Walking with Dinosaurs 3D

So my good friend and soon to be collaborator Srinath Bharadwaj posted his views on Walking With Dinosaurs a little over 12 hours back and I threw back my head to say, “He’s a new kid.  He is obviously over excited about a Dinosaur movie.  It will be yet another dinosaur tale with all sorts of corny puns that leave you a tad exasperated but with good effects”.  In fact I had already written my summary line on that thought.

Kalyana Samayal Saadham (Wedding Feast) (Tamil)

If I remember correctly, the last Tamil movie I reviewed was also coincidentally the first movie on this blog.  It was called Ravanan (Ravan in Hindi starring AB Jr.).  It was one that I enjoyed quite a bit.  Sadly, it took an alignment of my schedules to accommodate another movie to watch my 2^nd Tamil movie in over 3 years – on the big screen that is.  Mental note made – should watch more Tamil movies in 2014.

Mahabharat (Animation) (2013) (Hindi)

The trailer starts with the predictable, “Yada Yada hi Dharmasya….” (for translation, visit - http://www.asitis.com/4/7.html).  That and the really bad quality of animation visible on the trailers prepared me for pretty much the worst.  The fact ironically remains that India will be the largest exporter of animation in the world (citation needed) but will not spend money in making a quality animation movie.

Oldboy (2013) (English)

Oldboy started in 1996 as a Manga written by Garon Tsuchiya and illustrated by Nobuaki Minegishi.  There were 8 volumes released over 2 years.  South Korean filmmaker Park Chan Wook made this into a trilogy that I am desperate to get my hands on - Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002), Oldboy (2003), and Sympathy for Lady Vengeance (2005) – Themes of Revenge, Violence and Salvation respectively.

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

Several factors have contributed to this extremely later review of The Hobbit – The Desolation of Smaug.  Firstly, I saw the movie on a Sunday (15^th December 2013) as against the Thursday (12^th December 2013) preview that was organized @ PVR Juhu – Now that was on principle because it is nothing less than rank insulting to watch The Hobbit at any other screen but for an IMAX one.

Dhoom 3

I left home this morning around 8:35 am for an 8:30 am show - you see PVR Cinemas usually plays upto 17 minutes of advertisements into the show time. So an 8:30 show will usually start @ 8:47. And if it is a Yash Raj film (or any big banner one for that matter), it would not have started before 8:55. But more importantly, I had Blackie and Whitey (the dogs in my building) looking @ me eagerly, as if to say, "what's the point of you going for a Dhoom movie. Spend time with us. It may be more exciting".

Jackpot (Hindi) (2013)

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Club 60

What is this fascination that Bollywood has suddenly got into with farting? And why would you make a man who is playing a 60+ year old fart ad nauseum ad inifinitum? And then, you make him wave his tennis racquet behind himself in an attempt to “clear the air”.  That is followed by a sheepish grin and an apologetic smile to his tennis partner.  That apology should instead be directed to the audience who has had enough of people farting on screen!!!!

R... Rajkumar

I have always been a fan of Prabhu Dheva's work primarily because he is committed to the genre of masala movies. Committed to the extent that he has chosen to do high quality work in this field. I was amongst the few who really liked the way Rowdy Rathod was executed. The attention to detail, the consistency of script, keeping it larger than life and yet very grounded, usage of right doses of good quality humour - all hallmarks of a good PD movie.

Hunger Games : Catching Fire

Apparently Gary Ross (Director of Hunger Games) turned down the opportunity of directing the sequels.  After approaching 8 more directors including the likes of Alfonso Cuarón (Gravity) and Joe Cornish (Star Trek 3), the opportunity landed on Francis Lawrence’s table who has then proceeded to give us a rendition that tempts me to ask him to remake Hunger Games 1.

Delivery Man

So it has finally happened!!!! Hollywood has released a movie after a Bollywood movie with the same story.  And that’s what most people will be thinking of after watching Delivery Man or even reading the reviews.  To them, I would like to say that we should not get too far ahead of ourselves before investigating all the facts.  A good piece of advise that a wise man had given a long time back I am sure.

Frozen (Animation 2013)

Monster’s University (Pixar), Epic (TCF), Turbo (Dreamworks), Planes (DisneyToon) and we have our 5^th nomination from the year for next year’s Academy Awards in the category – Feature Film (Animated).  MU and Epic need not feel worried about their place in the nominations since there is nothing else due this year.  Unless of course the Academy decides to pick only 3 instead.

Singh Saab The Great

The Anil Sharma-Sunny Deol association started with Gadar – Ek Prem Katha, over 10 years back.  2 movies (Apne – 2007 with the entire family) later they have come together yet again to give us a Punjabi-Hindi Sunny Paaji potboiler that has upgraded the Dhhai kilo ka haath to a Saade Teen kilo ka haath (2.5 kg hand to a 3.5 kg hand – in a crude translation).  They follow it up by calling it a 1.25 crore (125 million) strong hand with a reference to our burgeoning population. Corny reference in a totally corny movie.

Bullett Raja

Tigmanshu Dhulia is associated with hard hitting intense movies that have really solid dialogues and more importantly a really solid story.  Bullett Raja ticks most of the boxes but at the end of the day it is nothing we haven’t seen before.  The narration, the overall feel of the story, the performances and even the music had “seen that” written all over it from frame 1 (technically frame 1 + 10 mins coz I came in late) to finish.

Gori Tere Pyaar Mein!

Half of the Gori Tere Pyaar Mein!’s battle against me was already lost when I realized a couple of minutes into the movie that it has been set significantly in THE VILLAGE.  Now, now people, don’t get me wrong.  I have nothing against villages.  But I have a lot against one particular village.  For those who know me, this particular village is also known as – BENGALURU.  I call it the largest village in the world.

The Shining

The Shining was one of Kubrick’s last movies.  To be precise, it was 3^rd to last.  After The Shining, Kubrick made Full Metal Jacket and Eyes Wide Shut.  By then, Kubrick had dabbled with all sorts of genres – Thriller (The Killing), War (Fear & Desire), Dark Comedy (Dr. Strangelove), SciFi (2001) – you name it.  The only one conspicuously missing was Horror.  And what a movie The Shining turned out to be.

Last Vegas

When you have Michael Douglas, Morgan Freeman, Kevin Kline and Robert DeNiro together, you know that you have to make a beeline to the nearest screen that is showing the movie.  Now this is a guaranteed formula for success because you know that whatever is written in the script, these guys will ensure that it doesn’t look bad even if the scriptwriter has tried is best to make it look horrible.

Luckily for us, Dan Fogelman (Cars, Cars 2, Tangled, Bolt) is a good scriptwriter.  He maintains his style that you may have seen in feature films (not animated) like Crazy Stupid Love.  So we have funny situations that are backed with a flavor of slapstick but for some reason, seem better than just tasteless one liners.  So now all John Turtletaub had to do was get the casting right and let the actors do their thing.

Billy (Michael Douglas), Paddy (Robert De Niro), Archie (Morgan Freeman) and Sam (Kevin Kline) are best of buddies since they were 6 years old somewhere in the 50s.  Now, 58 years later, Paddy is mourning the loss of his childhood sweetheart and wife.  Archie is divorced and struggling with a bad heart and is under house arrest.  Sam is totally in love with his wife of 40 years but has several replaced bones in his body.

