Tevar

Tevariffic is what the campaign building up to the movie said.  A nice play on words and a decent campaign leading up to a decent movie.  But barely there.  If there was any way to pay tribute to Bollywood to begin a fresh year, Tevar is exactly the way it should be.  Music, Masala, Action, Drama – almost everything that you could expect from B-town and all reasonably packaged.

Bullett Raja

Tigmanshu Dhulia is associated with hard hitting intense movies that have really solid dialogues and more importantly a really solid story.  Bullett Raja ticks most of the boxes but at the end of the day it is nothing we haven’t seen before.  The narration, the overall feel of the story, the performances and even the music had “seen that” written all over it from frame 1 (technically frame 1 + 10 mins coz I came in late) to finish.

Rabba Main Kya Karoon

There is a gentleman by the name of Amrit Sagar who is apparently a National Award winner for something to do with cinema in 1971.  I refuse to believe that he is the same person who has directed Rabba Main Kya Karoon.  There have been several gaffes at the National Awards for certain.  However, I am certain that the brains behind the awards could not have lost it to give anything to a director of Amrit’s caliber.

Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster Returns

The disappointing aspect about Bollywood is not the lack of talent.  I am quite certain that there are truck loads of people who are exceptionally but for some inexplicable reason, they land up making random commercial cinema which I am quite certain even they aren’t proud of.  Tigmanshu Dhulia definitely falls in this list of people.

Khiladi 786

Lets start by recounting the entire list.
1. Khiladi – 1992
2. Main Khiladi Tu Anari – 1994
3. Sabse Bada Khiladi – 1995
4. Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi – 1996
5. Mr. & Mrs. Khiladi – 1997
6. International Khiladi – 1999
7. Khiladi 420 – 2000
Am I missing something here? I thought there were more but could find only 7 as of now. It has been 20 years since the first one but there is none that has come remotely close to the excitement that was generated with the first in the franchise.

Lets cut from the gut wrenching excitement of a murder mystery (remember it was 1992 and Khiladi was a good movie then) to a slapstick comedy in which Akshay Kumar pretends to do a Rajnikanth. You know my sentiments when someone tries to ape the great man no knowing that the closest they can come to is be an ape!!! Put these 2 in perspective and you have a disaster in the making.

Lets view some classic examples of atrocious dialogues
1. Duniya mein teen cheez aise hai jo hoti hai lekin koi dekh nahin sakta – Bhooton ka sansaar, sachcha wala pyaar aur Bahattar Singh (AK) ki raftaar (there are 3 things that exist in the world but no one can see – The world of ghosts, true love and the speed of 72 Singh – yes his name is 72)
2. Jilla (District) Malkanpur, Gaon (village) Taasi, Sar par haath rab ka (God’s hand on my head) aur haath pe Saat Sau Chhiyaasi (number 786 – god’s number – on my hands)
3. Bachpan se chhod ta aa raha hoon. Bag lekar school gaya toh master ne kaha School chhod doh. Bat Ball leke cricket khelne gaya toh doston ne kaha cricket chhod doh. Scooter leke ghar se nikla toh padosi ne kaha Malad chhod doh (I will not even bother to translate that one)

At the end of it all, K786 lands up being a cheap imitation of Dabanng and the great man. AK – please remember the next time. There was, is and can be only one Chulbul Pandey and that rule doesn’t change even remotely for Rajnikanth. So respect that space and create one of your one.

The only saving grace – believe it or not – is Himes Bhai’s moosik and his acting (pretty decent). How Mithun Da finds accepts such cheesy roles is beyond me. I can understand that about the rest of the cast especially Shri Raj Babbar. But you are Mithun Da. Why? Why?? Why???

Watch this one if you are a fan of extreme slapstick and AK. Because if you are not, then you may find it difficult to survive. 3 on 10

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHdtpTrrxuo

Force

This is the 2nd movie involving Nishikant Kamat that I have seen this year. The first one was 404 as an actor where he was quite solid. But Nishikant Kamat the director has probably not translated his acting talent or for that matter his directorial talent - from his the Marathi Cinema repertoire (I hear Deool is really good and will be watching it soon) into Force. The direction is sincere no doubt but I would rate it as average at best. Not impactful in any manner. Plus the lack of emphasis on consistency just keeps getting to me. Do Indian directors really believe that the population is naïve enough not to catch up with some of them – maybe they are true but I guess that’s what differentiates the great ones from the good ones. So if Nishikant Kamat wants to be a great director the I guess he has to start paying attention to the finer details.

