On one hand we had The Tabloid (read TOI) calling out Barfi! as a 4.5 on 5 – mind you that’s a very very very high score for any movie. In the same breath, the same tabloid called out this super low budget movie with a bunch of really good actors – a 1 on 5. That’s like the abyss in terms of movie ratings from the tabloid. What it also proves is that the tabloids reviews have to be taken with a pinch of salt – make that a table spoon the way reviews have been written in the past few years.
With a name like Jeena Hai Toh Thok Daal (JHTTD) I didn’t have too much of a choice to skip the movie. And I must say that in the first few minutes I wasn’t too disappointed. Set in a place that I have personally visited – Purnea – in North East Bihar, JHTTD is the story of 4 very close friends – as close as brothers. Together they form a gang that is quite dreaded in that part of the world and used by the incumbent Senior Inspector – Hanumant Singh (Murli Sharma) – for running contract killings as the situation may demand.
Yashpal Sharma (Mehkoo) is the eldest in the gang and has actually picked up Atka (Manish Vatsalya), Bitwa (Rahul Kumar) and Chandrabhan (Ravi Kissen) from the streets. He has actually bought them up in his backyard. Chandrabhan is the most respected of the lot because he is the only one with a stable head on his shoulders. The others have a short fuse.
The four have to now run a contract for a big don from Mumbai called Rana (Sharat Saxena). A contract that has been set up by Hanumant. The job is to kill Shrishti (Hazel Croney) – the daughter of a media baron called Pawar (Govind Namdeo). Pawar has been running a series of exposes on Rana and his more than dodgy operation. Despite several threats from Rana, Pawar doesn’t budge from his stand.
I must put in a disclaimer here. My call out I the earlier paragraphs was only to indicate that the movie is not as bad as the reviews claim. It is a standard gangster movie with some good performances from the usual suspects – Yashpal Sharma, Govind Namdeo, Murli Sharma, Sharat Saxena and Ravi Kissen do a damn good job. Director Manish Vatsalya should consider sticking to acting because he is quite good at it.
In sharp contrast, the female cast is really sad. Pooja Welling who is the narrator is one of the most lifeless faces and voices I have seen in recent times. Hazel Croney is the lead actress and has added little or no value to herself or the movie. And the screenplay at times makes you want to strangle the writer. Random lines like, “If you cannot save the innocent, then kill the bastard” or “Kya rakha hai zindagi mein. Laga aag pani mein”. Totally “duh” lines which had no reason to be there. Add to that the 30 minutes which could have been easily chopped.
Overall, if you have nothing better to do, this is not a bad way to spend an afternoon. But don’t expect too much. 4 on 10.
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maKP9c2Bsoo
Saturday, 15 September 2012
Barfi!
Written and directed by Anurag Basu would typically give you a “don’t know” feeling if and when you had considered what Barfi! would be like. Isn’t it? What with his previous debacle with Kites. One can never predict what our man is capable of. But with Ranbir Kapoor and the trailers, one would have expected a good fare.
The only worry in my mind was the 4.5 on 5 rating that India’s #1 tabloid had given the movie yesterday. That is something you can never trust. I was expecting a good story with a stellar performance from Ranbir and Priyanka. And that’s exactly what I got. Definitely not a 4.5 on 5. Closer to a 3.5 on 5 as a movie ergo 7 on 10 by my scale.
Add to that, the music from Pritam was also different – but then again it will probably be a matter of time before you are told that it was ripped off from the music of some exotic Central African country. Till such a time, I think we can enjoy the very classic 60s tunes made in a very jazzy fashion.
Murphy (Ranbir Kapoor) aka Barfi! is a twenty something (one can only assume) young man somewhere in 1972 in Darjeeling. A gorgeous tweenager, Shruti (Ileana D’Cruz) enters his life and Barfi! is floored out of his wits. He maybe a deaf mute but his eyes say a lot. And in a matter of a few hours, he proposes his love for Shruti. But, as luck would have it, Shruti is already spoken for by Ranjit a college senior and the engagement is three months away.
Simultaneously, a story is developing between Barfi! and Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra). Jhilmil and Barfi! grew up together. Jhilmil is autistic and responds to only her Daju who runs a home for special kids. When Barfi!’s father needs to be operated for a kidney failure and all attempts to raise money fail, our hero decides to play along with a kidnapping that’s gone wrong. He uses Jhilmil to get the 7K required for the surgery.
If I were to wear my critic’s hat then I thought a few things were really bad in the movie. To begin with, from the first frame itself, Ileana’s make up is atrocious to say the least. Ditto for the young cast who were required to look like they were 70+. And there were several over the top sequences. Lastly, it could have done with at least 30 minutes of scissors.
But on the good side, Anurag Basu manages to keep you glued to the screen for nearly 2.5 hours. Amidst all the tears (Cannot deny that I shed a tear or two), the story definitely touches you in the right places. The performances pretty much seal the deal. Probably the best performances of the year to date. Ranbir maybe in line for a back to back. Piggy Chops flirted with some overacting but was very good overall - may not bag the best actress thanks to Miss Balan but will run her really close.
Barfi! may not be the movie of the year but it will definitely be in the top 5 of the year to date. My top 5 in that order would be Gangs of Wasseypur, Vicky Donor, Paan Singh Tomar, Barfi! and Shanghai. Make it a part of your weekend for certain. And carry some tissue paper. You are bound to need it.