Billy is a successful business man of sorts who has stayed single all these years.  He is nearly 70 and decides that the best time to get hitched is now.  So at a good friend’s funeral, he is giving a eulogy and suddenly decides to deviate from that and propose to his girlfriend.  The problem – Lisa (Bre Blair) is old enough to be his daughter – maybe even his granddaughter (I know I am stretching it).

The four friends decide to gang up for old time’s sake by giving a bachelor party to Billy.  And therefore the movie is titled on a thought that it could well be their Last party ever.  Ergo – Las(t) Vegas.  Corny as it may seem, that is what you are also in for in the movie. Don’t walk in expecting some stunning one liners that you will remember for the rest of your life.

Walk in expecting moments that you could associate with old men having a blast would do.  So you have Archie who gets lucky at the blackjack table and converts $15K to $100K+.  Their greatest party follows.  With the best suite in the house, pool parties galore, alcohol that is flowing all over the place – all building towards a concoction that is almost like Hangover meeting The Bucket List.

Last Vegas is a must watch for fans of these 4 brilliant actors of our time.  Go with an open mind.  Watch like it is your last movie and I can bet that you will enjoy it.  It isn’t the best work from these four by a country mile.  But it will bring a smile to your faces.  6 on 10 is my verdict.  Make it a part of your weekend.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3383666713/?ref_=tt_ov_vi

Machete Kills

If a movie makes it to an International Film Festival, then there has to be something of at least academic interest in it.  Right? Machete Kills was obviously put into the Mumbai International Film Festival with that intent in mind.  But it turned out to be an absolutely brilliant entertainer from Frame 1.

Machete

Before you start reading this review, you have to first go through this link to understand the entire genesis of the Machete series.  This is a 10 minute video of forthcoming attractions that appeared in Quentin Tarantino’s controversial movie called Grindhouse in 2007 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luFC1jxmq9c.  Have a dekko.

Rajjo

So Vishwas Patil is a debutante director.  Yet another one.  Sigh.  But 2 things make it worse.  The photograph of Shri Vishwas Patil doesn’t indicated in any manner that he is a day younger than 40.  And so the question pops up – has he directed, say Marathi cinema and this is a first in Bollywood? Which brings us to the 2^nd thing that makes it worse – here is yet another director who believes he can dish out anything and get away with it.

Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram Leela

Extravagant. Lavish. Profuse. Gargantuan. Giant. Excessive. Vivid. Rich. Intense. Passionate. Erotic. Sensual. Sinister. Scheming. Blatant. Luxurious. Romantic. Foolish. Stupid. Tragic. Brilliant. Beautiful. Bright. Radiant. Lustrous. Lambent. Splendour. Flagrant. Bold. Dramatic. Stretched. Exciting. Busy. Sharp. Inspired. Massive. Magical. Emotional. Amazing. Superb.

Insidious – Chapter 2

I usually make it a point to see an earlier part in case I haven’t when the sequel releases.  Insidious Chapter 2 is actually more of a logical extension form Insidious that finished with a clear indication of a possible 2^nd part.  Much like Chapter 2 finishes with “Oh My God”!!! Clearly an indication that Chapter 3 maybe around the corner.  Will it show the same levels of improvement that 2 did over 1? With James Wan clearly indicating that he doesn’t want to be involved with horror any more, I don’t know.

Insidious

Insidious – working or spreading in a hidden and usually injurious way.  Intended to entrap.  Beguiling but harmful. The quality of being designed to entrap.  Subtle and cumulative harmfulness (especially of a disease).  These are the definitions of the name of this horror flick that I dug out from various sources on the net.

Sooper Se Ooper

To Vir Das I would like to say this – Having been a stand-up comedian for the time that you have been, one would have guessed that you would understand the fine line between a really bad script and an acceptable comedy.  Why then would you justify your choice of actually doing a movie that was as bad a script that it could have been.

Mickey Virus

For the rest of the week, I will be catching up with reviews that are horribly delayed thanks to a really tough 3 weeks.  But now that I have the time, we will have a minor flurry of them starting with a decent movie called Mickey Virus that I had the opportunity to catch up with on my way back from Pilani in the capital a couple of weeks back.

Huff! - It's Too Much

There is a dialogue in the trailer of Huff! - It's Too Much that goes something like this, “Agar mujhe girna hi hai toh mein pyaar mein kyun giroon? Chocolate mein kyun nahin”? (If I have to fall, why should I fall in love? Why not into Chocolate?).  Unfortunately for me, I saw the trailer after I had booked my tickets for the show.  I had a choice, mind you, to not go for the show but my curiosity got the better of me.

Free Birds

And after all kinds of animals have been utilized and probably even done to death, it had to be the turn of the humble Turkey (the bird) to be part of an animation.  And with Thanksgiving somewhere in the near future (28^th November 2013 in the US) and in the not so distant past (14^th October 2013 in Canada), it was an opportune time to release a Turkey animation movie.

Thor : The Dark World

In my review of Thor (http://kartikr.blogspot.in/2011/05/thor.html), around 2.5 years back, I had gushed and gushed and if that wasn’t sufficient, gushed even more about my love for Natalie Portman.  I must say that she still makes me go weak in my legs but the “love” has moved on.  Sorry Natalie – I couldn’t get myself to wait for you indefinitely ;).

Satya 2

This was my write up about The Attacks of 26/11 http://kartikr.blogspot.in/2013/03/the-attacks-of-2611.html.  Notice the part where I state, “But of late, RGV's intense movies are restricted to those to study the History of Cinema. With little or no production value”.  Unfortunately with Satya 2, RGV breaks new ground.  He gives you a masterpiece that will be used in film schools for a long time to come.

Krrish 3

Let me be honest at the very outset. I walked into Krish 3 expecting a disaster. In fact I was hoping that it would be a disaster. So much that I am beginning to believe in that dialogue from Om Shanti Om, "agar kisi cheez ko dil se chaho toh poori kayanat usse tumse milani ki koshish mein lag jaati hai" (if u sincerely wish for something then the universe conspires to ensure that you get it).

Fandry

My year started with a bang thanks to a wonderful piece of Marathi Cinema.  It then went onto a couple of good pieces of work and then kind of petered out.  Despite that, I did believe that the buzz that went around about Marathi Cinema having come of age was kind of true.  Fandry only helped me seal that notion.  Marathi cinema has DEFINITELY & FIRMLY come of age.

Shahid

Firstly, the movie is called SHAAHID (like Afridi – for lack of any other comparison) not SHAHEED (as in martyr).  Just to ensure that there is no confusion on the pronunciation.  Shahid is based on the life and times of one Shahid Azmi (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shahid_Azmi) – a human rights lawyer who defended several people wrongfully accused of terrorism or related activities.

Escape Plan

Now tell me the truth.  How many of you have been desperately waiting for Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger sharing a significant amount of screen time together.  Not just an excuse with a corny dialogue thrown in (read Expendables) but one where these two cult figures have major lead roles.  So much that the Tamil remake is being called “Kedi Rambo Killaadi Arnold” – I couldn’t stop laughing!!!

