Tees Maar Khan

I have always been a Farah Khan fan.  I loved Main Hoon Na and Om Shanti Om.  The latter in fact is still one of my all time favourites – strictly from a perspective of providing wholesome entertainment. What I like about Farah is that she doesn’t make any bones about each one of her movies being “different”. She is quite cut and dry. So, when Tees Maar Khan was announced a while back, I was quite excited despite the controversy that surrounded it.  Most pundits challenged the mother of triplets when she decided to go ahead with Akshay instead of Shah Rukh as the lead for her latest venture.  In hind sight, which is a virtue all of us have, Shah Rukh probably could not have pulled of the role.  It demanded someone with a better sense of comic timing and therefore clearly cut out for someone like Akshay Kumar.  However, Mrs. Kunder would now have realized the importance of a good luck charm. TMK flatters to deceive.  A disappointment spread over a little more than 2 hours.

Tabrez Mirza a.k.a. Tees Maar Khan (Akshay Kumar) started very early in his life as a con artiste.  His mother (Apara Mehta) would watch age old Chor Police (Cops and Robbers) movies that would invariably have the Chor (Robber) in the lead role.  In a manner of speaking, Tabrez was – Well Inducted.  And he starts off by pinching the docs watch and nurse’s chain as soon as he pops out. And no points for guessing that he eventually grows up to reach the “Most Wanted” list not only @ home but also by large organizations such as the Interpol. He has been caught 11 times to date and has escaped 24 times – don’t ask me how the math works here – and before the end of the movie also manages to escape two more times. As he proudly proclaims, “Tawaif ki Lut ti hui izzat ko bachana aur TMK ko Qaid karna – dono hi bekaar hai” (It’s a waste of time to save a harlot’s honour or to imprison TMK).

The world famous Johri Brothers (Raghu Ram) are a pair of identical conjoint twins who are leaders in their own field of work – Smuggling of Antiques.  They have just been relieved of 10000 kgs of Antiques worth Rs.500 crores (Rs.5 billion / $110 million).  The cops have not been able to capture them and are therefore convinced that they would attempt to get back what they believe is rightfully theirs. However, there are only 3 people in the world who can pull of a stunt of stealing that amount of valuables from a moving train.  2 of them are safely behind bars.  The third is obviously our hero.

Farah Khan tries to stick to what she is good at.  A movie that is primarily a comedy peppered with action sequences that are sufficient to keep people excited.  However, this time she kind of comes a cropper post the declaration of, “Is mission mein hum kamyaab honge ya nahin dekhenge after Intermission” (We will see if we are going to succeed in our mission after the Intermission).  Kind of corny and seems forced.  Things build up quite well in the first half and then somewhere the movie loses steam and becomes kind of repetitive.  Maybe it was time for her to actually do something “different”. Just when one thinks that Akshay Kumar is making a comeback he peters of like a deflated balloon back to where he has been over the past 2 years. Forced effort and complete lack of comic timing.  Much better in parts but overall no improvement whatsoever.  TMKs sidekicks are played by Vijay Maurya, Dharampal and Ashish Asgar who seem to have better comic timing that AK. 

And they definitely have much more screen presence than Katrina Kaif who is totally stunning furniture with barely any role to write home about. The only saving grace for her is the absolutely amazing, “Sheela Ki Jawani” (Sheila’s Killer Youth as the subtitles in the Aussie version proclaimed – I definitely have an opportunity to be a subtitler coz they were absolutely atrocious in parts and extremely funny).  The music is very good – a combination of songs by Vishal Shekhar and background by the husband Kunder.  The choreography is also extremely well done.  Full points for Farah Khan there for making Kats dance like the way she has.  Someone finally taught her some serious jhatkas!!! Overall, a decent entertainer for the family on Christmas weekend.  But don’t go with too much of hope.  I give it 4 on 10 in the festive spirit and my liking for Farah Khan as a director.  Watch at own risk.

Jhootha Hi Sahi

Siddharth (Sid) runs a book store called Kagaz Ke Phool in London along with his partners – Omar (Raghu Ram) and Amit (Omar Khan). He is in a relationship with Krutika (Manasi Scott) – an air hostess. Omar lives next door to Sid with his extremely pregnant sister Aliya (Alishka Varde). Aliya is in a relationship with Nick (George Young) who is, I can only assume, a 2nd generation Japanese dude because he doesn’t show any signs of being Jap. Looks fairly European to me. But yes, he definitely has a Jap surname. Nick is apparently madly in love with Aliya and doesn’t stop short of proposing to her almost every single day – he would do it every hour if he could.


Now Sid is not really in love with Kruttika. And the rest of the gang is not really hot about her either. Omar keeps asking Sid when he is going to break up with her but Sid is in denial. Sid stammers when he is in front of beautiful women and he believes he is in love with her because he doesn’t stammer with her – and just in case your devious mind thinks that she is not beautiful – Mansi Scott is gorgeous to say the least (drool drool). Nevertheless, all of this takes a twist of fate when “Dost Help Line”- a suicide helpline for Indians in London, prints Sid’s residence number instead of their number. Sid is inundated with calls through the night. When the helpline realizes their mistake, the representative (Nandana Sen) requests Sid to keep help by taking calls and giving the actual number – a person who is about to kill oneself is definitely prepared with a pen and paper to take down a new number.

Sid is not pleased but offers to help since it is a matter of life and death. As luck would have it, that very night he receives a call from someone who is not willing to speak at all. So Sid is left holding the line through the nite – which he does painstakingly through a few coffees and large doses of National Geographic. The next morning, the caller – who has by then slept off, introduces herself as Mishka (Pakhi) and goes on to give her entire sob story of how her mother committed suicide and how her boyfriend Kabir has left her etc. etc. Now Sid, to keep her pepped up gives a whole lot of bull shit about how he has climbed Mt. Everest and worked for NASA and that life has loads to look forward to and it is not worth ending. Slowly a friendship develops between Fidatoh (that’s what Mishka calls Sid over the phone coz she doesn’t know he is Sid). Inadvertently, Fidatoh tells her about a book that is available only in one book store in London i.e. Kagaz Ke Phool. Now Sid meets Mishka and the complicated balancing of life between Sid and Fidatoh begins.

Most of the male cast tends to go overboard on the acting front. The entire female cast is quite balanced. Pleasantly surprised with Pakhi who has also written the movie it would seem. I wonder what the confusion with Friends is all about. Cant remember any episode of friends that goes this way – but then I am not a huge Friends fan anyways. Abbas Tyrewala had only one directorial venture before this which was a huge success – Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na. This one will not be as huge but is quite decent. Humour is a bit forced in part but good overall. Entertaining movie I say – 6 on 10.