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZxrao3zou4
The only worry in my mind was the 4.5 on 5 rating that India’s #1 tabloid had given the movie yesterday. That is something you can never trust. I was expecting a good story with a stellar performance from Ranbir and Priyanka. And that’s exactly what I got. Definitely not a 4.5 on 5. Closer to a 3.5 on 5 as a movie ergo 7 on 10 by my scale.
Add to that, the music from Pritam was also different – but then again it will probably be a matter of time before you are told that it was ripped off from the music of some exotic Central African country. Till such a time, I think we can enjoy the very classic 60s tunes made in a very jazzy fashion.
Murphy (Ranbir Kapoor) aka Barfi! is a twenty something (one can only assume) young man somewhere in 1972 in Darjeeling. A gorgeous tweenager, Shruti (Ileana D’Cruz) enters his life and Barfi! is floored out of his wits. He maybe a deaf mute but his eyes say a lot. And in a matter of a few hours, he proposes his love for Shruti. But, as luck would have it, Shruti is already spoken for by Ranjit a college senior and the engagement is three months away.
Simultaneously, a story is developing between Barfi! and Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra). Jhilmil and Barfi! grew up together. Jhilmil is autistic and responds to only her Daju who runs a home for special kids. When Barfi!’s father needs to be operated for a kidney failure and all attempts to raise money fail, our hero decides to play along with a kidnapping that’s gone wrong. He uses Jhilmil to get the 7K required for the surgery.
If I were to wear my critic’s hat then I thought a few things were really bad in the movie. To begin with, from the first frame itself, Ileana’s make up is atrocious to say the least. Ditto for the young cast who were required to look like they were 70+. And there were several over the top sequences. Lastly, it could have done with at least 30 minutes of scissors.
But on the good side, Anurag Basu manages to keep you glued to the screen for nearly 2.5 hours. Amidst all the tears (Cannot deny that I shed a tear or two), the story definitely touches you in the right places. The performances pretty much seal the deal. Probably the best performances of the year to date. Ranbir maybe in line for a back to back. Piggy Chops flirted with some overacting but was very good overall - may not bag the best actress thanks to Miss Balan but will run her really close.
Barfi! may not be the movie of the year but it will definitely be in the top 5 of the year to date. My top 5 in that order would be Gangs of Wasseypur, Vicky Donor, Paan Singh Tomar, Barfi! and Shanghai. Make it a part of your weekend for certain. And carry some tissue paper. You are bound to need it.
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZxrao3zou4
Wednesday, 12 September 2012
To Rome With Love
Another screenplay nomination for Woody Allen? Probably yes. If the academy is used to and will continue to endorse his eccentric but totally hilarious style of script writing. Woody Allen – to my knowledge has got the maximum awards for screenplay to date – 4 (none of which have been collected by him because of his commitment to jazz – or the story goes). I personally would not be surprised if this is a 5th. What I am surprised about – and pleasantly at that – is the braveheart distributor in India who decided to release the movie in line with the US Markets – a phenomenon that hasn’t been seen to date with most of his other movies. Good for us I say.
To Rome With Love is, as the name suggests, an ode from the master writer to the city of Rome and the nuances that come from being there. It traces 4 stories through the length of the movie – 2 of which are in Italian and 2 in English. Probably an experiment from Woody – I don’t remember having seen such a combination before. However, unlike our funny Indian film makers, the Italian parts are in – guess what – Italian!!!! Not like a Hindi hero talking to an American or of late Australian cop in pure Hindi
Nevertheless, we have Jerry (Woody) and Phyllis (Judy Davis) who have to make a trip down to Rome because their daughter Hayley (Alison Pill) has fallen for an Italian lawyer called Michelangelo (Flavio Parenti). The name is Michel – not Michael. Mind it. Michel works pro bono (free) most of the time for the oppressed classes and has strong views on stuff like unionism – almost Communist in nature. Jerry is a retired Music Producer and Phyllis a psychiatrist.
In another part of Rome, we have John (Alec Baldwin) who has returned to the Rome that was home to him around 30 years back. He relives the entire time in Rome through the character of Jack (Jesse Eisenberg) who is currently seeing Sally (Greta Gerwig). But is soon to find himself torn between Sally and her best friend Monica (Ellen Paige) who visits the couple to get over a break up with a gay man who she hoped to change.
If you don’t think this is funny then there is the comedy of errors story of a newly married couple – Antonio (Alessandro Tiberi) & Milly (Alessandra Mastronardi). The former is in Rome to network with his uncles who are extremely well known in the business fraternity. Milly is a demure, naïve school teacher from a village in Italy. When Milly goes off to get her hair done, Antonio’s friends decide to send in a high class call girl – Anna (Penelope Cruz) to make his day. This story is truly funny.
And if all this fails to excite you about the movie then I suggest you skip the 2 hours because you are not going to be too excited about the prospect of the extremely funny and quirky Roberto Benigni essaying the role of Leopoldo – an ordinary office worker whose life gets thrown into fame thanks to the Italian media who makes him into a larger than life character.
If there is one thing I would love to learn from Woody Allen it would be his capability to bring to life so many characters. Even the most insignificant traffic policeman who begins the movie is fleshed out in a matter of seconds. If you are a Woody Allen fan then this one you cannot miss. If you are not then this one may just about get you to fall for this genre of alternate humour – I love Woody Allen – and let me assure you that it is not because I should love him or it is a very cool thing to say. I think you will enjoy To Rome With Love. 8 on 10. Don’t miss it. Potential Oscar nomination for Penelope Cruz - Best Actress in a supporting role.
Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3170738201/
To Rome With Love is, as the name suggests, an ode from the master writer to the city of Rome and the nuances that come from being there. It traces 4 stories through the length of the movie – 2 of which are in Italian and 2 in English. Probably an experiment from Woody – I don’t remember having seen such a combination before. However, unlike our funny Indian film makers, the Italian parts are in – guess what – Italian!!!! Not like a Hindi hero talking to an American or of late Australian cop in pure Hindi
Nevertheless, we have Jerry (Woody) and Phyllis (Judy Davis) who have to make a trip down to Rome because their daughter Hayley (Alison Pill) has fallen for an Italian lawyer called Michelangelo (Flavio Parenti). The name is Michel – not Michael. Mind it. Michel works pro bono (free) most of the time for the oppressed classes and has strong views on stuff like unionism – almost Communist in nature. Jerry is a retired Music Producer and Phyllis a psychiatrist.
In another part of Rome, we have John (Alec Baldwin) who has returned to the Rome that was home to him around 30 years back. He relives the entire time in Rome through the character of Jack (Jesse Eisenberg) who is currently seeing Sally (Greta Gerwig). But is soon to find himself torn between Sally and her best friend Monica (Ellen Paige) who visits the couple to get over a break up with a gay man who she hoped to change.
If you don’t think this is funny then there is the comedy of errors story of a newly married couple – Antonio (Alessandro Tiberi) & Milly (Alessandra Mastronardi). The former is in Rome to network with his uncles who are extremely well known in the business fraternity. Milly is a demure, naïve school teacher from a village in Italy. When Milly goes off to get her hair done, Antonio’s friends decide to send in a high class call girl – Anna (Penelope Cruz) to make his day. This story is truly funny.
And if all this fails to excite you about the movie then I suggest you skip the 2 hours because you are not going to be too excited about the prospect of the extremely funny and quirky Roberto Benigni essaying the role of Leopoldo – an ordinary office worker whose life gets thrown into fame thanks to the Italian media who makes him into a larger than life character.
If there is one thing I would love to learn from Woody Allen it would be his capability to bring to life so many characters. Even the most insignificant traffic policeman who begins the movie is fleshed out in a matter of seconds. If you are a Woody Allen fan then this one you cannot miss. If you are not then this one may just about get you to fall for this genre of alternate humour – I love Woody Allen – and let me assure you that it is not because I should love him or it is a very cool thing to say. I think you will enjoy To Rome With Love. 8 on 10. Don’t miss it. Potential Oscar nomination for Penelope Cruz - Best Actress in a supporting role.
Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3170738201/
Finding Nemo 3D
For those who came in late, Finding Nemo (Alexander Gould) is the story of Marlin (Albert Brooks) – Nemo’s father – who is a single father of a single fish thanks to a shark attack that leaves only one egg and takes Nemo’s mother away. He is over protective about Nemo to the point of suffocation. But on the 1st day of school, it takes a silly challenge for Nemo to leave his natural habitat and swim out into the open sea. His excitement is short lived thanks to P Sherman who lives @ 42 Wallaby Way in Sydney. He is a dentist who is on a diving trip and promptly picks up the clown fish for his monster niece – Darla.
Marlin isn’t one to give up easily. He decides to chase after Nemo. He meets a the forgetful Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) who offers to help in his search. And the adventure takes you from the Great Barrier Reef – Nemo’s habitat – all the way to Sydney. En Route they make friends with 3 “Vegetarian” Sharks, some really old turtles, ride the East Australian Current aka the EAC and manage to spend sometime inside a whale. All in a day’s work for the typical Aussie I am quite certain .
Nemo, in the meantime, finds himself in a fish tank with 5 other fish who are characters in themselves. Together, under the passionate leadership of Gill (Willem Dafoe), they hatch a daring plot to escape from the tank and more importantly save themselves from the deadly Darla.
Finding Nemo is the kind of movie that makes your scream out at the Academy and demand that voice overs should be nominated along with regular actors and actresses for mainstream awards. Performances from Willem Dafoe and Ellen DeGeneres will leave you spell bound to say the least. Finding Nemo is the kind of movie that should have made it to the Best Movie category in 2004 and I can only say that it is a travesty that animation is not treated at par with regular feature film.
Andrew Stanton must be an extremely talented person. Not only has he co-directed what is arguably in the top 5 animation movies of all time but he also lends his voice to one of the characters – Crush. Dig a bit deeper and you will find that this is the 6th time he is doing the voice over in a mainstream animation movie and has been part of quite a few good ones. Finding Nemo – undoubtedly – was and will probably be his best attempt. Because, in my books, there can only be 2 movies better – The Lion King and Jungle Book. Emulating them in itself would be asking too much from Stanton leave along beating them.
When Finding Nemo released a couple of weeks back – or should I say re-released in 3D – I was quite certain to be in line for the tickets. Took me till the Sunday of release to get around to finally watching it unfortunately. Now while the movie in itself was and has been an 8.5 on 10 in my books for nearly the decade since its release, I must say that the technology used in movie houses in India probably did not do justice to the 3D version. It is a damp squib at best. The saving grace is that the movie on its own will keep you riveted to the screen. Watchable – Now and Forever
Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2687214105/
Marlin isn’t one to give up easily. He decides to chase after Nemo. He meets a the forgetful Dory (Ellen DeGeneres) who offers to help in his search. And the adventure takes you from the Great Barrier Reef – Nemo’s habitat – all the way to Sydney. En Route they make friends with 3 “Vegetarian” Sharks, some really old turtles, ride the East Australian Current aka the EAC and manage to spend sometime inside a whale. All in a day’s work for the typical Aussie I am quite certain .