Now I agree that one can probably do only this much with a chatterbox who speaks through her teeth and thrives on saying, “ACP Sir” all the time so much that you forget that the ACP is actually called Yashwardhan (John Abraham). After a point of time Maya (Genelia D’Souza) starts sounding like the chalk scratching the black board which makes the kids cringe and clamp their ears shut. Not that the hunk of meat is far superior. But at least he isn’t a put on. I have always believed that John Abraham is one of the most sincere actors in Indian cinema. That he will stick to commercial cinema that may require him to take his shirt off (he gets paid for it unlike Sallu Bhai who does it gratis) is not a surprise. And then there is the supporting cast of a constipated Raj Babbar, a mature looking Mohnish Bahl, a less irritating Sandhya Mridul, A young Shashank Shende, a crass and unpolished Kamlesh Sawant and an insignificant Anaitha Nair (please please start finding more meaty roles – I would love to see you on screen more often. I think you have looks and talent. Why waste it )

A typical formula movie of a lead good looking inspector, a young upstart who will get killed, An older mature officer in the team and a crass hot blooded honest cop to complete the quartet. Sincerely made for certain. Could have been better. Has generated enough interest in me to look for the Tamil DVD. But not a bad way to spend a Saturday or Sunday afternoon and its playing on TV. Not required to watch on the big screen at all. It’s a little weird but I just noticed that this was a remake of a Tamil movie by a Marathi director in Hindi – anyone knows if other such combinations exist? Never Mind my “google swamy” avatar speaking. 5 on 10 to Force

Trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0MpB95_ArXA

Bodyguard

Eid Mubarak to one and all and much like previous times, the much awaited Eid release starring Salman Khan is out today. And I obviously had to ensure that I catch up with it at the earliest but this time around I had the misfortune of watching the movie in a really cramped PVR screen 4 at Ambience Mall Gurgaon. And that too from the 3rd row. Sorry about that Renu and thanks for patiently sitting through what turned out to be the least entertaining of the previous 3 Salman Khan flicks that released on Eid. There was a joke that has been doing its rounds over the past few days. 2009 – IPS Officer; 2010 – Inspector; 2011 – Bodyguard; 2012 – Chowkidaar?; 2013 – Chaprasi? Has Salman come to the end of his winning streak so to speak which started with Wanted that I would have easily rated as a 5 on 10 if not more. Dabangg was not a great movie from a perspective of quality of movie making but it was 100% entertainment to say the least. I had given it a 4 on 10 but also a 10 on 10 on pure entertainment value. Bodyguard sees Salman getting down to the abyss from a perspective of quality of movies over the past few years. One can only hope that the positive is – you can only get better from here. Only time will tell.

Bodyguard definitely gives the die hard Salman Khan fan and all the women in the house a lot to cheer about and drool over respectively. There are the magical Salman moments that can only be described as simply stunning & outstanding to say the least. The burst of water from a pipe that sprays itself with utmost force onto Salman’s torso forcing the buttons of his tight black uniform open – actually sending the buttons flying all over the place – and the shirt in itself is forced off those rippling muscles (at age 46 mind you) and onto to face of his villain who has to really put in some effort and goes by the name of Aditya Panscholi. An act that can be pulled off only by Salman and no one else (apologies to Rajani Saar but we are talking about Bollywood here). And then there is the most kick ass of all dialogues – Mujhpe Ek Ehsaan Karna… Ke mujhpe koi ehsaan na karna (Do me just one favour… that you don’t do me any favours). Just that the best Salman dialogue in this movie pales in comparison to – Ek baar mein commitment kar deta hoon toh mein apne aap ki bhi nahin suntan (once I have made a commitment then I don’t even listen to myself).

That there are a dime a dozen cheap dialogues thrown in by the ridiculously fat new comer Rajat Rawail who plays the role of Tsunami do nothing to add value to the movie is just one of the low points. These dialogues not only dilute the punch that Salman carries all the way through to the end. Performances from anyone else just don’t come upto the level that he has. Kareena will prove to be just well dressed eye candy to most people who are her fans but to those who aren’t fans like this writer it is just one painful scene after the other. The music by Himes bhai (Himmesh Reshammiya – with all the m’s in the world) is decent but not one of his better works. Overall, you will struggle through Bodyguard and will survive if you are a Salman fan. And of course Katrina looks heavenly in the 2 minutes that she comes on screen. 3 on 10 overall.

The trailer can be viewed on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GoF4OJkWH3U