BOSS

Anthony D’Souza kaun hai (Who is Anthony D'Souza?)? Remember a Bollywood movie with Kylie Minogue (all the others in the cast were imminently forgettable) called Blue? The one in which she croons – I wanna Chiggy Wiggy With You.  Shri D’Souza was the director.  If he keeps up this way, the question will change to “Anthony D’Souza kaun thha” (Who was Anthony D'Souza?)?

Captain Phillips

If Tom Hanks joins Daniel Day Lewis as the only other man to have won 3 Academy Awards as a Best Actor then it would be primarily because of his performance in the last 5 minutes as Captain Phillips.  How would you play a scene where you have little or no bodily damage but are in shock / panic?  This is exactly the kind of material that is going to be used at cinema schools where acting is a course.

Baat Ban Gayi

Sayed Asif Jah (the writer), Shuja Ali (the director) & Akshay Singh (one actor) have come together to make an attempt at a story that leaves you gasping for breath.  The less tolerant ones would make their way out of the hall to catch some fresh air frequently.  The even less tolerant ones would walk out in the first few minutes.  Such is the absence of anything that resembles decent cinema in Baat Ban Gayi.

War Chhod Na Yaar

How many times have we wondered about the true story of the supposed skirmishes at the border to the west. I'm sure most of us have thought about the political motivation behind the news reports that we keep hearing. Quite certainly, we have also thought of the involvement of entities other than our favourite neighbour in the larger scheme of things.  War Chhod Na Yaar is a satire on all of these and a little bit more.

Gravity

How many screenplays do you know of that are written by a father and son team? If anyone out there knows the answer, do let me know.  My research shows that Alfonso and Jonás Cuarón have achieved a first of its kind.  Whats more, they could not have a better job.  Although the rest of the world seems to be panning the script, I thought, it was well written and effective (but then I am just a lowly amateur).

About Time

Richard Curtis is the writer and director of 2 other movies including one of the best RomComs of all time – LOVE ACTUALLY. Richard Curtis has also written FOUR WEDDINGS AND A FUNERAL, NOTTING HILL AND THE MR. BEAN SERIES.  Quite a stark difference between 2 genres of cinema / series right? But About Time is right where Richard Curtis is great at.  RomComs.

Fire in The Blood

How much do you know about the Pharmaceutical business? Other than the fact that it is by far THE most profitable business in the world? It has a whole lot of Medical Representatives who go door to door in not the most attractive job in the world.  Other than some big names like Glaxo or Pfizer or Cipla.  Not much I am guessing.

Diana

The British press has panned Diana with some of the choicest of words.  But then again, one can expect this kind of panning from the Brits because they are usually never satisfied with a product especially if it is a Biopic about someone British.  And if directed by someone German then all hell apparently breaks loose as we have seen here.

Runner, Runner

And the eternal debate that I have had in my world continues – What is better? Ben Affleck the actor or Ben Affleck the director.  I must say that as of now, the latter is firmly entrenched as preferred option.  But with Runner, Runner, in what is probably his first negative role, he takes a small step towards scoring a few points with the former.

Although Ivan Block (Affleck) has much lesser screen time than he could have been given, Affleck does leave an impression that this negative thing may be just right up his alley.  There are moments that Affleck overshadows Timberlake albeit few of them. So there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Richie Furst (Timberlake) is an affiliate (business partner) for an offshore online gambling company. His role is to recruit as many people as he can into the habit.  Why is he doing it? Because he has worked a few years before Wall Street tanked and left him flat broke.  Because of his previous income statements, he cannot get a scholarship to Princeton despite having the brains for it.

Now there is a small glitch in this entire operation.  You cannot be promoting gambling on campus right? Also, when Furst loses all his money to an apparent software glitch, he takes the ballsy way out.  He travels to Costa Rica to confront Block and tell him about the glitch.  Block is impressed and offers him a multi-million dollar job.  Princeton obviously goes out of the window.

The good part about Runner, Runner is that it is an extremely fast paced movie.  And yet, it isn’t the most frenetic movie that you would have seen.  Brad Furman (Lincoln Lawyer) sets a good solid pace right upfront and continues with the same pace all through.  It felt really good when you look at your watch and find out that you are already an hour and 15 mins into the movie when you thought it was about 35-40 minutes.

But on most other counts, the story and narration is just about average.  Timberlake is good and I believe that he is a far better actor than a singer.  A good actor at that.  Gemma Arterton on the other hand can make no further progress than being good looking furniture and even there the freckles show.  There isn’t much of a supporting cast to speak about.

Overall, Runner, Runner, is a fun movie to watch but do you need to spend hard earned movie for the big screen.  I would guess not.  Watchable but wait for it to come onto Tata Sky or rent out a DVD or download or do whatever it is that you guys do.  6 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi2239211801/?ref_=tt_ov_vi

Besharam

Lets start with a mathematics class to begin with.  Besharam released a few hours back in 3600 screens across India (PVR Mulund has 6 out of which 5 are playing between 6 to 7 shows of Besharam).  Average ticket prices across India Rs.200 per show.  Average seating capacity in a theatre is 250.  So how much can Besharam generate in 1 housefull show in each of the 3600 screens – Rs. 18 crores ($3 million) is the answer you are looking for. 

Warning 3D

The only person who could possibly answer a basic question is Gurmmeet Singh, the director of the movie.  Why was the movie called Warning? Who warned whom? Was someone supposed to warn someone else? Was I supposed to hear some sort of warning?  There was some red board with the word on it somewhere during the movie.  But other than that why not call it what it was – A SHIPWRECK!!!

Prague (Hindi 2013)

There are various ways to tell a story and it is upto the director to decide which way a story is going to be narrated.  Should I keep it simple so that the junta (general public) can understand it and appeal to the masses? Or should I make it into a complicated one that has so many layers that the audience is left to decipher the story.  Ashish R Shukla chooses the latter approach for his first full length feature.

Raqt - Ek Rishta

One reason I love blogging / writing is that it gives me an opportunity to research and thereby learn quite a bit.  Before I started writing about this particular movie, I decided to run a google search for the word R A Q T.  If you search for the meaning in Urdu then you get 2 possible options – pathetic and deplorable.  Both words can be used easily to describe the movie in question.

Local Kung Fu (Assamese)

I am a huge fan of first time directors.  Especially those who buck the system to follow their dreams.  They may stumble and stutter and fall all over themselves in an attempt to prove a point or 2 to those who called them stupid.  I am quite certain Kenny Basumatary faced the brick bats when he dropped out of IIT Delhi (yep. U heard those three alphabets right) to follow his dream – cinema. Read more about Kenny here - http://www.westlandbooks.in/author_detail.php?author_id=320

Gambit (2012)

Gambit released in the UK towards the end of 2012.  Apparently the makers didn’t think it worthwhile to release it in the US at all.  It released in India tomorrow (27^th September 2013) nearly 1 year after its UK release.  The US date is not yet fixed.  Now why would they keep an entertaining movie like Gambit away from the screens when they are fine with unleashing a whole load of other crap on us? Beats me.

