Total Siyapaa

Do you remember a director called E Niwas? The one who did Love Ke Liye Kuch Bhi Karega some 13 years back (2001) and an extremely forgettable movie called My Name is Anthony Gonsalves around 6 years ago (2008)? Total Siyapaa is his attempt to make a comeback into cinema.  Regretably, Eeshwar Niwas will remain a one-movie-wonder with Shool (1999 – Manoj Bajpayee).

TS challenges every single muscle and bone in your body by saying, “I dare you to remain seated through the next 2 hours”.  TS is yet another example where the trailer does its job by putting up all the good parts of the movie and gets you excited enough to make the effort.  But about 10 minutes into the movie when you haven’t heard a single dialogue worth its salt, you start squirming in your seat.

Aman (Ali Zafar) and Asha (Yaami Gautam) are a couple.  The first indication of the movie being corny should have been their names (conveniently moved out of the trailer).  Aman is a Pakistani Punjabi and Asha is Indian Punjabi.  For those unaware, these 2 breeds can rarely see eye to eye leave along being in love.  They live in London and want to get married. The first hurdle would be Asha’s family.

TS is the story of meeting the parents and all hell breaking loose over a few hours on a rainy London evening.  It attempts to be a comedy with a little bit of romance thrown in but lands up being yet another slapstick flick and nothing more.  If you are looking for corny then this is how you would spend your Sunday afternoon.  Guess what Aman and Asha want to name their daughter – Shanti!!!! #strangleshimselfforpickingthismovie

There is really nothing more that I can add towards giving you a better idea about the story.  Despite the fact that it was only about an hour a 50 minutes long, I could have clipped 20 minutes.  Hell I could have clipped the entire movie if it were upto me but unfortunately it wasn’t upto me.

There were elements that were just not required like the unnecessary sister Jiah (Sarah Khan) or for that matter Jiah’s stingy husband (Sagar Arya).  Of course their extremely irritable daughter whose idea of playing is pretending to be pregnant and whose mother tells her never to say “please”!!! #ordersforthickropeonamazon

I could go on with the unnecessary but that would take too long.  I was desperately looking for some good and found 2 lines that were worth taking back or made me laugh just a little bit – both of which feature in the trailer.  So you all could save yourselves a bit of time and watch that instead of the movie.  2 on 10 – only for the fact that Ali Zafar, Kirron Kher and Anupam Kher can act and give some respite to a boring script.

Watch the trailer on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXgVgSdU7ko