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Friday, 10 October 2014

Tamanchey – Pyaar Mein Dil Pe Maar De Goli

Let’s start off with the good stuff in “Tamanchey – Pyar Mein Dil Pe Maar De Goli” (TPMDPMDG) because that is the easy part.  There is very little to talk about and can be done with really quick.  I must remember to thank newbie director Suryaveer Singh Bhullar and editor Mahesh Jaitley who ensured that the movie was kept to an hour and forty minutes.  I would have cut a further hour and forty minutes to be absolutely sure but what the heck.  Good job Mahesh Jaitley!!!

It took every ounce of my patience and commitment to sit through the 100 minutes and I was extremely thankful that they didn’t test me or the 3 other people in the hall more.  The best part of (TPMDPMDG) was listening to Kishore Kumar and Asha Bhonsle, singing to the music of RD Burman as part of the titling.  Everything else was the proverbial slide downhill.

The movie starts with a closed police van that is carrying a couple of criminals to jail.  The van rolls off a hilly road in Uttarakhand and voila – everyone in the van is thrown out of it.  Despite the low quality 1 cm grills that are provided on police vans, 4 human beings could have been thrown out only with some divine intervention.

Over the titling, Suryaveer Sir takes Babu (Richa Chadda) and Mannu (Nikhil Dwivedi) through the jungles of Uttarakhand and eventually to a dhaba where Mannu hogs on Dal and Rice as though it is his last meal.  They are informed through very reliable news channels that everyone in the crash is presumed dead because magically, all bodies have disappeared.  WOW!!!

Babu and Mannu decide to spend the night at a construction site only to wake up and find out that it is next to a cop station and is about to be demolished.  The quick witted Babu decides to use a sheer orange saree that has been conveniently left at the site to make her way out while Mannu decides that a 30 foot jump is in order.  Babu’s slutty saree wasn’t sufficient to spice things up you see.

But wait, the spice is not over.  The predictable “I love you” will arrive over time but before that our lead couple decide to have their own version of the La Tomatina in a goods train.  Yes!!! Sex in a goods train on tomatoes my friends!!! This had to be the highest point in the movie.  To show that the couple is unbiased, the director ensures that they do their thing in bank locker rooms (during a robbery) and in car dump yards as well.  What creativity I say!!!

If the story – a confused mishmash between Bonnie & Clyde and Ishaqzaade – doesn’t make you tear your hair apart, Rana (Damandeep Singh) will definitely succeed.  The Jaat wrestler decides to become a drug dealer because he was caught doping in competitive wrestling.  Awesome!!!! Screw the system I say!!!

No one in the cast can get worse than this in terms of their attempt to act.  Damandeep has to be the worst but Nikhil Dwivedi is not too far behind.  And Richa Chaddha obviously is in a financial mess or in love with someone associated with the film to have not walked out mid-way.  The lesser said about the technical aspects, the better.  1 on 10 for the sex on tomatoes!!! If only it wasn’t so badly edited.

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