Nemo, in the meantime, finds himself in a fish tank with 5 other fish who are characters in themselves. Together, under the passionate leadership of Gill (Willem Dafoe), they hatch a daring plot to escape from the tank and more importantly save themselves from the deadly Darla.
Finding Nemo is the kind of movie that makes your scream out at the Academy and demand that voice overs should be nominated along with regular actors and actresses for mainstream awards. Performances from Willem Dafoe and Ellen DeGeneres will leave you spell bound to say the least. Finding Nemo is the kind of movie that should have made it to the Best Movie category in 2004 and I can only say that it is a travesty that animation is not treated at par with regular feature film.
Andrew Stanton must be an extremely talented person. Not only has he co-directed what is arguably in the top 5 animation movies of all time but he also lends his voice to one of the characters – Crush. Dig a bit deeper and you will find that this is the 6th time he is doing the voice over in a mainstream animation movie and has been part of quite a few good ones. Finding Nemo – undoubtedly – was and will probably be his best attempt. Because, in my books, there can only be 2 movies better – The Lion King and Jungle Book. Emulating them in itself would be asking too much from Stanton leave along beating them.
When Finding Nemo released a couple of weeks back – or should I say re-released in 3D – I was quite certain to be in line for the tickets. Took me till the Sunday of release to get around to finally watching it unfortunately. Now while the movie in itself was and has been an 8.5 on 10 in my books for nearly the decade since its release, I must say that the technology used in movie houses in India probably did not do justice to the 3D version. It is a damp squib at best. The saving grace is that the movie on its own will keep you riveted to the screen. Watchable – Now and Forever
Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2687214105/
I M 24
One of the few saving graces in September was this off beat movie called I M 24. When you have a movie with a cast that includes the likes of Rajat Kapoor, Ranvir Shorey, Vijay Raaz and Lilette Dubey, it is a safe bet to spend a little bit of money on. This was part of the triple header that was planned for the 2nd September 2012 (not Finding Nemo – which was on the previous Sunday) and thankfully it turned out to be a decent watch. Else my death warrant was pretty much sealed.
Shubendu Roy (Rajat Kapoor) – and I kid you not when I say that I burst out laughing loud when I heard the name itself – is a thirty something writer who has come in from somewhere in the Indian hinterland to the city of dreams. He shares his lovely house in Ghatkopar with his childhood buddy Gagandeep Singh (Ranvir Shorey). Gagan is a struggling actor himself and uses his smooth talking skills to get odd jobs. Given a choice, Gagan would never speak the truth. Shubhendu is the magnetic opposite.
Gagan lands up a small time job with a leading producer, director of small time serials played by Saurabh Shukla. The only worry is that the house is notorious for not making payments. On the sets he meets Sheela (Neha Dhupia) a struggling actress. Using the same slick talk, Gagan starts wooing Sheela. In the meantime, Shubhendu bumps into Kanak (Manjari Fadnis) on a chat site. When Kanak asks Shubhendu his age our man replies – I AM 24.
I M 24 is a bitter sweet movie that may have several inconsistencies and probably doesn’t stay true to its central theme that is – BE HONEST. But the lies and inconsistencies Saurabh Shukla (as the director) throws at you are petty ones with a certain endearing quality to them. From the first shot, you know that it is a super low budget movie that will offer not too much in terms of quality of movie. But what it lacks in quality of execution, I M 24 more than makes up in terms of story.
And then there are the performances of the cast that I had called out earlier in this review. True to their reputation – Rajat Kapoor, Ranvir Shorey, Saurabh Shukla, Lilette Dubey and Vijay Raaz all deliver very strong performances. Neha Dhupia is slowly but surely getting some quality roles to keep hopes alive on people believing that there is an actor somewhere there. Overall, a pretty decent way to spend a Sunday evening. May have left the screens by now. But the DVD would be a safe pick. 5 on 10.
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HVJtPfPAuE
Shubendu Roy (Rajat Kapoor) – and I kid you not when I say that I burst out laughing loud when I heard the name itself – is a thirty something writer who has come in from somewhere in the Indian hinterland to the city of dreams. He shares his lovely house in Ghatkopar with his childhood buddy Gagandeep Singh (Ranvir Shorey). Gagan is a struggling actor himself and uses his smooth talking skills to get odd jobs. Given a choice, Gagan would never speak the truth. Shubhendu is the magnetic opposite.
Gagan lands up a small time job with a leading producer, director of small time serials played by Saurabh Shukla. The only worry is that the house is notorious for not making payments. On the sets he meets Sheela (Neha Dhupia) a struggling actress. Using the same slick talk, Gagan starts wooing Sheela. In the meantime, Shubhendu bumps into Kanak (Manjari Fadnis) on a chat site. When Kanak asks Shubhendu his age our man replies – I AM 24.
I M 24 is a bitter sweet movie that may have several inconsistencies and probably doesn’t stay true to its central theme that is – BE HONEST. But the lies and inconsistencies Saurabh Shukla (as the director) throws at you are petty ones with a certain endearing quality to them. From the first shot, you know that it is a super low budget movie that will offer not too much in terms of quality of movie. But what it lacks in quality of execution, I M 24 more than makes up in terms of story.
