Hindi Medium (2017) (Hindi)

A good cast and a good plot / storyline doesn’t necessarily make a good movie.  No other movie in recent times can come close to this adage as much as HINDI MEDIUM.  The movie has Irrfan Khan in it and therefore it must be good. Keep in mind that Irrfan also have non-movies such as Jazbaa, Thank You and Acid Factory amongst others to his credit.  He is human.  He makes mistakes.

Haider

There could be many of you out there who haven’t read what is probably William Shakespeare’s most popular tragedy – Hamlet.  It was the bard’s longest play and has been the subject of many a movie. For those unaware of the story, you MUST read this section before you walk into watch Haider http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamlet#Plot.

The Xpose

Words fail me when I try to express my sentiments on 2 supremely contrasting examples of cinema that will make their mark on the nation today. 16th May 2014 will definitely go down in the annals of Indian History as a red letter day - and I'm not referring to the more than obvious result in the General Elections 2014. It will be remembered forever as the day a man from Gujarat took on a monster from across the seven seas.

Gunday

I was in a conversation with a good friend last night and she asked me what I thought about Gunday.  My reply to her was, “It seems like an overly done up movie with more emphasis on looking good and creating hype than focusing on quality cinema”.  Her reply to me was to go in without a bias.  I did exactly that.  But at the end of the day, my expectation was met.

Qissa - The Tale of a Lonely Ghost

Of 17 movies that I saw at the Mumbai International Film Festival this was the first.  Anup Singh is a Tanzanian Indian director (if it registered correctly in the Q&A after the movie) who has taken forever (the better part of the previous decade) to make this movie that centres itself around yet another unique topic.  I have gathered after my first experience at a Film Festival that the stories / concepts are just out of the world.  In many cases – just like with Qissa, the execution adds to the magic of cinema.

Dabba (The Lunchbox)

Some of the most difficult reviews to write are the ones where you have just seen a movie that is so good that you cannot come to terms with its perfection.  So you get caught in the vicious trap of being on a witch hunt.  That my friends, is exactly what I got drawn into with Dabba aka The Lunch Box (for international audiences).

D-Day (Hindi) (2013)

Nikhil Advani’s rap sheet in Bollywood is not the most attractive to begin with.  Salaam E Ishq was too long, Chandni Chowk to China was horrible, Delhi Safari was an animation disaster.  He was tolerable in Patiala House.  But with D-Day he seems to have learnt the fine art of Bollywood cinema – doesn’t say too much about him though. Because it is still B Town.  Not H Town.

Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster Returns

The disappointing aspect about Bollywood is not the lack of talent.  I am quite certain that there are truck loads of people who are exceptionally but for some inexplicable reason, they land up making random commercial cinema which I am quite certain even they aren’t proud of.  Tigmanshu Dhulia definitely falls in this list of people.

Life of Pi

Always a good idea to read the book before you see a movie. Especially if it is a well known adaptation. I read very little of Life of Pi (honestly due to my own sloth) since the night before. So I have no clue to if David Magee (Finding Neverland) has cut a few important parts from the final rendition of Yann Martel’s best seller. But from what I hear, the ones that were required were retained. And retained well at that.

Ang Lee has always been one to pick movies that are painstakingly painted. At the expense of being horribly slow. Life of Pi is actually fast as compared to most of his previous ventures – almost like Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (both in terms of pace as well as special effects).

Life of Pi has its stunning moments which can come to life only on the big screen. The flying fish in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, the bright Jelly Fish in the middle of the night with the Blue Whale deciding to rocket through, the carnivorous island that turns neon green at night or the scenes of Richard Parker roaring to define his territory like a Royal Bengal Tiger would. While I saw it in 2D in a random theatre in Goa, I am quite certain, the 3D version would be brilliant.

But all of this comes at the expense of a lot of factors. To begin with, there is very little acting on display. The entire cast except Suraj Sharma has very little time on screen. Irrfan Khan, Rafe Spall, Tabu, Adil Hussain and Gerard Depardieu are all fantastic actors to say the least but all of them put together have lesser screen time than Suraj Sharma. But Suraj Sharma has done brilliantly well to say the least.

There are also startling consistency errors that one would not expect from Ang Lee. Starting from how in the blazes does Richard Parker, manage to get the goat through the bars of its cage? Or how is there absolutely still water in the middle of the Pacific? Or how Pi (Suraj Sharma) can speak English without an accent and Pi (Irrfan Khan) suddenly develops one.

I would have also liked it if Ang Lee had stuck to Tamil with the entire Indian cast instead of pushing the screenplay in English. It would have turned out to be far more believable and distracted the audience from some of the obvious errors. I personally liked Life of Pi because of its stunning effects and so am giving it 7 on 10. Definitely watch over the weekend and decide for yourself.

