Finding Fanny

I cannot classify Finding Fanny as a Romantic Comedy but it is one.  I cannot classify it as a satire but it is one.  I cannot classify it as a Romance movie either but it is one.  To typecast Finding Fanny under one genre of cinema would be a travesty because it has a bit of everything in it.  And therefore I will take the safe way out and put it under that ever safe genre called, “Drama”.

Dedh Ishqiya

Pick the same director - check

Pick the same lead cast - check

Add 2-3 brilliant actors as seasoning – check

Retain some of the "characters" from the first edition – check

Pick yet another rustic premise / story – check

Add flavour with the tongue of The Nawabs – check

Make sure that the music is acceptable if not brilliant – check

Get a great cinematographer to create some gorgeous shots  - check

Get a location that connects with both rural and urban India – check

Hire a set designer who can make that location look even more beautiful - check

Jackpot (Hindi) (2013)

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Krrish 3

Let me be honest at the very outset. I walked into Krish 3 expecting a disaster. In fact I was hoping that it would be a disaster. So much that I am beginning to believe in that dialogue from Om Shanti Om, "agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho toh poori kayanat usse tumse milani ki koshish mein lag jaati hai" (if u sincerely wish for something then the universe conspires to ensure that you get it).

JohnDay

The posters claim, “An Edge of the seat thriller from the makers of A Wednesday”.  The similarity with A Wednesday unfortunately ends with the fact that Naseeruddin Shah was part of both movies.  The premise and story of JohnDay is significantly different from that of A Wednesday.

Sona Spa

I love it when horrible movies are shorter than expected.  At least that ensures limited torture.  So Mr. Makarand Deshpande, “Thank you so very much for meeting my expectations and keeping this horrific movie down to less than 2 hours.  I would have actually gone one step further and not made it at all”.

Maximum

Over the past few weeks, we have seen several debates about movies being really slow. The confusion has always been on whether the movie is slow or intense. For my money’s worth, Shanghai and Gangs of Wasseypur were supremely intense movies and not to be confused with being slow. Maximum on the other hand is a movie that can qualify to be called “Really Slow”!!!!

For once, I have seen some stalwarts of Indian cinema act on screen bereft of any intent or commitment to the role whatsoever. That, the likes of Naseeruddin Shah still does a great job is credit to the man’s talent. However, for the first time, I have seen the likes of Vinay Pathak fall flat – really flat. As if there were no reason for him to actually act in this movie. As if they were doing a favour on director Kabeer Kaushik or whoever was the producer involved – much like the story line which involves knowing the right people at the right places and calling in the right favours at the right time.

ACP Pratap Pandit (Sonu Sood) is by his own admission a problem child. It is the year 2003 and Mumbai Police is probably at its peak thanks to the initiatives taken between Pratap Pandit and his boss. However, the team which keeps Mumbai safe is being divided between Pandit’s Boss – Subodh Singh and his counter part in Anti Terrorism – Khanna. There is a turf war building up and Subodh and Khanna have both got their pawns ready in the form of Pandit and Pandit’s ex mentor – Arun Inamdar (Naseeruddin Shah).

Maximum follows the two war horses butting heads in a battle to gain the maximum power that is possible given the circumstances – just so that one can stay a step ahead of the other at all times. A battle that rages over 8 years and results first in the rise of Pandit and then the gradual fall as he keeps losing ground. The movie however, also clearly shows as to how the department lands up being the eventual “Biggest Loser”.

Other than the main performances from the expected faces which flatter to deceive, Maximum is littered with more lackadiscal acting from Sonu Sood & Neha Dhupia. Only two people come up with really solid performances – Mohan Agashe and Rajendra Gupta. Why the rest fail to come up with committed performances will remain a mystery to me for sure.

Even the raunchy Hazel Keech – replete with love handles which could put Good Year out of business (with competition only from Vidya Balan as on date) – belting out Aa Ante Amalapuram doesn’t do much to raise the movie’s tempo. And Anjana Sukhani’s presence is all but irrelevant. Disappointing @ 4 on 10. Definitely expected more.