And then there are the performances of the cast that I had called out earlier in this review. True to their reputation – Rajat Kapoor, Ranvir Shorey, Saurabh Shukla, Lilette Dubey and Vijay Raaz all deliver very strong performances. Neha Dhupia is slowly but surely getting some quality roles to keep hopes alive on people believing that there is an actor somewhere there. Overall, a pretty decent way to spend a Sunday evening. May have left the screens by now. But the DVD would be a safe pick. 5 on 10.
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HVJtPfPAuE
From Sydney with Love
Now this was the day after the great party that happened on the 31st August 2012. Actually 2 days later. Not surprisingly, it took me a day to recover from the “great gig”. So on the Sunday – 2nd September 2012, we decided to run a triple header beginning with the movie in question.
After a debacle with Joker (2 days back), one would have exercised more caution right? Not me. The idiot in me had to go for the noon show of a movie that wasn’t well publicized. Hope Floats as they say and I asked discretion to take a back seat. I knew that The Campaign was slotted next and we were signing off with Finding Nemo. So if FSWL turned out to be a downer, we had Hollywood coming to the rescue.
And how badly did I need Hollywood!!!! From Sydney with Love didn’t turn out to be a dampner at all. It was worse. It touched the abyss that Joker had, a little over 36 hours back. Newbie director Prateek Chakravorthy (Grandson of Pramod Chakravorty of Nastik and Love in Tokyo fame) ensured beyond a shadow of doubt that his grand daddy was suffering from the proverbial “rolling in his grave” syndrome.
FSWL is the story of Meghaa (Bidita Bag) who decides to pursue her further studies in Australia so that she can return home better equipped to help people @ Shantiniketan. @ the University, she meets Raj (Prateek Chakravorty) over a bicycle collision. Raj of course falls instantly and Meghaa of course tries to put the distance between Sydney and Shantiniketan between the two.
Along the way, Megha gets close to Rohit (Sharad Malhotra) and befriends Lubaina Snyder (Evelyn Sharma) who coincidentally has the hots for Raj. Why Raj cannot see that Lubaina is miles hotter than Meghaa is beyond any reasoning – logical or otherwise. Also, why are Raj and Megha and Lubaina and Rohit in the same class although Raj has been at University for over 4 years is another conundrum that cannot be solved. But in between all of this, Megha gets knocked up by Rohit and suddenly runs away back home without any conversation with Rohit.
Random long shots, pregnant pauses, insipid and senseless music with little or no purpose, a complete absence of acting talent, horrendous screenplay, slimy dialogues, even slimier attempted item numbers with the director cum lead actor prancing around between several half naked women on an Australian (whats this new found fascination for the land down under) beach is what greets you in the first 5 minutes. I swear, I tried my level best to crawl under the seat so that Prarthana doesn’t beat me up. But the patient soul that she is, she not only survived the movie but didn’t beat me up either – something that I would have undeniably deserved. We have our 2nd 1 on 10 for the year and hopefully the last one.
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePI6go0sTxw
After a debacle with Joker (2 days back), one would have exercised more caution right? Not me. The idiot in me had to go for the noon show of a movie that wasn’t well publicized. Hope Floats as they say and I asked discretion to take a back seat. I knew that The Campaign was slotted next and we were signing off with Finding Nemo. So if FSWL turned out to be a downer, we had Hollywood coming to the rescue.
And how badly did I need Hollywood!!!! From Sydney with Love didn’t turn out to be a dampner at all. It was worse. It touched the abyss that Joker had, a little over 36 hours back. Newbie director Prateek Chakravorthy (Grandson of Pramod Chakravorty of Nastik and Love in Tokyo fame) ensured beyond a shadow of doubt that his grand daddy was suffering from the proverbial “rolling in his grave” syndrome.
FSWL is the story of Meghaa (Bidita Bag) who decides to pursue her further studies in Australia so that she can return home better equipped to help people @ Shantiniketan. @ the University, she meets Raj (Prateek Chakravorty) over a bicycle collision. Raj of course falls instantly and Meghaa of course tries to put the distance between Sydney and Shantiniketan between the two.
Along the way, Megha gets close to Rohit (Sharad Malhotra) and befriends Lubaina Snyder (Evelyn Sharma) who coincidentally has the hots for Raj. Why Raj cannot see that Lubaina is miles hotter than Meghaa is beyond any reasoning – logical or otherwise. Also, why are Raj and Megha and Lubaina and Rohit in the same class although Raj has been at University for over 4 years is another conundrum that cannot be solved. But in between all of this, Megha gets knocked up by Rohit and suddenly runs away back home without any conversation with Rohit.
Random long shots, pregnant pauses, insipid and senseless music with little or no purpose, a complete absence of acting talent, horrendous screenplay, slimy dialogues, even slimier attempted item numbers with the director cum lead actor prancing around between several half naked women on an Australian (whats this new found fascination for the land down under) beach is what greets you in the first 5 minutes. I swear, I tried my level best to crawl under the seat so that Prarthana doesn’t beat me up. But the patient soul that she is, she not only survived the movie but didn’t beat me up either – something that I would have undeniably deserved. We have our 2nd 1 on 10 for the year and hopefully the last one.
