Saturday 7 January 2012

Players

When the director duo – as they so proudly proclaim in the titling of the movie – Abbas Mustan come together, then you can expect some really mindless action coming your way for certain. But in the past few movies, they have shown that they can execute the mindlessness with some class and finesse for sure. Race for instance, had a twist within a twist within a twist and pretty soon you were twistier than the Dominoes Twisty Garlic Bread. But much like the Dominoes Twisty Garlic Bread, you went out of the theatre feeling quite good about the manner in which you spent your past 2.5 hours. It would have felt quite similar when you saw, 36 China Town as well. One would have walked out saying – not bad yaar. Decent. Theekh hai. But I think the run of average luck that these two had over the past few years has finally run out on them in a manner of speaking.
And mind you, I am not complaining about the corny dialogues in the movie. Say when the hottest chick in the movie who goes by the name of Shyla or something, in a skimpy swimsuit throws herself @ Charlie Mascarenhas (Abhishekh Bachchan) who keeps his interest limited to a book that she was supposed to deliver. Shyla goes, “Yahaan poori library padi hui hai aur yeh ek book ke peechhe pada hai” (Theres a complete library available for the taking and the moron is interested only in one book). Such corny dialogues are definitely expected in an Abbas Mustan movie. And I am not talking about how there is a disco in St. Petersburg or Moscow or wherever called “House of Rasputin”… er…Abbas Mustan… maaf hai. And I am not talking about the aspect of a random Indian babe (to the Russians I mean. To us she is known as Bipasha Basu OR of late – a random Indian babe) walks in to con a Lt. General of the Russian Army and waltzes in without any security issues and also manages to sing a raunchy Hindi number along the way. Or that 4 Indians almost drown in the frigid waters of Russia and land up comfortably sitting on the ice with little or no fear of hypothermia. All that is completely acceptable and expected of Abbas Mustan.

But what is not acceptable is the really bad finishing. For once, the action sequences seem badly executed. From the first scene of Jr. B stealing a diamond necklace to the really badly finished gold heist sequence from the newer Italian Job (which starred Mark Wahlberg), there was nothing which had the true Abbas Mustan Stamp on it. For a change – and a bad change at that – the pair has given too much emphasis on the insignificant stuff such as the complicated search for Spider which pans all continents with the exception of Antarctica. There are some random charitable reasons such as an orphanage in Shimla or a paraplegic daughter of one of the “Players” – Ronnie (Bobby Deol). Yaar Abbas Bhai – Mustan Bhai – what is this yaar. Non stop action with no sense is your forte. What is this social messaging etc. doing in your mlovie. Players seemed a little to arty for your taste.

And yes, the next time anyone casts Sonam Kapoor, please don’t give her leopard skin leotards and make up that attempts to make her look like Lisbeth Salander (Girl with the dragon tattoo) – she never could, isn’t and cannot come anywhere close. Also, acting school desperately required. Papa is going places but kiddo is going to stay rooted here if there are no drastic changes.

A best possible score of 3 on 10 for this really bad copy of the Italian Job (2003). Watch the trailer at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WgPQ7_xsm3o

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