Dishkiyaoon

What are the elements of a Gangster movie? Firstly you need a story that is convincing enough.  So Sanamjit Talwar, in his debut effort, picks the evergreen Gangsta City that never sleeps as his backdrop. Safe bet considering that it has been fodder for million others before him. In the city, he starts of with a game of Snakes and Ladders between Viki Kartoos (Harman Baweja) and Lakwa (Sunny Deol).

Jai Ho

What do you expect in a Salman Khan movie? If this question was asked of a focus group, one answer would always be a shirtless fight sequence and in the climax of Jai Ho, the audience was chanting, “Shirt Utaar! Shirt Utaar! Shirt Utaar!” and our hero gladly complies in a matter of a few seconds.  Totally awesome!!!

Race 2

All of you would know what to expect when you walk into a movie that has the tag of the Burmawalas associated with it.  One can expect a lot of colour.  By colour I mean every perceivable shade of every perceivable colour would be splashed all across the screen in primarily in the form of the outfits that some gorgeous specimens of humanity would be seen wearing.  In Race 2, the colour extends itself to the houses, the parties, the aircrafts, the scenery, the ruins and of course – the parachutes.

Mumbai Mirror

 OK it is time for honesty.  I was pissing in my pants before I walked into the hall that was screening Mumbai Mirror.  I mean, have you seen Sachiin Joshi and the way he is looking at you on the poster???? I dare you to look at him once again.  For the benefit of those who haven’t seen the poster, I have added it to the blog.  Take a look.  Go on.  It is scarier than Gabbar Singh.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Rush

I have immense respect for Emraan Hashmi and his choice of movies. When he is part of a Mahesh Bhatt venture, you can be rest assured that the quality of music will be brilliant, the movie will be just about average, there will be at least one hot woman in the movie and to top it up, there will be a few kissing scenes and a love making scene if you are lucky.

To get this recipe bang on right from the first time and then to repeat it time after time can be only classified as an art form. One which Hashmi has mastered over the years. Or has he? Lets start the process of picking apart Rush. But first a quick look at the story

We have Sam Grover (Hashmi), who is a successful crime reporter @ Pulse 365. He gets an opportunity to interview a contract killer Prince (Murli Sharma) who spills the beans on some killings he has been part of in the cent past. But things go awry when the cops start chasing Sam and the big bosses take offence to the coverage of the killing of a reputed socialite. Sam is asked to leave.

But waiting to pounce on the opportunity are Lisa (Neha Dhupia) and her boss Roger Khanna (Aditya Panscholi) who seduce Sam with a more than lucrative offer. Sam is to replace the recently murdered editor in chief of Crime 24 (owned by Roger). Despite sme doubts, Sam takes up the offer but soon starts smelling a few fish.

Rush is peppered with several inconsistencies throughout. Firstly, the entire operation of Crime 24 seems to be too easy to be believed. More importantly, no one actually understands how they are always first on the scene every single time. Then there is the ease with which Sam manages to get his girlfriend Ahana (Sagarika Ghatge) out of the clutches of kidnappers. All too much to be believed.

Unlike most Hashmi movies, the music is average at best and really badly timed. The dialogues are insipid and sometimes just downright low standard - Jo Adams risk nahin leta, USA future risky ho jaataa hai (one doesn't take risks has a risky future). What was the script writer thinking???? The only thing better this time owns the presence of 2 really hot women (not including the bikini clad Eurasian models). Hashmi gets lucky with both (grrrr)

Lesser said about newbie director Shamin Desai, the better it would be for his career. Hashmi and Dhupia do reasonably well in their roles but to too great. The rest of the cast is either non existent or just downright bad. No reason for the show to have been houseful @ PVR Goregaon. Don't waste your time on this one. 4 on 10.


Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oJkQEVWHl3A

Bodyguard

Eid Mubarak to one and all and much like previous times, the much awaited Eid release starring Salman Khan is out today. And I obviously had to ensure that I catch up with it at the earliest but this time around I had the misfortune of watching the movie in a really cramped PVR screen 4 at Ambience Mall Gurgaon. And that too from the 3rd row. Sorry about that Renu and thanks for patiently sitting through what turned out to be the least entertaining of the previous 3 Salman Khan flicks that released on Eid. There was a joke that has been doing its rounds over the past few days. 2009 – IPS Officer; 2010 – Inspector; 2011 – Bodyguard; 2012 – Chowkidaar?; 2013 – Chaprasi? Has Salman come to the end of his winning streak so to speak which started with Wanted that I would have easily rated as a 5 on 10 if not more. Dabangg was not a great movie from a perspective of quality of movie making but it was 100% entertainment to say the least. I had given it a 4 on 10 but also a 10 on 10 on pure entertainment value. Bodyguard sees Salman getting down to the abyss from a perspective of quality of movies over the past few years. One can only hope that the positive is – you can only get better from here. Only time will tell.