Watch the trailer at http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2646320921/

The Amazing Spider Man

Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield) is back. One can choose to go “What the hell???? Don’t these guys get enough of making the same movie again and again and again and then when you think its all done they get one more just for posterity”. One can also choose to go, “Wow!!! Lets see what Spiderman is upto this time around”. Fortunately, I fall in the latter category and went to the screen expecting a good show. The good news – I was not disappointed. The not so good news – I wasn’t half as excited when I exited the movie as I was when I left the hall after say, The Avengers.

A better part of the movie goes through the same old rigmarole of how Peter Parker allows curiosity to get the better of him only to get bitten by a mutant spider of some kind and then turns into Spiderman. The difference however – in each one of the movies – is how he lands up being Spiderman. This time around it is by one which is being used to test gene therapy of some kind which will allow human beings to lose all of their weaknesses.

Leading the project is Dr. Curt Connors (Rhys Ifans – remember the nerdy character who doesn’t have a bath and is Hugh Grant’s room mate in Notting Hill – I couldn’t believe it either) who used to be Peter’s old man’s best mate. Richard Parker (Campbell Scott) suddenly disappeared under circumstances that can best be described as mysterious. Doc stops keeping in touch with the Parkers. Period. Uncle Ben (Martin Sheen) and Aunt May (Sally Field) both find this quite weird but have done nothing to reach out to Connors either. Connors is now heading research @ Oscorp and is charged with the responsibility of keeping Osborne alive – a job that Rajit Ratha (Irrfan Khan) knows how to do.

The Amazing Spiderman – thankfully doesn’t not stop in its differences with the name. It goes onto give a different story and therefore can keep the audiences engaged if they have seen the trilogy that preceded it. If they haven’t then this is one will be a good entertainer. The 3D effects are far superior to any of the previous ones. And Marc Webb – who has only one full length feature to his credit prior to this one – comes up with the goods for sure.

It’s a super hero movie so don’t look for acting as such but the performances are definitely above the expected level. The disappointing part for us Indians is that we would have expected our own Irrfan Chacha to have a meatier role. His screen time is restricted to about 2 minutes and 38.91 seconds. I give the movie 7 on 10 and I guess you will enjoy it. But honestly – not as good as the previous ones.

Watch the movie on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dBfk0MqD67s

Paan Singh Tomar

One can be quite certain that if Irrfan Khan has picked up a movie to be part of, it will be a good enough for at least a one time watch. And the world is going all ra ra about Paan Singh Tomar. So much so that I seem to be the last person in the world to watch it. Surprising right? Not when u have had a jam packed weekend with commitments to conduct quizzes in front of a massive 25 teams (notice the sarcasm). Bad call. Will be more astute in my calls in the future. Quite certainly, it has cost me at least 100 odd hits to this blog.

Tigmanshu Dhulia is usually a dependable director. But despite the rave reviews, I was a bit cautious approaching PST because of my previous experience with Saheb Biwi Aur Gangster – a movie that I thought had so much more than what it eventually delivered. But somewhere deep down, as I went into the hall to watch PST, I was hoping that I would use the words “Scorcher of a movie” when I write this blog later in the day. I wasn’t totally wrong. I wasn’t totally right either.

Lets talk about the good things first. It was firstly heartening to watch a movie that was centred around an athlete for a change. Probably because it makes it easier? I am not sure. But then I am glad. Also, as mentioned towards the end, it is dedicated to the unsung heroes of Indian Sport. Paan Singh was one such hero. 7 times national champion in the steeplechase – the toughest race on track. Winner @ International events. Forced to take a gun in his hand due to circumstances – genuine ones. Not whining ones. So – a good story line. Well narrated. Some great camera angles too.

The icing on the cake would have been the great performances. Primarily Irrfan who single handedly carries the movie all the way. Ably supported from 2-3 corners. Mahie Gill surprisingly under stated and good execution this time as Indira – Paan’s wife. Brijendra Kala & Zakir Hussain also doing extremely well to keep the movie @ acceptable standards.

What ticked me off though is that where on one hand, Tigmanshu Dhulia pays so much attention to detail, on the other hand, there are horrible consistency errors. Like the pain taken to put up a Rs.10 note from 1980 was very commendable. That it was a cheap print out was way too obvious. The camera work during the ice cream run was quite brilliant. That Paan Singh reaches major saab’s house with a shirt that seems recently pressed is just juvenile!!!