Watch the movie on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=InO-XttE2yc

4084

How often have we seen movies which has a star cast which is on the outside average and it turns out to be an exceptionally great movie. Take the case of Bheja Fry (the first one) or Tere Bin Laden. On the other hand you have movies which have exceptional star casts – actors who are known for their fantastic capability – which turn out to be damp squibs to say the least. Ones which make you tear your hair apart in frustration and disgust. Movies that make you really wonder about the possible weak moment at which the makers of the movie made one of these actors sign on the dotted line – and then used that signature to sell the concept to the other 3. Or were there methods which were not so legal utilized to get the 4 great actors to sign on the dotted line? Or is that that these actors are slaves to some exceptionally good quality marijuana that forces them to be high out of their wits (like those who predicted a 2-1 victory for India in the Australia series – sorry I had to get that in). Well if you haven’t figured out which category of movies tdoes Chaalis Chauraasi (4084) fall under then I am not quite certain who or what could help you out. Maybe the good quality marijuana that these actors are having may help out immensely.

When you see Naseeruddin Shah, Atul Kulkarni and Kay Kay Menon in the same screen you can be quite confident that there is a quality movie waiting for you right? Even when the 4th person in the cast is the not so highly rated but good Ravi Kissen. WRONG. When one of the cast plays the role of a car thief with a fetish for the age old Fiat which is fondly called Dukkar (Pig) in the Mumbai market – WRONG! And then there is one whose dream was to be a singer but is relegated to being a pimp because he gets into the good books of a dance bar owner – WRONG!! Or if you are a drug dealer with a Shetty sounding name and who doesn’t have much of a qualm in spreading the junk in society then – WRONG!!! And of course when one of them plays the role of a retired Head of Department (English) and has spent 10 years in jail for killing his wife then – DEFINITELY WRONG!!!!

Hriday Shetty hasn’t done his chances of a long term career in Bollywood too much good. What kind of a director makes actors with so much talent reduce themselves to the level of trite comedy – actually severely slapstick comedy? Even if it had to be done, then I would have expected some attention to be given to detail and some importance given to finishing or screenplay or dialogues or editing or story or cinematography or whatever it is that makes movies worth watching? Not sure about the actors but Hriday Shetty was surely smoking up when he made this movie because there is nothing much to really look forward to with 4084. A highly avoidable below par flick 4 on 10 is what I give it.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G0SaVc24WlY

Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara

Welcome to Spain – one of the most gorgeous countries in the world. It is seemingly out of a picture postcard and has oh! so many things to see and do – and when you are done with it, you can just laze around doing well… nothing and still feel great about it. A visit to Spain must include and start with this gorgeous place which is arguably the best city in the world – Gaudi’s City aka Barcelona. The Catalan province offers sights that are absolutely out of a picture postcard. One can also choose to indulge in a bit of art especially those from Indian artistes who have fathered children back in India and run away – petrified at the thought of being a parent.

And then you move onto the absolutely gorgeous Costa Brava towards the north east of Catalonia where the probability of meeting a gorgeous diving instructor of Indian origin who stays in London and goes by the name of Laila (Katrina Kaif) is like 100% - especially if you book in advance. The ocean @ Costa Brava defines the term “Clear Blue” and is perfecto for diving. So what if you haven’t dived before and are petrified of the water, the gorgeous instructor will ensure you are at peace and while you are at it, you find some as well…. Inner peace that is. After you have learnt diving, and found inner peace, you move to Valencia where you must spend a few days in a swanky villa courting the diving instructor and then make your way thanks to her request to the La Tomatina festival @ Buñol, Spain. Here you will also meet a cute Spanish girl who will fall in love with you without knowing a word that you speak.

