Khamoshiyan (2015) (Hindi)

My best friend and I were having a drink last night and discussing today’s releases.  When I mentioned Khamoshiyan he said, “I don’t go to Vikram Bhatt movies any more because they claim to show a lot of skin but end up showing nothing”.  He was bang on in terms of his assessment much like many of us.  The unfortunate few involved in writing about cinema don’t have a choice per se.

With us lowly mortals, the absence of skin show is not much of a worry simply because we have to go through several other pains during the 2 hours or so (thankfully the movies have got shorter) that Shri Bhatt and his band of directors torture us with.  This time around it is newbie Karan Darra who puts us through some mumbo jumbo set in a desolate bungalow that is uncreatively called, “The Lake House”.

Kabir Malhotra (Ali Fazal) is a writer who is down and out and almost buried under his own Writer’s block.  He has 3 unfinished novels and spends more time in harassing his ex-girlfriend who smartly ditched him on the road downhill.  Our hero, however, has a conscience and decides to return the advance that he has been given for his 3 novels (how in the blazes was an advance given first of all) and take off on a soul-searching trip.

He decides to backpack all the way to a place that the script claims to be in Kashmir but looks European.  In fact the place that they call “Mumbai” still has the European street names – no effort made to edit them out.  Trust the VF banner to ensure something that silly and callous.

Nevertheless, our hero reaches The Lake House to be welcomed by its owner i.e. Meera (Sapna Pabbi).  Meera is not the only resident of this desolate and eerie house.  She lives there with her husband Jaidev (Gurmeet Choudhary) who is unfortunately paralaysed from the waist down and is bed ridden.  Of course there is a spirit as well who makes life miserable for Kabir on his first night itself.

As always, the VF banner is successful in delivering yet another flick that fits in beautifully into a genre called “Attempted Horror”.  They attempt to scare but even the otherwise weak hearted would probably giggle their way through this one. The concept of butterflies morphing into ghouls is simply outstandingly awesome.  They have exceeded themselves by a distance this time around.

And the bar is being set higher on all counts.  Ali Fazal and his forever “loser” expression makes it even more fun to watch.  Sapna Pabbi does her best to shed her British accent but has a long way to go on that count.  For those expecting a phenomenal skin show – Mallika Sherawat was far more gutsy in her first.  Of course the monsters are equally funny.  Watch if you want to have a good laugh.  1 on 10.

Watch the trailer on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-tBWvbyIiVM