Krrish 3

Let me be honest at the very outset. I walked into Krish 3 expecting a disaster. In fact I was hoping that it would be a disaster. So much that I am beginning to believe in that dialogue from Om Shanti Om, "agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho toh poori kayanat usse tumse milani ki koshish mein lag jaati hai" (if u sincerely wish for something then the universe conspires to ensure that you get it).

Grand Masti

Let me starts with 10 vignettes from Indra Kumar’s latest blockbuster where the only thing cornier than the name is the movie itself. I refuse to translate them because of the trauma I will be causing my readers who are unaware of Hindi.  I cannot have their blood on my hands. Here goes

1. Nirodh ka Virodh
2. Pussy kahaan ghusi
3. Pichwada hai kya Vijayawada
4. Kahin iska joke hamein thok na de
5. Get cozy in the jacuzzi
6. Pocket mein koi rocket hai
7. Chooha mota hai par khali tera lota hai
8. Only one thing can save us from maran – Vastraharan
9. Is se pehle tumhari choote grip, we have to strip
10. Its not the spring boys. Its the thing.

You are free to interpret the context in which these lines were introduced into the script.  Grand Masti is nothing but an attempt to mash up all editions of American Pie upto the last one – American Reunion (2012).  There is little that can be called original or not slapstick.

But to be fair - let us look at what was great about the movie? It wasn’t an unnecessarily long movie – unless you consider that the movie itself was not required and could have been done away with – it finishes in under 2 hours (2.5 including the intervals).  And the other good part was that no one associated with the movie made any bones about what it is before the release – we were promised a senseless sex comedy and that’s what we got.

No matter what I say, the audience will have its final say and in this case I am reminded of a tweet from Mihir Fadnavis, “Every time someone tells me Shuddh Desi Romance is a 'boring' film I'm convinced that we deserve films like Zanjeer only. Bas goo hi khao”. (Apologies for not seeking permission Mihir – but the tweet was too apt for GM as well). I am going to avoid ripping GM to shreds because it will not matter.

The audience was not just laughing at the below standard humour.  They were jumping in their seats while splitting their sides.  I can guarantee that I was the only person who had a poker faced expression.  The only thing scarier than Grand Masti – and I mean “SCARIER” – was the trailer of WARNING before the movie. No comments on the movie or any aspect related to it from my side.  2 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L4qT6-fNzQ

Zila Ghaziabad

I walked into Zila Ghaziabad with an absolutely clear mind.  I had no doubts or apprehensions that I was going to watch a 2^nd grade or maybe even a 3^rd grade “inspiration” of a “great” franchise that is being run by Khan family.  Arre Salman Khan family re.  Not the other Khan/s.

Jayantabhai Ki Luv Story

Yet another joke that has been doing its rounds of late and is so damn true its not funny at all!!! The best way to hide your porn collection on your PC is to name the folder – THE VIVIEK OBEROI COLLECTION.  Oh I’m sorry.  Vivek. He has dropped the “I” from his name but it seems to have made little difference to his luck.