The next stop in your trip would be the all the way down south from the north east, to the all time famous district of Seville which offers you crash courses in Sky Diving – an activity that I have always wanted to do but cannot thanks to me being only about 20 kgs above the admissible mark of weight for sky diving. After your have finished your thrills in life, you have to make your way back up North because a visit to Spain cannot be completed without the Pamplona Running of the Bulls – another brilliant way to have a near death experience. Now mind you, La Tomatina happens late August and the Bull Run in early July but time travel is possible in a Zoya Akhtar movie. After doing all of the above, you would figure out that one must live life for today because Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara (You only live once).

By far the biggest advertising campaign that I have seen for Spain in India, I would not be surprised if ZNMD was sponsored by the government of Spain – a brilliant new business model cracked by the smarter breed of movie makers. The only difference between a programme on TLC or Times NOW or Discovery Channel would be decent humour thrown in and some crappy dialogues with some good performances from the likes of a Farhan Akhtar make this movie a decent one time watch. Hritik has always been a good actor but tries too hard as always. With Abhay Deol & Kalki, I am not quite able to figure out if the role demanded it or they were just too uncomfortable with the idea of being in mainstream cinema. Katrina was gorgeous as always. Zoya shows marginal improvement over her first attempt @ Bollywood but she will still come on an pre-Oscar show and pretend to know everything about movie making. And yes, the final dance sequence is blatantly borrowed from Hitch – frame by frame. So much for originality. Overall the movie was average at best.


And any rumours that you hear about ZNMD being close to DCH are just that – RUMOURS. DCH was miles ahead of its time and will continue to be picked in the list of path breaking cinema from Bollywood. ZNMD doesn’t stand a chance. 5 on 10.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LkpoBIseGAc

Saat Khoon Maaf

We have all grown up with Ruskin Bond and his writing in a variety of genres. But who would have thought that we would actually land up watching one of his more intense but yet casually written short stories make it to the big screen. Trust Vishal Bharadwaj to take up four pages of scribbled lines and chase one of the best Indian authors of our time to convert it into a 150 minute screenplay. And not just that, he has also managed to convince him to appear on screen in a 30 second cameo. The story titled Susanna’s Seven Husbands is now set to be permanently etched in our memories.

A single legged, hot tempered Keerti Chakra winning Major from the Indian Army who is as possessive about his wife as our friends across the border are about the blasphemy law is Susanna Anna-Marie Johannes’ (Priyanka Chopra) first husband – Edwin Rodrigues (Niel Nitin Mukesh). He is followed by a drug addict who plagiarizes songs from his college band called Jamshed Singh Rathod aka Jimmy Stetson aka Jim. A closeted sadomasochistic poet Wasiullah Khan (Irrfan Khan), A Russian Spy with a wife and kids in Russia – Nikolai Vronsky (Aleksandr Dyachenko) and an Inspector who grows into being a senior intelligence officer Keemat Lal (Annu Kapoor) are the next 3. Bringing up the rear is a Bengali medicine man Dr. Madhusoodhan Tarafdaar (Naseeruddin Shah) who has severe financial problems. Did I count seven?

What works for SKM is the fact that Vishal Bharadwaj can make anyone act. Niel Nitin Mukesh has been given a fresh lease of life but I have my doubts on him being able to sustain it for a longer period. John Abraham is impressive despite his best efforts not be. And Aleksandr Dyachenko in his first outing is equally good despite dialogues such as “Mein Tum Se Amar Prem karta hoon” and “Mere Paas Maa Hai”. Corny but well executed. Naseeruddin Shah, Irrfan Khan and Annu Kapoor are anyways amongst the finest actors that this country has seen. Priyanka exceeds herself yet again. Usha Uthup as Susanna’s nanny Maggie, leads the support cast with a fabulous performance as her partner in crime. The music is atypical Vishal Bharadwaj and very clearly seems to be made specifically with SKM in mind. The Dialogues are sharp and to the point. Narration is solid and the movie needed the time that was given to it. The use of light is superb in some scenes. Lovely editing. Nothing seems out of place.

