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Thursday, 2 October 2014

Bang Bang! (Hindi) (2014)

Bang Bang! lost me about 30 seconds into the movie. A senior intelligence officer, Colonel Viren Nanda (Jimmy Shergill) walks into the MI6 headquarters to collect a gift – Omar (Danny Denzongpa).  Along the way through 253 layers of security, the colonel asks, “Woh London mein kya kar raha thha”? If there could have been anything more insulting to the Indian Secret Service (ISS) I would really like to know.

Next up, what MI6 apparently didn’t realize is that the 253 layers of security are insufficient to keep the most wanted criminal of Interpol secure.  The damn building is made of glass and it takes a 15-20 people to storm in and get Omar out.  Wow!!! Insulted ISS and MI6 within 3 minutes and 28 seconds!!!! How cool is that.  Of course Omar’s countdown from 10, 9 and directly to Bang Bang! added a lovely touch to the insults.

The absolutely God awful titling did little to help a movie that was only headed downhill after this. Thankfully Siddharth Anand did some right things in fits and starts. There are a few action sequences that are fairly well done and of course a couple of songs thrown in as garnish with the Greek God of Indian cinema embarrassing the life out of his co-star and even the otherwise seasoned back-up dancers.

Siddharth Anand got off on the wrong foot much before the movie hit the floors but signing up to remake a movie that was not the most popular one in the world anyways ( I have mixed feelings there because a part of me is thankful that he didn’t ruin a great movie.  Another part says that he may have as well dubbed K&D in Hindi instead of going through all this pain.

But then again he does get some of the casting right.  Hritik as Rajveer is an absolute sight for sore eyes – Ladies be warned that you need to be equipped with a few bibs to survive the drool fest that is in store for you.  I cannot say the same for the guys though – Katrina is her usual hot but confused self and is completely over shadowed on screen by the original Greek God of Bollywood.

Dialogues that are forgettable, Green Screen usage that leaves movie lovers in tears, blatant screen time for Macroman underwear, Mountain Dew and Pizza Hut (that delivers to MI6 as well), Sound proof toilets that prevent a machine gun fest from being heard through wafer thin walls, 253 layers of security that don’t allow guns inside but are fine with cell phones – all seem in a days work for Bang Bang!

The audience did a little bit to restore my faith in their sensibilities when a significant section burst out laughing.  Why? Because Rajveer decides to hijack an F1 car from the Yas Marina Circuit for chasing down Omar in the last but one chase scene.  Downright hilarious!!!

If you are looking for mindless cinema making or you want to satisfy your lecherous instincts (man and woman alike) then Bang Bang! maybe the way you want to spend the longest weekend of 2014.  But at the end of it all, you may just feel like you need to Take gun out of drawer or where you keep it. Ensure safety is off.  Ensure bullets loaded.  Point towards head and go Bang! (you cannot do it twice in this instance).  3 on 10.

Definitely Watch the trailer on

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