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Friday, 18 July 2014

Hate Story 2

Akshay (Jay Bhaushali) is about to be beaten up by Mandar Mhatre’s (Sushant Singh) henchmen.  Akshay screams, “Mandar Mhatre!!! Agar tu mard ka bachcha hai toh akele ladh ke dikha” (If you are a man then fight alone).  Mhatre replies with a scowl on his face, “Koi zaroorat nahin mujhe dikhane ke liye ki mai mard ka bachcha hoon” (I don’t need to show YOU that I am a man).

This scene HAS to be the definitive high point of Hate Story 2.  Unfortunately, there is nothing else worth looking forward to except “Varghese… Inspector Varghese…. Inspector Antoine Varghese”.  Watching Siddharth Kher delivering his introduction is the closest thing that one can come to the term HOWLARIOUS!!!!

Once he gets the introduction out of the way, you are left exasperated for breaks that vary from as little as 10 minutes to as much as 30 wherein Varghese just disappears and you are left gasping for breath because the meagre entertainment also disappears with him.  And I don’t mean it in a good way.

Hate Story 1 was twice as good in almost all aspects – not that, it was any benchmark to begin with.  And with respect to a skin show, Hate Story 1 was probably infinitely better because the only skin that you will see (if you were in the theatre for that to begin with) would be that on the poster.  Even Sunny Leone singing ‘Pink Lips” (that sounds like Pin Clips) is fully clad in an item number!!! This is cheating.

That, Sushant Singh, is facing a drought of roles of any kind is quite obvious with Hate Story 2.  Why else would anyone in his right mind – especially someone who is reasonably talented like Sushant Singh – sign up for a movie of this quality.  In his defence, Sushant ensures that he delivers his crappy one liners in a solid manner. Here are all of the seven wonders of Mandar Mhatre. 
  1. Photo woh nahin joh camera se kheenchi jaati hai. dimaag mein chhap jaati hai.
  2. Aurat ko apni jaat aur dushman ko apni aukaad Kitna jaldi dikha doh achcha hai
  3. Choonti ke par aur nagin ka sar shuru mein hi kuchal Dena chahiye
  4. Qaidi ki azaadi ki aarzoo aur rakhel ki shaadi ki aarzoo kabhi na kabhi sar uthati.
  5. Bhool jaana aur maaf karna mandar mhatre ki dictionary mein hai hi nahin
  6. Kamzoor ke irade aur neta ke vaade todne ke liye hi bane hain
  7. Biwi ke aankhon mein pyar aur maashooka ke hathon mein hathyar dono dikhawe ke liye hote hain
Of course, the best one is reserved for the insipid Surveen Chawla who makes you want to scream, “We want Paoli! We Want Paoli!!” again and again and again.  Sonika (Surveen) signs off by saying, “Paagal aur awaara haathi dono bandook ke goli ke liye bane hain.  Kaash tere baba ne Yeh bhi bataya hota”.

I haven’t translated any of the Hindi dialogues simply because it will not have even 1% of the traumatic impact that these seven vignettes had on the audience.  At one point they were all laughing out of exasperation.  Hate Story 2 is an attempt at suspense and drama that has gone woefully wrong.  It turns out to be comic and inadvertently funny.  2 on 10.

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