Prisoners

Apparently Canada is looking forward to that annual ceremony held by AMPAS (Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences) more than anyone else.  The person responsible for this is one Denis Villeneuve.  His attempts to date haven’t been under a banner as big as that for Prisoners.  However, he has been much lauded over the years both within and outside Canada.

Elysium

District 9 was one of THE most critically acclaimed motion pictures of 2009.  It received 4 nominations including Best Motion Picture at the Academy Awards in 2010.  Why are we taking a few lines to mention District 9? Because, South African director Neill Blomkamp is back with yet another science fiction movie that may not get the best of points for story but will definitely make a mark on visual effects & editing.

Satyanweshi (Bengali)

Rituparno Ghosh was one of India’s finest film makers as per many.  To me, he was someone who made cinema that was too slow for my comfort.  Whether it was the adaptation of the The Gift of the Magi (Raincoat) or that of one of Rabindranath Tagore’s novels (Noukadubi / Kashmakash), Rituparno Ghosh ensured that the pace was never compromised – if you know what I mean.

Dabba (The Lunchbox)

Some of the most difficult reviews to write are the ones where you have just seen a movie that is so good that you cannot come to terms with its perfection.  So you get caught in the vicious trap of being on a witch hunt.  That my friends, is exactly what I got drawn into with Dabba aka The Lunch Box (for international audiences).

Phata Poster Nikhla Hero

With no offence meant to anyone or any fans or the person in question itself, the only time Shahid Kapoor can be and actor (excluding Kaminey) or at least pretend to be one is when he is playing and actor in a movie. Or should I say playing a wannabe actor whose mother, Savitri (Padmini Kolhapure) actually wants him to be a police officer - and an honest one at that. Now if that doesn't get you laughing then nothing else in Phata Poster Nikla Hero will get you to laugh.

Alik Sukh (Bengali)

The essence of Alik Sukh is captured in the title for those who are familiar with the language.  For the others (like this writer) you would need google.  Alik Sukh translates into “unreal happiness” – a concept that most of us would be familiar with, given the sedentary and work driven lifestyle that all of us lead.  The message is pointed at most of us to take a long hard look at whether we are “truly” happy or it is all just an illusion.

Malavita (The Family)

Acclaimed director Luc Besson directs Robert De Niro & Michelle Pfieffer in their first movie together - sharing screen space that is (they have acted in the same movie twice before this - Stardust and New Year's Eve - but never shared screen space). The combination of these 3 names, who otherwise have nothing to prove, unfortunately falls a bit short of my expectations. But then, maybe my expectations were ill placed to begin with.

2 Guns

It has been a while since we have seen a movie that has some mindless shooting (some accurate shooting as well) in a climax that involves blowing up $43.125 million. Hey wait a minute. We have not seen any movie that involves blowing up that kind of money. But we have seen movies that have mindless shooting towards the end in the hope that the bullets find some target or the other. Sorry for the spoiler to begin with but that to me was the high point of 2 Guns.

Rush (English 2013)

It will be quite easy to list down the things that Ron Howard did wrong with RUSH.  A full day of research after being swept away by RUSH, I could find 5 mistakes. Nothing more

1. An F1 Car doesn’t fly over a hill when it is trying to catch up especially when it is a driver as safe as Niki Lauda
2. Not sure if Hunt beat up a reporter for asking Lauda a question about his wife accepting him after half his face had burnt off
3. Nürburgring was not known as the Graveyard.  It was called Green Hell.
4. Howard has chosen not to cover the aspect that Hunt & Lauda were friends who actually stayed together when in London.
5. The penalty to Hunt for the Brands Hatch race resulting in disqualification wasn’t covered.  This was actually a very pivotal point in the season.

Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters

I started blogging a few months after the first installment of this very average adult fantasy series.  Percy Jackson and The Lightning Thief was the first in the series by Rick Riordian that was a much awarded book but an average movie.  I am told by reliable sources that the book is readable.

Grown Ups 2

This was my review for Grown Ups that released over 3 years back, almost to the date

http://kartikr.blogspot.in/2010/08/grown-ups.html.  My review for Grown Ups 2 is going to have very little different to offer because it is yet again – an Adam Sandler – Denis Dugan combination that gives you nothing different from any of their previous attempts.

JohnDay

The posters claim, “An Edge of the seat thriller from the makers of A Wednesday”.  The similarity with A Wednesday unfortunately ends with the fact that Naseeruddin Shah was part of both movies.  The premise and story of JohnDay is significantly different from that of A Wednesday.

Grand Masti

Let me starts with 10 vignettes from Indra Kumar’s latest blockbuster where the only thing cornier than the name is the movie itself. I refuse to translate them because of the trauma I will be causing my readers who are unaware of Hindi.  I cannot have their blood on my hands. Here goes

1. Nirodh ka Virodh
2. Pussy kahaan ghusi
3. Pichwada hai kya Vijayawada
4. Kahin iska joke hamein thok na de
5. Get cozy in the jacuzzi
6. Pocket mein koi rocket hai
7. Chooha mota hai par khali tera lota hai
8. Only one thing can save us from maran – Vastraharan
9. Is se pehle tumhari choote grip, we have to strip
10. Its not the spring boys. Its the thing.

You are free to interpret the context in which these lines were introduced into the script.  Grand Masti is nothing but an attempt to mash up all editions of American Pie upto the last one – American Reunion (2012).  There is little that can be called original or not slapstick.

But to be fair - let us look at what was great about the movie? It wasn’t an unnecessarily long movie – unless you consider that the movie itself was not required and could have been done away with – it finishes in under 2 hours (2.5 including the intervals).  And the other good part was that no one associated with the movie made any bones about what it is before the release – we were promised a senseless sex comedy and that’s what we got.

No matter what I say, the audience will have its final say and in this case I am reminded of a tweet from Mihir Fadnavis, “Every time someone tells me Shuddh Desi Romance is a 'boring' film I'm convinced that we deserve films like Zanjeer only. Bas goo hi khao”. (Apologies for not seeking permission Mihir – but the tweet was too apt for GM as well). I am going to avoid ripping GM to shreds because it will not matter.

The audience was not just laughing at the below standard humour.  They were jumping in their seats while splitting their sides.  I can guarantee that I was the only person who had a poker faced expression.  The only thing scarier than Grand Masti – and I mean “SCARIER” – was the trailer of WARNING before the movie. No comments on the movie or any aspect related to it from my side.  2 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L4qT6-fNzQ

Zanjeer

I am a fan of remakes and movies that are inspired from an original script.  My only expectation is that the guys who remake it add value to it and not degrade the good work done by someone – in this case, a monumental piece of work that threw in the concept of “The Angry Young Man” into Bollywood.  A piece of work that has just been smashed to smithereens by a team that obviously doesn’t understand the value of Zanjeer (1973).

Shuddh Desi Romance

They say experience teaches a man better than anything or anyone else.  Not that you need to commit your own mistakes to learn from – you can as well learn from other people’s mistakes.  I have no clue to where Maneesh Sharma got his sum total of learning.  Whether it was from his solid effort with Band Baaja Baraat or his just about par effort of Ishaqzaade.  Either ways, he seems to have learnt.  And learnt well.