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ePI6go0sTxw
Expendables 2
Barney Ross and his band of old but extremely well built (they can kick a lot of ass even today for certain) men are back. One would have thought that better sense would have prevailed on them with the not so successful previous attempt. But then Sly Stallone chooses to live by the maxim that he preached to his screen son as Rocky Balboa, “It is not about how hard you can hit but about how hard you can get hit and keep picking yourself up”. Only that would explain a 2nd installment of The Expendables.
Lets look at the list of dialogues that would qualify for the Razzies in screenplay
1. Bruce Willis to Arnold – “You’ve been back enough. Now I’ll be back” :S:S:S
2. Terry Crews when he is asked to hand over his weapon – “My big weapon is hanging exactly where it is” – Like what???
3. And then there is “Rest in pieces” and “I now pronounce you man and knife” – AAAARGH!!!!
4. Jason Statham – “That thing belongs to the museum”. In reply we have Stallone – “We all do”. Probably the only dialogue that made any sense.
5. Someone to Arnold or vice versa – “If I don’t get this back, your ass is terminated” – somebody please stop!!!
And I realized the reason for all of this. Guess who has written the screenplay – of course in an attempt to save a truck load of money – Sly Stallone himself.
If all of this doesn’t get to your nerves then you have a random Belarusian village where all the women can speak impeccable, grammatically correct English albeit in an attempted Belarusian accent. I think Sly uncle’s visit to the sets of Kambakht Ishq rubbed off on him in more ways than we could have imagined. Of course there is the absolutely unnecessary but not unwelcome return of Chuck Norris as Booker who always works alone.
All of this for making a movie that should not have been made in the first place. But for posterity, lets give you a glimpse into the story. Church (Willis) catches up with the old man’s team and asks him to complete an assignment to absolve the team of all pending cases against them. Barney (Stallone) accepts and finds himself somewhere in Eastern Europe to recover a digital map for a few tons of Plutonium. In the bargain he loses the youngest member of the squad – Bill the Kid (Liam Hemsworth) to the ruthless JCVD in his first villainous role. The chase begins.
The Expendables 2 is a vastly avoidable movie. Even if you are an absolute fan of action movies and the men who made Hollywood action a reality, I would request you to avoid it. Because it is those very men who are sinking deeper and deeper into an abyss that they may never return from. Quite a heart breaker in that sense of the word. I was extremely disappointed. 4 on 10. The past few weeks have been disappointing with a couple of exceptions I guess.
Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi839492121/
Lets look at the list of dialogues that would qualify for the Razzies in screenplay
1. Bruce Willis to Arnold – “You’ve been back enough. Now I’ll be back” :S:S:S
2. Terry Crews when he is asked to hand over his weapon – “My big weapon is hanging exactly where it is” – Like what???
3. And then there is “Rest in pieces” and “I now pronounce you man and knife” – AAAARGH!!!!
4. Jason Statham – “That thing belongs to the museum”. In reply we have Stallone – “We all do”. Probably the only dialogue that made any sense.
5. Someone to Arnold or vice versa – “If I don’t get this back, your ass is terminated” – somebody please stop!!!
And I realized the reason for all of this. Guess who has written the screenplay – of course in an attempt to save a truck load of money – Sly Stallone himself.
If all of this doesn’t get to your nerves then you have a random Belarusian village where all the women can speak impeccable, grammatically correct English albeit in an attempted Belarusian accent. I think Sly uncle’s visit to the sets of Kambakht Ishq rubbed off on him in more ways than we could have imagined. Of course there is the absolutely unnecessary but not unwelcome return of Chuck Norris as Booker who always works alone.
All of this for making a movie that should not have been made in the first place. But for posterity, lets give you a glimpse into the story. Church (Willis) catches up with the old man’s team and asks him to complete an assignment to absolve the team of all pending cases against them. Barney (Stallone) accepts and finds himself somewhere in Eastern Europe to recover a digital map for a few tons of Plutonium. In the bargain he loses the youngest member of the squad – Bill the Kid (Liam Hemsworth) to the ruthless JCVD in his first villainous role. The chase begins.
The Expendables 2 is a vastly avoidable movie. Even if you are an absolute fan of action movies and the men who made Hollywood action a reality, I would request you to avoid it. Because it is those very men who are sinking deeper and deeper into an abyss that they may never return from. Quite a heart breaker in that sense of the word. I was extremely disappointed. 4 on 10. The past few weeks have been disappointing with a couple of exceptions I guess.
Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi839492121/
The Campaign
I will not lie about it. The only Will Ferrell movie that I have really enjoyed is Stranger Than Fiction. And Zach whatshisname hasn’t inspired any confidence in me since Hangover. In fact, even in Hangover, I wasn’t really thrilled about his performance. Like seriously folks – irritation and humour are not synonyms by any stretch of imagination. However, I am quite certain that there are millions out there who love both of them.
Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) is a hugely successful Democrat who has won from his constituency for four consecutive terms. And the fifth term is only a matter of completing a formality. One would have assumed that he will coast into yet another unopposed win with the least of worries.
But his promoters – the Motch Brothers – Wade (Dan Aykroyd) and Glenn (John Lithgow) have other ideas. Primarily to ensure that their selfish motives of moving a huge plant for toys from China to the US. That would need a bill to be passed in the Senate and therefore a puppet who will do as s/he has been told. Enter – Marty Huggins (Galifianakis) s/o Raymond Huggins (Brian Cox).
