Yaariyan

Famous Last Words – “The toughest job in the world is being a mother.  One of the most difficult things to do is directing a movie.  I did both together” – Divya Khosla Kumar, Director, Yaariyan (read “Probably the worst movie of 2014).

Mrs. Khosla Kumar – you are wrong.  Because with Yaariyan, you have found a something to do that is more difficult that directing a movie (Thankfully motherhood is untouched and remains the toughest job in the world).  It would be watching movies made by inept, incompetent, full of oneself movie makers (Read Yaariyan).

I hate to get personal and usually am more kind to people in the fraternity and would give them a 1 on 10 at least.  Even the likes of Grand Masti was at least true to what is said it would be – we are a soft porn sex comedy – and the audiences got exactly that.

With Yaariyan, Divya Khosla Kumar w/o Bhushan Kumar of T Series fame has done nothing but taken the audiences for granted.  She, along with the makers, have repeatedly stated that this is a, “contemporary young movie that takes the audience through the trials and tribulations of young life”.  What they meant was – it is soft pornography.

Lets take a look at the story or the overall premise.  A young boy Lakshya (Himansh Kohli) moves to college in Sikkim after his best friend moves to Australia.  His aim in life now is to get kissed.  He spends most of his time messing up opportunities with Jenny (Serah Singh) who is competing with Jiya (Nicole Faria) for the skimpiest dressed 18 year old (yeah right!!!) in college.

In the first 20 minutes one would have seen more cleavage and focus on bouncing assets that all of Grand Masti and Masti put together.  The trend doesn’t change for the rest of the movie.  That the director is a first timer is obvious from the fact that every time there is cleavage or something skimpy, you hear a pornographic moan in the background.

The movie then gets into an unbelievable story of an Australian company buying out part of the college land and to save the land, a bunch of 5 no good college students including Lakshya have to compete with 5 Aussies over 5 events – A Rock Show, A Chess Game, A Bike Race, A Cycle Race and A Cross Country run. In between all of this, there are 2 teachers wearing sarees that dont drape one breast.  I am not kidding you people!!!!

Around this time you are left wondering, “Are we watching Yaariyan or Student of The Year or Jo Jeeta Wohi Sikandar or Grand Masti or 127 Hours or Cliff Hanger or Main Hoon Na or”…. Never mind.  It is just that - a confused pile of left over goulash from 4 weeks back.

Himansh Kohli, Rakul Preet, Nicole Faria, Shreyas Pardiwalla, Serah Singh and Dev Sharma have proven beyond doubt that they cannot act to save their life and that they were paid nothing for the movie.  Evelyn Sharma has been, is and now will be only a side actress preceded by the term “seedy”.

And why is Bollywood hell bent on making their audiences lose confidence? Deepti Naval? Smita Jaykar? Gulshan Grover? If you need us to start a trust fund for you, please let us know.  You could have easily refused to be part of this movie after reading the script and returned the money as well (if any) unless you were blackmailed in some way.

And if all of this wasn’t enough – No political party has come up against the sleaze in this movie and called it a violation of Indian culture.  The Censor board has apparently given it a U Certificate (I missed that part of the movie but there were 2 kids in the hall so I am guessing it is right). Shocking.  We have our 1^st 0 on 10 for the year.  Hopefully the last.

DON’T watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TuwubuNNGlA