When Hari Got Married

This is going to be a very difficult one to write.  While I love this genre of cinema i.e. The Documentary, writing about the story can be completed in one line, in this case – The story of the wedding of a Taxi Driver in a village of Himachal Pradesh.  Well, I have to write more, so I am going to give it a shot and hope that it comes out as a well written article and not a meek attempt.

The Frozen Ground

The posters claimed with a lot of conviction that this is the best serial killer movie since Se7en.  A wise man once said, “Never judge a movie by its poster” – I am quite certain he was a victim of many an experience like The Frozen Ground.  I was looking forward to a serial killer movie that would blow my pants off for a really long time.  But it will take much more than TFG to displace the likes of Se7en.

We're the Millers

When you think of the comedy genre of late, you would come up with a word that is used to describe activities that may exceed boundaries of common sense.  In case you are still wondering about what I am talking about, the word would be "slapstick".  And that is exactly what I expected from “We’re The Millers” when I walked in to the hall.  Surprisingly, I was in for much better than what I expected.

The Light: Swami Vivekananda

Utpal Sinha is a newbie director.  There is nothing that I could find about him on the web.  Whether it was the case before “The Light : Swami Vivekanand” or after the movie is worth looking into.  It is quite possible that there are enough people incensed with Sinha’s attempt at glorifying one Narendranath Datta.  So bad was the movie that a group of hardcore followers decided to erase his existence from the web.

The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones

Judith Rumelt aka Cassandra Clare is best known for The Mortal Instruments Series of books that has been apparently very well received out west over the past 5-7 years.  But what does Cassandra Clare go through when the book goes onto the silver screen and the movie makers come to her with a dime a dozen changes.  I guess that’s a problem that most authors come up with and hence the term “True to the book”.

Satyagraha

It was only a matter of time before someone had to take inspiration from Anna Hazare for a movie.  If someone had told me that Prakash Jha would be that somebody, I would not have been the least bit surprised.  I have been a keen follower of Jha’s work and more importantly, I have been eagerly waiting for him to show the intensity and straight forwardness that he did with “Gangajal”.

Tasher Desh

Rabindranath Tagore’s Tasher Desh (Land of Cards) was a simple story of a land which is so rooted into silly rules that they refuse to see life as something that needs to be celebrated.  Tagore’s aim (and this is my interpretation) was to ask people to challenge the status quo both in their own lives and that of the population in general.  Something that people have written about for generations in a variety of ways.

Spiando Marina / The Smile of The Fox

If Marina Valdez (Debora Caprioglio) had any idea of the impact she was to make on a bunch of teenagers with raging hormones somewhere in South Maharashtra, she would have put in more heart and soul into the role.  The Smile of the Fox (Spiando Marina) is a B grade movie from over 20 years back that a lot of my batchmates saw with great relish when we were half as old or young as what we are today.

Once Upon Ay Time In Mumbai Dobaara!

When I first saw the trailer of “Once Upon Ay Time in Mumbai Dobaraa!”, the A was just A and not Ay.  There was no “!”.  It was “again” and not “Dobaraa”.  Surely there were some consultations held behind closed doors to make so many changes to the name.  A pity it didn’t work out too well.  They could have well saved the numerology fees.

Madras Café (Hindi 2013)

I think I had my typewriting class on the 22^nd May 1991 around 9 am.  I was eager to attend because I was struggling to get the hang of it.  But when I stepped out of home (and I hadn’t read the newspaper that morning) I was greeted by empty streets.  I walked all the way to the station only to be greeted by silence.  It was only about 20 minutes later when I got back home that I realized what had happened less than 12 hours back.

Those who were around at that time know what I am talking about.  Those who weren’t, can look into their history books because it was one of the darkest days in the history of this country.  I would have expected Shoojit Sircar (fresh off the success of Vicky Donor) to have done more justice to a man who was arguably the harbinger of change into this country.  Sadly, he turns it into yet another mockery.

A Major in the Indian Army, Vikram Singh (John Abraham) is roped in for a covert operation in Sri Lanka as part of the RAW.  His mission is to infiltrate the rebel army and cause a rift in the line of power so that the rebels can self destruct.  He lands up doing everything but that.  He also gets caught in the bargain and is saved, only to go back pretending as a news reporter – in Sircar’s world, all this is a walk in the park.

He also, happens to meet an international Indian journalist Maya Sahni (Nargis Fakhri) who is dressed like Maddy Bowen in Blood Diamond but shows a bit more cleavage through her maroon wife beater vest.  She also happens to speak only in English (Thank God!!!) but for some reason Vikram speaks to her in Hindi only.  There is no justification given for the same but as I said, it happens in Sircar’s world.

Of course, in Sircar's world, RAW Agents dress up in jazzy denim and speak in Hindi and don’t get caught in the bargain either.  In Sircar’s world, things of utmost importance cannot be spoken over the phone but can wait for 2 days when Maya will travel from London to Delhi.  In Sircar’s world, Tamil refugees coincidentally have developed a Malayalam accent.  Of course.  Cochin is closer than Chennai.

Horrible editing, disastrous work with the sound, dialogues that inspire no confidence and a script / story that is absolutely baseless ensure that Sircar’s follow up to Vicky Donor is just about short of a disaster.  To his credit, he at least pays attention to some details to recreate props from 1991 such as VHS Tapes, manual telephone exchanges, green screen computers and dot matrix printers.

But there is no other aspect that makes any sense.  Nothing is logical or sensibly arranged.  It was as if, “I have tried my hand at comedy, it worked.  So let me try my hand at a Political Espionage Drama revolving around the assassination of one of our most preferred Prime Ministers.  It should work.  No”?

No comments on the performances but I wasn’t expecting anything great.  John Abraham is sincere as always but this is as much as he can deliver.  Nargis Fakhri thankfully doesn’t have too much of screen time.  Siddhartha Basu & Piyush Pandey appear lost more often than not.  Disappointed, both with the effort and a wasted opportunity to tell a story that most of India would have been eager to know about.  4 on 10.

Watch the trailer on http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RA9EF75Xc-8

Planes

I am always a skeptic when it comes to a new director handling a big banner movie.  More from a perspective of hope.  Hope that the underdog doesn’t fail.  And if the movie is an animation one then a lot of you already know my sentiments.  It hasn’t been a great year for the genre till TURBO came along and blew our pants off.  Well, I would have expected nothing less than this response from Disney.

Kick Ass 2

3 years back we saw Nicholas Cage playing the role of what I can only describe as “civilian superhero”.  Big Daddy passed on and left the mantle of protecting the city with his daughter Hit Girl (Chloë Grace Moretz) and protégé (in a manner of speaking) – Kick Ass (Aaron Taylor-Johnson).  Well, the two have now gotten into their teens but the job of protecting the city has kind of taken a back seat.

Jobs

Steve Wozniak says that he was extremely disappointed to see the end product i.e. Jobs.  Now there are several different schools of thought that are on line but I for one seem to be more inclined towards Shri Wozniak’s assessment of the situation.  What he says for sure is that Ashton Kutcher could replicate the mannerisms very well.  On that point I am not sure whether I can agree or not.