But I guess these gaffes are noticed only by the pathetic, heartless, stone cold, amateur critics like this author. But it still gives me the right to be disappointed with what I though could have finally been Tigmanshu Dhulia’s moment of truth. Where he breaks into the league of an Anurag Kashyap or a Vishal Bharadwaj. Not to be. 7 on 10 of which half the points come from Irrfan. As good as Kahaani – actually, Kahaani is probably better albeit marginally.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=enwaoPOO0Ik

Thank You

He should probably thank his stars that he has a reasonable fan following in this country – enough and more morons who will walk into an AK movie just because its an AK movie. But that’s what we do to stars. Glorify them. Make temples for them. But even the extreme madness that this country has for Bollywood will not be able to save AK this time around. His acting talent or screen presence or whatever you want to call it has definitely reached it’s Nadir. AK – you cannot get worse than this. If you look at it positively, anywhere you go to from here will only be better. Or touch base quickly with Mannapuram Gold Loan – I am sure they will extend your contract for another year or so. I am quite certain that Akshay Kumar’s career with a major cinema house has ended successfully. For any future releases, he will have to trust his own funds or maybe depend on some rich relatives. Maybe Thank You was a test run – partially produced by Twinkle Khanna as per credits.

Thank You is a movie made in extreme bad taste. It once again endorses the concept of a cheating husband and in fact goes one step further by glorifying him. But then again, I guess there are enough and more women in this world who do not mind going back to husbands who have cheated on them. So why not capitalize on the movement (in a manner of speaking). The characters of… or should I say characterless – Raj (Bobby Deol), Yogi (Suniel Shetty) and Vikram (Irrfan Khan) run a business of selling yachts. And if one can describe the word “Tharki” (sex maniac), they would be the ideal examples. The epitomes. Raj’s wife Sanjana (Sonam Kapoor) believes in blind faith and obviously the husband takes as much advantage of that as possible. The other two are married to Maya (Celina Jaitley) and Shivani (Rimi Sen). Maya has already caught Yogi cheating on her and is getting back at him by treating him like a slave – which doesn’t seem to matter much to Yogi as such. And Vikram dominates Shivani as if there is no tomorrow. Things are about to get nasty for the promiscuous trio though thanks to the entry of Kishan (Akshay Kumar) who was responsible for Yogi getting caught.

If you liked the senselessness of the likes of No Entry and No Problem which seem to be reflective of Anees Bazmee’s favourite topic – cheating husbands – then Thank You is exactly the kind of movie that you would like to watch. If you are the more sensible kinds who believes in the concept of true cinema then please do not waste your money on this work that doesn’t have any semblance of direction, acting, screenplay, cinematography, editing and any of the other departments that are required to make a movie. The only one that continues to be worse than this is that sob story that spent a decade in a canister called Milenge Milenge. Thank You comes really close to being a case study at any Film Institute about what a movie should not be. I do wonder what people like Irrfan Khan were doing in this movie. And was definitely disappointed at how Sonam Kapoor crash landed from a curve that was showing signs of going North. As of now her stock has gone south. Maybe she should put the A back in her name. It may just about help. The rest of the cast has anyways not been worth mentioning and will not be. The miracle of course was the Rimi Sen did not speak in Bengali in this movie. The 1 additional point in the score for the movie comes for that and the fact that there are a couple of tracks that are definitely going to be doing their rounds in discos across the country. 2 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi226729241/

Saat Khoon Maaf

We have all grown up with Ruskin Bond and his writing in a variety of genres. But who would have thought that we would actually land up watching one of his more intense but yet casually written short stories make it to the big screen. Trust Vishal Bharadwaj to take up four pages of scribbled lines and chase one of the best Indian authors of our time to convert it into a 150 minute screenplay. And not just that, he has also managed to convince him to appear on screen in a 30 second cameo. The story titled Susanna’s Seven Husbands is now set to be permanently etched in our memories.

A single legged, hot tempered Keerti Chakra winning Major from the Indian Army who is as possessive about his wife as our friends across the border are about the blasphemy law is Susanna Anna-Marie Johannes’ (Priyanka Chopra) first husband – Edwin Rodrigues (Niel Nitin Mukesh). He is followed by a drug addict who plagiarizes songs from his college band called Jamshed Singh Rathod aka Jimmy Stetson aka Jim. A closeted sadomasochistic poet Wasiullah Khan (Irrfan Khan), A Russian Spy with a wife and kids in Russia – Nikolai Vronsky (Aleksandr Dyachenko) and an Inspector who grows into being a senior intelligence officer Keemat Lal (Annu Kapoor) are the next 3. Bringing up the rear is a Bengali medicine man Dr. Madhusoodhan Tarafdaar (Naseeruddin Shah) who has severe financial problems. Did I count seven?