Bodyguard definitely gives the die hard Salman Khan fan and all the women in the house a lot to cheer about and drool over respectively. There are the magical Salman moments that can only be described as simply stunning & outstanding to say the least. The burst of water from a pipe that sprays itself with utmost force onto Salman’s torso forcing the buttons of his tight black uniform open – actually sending the buttons flying all over the place – and the shirt in itself is forced off those rippling muscles (at age 46 mind you) and onto to face of his villain who has to really put in some effort and goes by the name of Aditya Panscholi. An act that can be pulled off only by Salman and no one else (apologies to Rajani Saar but we are talking about Bollywood here). And then there is the most kick ass of all dialogues – Mujhpe Ek Ehsaan Karna… Ke mujhpe koi ehsaan na karna (Do me just one favour… that you don’t do me any favours). Just that the best Salman dialogue in this movie pales in comparison to – Ek baar mein commitment kar deta hoon toh mein apne aap ki bhi nahin suntan (once I have made a commitment then I don’t even listen to myself).

That there are a dime a dozen cheap dialogues thrown in by the ridiculously fat new comer Rajat Rawail who plays the role of Tsunami do nothing to add value to the movie is just one of the low points. These dialogues not only dilute the punch that Salman carries all the way through to the end. Performances from anyone else just don’t come upto the level that he has. Kareena will prove to be just well dressed eye candy to most people who are her fans but to those who aren’t fans like this writer it is just one painful scene after the other. The music by Himes bhai (Himmesh Reshammiya – with all the m’s in the world) is decent but not one of his better works. Overall, you will struggle through Bodyguard and will survive if you are a Salman fan. And of course Katrina looks heavenly in the 2 minutes that she comes on screen. 3 on 10 overall.

The trailer can be viewed on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoF4OJkWH3U

Dum Maro Dum

That Abhishek Bachchan will live in the shadow of Yuva for the rest of his life and continue to try and benchmark himself to that level is a foregone conculsion in any of his movies. But to his credit this time around, he does give you some glimpses of the intensity that he showed in his best performance to date. Hope Floats for all your fans of the Jr. B (count me out of that list for the time being). After Game I thought it was all over folks. It was definitely time to get the fat lady in.

What makes his performance look better than what it actually is the sheer presence of John Abraham’s ex who has this innate capability of making anyone look better on screen. If there was a plastic meter for performances on screen then Bipasha Basu would have scored 12 on 10. And then you also wonder what Rohan Sippy was thinking when he cast Aditya Panscholi. Definitely a case of the ex Mr. Zareena Wahab (whats with these exes?) having put in money into the production.

And then there is rest of the cast led by Tollywood hero Rana Daggubatti who manages to hold his own in his Bollywood debut. Pratiek (without the Babbar) is sincere, but as always seems to have tried really hard to make things look as real has he possibly can. The saving grace in the acting department is however the natural, ice cold performance from Govind Namdeo who comes out on tops once again.

Dum Maro Dum revolves around the elusive Michael Barbossa aka Vincent Vega aka Colin Coutinhon aka Tobby Follet who is the savior of the drug mafia in Goa. Whenever the narcotics business in Goa starts to take a beating, Barbossa or one of his avatars comes in to save business which is primarily led by Lorsa Biscuita (Aditya Panscholi). But Barbossa’s days are about to be numbered when the Home Minster Ponda (Bugs Bharagava) calls on ex-cop ACP Vishnu Kamat (Jr. B) to clean up the state. In his previous assignments related to narcotics, ACP Kamat was notorious for maximizing his personal wealth. But he loses it when his family dies in a car crash. Poetic justice because the drivers of the other car were high on drugs. He picks his own team – Rane (Govind Namdeo) and Mercy (Gulshan Devaiya) to help him. His first breakthrough happens when he manages to foil Lawrence Eduardo Gomes aka Lorry (Pratiek) who is forced to become a carrier to pay his fees for a US University. All poor Lorry wanted to do was to be with his girl, Tani (Anaitha Nair) who gets through to the same uni with a 100% scholarship. Lorry’s close friend Joaquim aka DJ Joki (Rana) tries to convince him to come clean and even manages to strike a deal with ACP Kamath but Lorry chickens out and Joki’s only chance to get back @ Biscuita goes abegging. You see Biscuita has stolen Joki’s girl i.e. Zoe (Bipasha Basu) in the same manner as Lorry manages to get himself into jail. All these characters try to solve the big mystery – Who is Barbossa???

Poorly written dialogues are the bane of DMD which could have been a much better movie than it turned out. Lines such as “Moscow ke DJ tyaon tyaon aur pussycats meow meow. Live FTV no censor” and “Barbossa ka pata chahiye. Baaki sab ke liye google hai” and “MC ya BC? Middle Class ya Business Class”. I mean what was Rohan Sippy thinking? He didn’t have Rajanikant to carry these lines off right? Pritam’s music continues to be heavily and now obviously “inspired” and inspid. Rohan Sippy still tries his best to keep the movie racy enough for you not to get bored. Would have expected better coz this one doesn’t come upto the previous mark he set with Bluff Master. The random use of Konkani words fall flat. As a good friend says, “That’s the magic of it all. You aren’t Goan till you are Goin man”. Overall a below average effort. 4 on 10 is my final verdict. Was tempted to give it a point more but nah. Not happening.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/screenplay/vi2560597273/