Bajatey Raho

When you have Ranvir Shorey and Vinay Pathak in a movie, you can be reasonably sure that the acting department has been taken care of.  You would be right this time around as well.  This duo has been entertaining us for over a decade and with Bajatey Raho they continue their good work.  To make things better we have some other great actors as well who make the journey even more easy.

B. A. Pass

A bit of research on the net and you are informed through Wikipedia that B A Pass is classified as a “neo noir” movie.  Translated it means “New Black”.  Click on the link below to understand what this means - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neo_noir.  Some aspects would include a conflicted antihero, Nihilistic Moral systems, Low key Lighting, unusual camera placement and striking use of light and shadow.

Rabba Main Kya Karoon

There is a gentleman by the name of Amrit Sagar who is apparently a National Award winner for something to do with cinema in 1971.  I refuse to believe that he is the same person who has directed Rabba Main Kya Karoon.  There have been several gaffes at the National Awards for certain.  However, I am certain that the brains behind the awards could not have lost it to give anything to a director of Amrit’s caliber.

Zambezia

There is great Animation (Turbo) and there is good animation (Epic) and there is just about average animation.  Zambezia is unfortunately part of the last of the 3.  Just about average. Sometimes, I guess movie houses get it right by not releasing a movie in this part of the world.  But then, why go through the effort in the middle of year after the release? I wonder.

The Conjuring

I envy James Wan.  He is all of 36 years of age – maybe a few months older.  And he already has given the world quite a few successful movies.  To mention one, there is Saw which was a commercial success but I didn’t quite like it more because of the gore and not because it was badly made.  He has already signed up for Fast & Furious 7 and after watching The Conjuring, I think he will improve on the franchise (at lease I hope so).

R.I.P.D.

At first it was Tommy Lee Jones & Will Smith who took us through 3 movies where they save us all from the “Scum of the Earth”.  Apparently there are people out there who believe that despite the success of the franchise, there is space for yet another bunch of guys who can save the earth from aliens… or should I say, the Undead.  In this case, they are cornily called, “DEADDOES”.

Wolverine

For starters, this is not a prequel to X Men.  That part was covered by X Men Origins : Wolverine directed by Gavin Hood. It starred Live Schreiber and of course Hugh Jackman.  It is in fact based on a limited edition comic series by Chris Claremont and Frank Miller (300).

Chennai Express

Someday, I am going to give up wondering about the reasons for audiences laughing at attempted humour on screen when actually, the joke is on them.  I am only tempted even more to make it a subject of my thesis (whenever I get to it).  I was not just flummoxed but downright exasperated to see the reaction in the hall to Chennai Express. I hope the audience realizes someday that quality cinema is their right.

Ship of Theseus

Add another director to the list of those from this part of the world who have the capability of attaining fame globally.  Anand Gandhi.  To get a flavor of what Gandhi has done in the past, check out these 2 links here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVAokeqQuFM (part 1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gIYJePEnvUY (part 2)

Turbo

The Snail is fast

The Snail is fast

The Snail is fast, fast, fast, fast, fast
Just one of the songs created exclusively to promote Turbo the superfast snail

White House Down

There are bad movies and there are bad movies.  And if that is not sufficient then there are even more horrible movies.  What gets to your nerves is when otherwise excellent directors such as Roland Emmerich suddenly decide to tell you that you were wrong about them all this while.

Red 2

I just realized a few minutes ago that I haven’t published my review of Red.  I would have thought that I had seen the movie after I started putting down my thoughts in cyberspace but I guess it would have been a little before that.  Red was an action movie par excellence.  Standard espionage story but great dialogues and fabulous performances.

Issaq

Manish Tiwary’s previous movie was an offbeat one called Dil Dosti etc.  It was a decent flick.  Worth watching once.  What he got right there was the casting.  What he gets wrong out with Isaaq is one casting error that ensures that the entire movie goes downhill pretty much from frame one.  There is nothing that can save it from absolute deterioration once this person comes onto the screen – PRATEIK BABBAR.

Nasha

How many of us boys have had this fantasy in our school days that involved a sexy teacher? Anyone who would answer this question in the negative has to be a liar or has serious problems with you know what.  The bigger and more important question though is how many of those fantasies have actually turned into a reality or at least come close to it. Very few could probably claim that.

D-Day (Hindi) (2013)

Nikhil Advani’s rap sheet in Bollywood is not the most attractive to begin with.  Salaam E Ishq was too long, Chandni Chowk to China was horrible, Delhi Safari was an animation disaster.  He was tolerable in Patiala House.  But with D-Day he seems to have learnt the fine art of Bollywood cinema – doesn’t say too much about him though. Because it is still B Town.  Not H Town.

Ramaiya Vastavaiya

I wonder what gave me the impression that Ramaiya Vastavaiya was to be the debut film of Chiranjeevi’s son – Ram Charan.  But that was the remake of Zanjeer.  With Ramaiya Vastavaiya, we are definitely in for a tight contest for the most disastrous debut of 2013.  Within a few seconds of Ram (Girish Kumar) entering the movie, you know that the only way he could be present in a movie is if his father has put in the money.

The Heat (2013)

A lot was said about Paul Feig and his previous movie – Bridesmaids.  Most of the world was swooning over but this author was quite surprised and has always wondered why.  I really didn’t see any reason for an Academy Award nomination for screenplay.  But what Bridesmaids couldn’t expose, The Heat does quite convincingly.  Proves that the Paul Feig is currently average at best.

Hummingbird / Redemption (2013)

Run an imdb search on Hummingbird and you will not find the movie that I will be writing about over this page.  Apparently the movie was released earlier under the name – Redemption.  It will be well worth it to find out what prompted the change.  Unfortunately I could not find the bandwidth over the past few days to research this interesting bit of trivia.

Woh Kaun Thi (1964)

A few days back during my stint in hospital for my back problems, I had an opportunity to wake up in the morning to a movie on cable that I have not seen in a really long time.  Raj Khosla’s alleged adaptation of that Alfred Hitchcock super hit called Vertigo is anything but an adaptation.  Other than a few scenes that may be called as “inspired” there is very little or nothing similar to Vertigo.

Policegiri

Lets start off with some simple questions.  Did you enjoy Singam? The Ajay Devgn remake of the Tamil Super Hit of the same name? Did you wish through the movie that if only it was Sanjay Dutt playing the role of Ajay Devgn.  If you fall into the segment that has answered yes to both questions then you will love Policegiri like very few movies in the recent past.

Sixteen (2013) (Hindi)

“Sixteen is a tough place to be in.  High School, Hormones, Exams, Bullies.  I don’t want to go through that phase again” – Vikram, author of the Booker Prize nominated book – Sixteen.  Just one of the deep lines from the movie.  So deep that I almost drowned in it (notice the sarcasm).  Coincidentally, one of the few lines of the movie that I agreed with.

Pacific Rim

Lets begin by picking out what was right about Pacific Rim.  Quite a few things actually.  Loads of refreshing angles.  For one, The aliens have invaded all of earth and not just the United States of America.  In fact, the final show down of the movie happens off the coast of Hong Kong and not in Los Angeles or New York as the case is usually.