So why then would I give a movie narrated in third person by Arun Kumar (Vivaan Shah) as a story to his wife Nandini (Konkona Sen Sharma) only 7 on 10. Well the surprisingly bad sound editing (at least in the print playing in PVR Mulund) kept aside I am unable to decide if I thought the movie was too perfect or had an X factor missing in it. That Vishal Bharadwaj gives a lot of credit to his audience’s intelligence could also have been a reason why I probably walked out of the hall feeling a tad incomplete. Somehow I am quite sure that this isn’t VBs best work to date. Omkara continues to be on top. Movie of the year so far though. Watch it.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLT-Nt-e_Vk

Peepli Live

Is Aamir Khan the man with the Midas touch in Bollywood? His first movie through production house AKP went all the way to the Oscars. The second one was a raging hit within the country and a launch pad for his nephew. The third, it would seem is as big a hit but from a completely different genre and with absolutely no “stars” in the true sense of the word – barring of course one gentleman who goes by the name of Naseeruddin Shah. I really would not call Peepli Live a comedy, unless of course it is preceded by Dark. The correct term would probably be Satire.


Natha (Omkar Das) and Budhiya (Raghuvir Yadav) are brothers who are deep in debt. Their farmland has been mortgaged with the bank who now wants to auction the land off since our brothers have not been able to pay the money back. The brothers stay with their Mother (Farrukh Jaffer), Natha’s wife Dhania (Shalini Vatsa) and Natha’s 3 kids. On their return from the bank, their only hope rests with Bhai Thakur (Sitaram Panchal) the local politician / representative for the ruling party of the state of Mukhya Pradesh. Thakur tells them in jest to commit suicide and that the government pays upto Rs.1 lac for families of farmers who have committed suicide. The two poor illiterate souls actually take this seriously, find out details and debate on who should commit suicide between them.

Parallely, on ITV, Nandita Malik (Malaika Shenoy) is interviewing Union Minister for Agriculture, Mr. Salim Kidwai (Naseerudding Shah) who more or less trivializes the issue of farmer suicides by claiming that a lot of them are natural deaths. He also turns it into a point of putting down the Government of Mukhya Pradesh which is led by the opposing party. ITV’s editor in charge is not happy with his falling TRPs and the fact that Bharat TV the Hindi National Channel is raking in the big numbers thanks to some ridiculous programming. Nandita is instructed to do whatever it takes to up the ratings. As luck would have it, a local newspaper journo, Rakesh from Jan Morcha over hears Natha and Budhiya planning their suicide. The ensuing article begins to create waves but Rakesh, smitten by Nandita, informs her first. Not for too long though coz the entire country now wants to see the man who is going to commit suicide on live Television.

Peepli Live is a superb satire on 4 issues that the country faces today. The fact that the progress from being an agri economy to a service based one has left a whole host of farmers completely high and dry. The favourite victim as most people who has seen the movie perceive it, is the media; and rightfully so. Watching the news these days, is as good as watching a daily soap. The only way most news channels understand is sensationalizing how Salman Khan takes a leak and not really addressing the core and more important issues at hand. Lastly it takes a royal dig at the existing political system in the country where politicians and bureaucrats would rather point fingers at each other or join hands with rival parties for their own personal gain or provide irrelevant support to people like giving a farmer who is struggling for his survival a Television and attempting to generate mileage out of it. I say 4 issues coz somewhere I believe Peepli Live is trying to push us into a specific direction of saying no the kind of crap that we are put through these days, either by the political system or the media. It seems to be an earnest plea to all of us to not just wait for a change but to be the change. Remains to be seen how many of us actually take the message forward into action.

As regards the quality of execution, it is indeed very good. The performances of all the actors are excellent. Casting is superb. The costumes even more. Direction is only aided by the fact that the cast is really good. But one cannot take away credit from Anusha Rizvi and Mohammed Farooqui even more so since this was their first movie. Music is also very well managed between Ram Sampat, Indian Ocean and Nageen Tanvir. No questions about the story line which deals with the 4 issues in an extremely humorous manner that leaves you feeling good and not upset or depressed. The peak point in the entire movie would be when Natha’s son comes to him and asks, “Baba, aap kab maroge”? Overall a 7 on 10 surely from my side.