

Tanu Weds Manu

The trailers of Tanu Weds Manu have been around for so long now that people already know the story for sure. There is a slim chance that you would have missed them in the halls. And if you are a movie addict like this writer, then you would have probably been tearing your hair apart by now, wondering when the movie would be releasing finally. It finally did yesterday. Phew.

Director Aanand Rai (I wonder why people are so hell bent on numerology) uses a star cast which doesn’t have too many well known names (except Madhavan and Kangana) but has all the faces that you would have seen in some movie or the other in the recent past. The fast paced first half starts off with the build up to Tanuja Trivedi (Kangana Ranaut) who is the kind of girl that most parents would want to be rid off sooner than later. A graduate from Delhi University, she is the kind of girl who would give the best of guys a scare. Smart, spunky, good looking and with a sharp tongue, she is far from being any man’s dream girl. She drinks, She smokes, She dopes. And that combination is quite lethal for a traditional UP family. Oh and did I mention the fact that she has had a few affairs and has actually run away from home a couple of times in vain. So much for being a “Sundar, Susheel, Sanskaron wali ladki” (Beautiful, Talented, Cultured girl – pardon my translation if incorrect)

And to fall into this trap is Dr. Manu Sharma ( Madhavan) who has come back from London thanks to parental pressures to get married – although I find that a bit hard to believe coz his parents seem to be the understanding kinds. His mom is quite a nag but then which mom isn’t especially in these matters? Dad is super cool and so is Pappi (Deepak Dobriyal) his family friend. The foursome make their way to Kanpur for the first step in the girl hunt – The Trivedi household – where there is complete and utter chaos coz – Jijaaji aa rahe hain (the brother in law is on his way – already? I thought the marriage is some time away). The girl is obviously in no mood to get married. Not because she is against the concept. But because her thrill in life is to be a rebel and go against everything that her parents ask her to do. And also because she wants to get married to her boyfriend. But our hero is unaware of all this and still falls in love with a girl who has fallen asleep on a quart of vodka and 5 sleeping pills. When she does come to her senses, she asks him to call off the wedding. Now what?

The first half of TWM is quite entertaining with a lot of clean humour and truck loads of over acting by Kangana Ranaut which is not very successful in masking the sincere effort from Madhavan and a solid one from the rest of the cast. One would be surprised at the attention to detail that the numerology believer director has put into finer points such as Delhi Airport being actually Delhi airport and not like most other movies where Hyderabad airport is called out as anything from New York to London to even Sydney at times. It remains to be seen, however if the other scenes were actually shot on location. I could vouch for Lucknow and Kanpur but not for the likes of a Kapurthala. What does not work for TWM though is the immense emphasis on every syllable that Kangana makes (That is the way she talks) and a second half that goes a way bit awry and very slow. The music is apt for the locations but not too great. Overall if you believe the successful formula of movies based on marriage that has always worked in India, you would enjoy TWM. I give it a 5 on 10. Its definitely watchable.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVdksjTQLjk&feature=fvst