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Saturday, 24 May 2014


As per my clock, there are only 3 instances where this happens.  First at 14 minutes and 32.5 seconds.  Next at 22 minutes and 17.8 seconds.  And the third at 80 minutes and 28.3 seconds.  Of course the decimal places are for exaggeration and there would be some minor error range that you will have to pardon me for.

I am of course talking about nothing else but the dialogue of the year.  Hell it can stake its claim for dialogue of the damn decade!!! And a lot of it has to do with the person delivering the dialogue.  Generations to come will be scarred with what happens in these 3 moments in time when you watch Heropanti.

“Kya Karoon? Sabko aati nahin.  Meri jaati nahin”!!!! If this was Chennai and Thalaivar had delivered this dialogue, and if fortunately you were watching that movie from the first 4-5 rows then you would have been richer by a few thousand bucks in change by the end of the movie.

For now, you have to make do with the six-pack (or maybe 8 pack because I lost count) form of a chocolate boy looking hero called Jai Hemant aka Tiger Shroff.  I would have used the words unfortunately or regrettably but I would be very unfair.  Tiger Shroff isn’t all that bad.  He would have been more suited to carry off, “Rahul… naam toh suna hoga” type dialogues but a high impact dialogue like this? Nah!!!

Also, to be fair, Tiger Shroff is the best thing that has happened to Bollywood action after Vidyut Jammwal (who is undeniably the best as on date). There is a fight scene right about 15 minutes into the movie that is a sight for sore eyes.  Shroff (and I am told not his body double) is fantastic when he is throwing his punches.

Unfortunately for him, director Sabbir Khan chooses to make Heropanti into a soppy melodramatic love story.  Cut to a movie with Jammwal called Commando – it suffered from a similar fate because of the necessary but a tad too much of romance (read louv).  Heropanti takes the louv angle in commando and multiplies it by infinite.

This should have been a movie where Shroff should have been given a minimum of 6 fight sequences against the 2 full fights and 2 excuses for fight sequences.  It should have been a non-stop action flick directed by someone like Rohit Shetty who would have launched Shroff and his skill sets like a rocket to Jupiter.

Instead we have to sustain family melodrama set to a Haryanvi Jat background.  It takes all of your courage and will power to sit through the parts where Sabbir Khan shoves down ladle after ladle of melodrama.  Daughters eloping on their wedding day, fathers promising to honour kill, uncles chasing you through the city flashing their guns and of course a whole bunch of hot blooded Jats who have to scream without reason.

If not for the gorgeous Kriti Sanon, sitting through the 2.5 hours of melodrama would have been too much for an already disappointing Friday (I had watched Kochadaiiyaan before this).  Sanon cannot act too well but at she isn’t a disaster either.  There is hope.  I would say the same about Shroff.  But the movie? Avoidable.  2 on 10.

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