Ghanchakkar

Remember that guy from Khosla Ka Ghosla – Munjal? Khurana’s (Boman Irani) sidekick / Secretary.  The guy who does the dirty work for Khurana.  For those who aren’t aware of who played that character (and I am quite certain that most people in India wouldn’t know his name) it is a guy called Rajesh Sharma – one of the finest supporting actors in India currently.  This time around he plays Pandit.

Lootera

O Henry’s stories have been an inspiration for many a story on screen.  Closer to home, Raincoat (Aishwarya Rai, Ajay Devgn) was an adaptation of “Gift of the Magi”.  Only a matter of time before another one was used as inspiration.  This time around it is the turn of “The Last Leaf”.  Vikramaditya Motwane pays homage to O Henry with his adaptation of this classic short – with a little bit of Indian spice thrown in for taste.

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag

If there was any doubt about whether Rakeysh Omprakash Mehra’s family had a long-standing feud with that of Milkha Singh then it cannot be more obvious.  I say this because of the several methods available for revenge, ROM has resorted to the one that is cheapest, meanest and downright scumbaggish.  He has successfully destroyed the legacy of who “was” probably India’s best athlete to date.

The Five-Year Engagement

The posters and trailers of The Five-Year Engagement were all over the place for a while early last year.  The trailers seemed intriguing enough and so did the posters.  But if my memory serves me right, 5 Year Engagement never saw the light of day in this country.  I have always wondered why.

World War Z

I am going to start with a very different observation this time around.  The importance that our sovereign socialist republic has gained over this century cannot be more magnified.  A forced but very obvious integration in a $200 million movie is proof enough.  Gerry Lane (Brad Pitt) has to consider a stop-over in India to evaluate whether the source of the latest deadly virus has some roots in India.

Raanjhanaa

I must admit that my initial thoughts about Raanjhanaa were not the most positive.  That Dhanush was part of the movie was one of the prime reasons.  I really didn’t see the reason for picking up a one song wonder as a lead actor.  I wasn’t aware that he was a National Award Winner (Aadukalam – 2011).  Needless to say, the 30 year old, Venkatesh Prabhu Kasthuri Raja aka Dhanush has made most critics (including this amateur one) eat humble pie.

Enemmy (Law and Disorder)

A gangster's truck load of cash is intercepted by just 2 people in black masks.  So you have one peeved gangster– Mukhtar (Zakir Hussain). His crony and associated family bite the dust. He launches a full scale offensive on all gangs. The cops led by Ekalvya Karmarkar (Suniel Shetty) have to intervene and lock him up. Ekalavya has Eric Colaco (Johnny Lever), Madhav Sinha (Mahaakshay) and Naeem Shaikh (Kay Kay Menon) by his side.

Shortcut Romeo

Consider a husband who has a 13000 crore business believes in meditating in front of a wall size picture of a bearded swami baba. After that, he doesn't quite bother about his sex-starved wife - one that is described by our hero Suraj (Neil Nitin Mukesh) as Makkan jaisi jawaani (crudely translated as sizzling hot). Usually the result is infidelity of some kinds. No?

Monster's University

Just the other day, I was lamenting about how 2013 has been a watershed – pretty much – for the animation segment.  There were hardly any good movies that were released to date.  And one could have only hoped through the trailers that Tarzan was good.  But coming up before Tarzan to put a smile on my face – Monsters University!!!

A Little Bit of Heaven

Star World seems to be on a Kate Hudson spree for their segment called Movie Magic.  Sometime back it was Fools Gold.  The week before last we saw that RomCom titled Something Borrowed.  And last week it was this Romance / RomCom movie called A Little Bit of Heaven.

Ankur Arora Murder Case

It isn’t for no reason that people say of those who pass away that they have gone to a better place.  If a certain Sidney Lumet was alive today he would have been pushed to the brink of suicide.  But that would definitely not prevent him from rolling in his grave and desperately wanting to get out and murder Suhail Tatari.

Something Borrowed

Something Borrowed released a couple of years back and lasted for just a week at the cinemas.  I was quite eager to watch it because it has one of my favourite RomCom actresses – Ginnifer Goodwin (He's Just Not That Into You / Once Upon a Time).  So I wasn’t about to let the opportunity pass up when I played on Star World last weekend (if I remember it right).

Fukrey

Dilip Singh aka Choocha (Varun Sharma) & Vikas Gulati aka Hunny (Pulkit Sharma) are fraands (read friends) for life.  They have grown up together and have failed their senior high school exams for the past 2 years.  They are well on course to flunking again.  Laali (Manjot Singh) is desperate to get a transfer into a college where his childhood love Shalu is studying and is quickly eliminating Laali from her life.

Lakeer Ke Fakeer

Let us look at the ironies involved in this low budget movie that released on Friday, 14^th June 2013.  It has been produced by a company that calls itself “Garbage Productions” – Does that entitle you to actually put out stuff that is the closest thing to Garbage on the silver screen?

Man of Steel

"In my world it is not an "S". It is a symbol of hope" – Kal El (Henry Cavill) to Lois Lane (Amy Adams). And from this day on, it will stay as hope for everyone. But the timeless symbol will never cease to mean what it has meant to billions across the world for 74 years to date. It will always remain the symbol for - SUPERMAN. Zack Snyder has only added more reason to the symbol and I doff my hat to him.

The Hangover 3

At the outset, I would like to apologise for this delayed review of a movie that released 2 weeks back.  A friend asked me if it was similar to Hangover 2 and whether he should watch it.  I hadn’t seen HO2 and so decided that I would take this opportunity to watch HO1, 2 and 3 and then review all 3 together.

The Hangover 2

The thing about a hugely successful movie is that from a commercial perspective, a sequel is in order.  The ingredients of a successful sequel – and you are well aware of my thoughts on that – include the same director and largely the same cast.  That condition definitely checks all boxes for Hangover 2.

The Hangover

I am quite sure that a lot and more has been written about what is considered by many as probably the best comedy movie made in the past decade – Circa 2000-09.  I watched Hangover once again a few days back because I had to check it out before reviewing one of the worst movies in a long time – Hangover 3.  Just to be sure if I had my expectations ill placed or not.

A Time To Kill

One way to get a near perfect rendition of a book into a movie is to get the casting correct.  And most directors have a favourite casting director.  With Joel Schumacher it would be one Mali Finn.  Finn has most JS movies to his credit and other big names such as The Untouchables and Hot Shots to his credit.  He had also done The Client (John Grisham) with JS before this one.

The Verdict

The Verdict is the 1982 classic by one of Hollywood’s best directors – Sidney Lumet.  It was nominated for five Academy awards – Best Actor in a Leading Role (Paul Newman), Best Actor in a Supporting Role (James Mason), Best Director (Sidney Lumet), Best Picture and Best Screenplay Based on Material from Another Medium (David Mamet). Sadly it won none primarily because of Gandhi.

Now You See Me

The dictionary defines magic as the art of producing a desired effect or result through the use of incantation or various other techniques that presumably assure human control of supernatural agencies or the forces of nature. Now if that doesn’t confuse you then you have a tremendous command over the language.