What works for SKM is the fact that Vishal Bharadwaj can make anyone act. Niel Nitin Mukesh has been given a fresh lease of life but I have my doubts on him being able to sustain it for a longer period. John Abraham is impressive despite his best efforts not be. And Aleksandr Dyachenko in his first outing is equally good despite dialogues such as “Mein Tum Se Amar Prem karta hoon” and “Mere Paas Maa Hai”. Corny but well executed. Naseeruddin Shah, Irrfan Khan and Annu Kapoor are anyways amongst the finest actors that this country has seen. Priyanka exceeds herself yet again. Usha Uthup as Susanna’s nanny Maggie, leads the support cast with a fabulous performance as her partner in crime. The music is atypical Vishal Bharadwaj and very clearly seems to be made specifically with SKM in mind. The Dialogues are sharp and to the point. Narration is solid and the movie needed the time that was given to it. The use of light is superb in some scenes. Lovely editing. Nothing seems out of place.

So why then would I give a movie narrated in third person by Arun Kumar (Vivaan Shah) as a story to his wife Nandini (Konkona Sen Sharma) only 7 on 10. Well the surprisingly bad sound editing (at least in the print playing in PVR Mulund) kept aside I am unable to decide if I thought the movie was too perfect or had an X factor missing in it. That Vishal Bharadwaj gives a lot of credit to his audience’s intelligence could also have been a reason why I probably walked out of the hall feeling a tad incomplete. Somehow I am quite sure that this isn’t VBs best work to date. Omkara continues to be on top. Movie of the year so far though. Watch it.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLT-Nt-e_Vk

Yeh Saali Zindagi

It beats me. It beats me completely. Does the use of profanity through a movie make it spunky enough? The likes of a Good Fellas – which coincidentally holds some kind of a world record for the maximum number of explitives in a movie – doesn’t become a great movie because of the profanities. It has a lot to do with the other aspects of the movie such as direction and acting to begin with. And it would be fair to assume that someone like Sudhir Mishra who has given us the likes of Is Raat Ki Subah Nahin and Hazaaron Khwaishen Aisi would know better than that right. Surely an amateur critic like this one doesn’t need to point out these basics to the immensely talented director. But this amateur critic continues to see enough and more articles in the tabloids (cannot call them newspapers) that scream out from the front pages that likes of Yeh Saali Zindagi and No One Killed Jessica are creating waves with the audiences coz they are spunky movies. Does anyone pay any attention to consistency these days? Sudhir Mishra would definitely be embarrassed to see the end result of his latest so called potboiler. To point out something very basic, Priti (Chitrangadha Singh) calls Arun (Irrfan Khan) from a Bombay Vodafone number and not a Delhi number. Considering they have been in Delhi for a while and that Mobile Number Portability is not equal to circle portability as of now or when the movie was made, surely someone should have given some thought to that.


Arun is a CA par excellence who is required to keep Mehta’s (Saurabh Shukla) books in order. When Mehta cheats him of his share of the adjustments he stops working for him much to Mehta’s disgust. Mehta almost kills him but Arun refuses to join back. In the heat of the moment, Arun also decides to ask Priti to marry him. Arun had met Priti a while back when he was recovering money for Mehta from a borrower. He was instantly taken in by her but for some reason has never voiced what he feels for her to date. He now finds himself in a situation where he walks into a restaurant to see Priti coochy cooing with Shyam Singhania (Vipul Gupta) although Shyam is about to get married to Anjali who is the daughter of the Home Minster Verma. Now Verma is responsible for getting the local don, Bade (Yashpal Sharma) into jail. Bade is taken care of @ Tihar Jail by the local inspector Satbeer (Sushant Singh). He also has a soft corner for Kuldeep (Arunoday Singh) who wants to get out of the illegal business and go straight. He hasn’t been spending quality time with his wife Shanti (Aditi Rao Hydari) who is anything but peaceful about it. Completing this Egg Bhurji is Chhote (Prashant Narayanan) who is Bade’s transvestite younger brother and wants to eliminate Bade at the earliest and get his hands on all the money lying in various international bank accounts.

As mentioned earlier, Sudhir Mishra has tried to sprinkle this melee with several profanities and slang words which can be associated with Delhi but falls significantly short on the basic attributes of direction and acting. Chitrangadha Singh hasn’t acted in her life since Hazaaron Khwaishen Aisi (Maybe even there she had very little screen time to probably notice). No idea what the big deal is about Arunoday Singh and Aditi Rao Hydari. They are decent but nothing as great as the tabloids seem to be calling out. YSZ saves a lot of face thanks to the immense talent of Irrfan Khan, Saurabh Shukla, Yashpal Sharma, Sushant Singh (very under rated) and Prashant Narayanan who come up with sterling performances in their respective roles. Average music and bad editing round up this mish mashed movie which could have been made so much better. 5 on 10 at best.

Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jXuLeso_jbg