Marty runs a not so successful domestic tour business. And he doesn’t have his father’s favour – rightfully so – thanks to his weird ways that inspire no confidence. But the Motch brothers need a fall guy – a scapegoat. So instead of Junior Huggins who would be the normal choice, they pick Marty. And what follows is an attempted comedy that falls sorely flat on its nose.
If you are a Ferrell / Zach fan – and by that I mean that you really enjoyed movies such as Due Date (Zach) or The Other Guys (Ferrell) – then The Campaign should be on your must watch list. Even the director – Jay Roach – comes from the slapstick genre. His previous exploits include the Austin Powers series and that painful series involving the most over rated actor in Hollywood who goes by the name of Ben Stiller.
There is nothing different that The Campaign has to offer in terms of entertainment. You may see Hollywood stoop to lower levels of degrading people in the name of comedy but nothing that compares or holds a candle to good healthy entertainment. Crass dialogues, really sad twists in the story and slapstick humour are all you can look forward to in this one. I didn’t quite enjoy it too much. But then it is much better than some of the other trash that’s playing these days. 5 on 10.
Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi277390617/
Cam Brady (Will Ferrell) is a hugely successful Democrat who has won from his constituency for four consecutive terms. And the fifth term is only a matter of completing a formality. One would have assumed that he will coast into yet another unopposed win with the least of worries.
But his promoters – the Motch Brothers – Wade (Dan Aykroyd) and Glenn (John Lithgow) have other ideas. Primarily to ensure that their selfish motives of moving a huge plant for toys from China to the US. That would need a bill to be passed in the Senate and therefore a puppet who will do as s/he has been told. Enter – Marty Huggins (Galifianakis) s/o Raymond Huggins (Brian Cox).
Marty runs a not so successful domestic tour business. And he doesn’t have his father’s favour – rightfully so – thanks to his weird ways that inspire no confidence. But the Motch brothers need a fall guy – a scapegoat. So instead of Junior Huggins who would be the normal choice, they pick Marty. And what follows is an attempted comedy that falls sorely flat on its nose.
If you are a Ferrell / Zach fan – and by that I mean that you really enjoyed movies such as Due Date (Zach) or The Other Guys (Ferrell) – then The Campaign should be on your must watch list. Even the director – Jay Roach – comes from the slapstick genre. His previous exploits include the Austin Powers series and that painful series involving the most over rated actor in Hollywood who goes by the name of Ben Stiller.
There is nothing different that The Campaign has to offer in terms of entertainment. You may see Hollywood stoop to lower levels of degrading people in the name of comedy but nothing that compares or holds a candle to good healthy entertainment. Crass dialogues, really sad twists in the story and slapstick humour are all you can look forward to in this one. I didn’t quite enjoy it too much. But then it is much better than some of the other trash that’s playing these days. 5 on 10.
Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi277390617/
Friday, 7 September 2012
Joker (2012 Hindi)
Last Friday (31st Aug 2012), we had a lot of work aligned and a very exciting day planned in store. It was my girl friend’s birthday and I had been planning a surprise party for quite a while. Over a week at least if memory serves me right. And helping me out with it was a very close friend Prachi Tiwari – who unlike me is already gainfully unemployed (I will be joining that band wagon quite soon). She was the first person I could think of and boy does it help to have some assistance when you are planning a surprise party.
True to her reputation Ms. Tiwari did a fabulous job of organizing for the party and was ably assisted by Shri Hersh Kathuria and Shri Pruthviraj Patil who assigned the chores of arranging for the food and getting a whole bunch of stuff for the party. The list of things that Pruthvi organized for – on the fly – included exotic stuff like wine glasses (which were never used eventually :p) and not so exotic stuff like milk and elaichi. But thanks to their timely intervention, the food was well taken care of.
I cant even begin to tell you how fortunate I am to have a bunch of complete buffoons as friends. Miraculously, all of them – except the younger ones (read Nikhil, Purnima, Sumantra and Deby) came in well on time. And if it hadn’t been for some gel nail polish which took about 30 minutes longer than normal and 250 bucks to remove we somehow managed to retain the surprise element when we got back home @ 2115 hrs.
We also played host to 2 of Prarthana’s closest friends – Shwetal and Anshu. Both of them made it with family in tow which was kind of risky considering the buffoon friends I referred to in the previous paragraph. I must tip my hat to their openness because they had absolutely no clue to the riot that we are capable of being once we have a little bit of blood in our alcohol stream we can be a senseless riot. And a senseless riot we were.
An hour and the term “Rock the party” was getting to be as real as the maker of the phrase intended it to be. There were drinks being mixed. Candles being blown out. Cakes being cut. Cakes being smeared on the birthday girl’s face. Cult tales from Café Mondegar’s being recalled. Some more drinks being mixed. Bouncers (read Pruthvi and Eddy) getting drunk…. Hey wait a minute… I thought this was a review for Joker isn’t it? Never mind… our party was more exciting by many country miles. 8 on 10 for the party (and we have had better). We have our first 1 on 10 for the year folks!!!
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrbKp5N74zE
True to her reputation Ms. Tiwari did a fabulous job of organizing for the party and was ably assisted by Shri Hersh Kathuria and Shri Pruthviraj Patil who assigned the chores of arranging for the food and getting a whole bunch of stuff for the party. The list of things that Pruthvi organized for – on the fly – included exotic stuff like wine glasses (which were never used eventually :p) and not so exotic stuff like milk and elaichi. But thanks to their timely intervention, the food was well taken care of.