After Earth

I think it is official now.  If there is a movie maker who is slower than a snail it has to be M Night Shyamalan.  With After Earth, Shyamalan has cleared any other challenge that one could have thrown his way.  He has made a slow Science Fiction movie.  I am sure the snails would love him for it – finally something that matches their pace!!!!

Yamla Pagla Deewana 2

Sangeeth Sivan takes over from Sameer Karnik, 2 years after the latter gave us a movie that was in terms of quality, nothing worth writing home about.  However, there were some moments attributed to the lead trio which ensured that the movie didn’t flop.  YPD2 is no different.

Cinderella 3D (Spanish)

I am not sure what Pascal Hérold’s past life was like.  The only thing I could find on imdb was that he also directed The True Story of Puss n Boots and it wasn’t something that could be called “critically acclaimed”.  Regretably, Hérold hasn’t progressed too much with Cinderella 3D.

Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani

5 minutes into Yeh Jawaani Hai Deewani, you see Mohini played by an obviously botox treated Madhuri Dixit (looking really hot despite the botox). What makes it even more sizzling is that at nearly 40 years of age, this woman can dance better that all of the extras. And as tells Ranbir Kapoor something to the extent of, "Abhi Ladke ho. Ladke aur mard meing fark hai". If you r an MD fan, you may have a heart attack (in the positive sense of the word).

Fast And Furious 6

Thank you god for ensuring that my weekend was not completely ruined.  Thank you god for creating a director like Justin Lin who genuinely believes in the concept of raising the bar every single time he gets behind that lens.  That, is the only success formula for a hugely successful franchise that continues to enthrall audiences across the world every time they decide to make another one.

Hum Hai Raahi Car Ke

Jyotin Goel used to be a director in Bollywood in the 80s and 90s.  I am not sure if you remember a movie called Inaam Dus Hazaar starring Sanju Baba, Meenakshi Seshadri and Amrish Puri.  If not, then maybe u may remember Zahreelay (1990) or Safari (1999) both starring Sanju Baba in the lead. If not, then you must go back and check out these classics from Bollywood.

Ishkq in Paris

She turned 38 earlier this year.  So she would have been say a little over 36 when she shot for the movie.  Not an age that one would expect leading ladies to look terribly old right? But all efforts by the make-up man to mask the strained look on her face fail miserably.  Much like the movie itself.  Ishkq in Paris is as disastrous as Preity Zinta looks in her home production.  Will no one produce a movie for her going forward?

I Don’t Love U

This review is due for over a week.  I saw I DON’T LOVE U last Saturday afternoon thanks to a conveniently timed show @ Fame Neelyog, Ghatkopar East.  Or should I say no thanks to them.  It was one of the most painful experiences in cinema in recent times.  Thankfully the rest of the weekend was uneventful.

The Great Gatsby

This one can be easily termed as a classic. And it shows under classics on Amazon.  I tried to download and speed-read but I guess there wasn’t enough time.  I was expecting The Great Gatsby to release only next week.  I guess I need to be a bit more cued in.  But I must say that, 10 minutes into the movie, I thought it was actually true to the book – because that is all I could read before walking into the movie.

Epic

Those familiar with my writing, would know that I have the softest of spots for this genre of cinema.  It takes a lot to make a quality animation movie.  And the least obvious aspect is probably the quality of animation.  I say that because in this day and age, with the amount of technology that one has access to, anyone can come up with animation of reasonable quality.

Aurangzeb

Aurangzeb was known for his resoluteness towards one goal and one goal only – that of taking the empire from his father.  He went to the extent of jailing his own father for no apparent reason other than greed for the throne.  That, is the apparent logic for this thriller based out of Gurgaon that shows the deep rooted nexus between politicians, gang lords (mafia) and cops.

The Reluctant Fundamentalist

Remember what I always say about reading the book before you watch the movie? Well this time around, turns out, it doesn’t matter.  Because the book is ever so slightly evolved and leaves a little too much to your imagination.  The movie on the other hand actually unravels the mystery of the book into a simpler, understandable version to us.

Gippi

“Everyone gets big.  Only a few grow up”.  If you think that there is any pun intended in this line that is part of the trailer, wait till you watch Gippi.  The movie starts off with a 14 year old girl who says, “Tere aur bhi bade ho gaye? Mere toh ab tak chhote chhote samose jaise hain” (Yours have grown bigger? Mine are still small like little samosas) – I am sure that you know what “yours and mine” mean.

Star Trek – Into Darkness

If it weren’t for Star Trek – Into Darkness, my entire weekend would have been gipped (all pun intended).  I am only sorry that I saw Star Trek first and then landed up ruining the rest of my day with some crap that Bollywood decided to dish out as its summer bonanza of sorts.

Go Goa Gone

Predictably, the page for Go Goa Gone (GGG) on www.bollywoodhungama.com refers to the genre of this movie as Zom-Com.  It was obviously intended to be funny – the term that is – and does strike as funny for a bit.  Say it in your head a couple of times.  There were RomComs and now there are ZomComs.  Funny no?

 

What you will soon realize that the funny feeling lasts only upto the time that you walk into the cinema hall.  After that, it will dawn upon your pea brain that the joke was actually on you.  That you were the one who was conned by a superb marketing effort by the producers who lured you into the nearest hall to squeeze the living daylights out of you while you try and sustain GGG.

 

Hardik (Kunal Khemu), Luv (Vir Das) and Bunny (Anand Tiwari) are close friends who work together and stay together in what can be best called – A Bachelor Pad.  Hardik and Luv are lazy as can be.  They are also horny as can be.  The 3 of them take off to Goa after Luv gets dumped and Bunny gets called for a business presentation.

 

Here Luv conveniently bumps into the sizzling hot Luna (Puja Gupta) who also invites the gang to a rave party that is being organized by the Russian Mafia on a desolate island off the coast.  The main attraction – the latest drug that is sold in a red capsule and costs $100 a pop.  The side effect – everyone turns into a zombie the next day.  WOW!!!!

 

Now if you don’t find the story ridiculous then get a load of this.  To test if you are a zombie, the following tests have to be conducted.  First you find out what the person has had the previous night.  Next you ask him to narrate multiplication tables.  Then ask him the capital of Uganda and finally show him blood so that you can find out if he gets excited by its sight.  Wait a minute.  Why can’t we just jump to step 4 directly?

 

If you still do not find the concept ridiculous, then by all means go ahead and watch Saif Ali Khan making a fool of himself as a Russian Mafioso and drug dealer called Boris.  The music is nothing great.  The only saving grace is Puja Gupta in a blue 2 piece bikini and some other shots with not too much of clothing.

 

Are we in for a slew of Zombie movies in the days to come? We have had 2 in about a month or so.  I hope to god – and I seriously would like to pray – that we get over our fascination with this genre. I have never been a fan – Hollywood or Bollywood – of critters coming out of the ground and roaming around trying to be scary.  And Bollywood isn’t doing much to change my opinion in any way. 3 on 10.

 

Watch the trailer on https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4V5zGNVRmaE