I cant even begin to tell you how fortunate I am to have a bunch of complete buffoons as friends. Miraculously, all of them – except the younger ones (read Nikhil, Purnima, Sumantra and Deby) came in well on time. And if it hadn’t been for some gel nail polish which took about 30 minutes longer than normal and 250 bucks to remove we somehow managed to retain the surprise element when we got back home @ 2115 hrs.
We also played host to 2 of Prarthana’s closest friends – Shwetal and Anshu. Both of them made it with family in tow which was kind of risky considering the buffoon friends I referred to in the previous paragraph. I must tip my hat to their openness because they had absolutely no clue to the riot that we are capable of being once we have a little bit of blood in our alcohol stream we can be a senseless riot. And a senseless riot we were.
An hour and the term “Rock the party” was getting to be as real as the maker of the phrase intended it to be. There were drinks being mixed. Candles being blown out. Cakes being cut. Cakes being smeared on the birthday girl’s face. Cult tales from Café Mondegar’s being recalled. Some more drinks being mixed. Bouncers (read Pruthvi and Eddy) getting drunk…. Hey wait a minute… I thought this was a review for Joker isn’t it? Never mind… our party was more exciting by many country miles. 8 on 10 for the party (and we have had better). We have our first 1 on 10 for the year folks!!!
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrbKp5N74zE
Shirin Farhad Ki Toh Nikal Padi
I love Boman Irani. As does most of the country I am certain. And I also like Farah Khan for the movies that she makes. Except the last one which bombed miserably and I must say was really baaaad. But I hadn’t quite expected that the bad luck and loss of talent in direction would rub off on the sheer confidence that is required on screen. What is worse is that it seems to be contagious as well. And that it has rubbed off so badly on Boman Irani that he seems to have forgotten how to act.
Never – and I seriously mean NEVER – have I seen Boman Irani so much at sea with a concept that is like second skin to him. Even when he was playing really weird characters like the principal in Main Hoon Na, Boman has always regaled us with his comfort on screen and commitment to the role. But I guess with SFKTNP he has been successfully downgraded to the level of a bad actor. A below par Boman still overshadows the lowly mortals around him as the 45 year old Parsee Underwear salesman who doesn’t seem to be able to find a suitable match – Farhad Pastakia
And one of them is the latest presenter of movies in the style of a documentary – Farah Khan. All through SFKTNP you cannot help but feel sorry for the moments that the audience has to look at her constipated expressions. Even news readers present with so much more passion. I am sure Bela Bhansali Sehgal was high on some really potent stuff when she decided to cast her in the role of the middle aged woman who has chosen to stay single because her father is in a coma – Shirin Fuggawala.
Shirin and Farhad meet when Shirin walks into the store where Farhad is the salesman to buy a bra. Over the next few days, the two of them bump into each other several times and love (read louv) happens. But the Fuggawala – Pastakia union is fraught with risk from day one. Simply put because of the fact that Shirin has successfully managed to get Mrs. Pastakia (Daisy Irani) really upset by removing the illegal water tank that was build by Mr. Pastakia before he passed – The last memory that they have of Farhad’s father.
What could have been a really sweet love story turns out to be a weak attempt at entertainment with several corny one liners and some really bad jokes thrown in as garnish. It was as if Bela was trying to say, “You thought my direction was bad? Look at the screenplay. Its worse”. But definitely not worse than Farah Khan on the other side of the camera. That has to take the cake this time around. The insipid music doesn’t do much to help things either. 3 on 10 for a movie that has proven once again that our critics are bought out straight through.
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJq9nU1FFpc
Never – and I seriously mean NEVER – have I seen Boman Irani so much at sea with a concept that is like second skin to him. Even when he was playing really weird characters like the principal in Main Hoon Na, Boman has always regaled us with his comfort on screen and commitment to the role. But I guess with SFKTNP he has been successfully downgraded to the level of a bad actor. A below par Boman still overshadows the lowly mortals around him as the 45 year old Parsee Underwear salesman who doesn’t seem to be able to find a suitable match – Farhad Pastakia
And one of them is the latest presenter of movies in the style of a documentary – Farah Khan. All through SFKTNP you cannot help but feel sorry for the moments that the audience has to look at her constipated expressions. Even news readers present with so much more passion. I am sure Bela Bhansali Sehgal was high on some really potent stuff when she decided to cast her in the role of the middle aged woman who has chosen to stay single because her father is in a coma – Shirin Fuggawala.
Shirin and Farhad meet when Shirin walks into the store where Farhad is the salesman to buy a bra. Over the next few days, the two of them bump into each other several times and love (read louv) happens. But the Fuggawala – Pastakia union is fraught with risk from day one. Simply put because of the fact that Shirin has successfully managed to get Mrs. Pastakia (Daisy Irani) really upset by removing the illegal water tank that was build by Mr. Pastakia before he passed – The last memory that they have of Farhad’s father.
What could have been a really sweet love story turns out to be a weak attempt at entertainment with several corny one liners and some really bad jokes thrown in as garnish. It was as if Bela was trying to say, “You thought my direction was bad? Look at the screenplay. Its worse”. But definitely not worse than Farah Khan on the other side of the camera. That has to take the cake this time around. The insipid music doesn’t do much to help things either. 3 on 10 for a movie that has proven once again that our critics are bought out straight through.
Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KJq9nU1FFpc
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